A Place to Cry

You will weep no longer. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry; when He hears it, He will answer you. Isaiah 30:19 (New American Standard Bible)

Trials, heartaches, loss, betrayal, disappointment, and rejection are the very things that bring us to tears. Some would rather die than let someone see them cry. This can be for a variety of reasons but I suspect a leading reason is because of how their tears were received when they were younger.

A negative response to one's tears can embed lies in their minds. It did not matter if pain was the factor, deep hurt was the culprit, or any other scenario whereby tears were appropriate. Instead of comfort they received scorn. Instead of being embraced, they were sent away to their room. Instead of compassion, they found cold hearts.

I am not a person who shows emotion easily. When I am hurting or struggling I tend to get quiet and find a way to avoid conversation as well as eye contact. When asked how I am I can easily respond with “fine” and look for ways to change the subject. As God leads individuals into my life I am slowly learning to open up and take the “risk” of sharing. Each time I do, the hindrances seem to lessen, as do my fears that I will become a burden to others or they will walk away when my feelings and thoughts are exposed. This is possible when the heart of Jesus is felt through others. They help me to more clearly see His words that say, “I will never leave you or forsake you.”

There use to be a time (not too long ago) when tears made me feel uncomfortable and vulnerable. I felt uneasy letting anyone know I was hurting THAT much. What changed? I learned that tears were beneficial. I learned that people weren't as uncomfortable with my tears as I thought. But above all, I learned my tears touch the heart of God and stir Him to action. When I cry over loss, hurt, or fear, it is His comfort I now seek. I want to feel his embrace and hear His words of comfort whispered in my ear. I have a dear friend who can put her arms around me and speak words of comfort to me in amazing ways. That has become my picture of what my loving, heavenly Father is like as well.

I find assurance that my cries do not fall on deaf ears, a cold heart, closed eyes, or folded arms. During the greatest losses and pains of my life, His shoulder has been the one I could always bury my face in until my tears and energy were both spent. The comfort and compassion He gives goes beyond even that of my dearest friends.

Father, one day You will wipe away all my tears, but until then You will allow me to cry on Your shoulder as You gently wipe my present tears. You know the reason each one falls. Amen.

Contending With the Giants

For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. Romans 7:15 (New American Standard Bible)

We are not told what Paul’s actual struggles consisted of but whenever I read Romans 7, I can relate with what he is saying. There are times I want to just throw up my hands and say, “God, I do not understand myself!” Just when I think I have a certain area under control or mastered it rears its ugly head and shows me it is very much alive and well. Tonight I realized and admitted the existence of sleeping giants within me. They seem to sleep soundly until something arouses them and then the battle begins.

For me, the giants consist of feelings of shame, vulnerability, insignificance, and confusion. What awakens them are moments of disappointment, loneliness, unmet needs, and crushed expectations. Seeing them as giants and seeing what awakens them has helped me to finally fight them the same way David fought Goliath……come against them in the strength of the Lord. Use His Word and truth as my weapons. I don’t have to let their presence scare me or throw me off balance anymore.

I know when a tendency in me has died or been transformed by the power of God and I also know when that is far from the case. It use to send me reeling to see that I would have to contend with certain things on an on going basis……..maybe for the rest of my life. The simple truth is that I possess a sin nature, live in a fallen world, and will always have giants to face. David once again becomes my example. He fought Goliath ONCE and it was over, but he spent years running from King Saul. Either way, God gave continual victory.

My hope is renewed by these truths. I am not a basket case nor am I a lost cause. I am simply a child of God who must continue to take the stance of a warrior and face the battles as they come. As long as I stay honest and open with God and use the war tactics and armor He has provided for me I will be triumphant.

Father, there are times I am not sure I am doing things right and then You come along with the wisdom, counsel, and direction I need. I praise You! Amen.

In Weakness and Weariness

He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power. Isaiah 40:29 (New American Standard Bible)

I have several devotional books that are written as if Jesus is doing the talking. They are part of my spiritual sustenance each morning and never fail to speak works I long to hear. This morning was no exception as I opened the book Jesus Calling and read, My power flows most freely into weak ones aware of their need for Me. Faltering steps of dependence are not lack of faith; they are links to my Presence.

It took years for me to understand and embrace Jesus’ invitation when He said, “Come to Me all of you who are weary and heavy laden.” Weariness has the idea of being fatigued or exhausted due to wearisome effort. Jesus is saying, “When you have reached that point, come to Me. When you have exhausted your means, your strength, your initiative, your ability, your stamina, your determination, come to Me. I will give you strength. I will increase your power. I will give you the ability to recover and collect that strength and power.”

