Squelching or Quenching the Thirst

As the deer pants for the water brooks, so pants my soul for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. Psalm 42:1,2 (New King James Version)

Julie Ackerman Link said in her booklet Loving God With All My Heart, “The thing that frustrates me the most is a reliable indicator of my highest desire, and my highest desire indicates what I worship.” Desires are the very things that drive us to do the things we do and to chase after the things we chase after. I so often want to just squelch, ignore, or deaden the desires that remain unfulfilled in me. But God is nudging me to bring the desires to Him and allow Him to meet them.

When He becomes my desire and the One I look to for the satisfying of my desires then my life takes on a whole new dimension. I begin to feel more at home in my skin because I am finally turning to the right source and living life as God intended. Freedom and growth come as I once again realize I was created with desires that were given in order to draw me to God. But Satan loves to dangle counterfeits in front of me and convince me the desires can be met in them rather than in God. He will even take the things God meant as gifts and use them as possible means for satisfaction.

For instance, it is all too easy for me to look to relationships to make me feel loved, affirmed, accepted, and complete. But the need for those things run deeper than any person can possibly reach. It is like trying to quench my thirst with a thimble full of water…it is just not going to be enough. So in an effort to not feel the disappointment from my counterfeit sources, I condemn myself for wanting to be loved, affirmed, accepted, and complete, and try to deaden the desires. To live my life in a state of numbness becomes my answer.

But God says there is a better way to live my life! Look to Him for the fulfillment of those desires. Bring the longings and cravings to Him. He is the only One who is fully available and able to do for me what no person can do. Will He ever use people in my life? Absolutely. But never as the primary source. NEVER!

Why did the Psalmist proclaim God as the One He most desired? Because he knew there was no other way to quench his thirst. He longed to drink freely and completely from the only Fountain of Living Water!

Father, You alone can quench the thirst that persists in me. May I learn to drink my fill of You. Be the core desire of my inner person! Amen.

All Who Are Thirsty - Robin Mark
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrnvSf2dX18&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

In Need Again

Then Peter came and said to Him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:21, 22 (New American Standard Bible)

It is one thing to consider Peter’s question when you are in need of forgiving someone. It is quite another when you realize you are the one standing in need of forgiveness on a continual basis. Wanting to kick yourself for repeated patterns of behavior and seeing little change. Knowing that the person you are asking forgiveness from AGAIN is one who has seen the worst in you and still sees it. Not always sure of the response you will get, it is easy to walk with a sense of shame and embarrassment. Eye contact is minimal as is conversation. It is one of the most uncomfortable positions in which to be.

This morning I am asking myself why so many of us as believers walk with a sense of condemnation after we have failed when Scripture clearly states there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. For me, there are numerous reasons. My actions remind me of how opposite of God I really am. I cringe at imperfection and I have so much of it to cringe at! Repeated offenses remind me that change is slow in coming and at times I doubt it will ever come. Insecurities come to the surface and work to convince me that I have now given another person every reason to stop loving me and I fear they will. Ultimately, I know I don’t deserve another chance. I wonder how many of these thoughts plagued the prodigal son on his trip back home. Fearful he would receive the kind of reception his brother eventually gave him and not at all expecting what his father lavished on him. I know those thoughts too well.

It is times like this when God’s forgiveness or anyone else’s forgiveness is too extravagant to grasp or hope for. When the sin stains seem too numerous and the reputation too damaged. When the stench of our sin nature still lingers in the air.

Today will be a day of learning how to not only ask for forgiveness but how to receive it. How to feel safe in it. How to feel cleansed and refreshed by it. How to sense everything is okay once again. That is what I am in need of and that is what I seek.

Father, when You see the sins of my heart and actions I cringe. But when others see those things I cower. Restore to me the joy of my salvation within the corridors of forgiveness. Amen.

What Sin? - Morgan Cryar
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3Wdzzx6-f4

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

If We But Ask

My God in His loving kindness will meet me; God will let me look triumphantly upon my foes. Psalm 59:10　(New American Standard Bible)

When emotions take a nose dive and our faith takes a blow, it seems that our quickest response is a desire for release and a helping hand out of the proverbial pit. Our prayers become pleas for a return to stronger moments. I have a number of “life preservers” that I attempt to grab hold of when storms come my way on the sea of life. A phone call to a trusted friend, a truth filled book, soul enriching music, solitude, Bible reading, or extra rest seem to be my first options for a return to spiritual strength and fortitude. They use to work so well…so why not recently?

I have spent the past 48 hours searching for some answers. Trying to find that one “thing” that would cast some light on the darkness that had settled over me. I wanted the cloud gone. I wanted the gloom to vanish. I wanted to regain a sense of well being. In the end, I couldn’t pick up the phone and books, music, and rest did very little to change my internal world. So my next recourse was to hunker down and wait it out, but that only filled me with additional fear and foreboding over how long the wait would be.

