Owning His Words

Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble; He saved them out of their distresses. He sent His word and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions. Let them give thanks to the LORD for His loving kindness, and for His wonders to the sons of men! Psalm 107:19-21 (New American Standard Bible)

For any who have read my devotionals over the course of the last year or so, you have been aware of an ongoing battle in my life. While I have not given specific details it was quite apparent that I was struggling to possess victory in this area. My days were marked with guilt for failure, shame for a stronghold, frustration that freedom eluded me, and an endless trail of self effort and self reformation. I knew a lot of truth and shared it freely on a daily basis. But the bottom line was that I had yet to fully embrace that truth and see it change me at the very center of my being. To make matters worse, I had no idea why this was the case for me.

Yesterday, God showed me what I was missing all along. He made it clear to me that while I had cried out for His deliverance many times, I had failed to believe that He had done it! After my prayers were ended I would pick myself up and immediately work to bring about the change I so desired. My bondage was emotional dependency on others and I tried countless ways to over come it. I read books, I talked to friends, I sought professional counseling, I began attending meetings for Adult Children of Alcoholics, I listened to music, I rid my home of all the things that connected me to a significant person, and I finally bought into the lie that this is just the way I will always be and I must learn to guard myself in order to not form any future emotional ties to people. While I knew in my head that Jesus had come to set the captives free, I accepted the distorted version of truth that I would have to remain a prisoner.

That was the case until yesterday morning when God whispered to my spirit these words…”Pam, I have already healed you of your emotional dependency. I did it the moment you asked. But you have not claimed my healing and therefore have not been living out of it. Instead you have been living deceived. Receive what I have done and walk in the freedom that is yours.” The moment I embraced His words and acknowledged my healing, the power of emotional dependency was broken! I have finally come to own what was already mine and I have not stopped thanking God for it.

Father, thank you for each person who lifted me up in prayer and desired to see me walk in the truth and freedom they knew You offered. Having known the experience of being a captive makes me more appreciative of my freedom. I dance in delight of my deliverance. Amen.