What I had to realize is that Jesus is not repulsed by my weakness and weariness. They are the very things that He uses to show me my own need of Him. He is continually inviting me to live my life out of interaction with Him whereby I see my need and bring it to Him. This is not just physical needs. It is ANY need, whether that means physical, spiritual, emotional, mental, or social. What I cannot muster up on my own or receive from another person is what I need to look to Him for. The more I do that the less I will be desiring to find it in myself or others.

Living my Christian life with the attitude that I must present to God a perfected, strong, stable, boundless façade, is a pretense that has disastrous results. Any time I refuse to admit the truth about myself and what is really going on inside of me and refuse to bring all of it to the One who loves me and wants to help me, I am in trouble.

Change has come as I have begun to see God’s loving heart and my needy heart. The biggest issue He has had to walk me through has been in the area of emotional dependency. As painful as it was for me to see myself so raw, so broken, and so needy, it has been a time of knowing God like I have never known Him. Admitting the truth about myself has opened the door to seeing the truth about God. I am in awe!

Father, I am learning to stand before You stripped of all pretense and self-imposed improvements. Your receiving of me as I am is precious and powerful. I love You! Amen.

When Change Did Not Come

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17 (King James Version)

It’s true! When I accepted Christ as my Savior at the age of 14, many things changed for me. I became a child of God, I became aware of my sin and that each sin was against Him, I began reading the Bible, I desired to be with Christians, I attended church, my ideas and goals changed, and I basically started on a different road. Yet, over the years and even decades, I had to admit that many other things had not changed. I still housed attitudes, addictions, and mindsets that were far from new. They were STILL a part of me. I believe I missed something that many others are also missing.

I often read 2 Corinthians 5:17 and saw my “being in Christ” as merely my salvation experience and wondered why I had yet to see all the old things passing away and all the new things coming my way. It wasn’t a matter of just giving it enough time. It was a matter of there not being deep change beyond behavior modification and grit. Jesus’ words of “My yoke is easy and My burden is light seemed to be far removed from my experience. The changes I needed had to come from God and for some reason they weren’t coming…until recently!

What was the difference? I had to see 2 Corinthians 5:17 along side of John 15:1-11, where Jesus makes the statement, “Abide in Me.” To abide means to remain as one, not depart, be present, be held, to wait for and upon. Basically it has the idea of intimate connection. THAT is not the way I lived most of my Christian life and hence saw little internal change. As I have experienced connecting with God on a daily basis I have begun to see Him change me in some profound areas of my life. I have seen Him break addictions I had to food and people. I have seen Him revolutionize my family life and my marriage. I have seen Him redirect my focus.

I am daily becoming a different person and catching the first glimpses of the abundant life Jesus spoke of in John 15. What I found was that being in Christ for salvation is a one time decision. Being in Christ for a way of life is a daily, moment by moment decision and adventure. It is something I often heard others speak or write of, but failed to possess for myself. That has begun to change and actually started a couple weeks ago when I set a number of things aside for one week and turned my attention and my heart toward a God who continues to draw me to Himself.

Father, I have no doubt that the changes I am seeing are coming from You. I praise You for them and look for more because You are desirous to do more. Amen.

The One Who is For Me

This I know that, God is for me. Psalm 56:9 (New American Standard Bible)

This phrase needs to become a banner I carry with me through out each day. To realize that above every situation, relationship, and circumstance God is for me! I need this reminder today. I need it to make its way to the very center of my being. It has to be more than words on a page to me. It has to be what gives me life, assurance, and comfort.

As the Romans 8:31 says, “If God be for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8 is a chapter that is filled with ways God is for us. He doesn’t condemn us. He sets us free. He sent His Son to be our offering for sin. He has given us His Spirit. He gives us life and peace. He claims us as His own. He leads us by His Spirit. He is our Abba Father and calls us His children. He makes us His heirs. He adopts and redeems us. He helps us in our weaknesses. He prays and intercedes for us. He works all things for good. He calls us for His purposes. He knows us thoroughly and is conforming us to the image of His Son. He justifies and glorifies us. Any and all that would be against us surely fades in comparison to God being for us.

Ephesians 6 lists the armor I am to put on and when it says to pick up my sword, which is the Word of God, this list from Romans 8 is part of my sword. When thoughts of condemnation begin to circle, THIS list is what I can use against them. When relationships are not what I want them to be, THIS list is what will comfort me. When life gets messy, THIS list is what can bring calm to my internal world. When the enemy mocks me with my own failures, THIS list can silence him. When my mind takes trips down wrong paths and into dark pits, THIS list is what can get me back on the right path and walking in the light once again.