God’s answer? Invite Him into the place I was presently at. Ask Him to meet me in my abode of failure, weakness, turmoil, tears, discouragement, and restlessness. “Meet me, Lord, in this place I find myself,” became my prayer, and His response was to meet me with loving kindness. He was the One I needed to sit with me, hold me, and comfort me. It sounds so simple when I see it written out yet it was profound. What I could not discard on my own, simply left as He entered and met with me.

He did more than lift my mood. He handed me a key to use in the future whenever needed. Inviting Him into a place will expel what should not be there. Will friends, books, and music still minister to me? In many respects, yes, but I hope to come to the place more and more whereby I ask God to meet me.

Father, You came. I noticed Your presence and all it affected. Thank you! Amen.

He Knows My Name
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXsiWoyjw60

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Inseparable

You have dealt well with Your servant, O LORD, according to Your Word. Psalm 119:65 (New King James Version)

David’s relationship to God and His Word was incredible! Actually, they were inseparable to him and they should be the same for us. A right view of God will entail a right view of His Word. Struggle with one and you will struggle with the other. I speak from experience. When my view of God was that He was a harsh Judge, I viewed the Bible a harsh book! When I felt God was unapproachable, I rarely opened His Word. When I sensed that God merely tolerated me more than loved me, Scripture appeared to house more condemnation than encouragement. The two were so meshed together in my mind that I kept both God and His Word at arms length. I can attest to the fact that it was not a good way to live my Christian life! God offered me a better path to walk. He opened my eyes to the truth about Himself and the truth about His Word. It didn’t happen over night and I am still in the process of new discoveries DAILY, but with David I now proclaim, “You have dealt well with Your servant, O LORD!”

As I read through Psalm 119:65-80 I couldn’t help but take in David’s delight of God and His Word. His view of God was such that he gushed with adoration. He proclaimed that God was good and did good, that He was his Creator, that He was right and faithful, that He was merciful and kind, and that He was full of tender mercies. These were statements made in the midst of affliction not merely reserved for when life was going well. David knew the necessity of defining God by the truth not by the events of his life. He saw the benefit of reviewing the truth about God especially when walking through difficult moments as a result of his own sinful choices or those of other people.

Hence, David’s relationship with God’s Word was one of belief in , obedience to, passion about, delight in , hunger for , learning from, hoping in, and meditation upon. He knew that Scripture was God-breathed and he wanted to be filled and influenced by that breath! This is astounding when I consider how little of the Bible was even written and available during David’s life time. Could it be he was speaking of both God’s written Word as well as the words God spoke to him individually? The words of comfort, encouragement, correction, and direction. I would like to think so, for David is my example of what it is like to house oneself between the Word of God and the God of the Word. What a precious place! If this is not you today, ask God to make it so. Tell Him the truth of where you are at in relation to Himself and His Word. Ask Him to show you His heart in Scripture and watch it come alive. It’s not too late for Him to bring about the necessary changes in you and in your view of Him. I pray so!

Father, You cannot be separated from Your Word and I cannot be separated from You. What a trio! Amen.

Word of God Speak - Mercy Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JK_6osCH74

Choosing to Stay

But if the slave plainly says, 'I love my master, my wife and my children; I will not go out as a free man,' then his master shall bring him to God, then he shall bring him to the door or the doorpost. And his master shall pierce his ear with an awl; and he shall serve him permanently. Exodus 21:5, 6　(New American Standard Bible)

Why would a slave choose permanent slavery over complete freedom? The love for his master, wife, and children out weighed his desire for liberation. When placed in this context it is understandable and even admirable. Yet, this morning, God is bringing to the forefront two phrases that He wants me to see…..”I will not go out as a free man……he shall serve him permanently.” Why those two phrases? Because I asked Him to show me a biblical example of what I am presently doing in regards to addictions in my own life. Something in me hesitates to ‘go out free’. To completely let go. Just the thought of it sends a ripple of fear throughout my internal world. It is not the picture of this person who chooses to stay a slave out of love, but rather it is a picture of the two and a half tribes who halted, hesitated, and refused to take up residence in the Promise land of God’s choosing.

I wept through a couple episodes of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew late last night. As I saw the hold of alcohol and drug addiction on the residents and listened to Dr. Drew explain the signs of addiction and those things that were necessary to bring about change, my own personal addictions stared me in the face. I come from a family of addicts….both alcohol and drugs. Neither one had a pull on me and yet I find myself addicted to my own food and relationship choices.

