Here By His Choice

Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, and the One who formed you from the womb, I the LORD, am the maker of all things... Isaiah 44:24

God's involvement in my life did not begin when I accepted Christ as my Savior. My salvation simply put me into family relationship with Him. The moment I trusted Christ to be my Savior in July of 1973 was the moment I became His child ~ His daughter. But His history with me was evident long before that.

I love the fact that God formed me in my mother's womb. He was active and present in the first seconds of my conception. He had His hands on me and was fashioning me for a purpose in the same way that He formed the earth from nothing and Adam from dust. He put into place all the intricate details for my body as well as my soul, spirit, and personality. As a potter molds clay, He molded me. I was His personal creation in every way.

And while He was forming me, He was talking to me as well. Isaiah 49:1 says He called me and named me. In the KJV it says He made mention of my name. What a personal, intimate Creator! I often wonder if at that time He was speaking His plans over my life. Whispering to me His intentions for me. That maybe today as I desire certain things, they are mere echoes of His words spoken long ago. I'd like to think so!

There have been truths I failed to grasp for years. A number of years ago, my mother shared with me the reaction she had when she found out she was pregnant with me. In essence, she shared some details of my womb experience. I was the fourth child to be born. At the time, my parents’ marriage was strained and finances were tight. So my mom's initial reaction to my conception was anger and tears. Hence, the message was delivered to me as I lived in her womb that I was a burden. It manifested itself into my adult years as an ever present idea that I was a burden to any people in my life ~ even close friends.

God is in the process of rewriting that message and He is starting with the truth of His choice for me to be born. When negative thoughts arise I now have something to counter them with. He loved me, chose me, formed me, called me by name, and purposed my existence. I am alive and here on purpose!

Father, You not only hold my hand today, your were holding it as You formed me. I am touched by Your touch. Amen

It's All in the Heart

He feeds on ashes, a deceived heart has turned him aside. And he cannot deliver himself, nor say, is there not a lie in my right hand? Isaiah 44:20

The Bible speaks of various kinds of hearts. I looked up "heart" in my Strong's Concordance and was amazed at the list I found just from the first five books of the Bible. Some were admirable hearts and others were in need of transformation. Allow me to share my findings.

I saw a hardened heart, an evil heart, a grieved heart, an honest heart, an innocent heart, a failed heart, a glad heart, a willing heart, a stirred heart, a wise heart, a hateful heart, a sorrowful heart, a selfish heart, a discouraged heart, an obstinate heart, a departing heart, a lifted up heart, an upright heart, a servant's heart, a deceived heart, a wicked heart, a hot heart, a fainting heart, an astonished heart, a joyful heart, a glad heart, a fearful heart, a perceptive heart, a blessed heart, a circumcised heart, a loving heart, and a turned away heart. I now have a better understanding of various heart conditions. Considering the heart is "ones innermost character, feelings, and inclinations " it is easy to see the importance of having a right heart.

Our words, actions, and attitudes are a result of what is going on in our heart. They are fruit from the "trees" of our heart. No wonder we are encouraged to watch over our heart with all diligence, because from it flow the springs of life (Proverbs 4:24). I recently heard a speaker talk about the necessity of reaching the heart of our children. For them or us, that is the only way true change will come about.

In today's verse the deceived heart has three characteristics. It turns a person away from God, cannot deliver him, and keeps him holding on to lies. This type of heart can be found in anyone. So I must ask myself how as a Christian I can be deceived. Unless I know the truths about God and His Word I am a walking target for deception. And the frustrating part about deception is that many times we don't know we are embracing it.

I must continually ask God to search my heat and reveal to me where I am living with deception or any other negative condition.

Father, may my heart be an open book to You. May I long to know the truth about the condition of my heart as much as You long to show me. Amen.

He Never Leaves

When you pass through the water, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched. Isaiah 43:2

Ever go through a difficulty or loss and someone you hoped would be there for you wasn’t? For whatever reason they were unavailable. You long to hear words of encouragement from them but nothing comes. Not an email, not a phone call, not a visit. The worst part of any trial is the feeling of abandonment and a sense that you are on your own.

Jesus wanted to make sure we knew He would be with us and see us through any and all painful situations…no matter the size or duration. Someone once said when you find yourself in the oven of affliction, God’s eye is on the clock and His hand is on the dial. Although it is easy to sense His distance He is still a very present help in time of trouble.

