Seeing it for Myself

Now when the attendant of the man of God had risen early and gone out, behold, an army with horses and chariots was circling the city. And his servant said to him, "Alas, my master! What shall we do?" So he answered, "Do not fear, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them." Then Elisha prayed and said, "O LORD, I pray, open his eyes that he may see " And the LORD opened the servant's eyes and he saw; and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. 2 Kings 6:15-17 (New American Standard Bible)

Elisha’s servant is in a state of panic when he sees his city surrounded by the enemy. He looks to Elisha for assurance and advice. Elisha’s first response is to speak truth. But his servant needed more than Elisha’s perspective, he needed his own experience and that is what Elisha prayed that God would give him. I can only imagine the servant’s eyes opening wide with wonder as he saw for himself the mountain filled with God’s army of horses and chariots of fire!

I have been in this servant’s shoes before and for too many years. I have spent decades looking to others for assurance and advice. Let’s face it, Christians are great comforters, nurturers, and advisors. When I became a Christian it didn’t take me long to see them as the ones to run to when life got hard, hurts came, and heartaches persisted. It was easy to allow them to be my pain relievers. It never took the pain away but at least it eased it. Here’s the problem though, as long as I run to others I fail to experience God as my comforter. People become a type of panacea for what ails me. Then I wonder why seeing God as my refuge, strength, and stronghold are such foreign concepts for me. If I want to see God as the One who is passionately involved in my life I have to start allowing Him to be involved in my life and that includes the times I am afraid, hurting, and empty. When I have the experience of God soothing and calming me it strengthens my bond with Him.

I have also spent too many years listening to others describe the Christian life to me and longing for their description to be mine as well. God wants me to know that listening to others will never be as life changing as experiencing Him for myself. He knows how empowering it will be for me to see things for myself rather than just take other people’s word for it. While I can learn a lot from others, God wants me to find my own unique relationship with Him. Not patterned after another person’s experience but birthed out of a daily walk with Him. I am free to stop trying to duplicate other lives. God knows, and I am learning, that personal experience will always be my greatest time of learning. It is all about running to Him, listening to Him, learning from Him, and living for Him. God and me…what a thought!

Father, I willingly turn this new corner with You. I am finally ready to see what You have been longing to show me! Amen.

Through It All - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33aGaYAZvL4&feature=fvw

Thank you to those of you who held me up in prayer this week. Your prayers were needed, appreciated, and effective.

God's Longings

Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you. And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; how blessed are all those who long for Him. Isaiah 30:18 (New American Standard Bible)

Each of us have things we long for and desire to receive. We not only want it but do whatever we can to get it. I find it interesting that God also has longings. His expectancies run high, just like ours.

Isaiah 30:18 tells me two things God longs for. He longs to be gracious to us AND He wants to have compassion on us. This certainly is not the picture of a stingy, angry God. When I look in His eyes I see them sparkle with love, joy, and laughter. He actually looks forward to the times when He can lavish His grace and compassion on us.

Since God wants more than anything to show these attributes to us, what hinders Him from doing so? I believe it comes down to our inability or refusal to receive the gifts from His hands. When I walk in disobedience, follow my own agenda, look to other sources to have my needs met, or fasten my eyes and attach my heart away from Him, I shut out His attempts to show me His graciousness and compassion.

Instead of opening my hands to Him, I close them tightly. Instead of running to Him, I back away. Instead of receiving from Him, I live deprived. So how do I reverse these tendencies? It too is found in my longings. This verse speaks of longing for Him. That longing is a deep heart desire to know Him, please Him, serve him, and totally embrace Him. Think of the person or people in your life that mean the most to you. That desire you have to spend time with them and to talk with them. They bring you joy and delight. You have a longing to be in relationship with them.

May God help us to cultivate that very desire for Himself. When spending time with Him and thoughts of Him become our greatest delight and priority we are then able to receive what He is longing to bestow upon us……His graciousness and compassion.

Father, may my longing for You become as strong as Your longing to be gracious and compassionate toward me. I was created in Your image ~ may I live in Your image. Amen.

One Day at a Time

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:34 (New King James Version)

Worry and the thoughts of what lies ahead can become distracting, discouraging, and daunting to the process of our journey. For some it may be the futuristic worries of finances, health, or security. Twelve step programs have it right. Their mantra is often, “One day at a time” and THAT day is the one being presently lived!

While I do not struggle with worries over physical issues, I recently caught myself being worried about the breaking of addictions and how I would be able to continue to walk in freedom for the rest of my life. I was becoming overwhelmed until God reminded me that I do not have to think about the “rest of my life” but rather just focus on His provision and power TODAY. That simple redirection of thought put my mind and heart at ease.

