Gaining Control

Therefore my disquieting thoughts make me respond, even because of my inward agitation. Job 20:2 (New American Standard Bible)

Zophar’s words to Job speak volumes to me this morning, for I, too, can find myself responding to my own disquieting thoughts and inward agitations. I am amazed how frequently I can allow those very things to control me, my outlook on life, my view of others, and my opinion of myself. The odd thing about it is that it usually has to do with things I don’t really know for sure but perceive to be true none the less. Case in point, what another people might or might not be thinking of me. Due to my own weaknesses, internal wounds, and inconsistent emotions, I can often decide that others think the worst of me, yet the truth of the matter is that I don’t really know what they are thinking. The enemy loves to see me play mental gymnastics that lead no where but down. He loves for me to draw the conclusion that I am not loved, wanted, or even liked by others, and then proceed to withdraw into my own little world of self loathing, fear, and abandonment. Unmet needs, expectations, and longings become the fodder that I can mentally feed upon and the scene plays out like a tragedy.

A conversation with a friend via the internet last night helped me to see the dangers of this tendency as well as a way to get myself back on the right track spiritually and emotionally. I was reminded of the necessity to let go of past hurts and disappointments, to think on what I know to be true, and by the grace of God, to live out the things God has been teaching me. For me, each of those things become decisions I have to make regarding where I allow my mind to dwell. I cannot afford to review unchangeable history. The whys and what ifs are too numerous and unproductive at best. When I presume to know what another person is thinking I must see that as a form of judging on my part and take myself off the throne upon which only God has the ability to sit. I have to choose to meditate on what God says and thinks about me, which is ultimately where my true identity is based. Freedom and growth will come for me as I implement these things into my life the NEXT time the battle of my mind is raging, I am faced with unfounded perceptions, or I am tempted to withdraw into my own emotional cocoon.

Life is too short and the opportunities to live an abundant life in Christ are too many to continue living in a defeated mode. It is time once again to put on the armor of truth, righteousness, peace, and faith so that I can move forward in my Christian life, enjoy and love the people in my life, and be productive in the kingdom work of my Heavenly Father.

Father, help me to now live what I have just written in this devotional. Help me to make the right choices. The wise choices. The necessary choices. Amen.

JESUS,Lover of my soul (it's all about You)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dD-ZdMOx_HY&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.