Rather than abandon He draws close. Rather than ignore He consistently watches. Rather than distance Himself He carries. He is like no one else. People can pray, encourage, counsel, listen, and help. But only God can step in and minister to the deepest hurts, fears, wounds, and emotions we experience.

He is not just watching from a distance ~aware of what is happening. He is in the water, river, and fire with us. There may be times the water level rises so high that He must put me on His shoulders or the flame’s heat becomes so intense He must shelter me under His wings for protection. Other times He may just need to hold my hand or put His hand on my shoulder. But at no time does He become preoccupied with other things and have to withdraw.

Yet, even with all that, He still sends friends of faith into my life to encourage me. It may be just a phrase or two reminding me that God is in control and cares for me. It may be a reminder of their prayers. It may be assurance of their help if needed. These and many other kindnesses are like “hugs” to my spirit. As they are expressed, He squeezes my hand tighter, smiles, and nods His approval. For their words have not only touched my heart, but they have touched His as well.

Father, I embrace Your words of “I will never leave you.” They allow me to pass and walk through it all. Amen.

I Can Finally See

They do not know, nor do they understand, for He has smeared over their eyes so that they cannot see and their hearts so they cannot comprehend. Isaiah 44:18

Until God opens our spiritual eyes, we cannot see or comprehend the truths of His Word. Concepts stay out of reach. Understanding remains a mystery. It is like looking at a book written in a language you have not learned yet. God must intervene before His truths can be digested.

I look at this passage in Isaiah 44:9-20 with amazement. It is entitled "The Folly of Idolatry." It goes on to describe a person who makes his own idol and then worships it. He does not even question the foolishness of this. It is an idol he has made and yet he worships it and prays to it. I imagine people who came out of idolatry to know and serve the living God were incredulous that they ever worshiped the idols to start with.

If I could write a chapter about my blind days it would be entitled "The Folly of Legalism." Legalism is defined as "strict, literal, or excessive conformity to the law or to a religious or moral code that restricts free choice." I was not walking in freedom as long a I felt God's acceptance of me was determined by my standard keeping and performance. It wasn't working for salvation per say. It was working to somehow become acceptable to God and to be loved by God.

During that time, God's voice was not discernible to me, His Word was not appealing to me, and His work in my life was not evident to me. I could work, keep my list of duties, and live under the burden of perfectionism but it never brought me into a friendship type relationship with my Creator.

I had resigned myself to the fact that life would always be like that. God would always be my task master and harsh judge. From day to day I felt the condemnation of His disapproval. It wasn't until God removed the veil from my eyes, mind, and spirit that I could see my own faulty thinking and gain a hope that things could actually be different for me.

That was two years ago this month. I do know this ~ now that I have tasted of true freedom and caught a glimpse of what God is really like, I hunger to know more! The old way no longer appeals to me.

Father, You knew the day You would give me the gift of spiritual sight and understanding. I marvel at what I see now! Thank You. Amen.

A Blind Comparison

Is it not lawful for me to do what I wish with what is my own? Or is your eye envious because I am generous? Matthew 20:15

We do not always appreciate the generosity of God…..especially when others are the recipients. One quick read through of Matthew 20:1-16 reveals an aspect of human nature that is uncomfortable to admit for oneself. The parable is told of a landowner who hires men to work in his vineyard. Some are hired first thing in the morning and others throughout the day all the way up to the last hour of the day. The first to be hired agree to work for a denarius. This was the usual pay for a day’s work. At first they were content with the idea but by the end of the parable they are grumbling and accusing the landowner of unfairness because he had the “audacity” to give everyone the same pay whether they worked all day or just one hour. Their comparisons to others, false assumptions, and lack of appreciation for generosity robbed them of joy and contentment.

The thing about the parables Jesus gave is they have a way of becoming a mirror for us to see ourselves. Sad to say, I can relate all too well to the feelings of the group that worked all day. If given the same circumstances in my life I would probably respond in the same way. We have a scale by which we weigh and measure the things in life and we mistakenly think God has the same scale. We cannot fathom the depths of God’s grace and the heart of His generosity.