“Today” is a manageable amount of time. I have been through some changes and made some changes in my life and God’s instruction to me is to walk in obedience and cooperation with Him moment by moment for victory. Will there be setbacks and sidetracks? Absolutely! Will there be times when what seemed complete suddenly seems to come unraveled? Yes! Those are a given due to the fact that I am human and live in a fallen world. God’s reminder to me is to realize anew that it is all a process….a journey. He alone knows the full scope and end result of where He is leading me. He alone provides the where with all that empowers me to make right choices and live victoriously. He alone brings about the wholeness and fullness He has promised.

My responsibility is to do what He tells me to do and when I fail to quickly confess, repent, and embrace His forgiveness. It is not about perfection! It is about being in relationship with Him and walking in dependence upon Him. The problems come when I allow any thing or any one to come between me and His will and His ways. He is my Source! He is my Provider! He is my Necessity! Those are my “starting point” phrases that are meant to place my hands on the plow and feet on the path once again.

I cannot afford to think beyond today when it comes to living out His plan and purpose for me. The deliverance I seek is not to be found in a “moment” but rather in a life time of connecting to my Abba Father!

Father, thank you for giving me a life time to get it right! Amen.

One Day at a Time - Christy Lane
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ExFtojY4Y0&feature=related

He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food. Job 36:16

An Incredible Combination

Let me hear Your lovingkindness in the morning; For I trust in You; Teach me the way in which I should walk; For to You I lift up my soul. Deliver me, O LORD, from my enemies; I take refuge in You. Teach me to do Your will, For You are my God; Let Your good Spirit lead me on level ground. Psalm 143:8-10 (New American Standard Bible)

Trusting God, lifting up my soul to Him, taking refuge in Him, and acknowledging Him as my God are the essentials for hearing Him, learning from Him, and being led by Him. One does not happen without the other. How glad I am that He has not left me to figure things out for myself. He has not intended for my Christian life to be lived in a self-learning or self help mode. So much of what I want to learn from Him, He is willing to teach me. As I read today’s passage I decided to make it my personal prayer. God in His graciousness answered it with Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you. My prayer…His answer….what a precious combination. I don’t have to wonder if God will do this. I have His word, His promise, His commitment to do so.

Lesson one for today has involved steps of obedience to take in order to break free of continued dependency issues. I can see now what I have been doing that hinders the freedom from coming. His instructions have been clear to me with the assurance that as I act upon them I will see good results. Not only has He shown this to me, but He has assured me of His help and enabling to do what He says. I am not on my own and I am not helpless!

How much I miss when I fail to see God as my personal Instructor for all areas and issues of my life. Nothing is off limits to Him. Nothing is too much for Him. Nothing taxes or tires Him. With His eye watching me and His hand holding me and guiding me, I am ready to step into this day with all the assurance, confidence, and strength I will need. These do not come from me but rather are gifts to me from my Father. He is true to His Word to be my Helper, Defender, Deliverer, Refuge, Shelter, and Teacher.

Father, I am eager to learn that which You are eager to teach me. Amen.

Have Your Way - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZiCf2-0xJ8&feature=PlayList&p=20545CC92CF8C7ED&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=11

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Accepting the Oil

Let the righteous strike me; It shall be a kindness. And let him rebuke me;
It shall be as excellent oil; Let my head not refuse it. For still my prayer is against the deeds of the wicked. Psalm 141:5 (New King James Version)

In the middle of a Psalm where David is acknowledging the works of his enemies and asking God to take action against them and not allow their agendas to be successful, lies this precious verse that is an aspect of authentic friendship. It speaks volumes to me and allows me to see rebuke and correction in a whole new light.

When an individual has to call me on the carpet for wrong attitudes and actions, my natural tendency is to back away and feel hurt. To me it doesn’t feel kind or soothing. I can quickly draw the conclusion that their rebuke comes out of a dislike of me rather than a heart of love for me. As a matter of fact, it doesn’t even have to be a verbal rebuke….it can simply be the withholding of what I want from them. Yet they and God have better plans for me. Plans for success and wholeness.

Relationships are so much a part of my life. I thrive in them. Lately though, God is shifting some things and the scenes of my life are taking on a whole new look. I keep seeing myself on a frozen lake attempting to ice skate. The falls are many and often painful. It was easier when others stood next to me and kept me on my feet. Their help was a necessary part of my journey, but the time has come for them to take some steps back so that I will truly learn how to skate on my own. That is the only way for me to gain necessary skill, coordination, and muscle development.

So where does today’s verse come in? Last night, a person who knows me better than most came out on the lake, gave me words of correction and instruction, pulled me to my feet again, and reminded me of the necessity to make wise choices. Not all of her words were easy to hear but they were definitely oil on my head. Oil that would have a profound affect on my thoughts and motives. She didn’t stay on the lake with me. She is purposefully and wisely standing at a distance to watch and pray. She knows that what was helpful at one time would be a hindrance now. She and God both want me to experience free style skating with all the turns, whirls, and grace that is possible.