For too many years I could read God’s Word but fail to apply it to my every day life. I am learning how to do that now and it is making a difference. While there are still times I fail and don’t get it right, there are also moments of victory and growth that I praise God for. He and I both know I will not reach perfection in this life time, but together we celebrate the triumphs and progress.

I don’t know what others are facing who read these words today, but I am confident they are meant to encourage you and give you a life line of hope. Time and time again, God has assured me the messages are meant for myself and others. They are meant for you!

Father, of all that I have read this morning from Your Word and various books, THIS was Your message for me today. What a gift! What a precious God You are to me! Amen.

It Will Be Well

Tell the righteous it will be well with them, for they will enjoy the fruit of their deeds. Isaiah 3:10 (New International Version)

Words hold such power. God used words to speak creation into existence. Each day we are given the opportunity to breathe life or death into situations. God would desire us to be a verbal encouragement to those we come into contact with.

At times, we wonder if what we are doing really matters. Is it making a difference in anyone’s life? It is easy to get discouraged when we do not see results immediately or try as we may difficulties still find their way into our life.

Imagine yourself running a race. Along the way spectators call out to you words of encouragement meant to spur you on to finish the race. Words have a way of snapping us back to reality.

The truth of the matter is God’s principle of reaping and sowing is still in place today. “It will be well” is a promise made by God to those who chose to follow Him. They are words we must learn to speak to ourselves and to others. No matter what the circumstances are right now, IT WILL BE WELL. No matter what grim news has just been delivered to you, IT WILL BE WELL. No matter what loss you have just sustained, IT WILL BE WELL. No matter what your finances look like presently, IT WILL BE WELL.

For the righteous (just, lawful) those words are meant to inspire, encourage, sustain, rejuvenate, motivate, and renew. We must not let the things we can see, hear, feel, and experience diminish the promise made from our Father’s mouth to our heart.

Today when you begin to doubt, fear, or become discouraged let the phrase “it will be well” become your mantra. Count on it as surely as anything else. Think of it this way. In the midst of it all, God leans over, takes your head in His hands, and whispers into your ear, “ I know it is hard right now. I know you are hurting and the way has gotten painful. But I give you My word. This is all going to end well. I promise!”

Father, cause Your words to take root in me. They are not only spoken in love but they will be accomplished. Amen.

Finding It In Him

You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11 (New American Standard Bible)

I see three things in this verse that I very much want in my own life and so does God. They are God’s direction, fullness of joy, and pleasures forevermore. What a far cry from those qualities that use to be prevalent in my mind when I thought of what God intended for me! Something is wrong when more attention is given to outward show rather than what is going on internally.

For years I could not figure out why standards, rules, and areas of separation seemed to be my main focus and that of other believers. Then it dawned on me it was because they were so assessable. It was easier to compare myself with another person’s actions and I could always find someone who didn’t quite measure up to my “spirituality.” But the heart is another matter. That is a place that cannot be compared to another person. That is the place where God alone sees all. And that is the place from where the outward behavior must stem. No wonder God said that those who compare themselves among themselves are not wise. Comparisons in that way do not please Him. Honesty in the inward parts does!

If I see one capsule theme for this verse it is found in the word presence. That word epitomizes cherished fellowship, undivided attention, genuine love, and a desire to be close. When those words characterize our walk with God we will be the recipients of direction, joy, and pleasure in abundant and ongoing measures! But far too often we look to people to give us what we long for instead of going to the only true Source.

The best thing that ever happened in my Christian life was when God began to direct me to people who in turn pointed me back to Him as my source for those things. It followed decades of thinking I would be alright if I could just bond with the right person. Time and time again I found they could not give me what I craved the most, in the amounts I wanted, and at the constant level I wanted it. It was like standing near a sprinkler with a cup in hand trying to catch a few drops of water to quench my thirst. When all the while the Fountain of Living Water beaconed me to come to Him.

It took a long time for me to realize my problem was not that I had needs. My problem was where I looked to have the needs met and satisfied. For me, it was in relationships with Christians whom I most admired and wanted to be like. God had to show me He was the One for me to look to and He wanted to bring out the uniqueness of who He created me to be. Am I still learning? You bet! But I treasure the journey I am on to find Him as my All in All.

Father, I did not always know it was You I needed. Not just for eternal life but for abundant life. Quench my deepest thirst with Yourself. Amen.