When we live our lives comparing ourselves to others in the area of health, marriage, finances, friendships, gifts, talents, opportunities, positions, possessions, and popularity we set ourselves up for dissatisfaction, unhappiness, and even anger. We are fine as long as things seem even or if we are a little ahead of everyone else. But when another individual receives something we don’t have or is given an opportunity we do not get we can be filled with jealousy. I would venture to say this can even be a problem among ministries.

Yet, my perspective of this parable changed when the author, Phillip Yancey, pointed out the necessity for us to see ourselves as the workers who were called out to the vineyard during the last hour of the day. It is then that I realize God has been extravagant with His generosity to me in multiple ways! May I know that He has NEVER short changed me.

Father, Your generosity leaves me in awe! Amen.

God's Declaration Over Us

But now, thus says the LORD, your Creator, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel, do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine! Isaiah 43:1

Ever hear a child yell out, "That's mine!"? They are passionate about their possession. Saying "That's mine" is their way of declaring ownership, desire, and longing for a certain object. Two things are certain....the object is theirs and they will not share it with another ~ at the moment anyway. There are only a few reasons they claim it as their own to start with. They found it, they made it, they bought it, or they received it as a gift. Whatever the case may be, they KNOW that they KNOW it is theirs!

I find such security in God's declaration pertaining to His people...."You are Mine!" As I slip my name into this verse I am filled with a sense of awe. I am embracing the truth that God not only claims me as His own but He is passionate about it. He gives two reasons for His possessiveness ~ He created me and redeemed me.

I remember the first time someone shared with me the idea that God not only loves me but pursues me in order that I would come to know Him. He wooed me to win me! I still cannot fully grasp that wonder. This morning I hear Him speaking this verse into my heart and over my life. He is speaking in hushed tones and with gentleness. I picture myself as a small child, sitting on His lap. One arm holds me while the other smoothes back my hair. My spirit is warmed as the words sink in. Knowing that I belong to Him makes me feel safe.

He calls me by name. He not only knows my name ~ He uses it when He speaks to me. May I ponder all of this throughout my day. It leaves me feeling cared for, wanted, and cherished. His personal touch and undivided attention arrest my heart.

My response back to Him is, "Yes, I am Yours." In the awareness of that, I can now serve Him, obey Him, and love Him because I am His.

Father, You have reached me at the core of who I am today. I receive Your words and Your embrace. Amen.

To Go Without

He gets hungry and his strength fails; he drinks no water and becomes weary. Isaiah 44:12

Our physical bodies need sustenance on a daily basis. As we expend energy in any number of ways we use up what has been stored in our systems. Once it is used up it cannot replenish itself ~ it must be replaced. If we go for too long without taking in more food and liquid our bodies suffer for it.

A while back I learned this lesson first hand. I was in need of God's intervention in a mighty way. I had fasted before but this time I looked to the fast Esther called for...a three day fast without food or water. The first day went fine as my body just lived off stored up nutrients. The second day, I felt a bit shaky but nothing serious. It was the morning of the third day that my body finally crashed. I ended the fast after 52 hours. I felt very weak, light headed, and extremely nauseous. At first I thought I could just take in water but I felt worse. So I decided to give my body what it needed...food.

Here is what surprised me. Although I ate food and drank liquids the physical weaknesses lingered for 3 more days! On that third day God began to show me the spiritual ramifications and similarities.

I must daily take in my spiritual food. I do this through reading God's Word, journaling, praying, fellowship, etc... If I don't meet with God for one day I won't necessarily feel the effects. A second day is a little more noticeable ~ as the spirit weakens the flesh seems to gain strength. By the third day I am in a starvation mode and my spirit crashes.

The remedy is to take in the Word and living water. But just like in my experience with the fast, my spiritual condition may continue to lack strength for a few more days. In a sense, I need to replenish my spiritual reserve. So often I could not see this principle. I'd get discouraged when I wasn't immediately strengthened again. I see now there is a process.

Fasting is a Biblical concept and has many rewards. The spiritual insights alone are astounding. At the same time, God's Word and prayer are not what we as believers should fast from. Yet that is exactly what we do when we skip this precious time. Like physical food, our spiritual intake needs to be continual.

Father, You offer me a banquet every day! Your invitation to "come and dine" is so lavishly given. May I hunger and thirst for You daily! Amen.