This morning I am starting my day with the oil still on my head and thankful for the one whom God used to put it there. Today will be a day of staying on my feet a little longer as I continue to master the art of skating!

Father, keep showing me any debris on the lake of my life that hinders me from truly skating free. I look forward to the day when freedom of movement marks my path. Amen.

In His Time
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo-rGzx2OZk&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Temporary Times

When He had said this, He spat on the ground, and made clay of the spittle, and applied the clay to his eyes, and said to him, "Go, wash in the pool of Siloam" (which is translated, Sent) So he went away and washed, and came back seeing. John 9:6, 7 (New American Standard Bible)

I have been thinking today of not only this miracle account in Scripture but many that played out in similar fashion. Every physical situation imaginable… blindness, deafness, leprosy, cripples, paralysis, demon possession, epilepsy….were no match for Jesus’ pronouncement of healing. What I find fascinating is that in each case the problem was permanently gone! This man who was blind from birth and received his sight, did not spend the rest of his life battling any trace of blindness. His sight was his from that point on. In each case where a miracle had happened the healing was permanent…excluding the raising of the dead who later died again. Their healing was complete and permanent.

I long for Jesus to apply a type of clay to my soul and heal me of my internal issues as profoundly and permanently as the physical healings I read of in Scripture. To no longer be confronted with returning bouts of sadness, emotional dependency, loneliness, and heartaches. When I have a good day I mistakenly think it is permanent. I have felt healed and even proclaimed it, only to eventually see the “healing” fade and the issues resurface. I have come to realize one thing. What I often deem as a healing is more of a temporary reprieve. It is a restful time but not a permanent place. At those times, it feels good to laugh and smile. How disheartening when the laughter dies down and the smile subsides. How anti climatic to realize I am living in a fallen world, with a fallen nature, and weaknesses too numerous to count. I despise the patterns and cycles!

Today has been a day of understanding the ebb and flow of my emotions. I am accepting the fact that permanent relief will most likely not be mine until I leave this world and become a permanent resident of Heaven. Strangely enough, this is comforting for me to realize. It takes away the pressure to be perfect and puts a stop to the condemning thoughts that I am doing something wrong. I want to begin noticing the many emotional reprieves God blesses me with throughout each day rather than cringing at the failures. While I cannot claim a healing for now, I can rejoice in progress made and with that I smile.

Father, just when I think the abundant life is out of reach for me, You come and comfort me. In the midst of every emotional battle, move me forward. Amen.

I Have A Shelter
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhmS6VvPm84&feature=PlayList&p=F0BA1ACD8C2BFC55&index=54

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

God's Word to Me

The LORD will accomplish what concerns me; Your lovingkindness, O LORD, is everlasting; Do not forsake the works of Your hands. Psalm 138:8 (New American Standard Bible)

I absolutely love it when I read a verse and know without a doubt that it is God’s Word to me right now….right where I am at! It may answer a question or show direction or fill a need. It may be the summation of what He has been doing. Whatever the case, it re-ignites my faith and hope for the journey. Those are the two major things that take a hit when I fail or struggle with a heart issue. Yet, when I come away from the failure and the struggle subsides, God is there with a lesson, with instruction, with assurance, and with a word.

The past few days have been wrought with wrong thinking and conclusions. Questioning where I was at on the journey and feeling more of a failure than a success, I so badly wanted to crawl back under the care of others, have them strengthen me emotionally, and make them responsible for me. The pull toward depending on others and giving into that pull will only serve to strengthen the very addiction I want to be free of. Yet, God blocked that from happening last night. He blocked a conversation from taking place, He blocked a phone call from being made, and He blocked an email from being sent. Why? He knew that each would only be done as a way to feed off a substitute for Himself. That is not what He wants for me. That is not what is good for me. That is not what this journey is about. I went to bed with one prayer voiced, “God, show me where I am at on this journey.”

When I awoke this morning what had such a strong pull on me last night was weakened and I was strengthened. I began to see the truth of who I am in Christ. A victor not a victim. Whole not incomplete. Healthy not in need of healing. A precious vessel in His hands not a broken piece of pottery in the hands of others. Then I came across today’s verse and heard His word to me. He is working on me, loving me, and sticking with me. The answer to my prayer of last night of where I am at is this…..right in His hands, under His care, and close to His heart. Am I in need of care, emotional strength, and change? Yes, His!!!!

Father, You never give up on the work of Your hands. You never deem me an impossible case. Keep teaching me. Keep showing me. Keep molding me. I give You praise. I rest in Your love. Amen.

Shout To The Lord - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I71XhjqoHvs

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.