I cringe at the fact that I still make things available for myself. I choose to hold on and remain rather than making a permanent decision to let go and live in freedom. Suddenly, I can relate with the alcoholic who keeps a bottle stashed away in a secret place, the drug addict who has a ‘fix’ available should the need arise, the wife who keeps in touch with the abusive husband, the sex addict who still has the porn site housed on his favorites list of his computer, etc….. Whether or not they return to that which keeps them in bondage isn’t my point as much as the fact that those things still represent a form of security to them. I understand the over whelming fear at the thought of giving something up once and for all because that same fear keeps me within reach of my own addiction choices.

Letting go for me will require a change of heart as well as change of mind. I have a heavenly Father who is well aware of every aspect of my bondage and what it will take for me to break free. May all the mental rehearsing I am doing give way to His invitation for a new life.

Father, You know me through and through. Don’t let my place of bondage be a permanent place for me. Amen.

Painting Pictures of Egypt - Sara Groves
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcIA4Cnj6j4

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

There's Much More to Come

Amaziah said to the man of God, "But what shall we do for the hundred talents which I have given to the troops of Israel?" And the man of God answered, "The LORD has much more to give you than this." 2 Chronicles 25:9　(New American Standard Bible)

When Amaziah was told to send away 100,000 soldiers he had hired to help him in battle, he not only saw it as a loss of security but a financial loss as well. He could only see things from his perspective until God gave him a word of promise, “The LORD has much more to give you than this.” Oh, that we would hear those words whispered over our own situations.

Six years ago this month, I attended a women’s conference that God used as a catalyst for change in my Christian life. I had been a Christian for just over three decades and yet the truth that God’s love was not dependent on what I was doing was enough to start me on a journey that continues to this day. As life changing as that was, the LORD had much more to give me.

When a mentoring relationship began and subsequently ended, I experienced the epitome of delight and devastation within a two year span. I walked with an emotional and spiritual limp for a number of years that followed and yet God continued to whisper His promise to me of having much more to give me.

With each relationship, each opportunity, each victory, and each failure God continues to make the same promise. He has more people for me to meet, more places of service to fill, more growth to experience, more strength, more forgiveness, more grace, more peace, more joy, more comfort, and not just more but MUCH more.

I am coming to see that as long as I live in this world there will always be much more available and given to me by my Father. I cannot exhaust His supply or diminish His heart of love. It is His words of “much more” that continue to teach me to hold on loosely to tangible things and to live with anticipation and expectation whenever He says it is time to let go.

I don’t know what the next six years hold for me but I do know this, for every tear there will be comfort, for every decision there will be direction, for every need there will be supply, for every loss there will be gain, for every step there will be light, and for every day there will be God holding and helping me. Indeed, He has more…..much more.

Father, for all the much mores that lie ahead, I thank You and I praise You. As I take You at Your Word I am indeed the recipient of much! Amen.

With All I Am - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMrAafe7Mns

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Setting My Hope

Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us. 2 Corinthians 1:9, 10 (New International Version)

There are times when God brings us into situations and circumstances, allows things to happen, and directs our steps in such a way as to show us our need for Him to deliver us. These are not the times to muster up strength and courage on our own. These are not the times to rely upon our own ingenuities, abilities, or creativity. These are not the times to rely upon others to set us free. When all hope in ourselves and in others finally dies, we are then in a position to finally set our hope on the only One who can truly set us free.

For too many years in my Christian life I have attempted to either set myself free of habits, addictions, and mindsets, or I have looked to others to do it for me. I can tell you now THAT is a hard way to live your life. It leaves you depleted, discouraged, and dismayed. It attempts to make people the sources they were never intended to be. Until I see God as my hope and my deliverer I will continue to live in bondage to one thing or another. Bondage to my emotions, bondage to my addictions, bondage to my longings, bondage to my needs, bondage to my idols.

Last week I came to the bottom. I was spiritually and emotionally spent. I begged for assurance from those who loved and cared for me. I asked for prayer from those whom I knew would pray. I feared that things could and would never be different for me. I knew in myself I did not possess the hope to change myself. I quickly saw that others also did not. What happened? I became acutely aware that there was still hope in Christ. That anything that was holding me captive was no match for Him.

That hope sparked in me a readiness and willingness to finally set my sites and hope on the One who was waiting all along. The realization that He is my Deliverer, my Satisfier, my Security, my Source, and my Sustainer began to set things in motion. It took the responsibility for my freedom off my shoulders and off the shoulders of those I had been looking to and placed it squarely on the only shoulders capable of sustaining such responsibilities. Learning to be consumed and obsessed with God rather than with myself or others is new for me. The battles are not over but I enter the battlefield changed.

Father, I could weep for the joy of experiencing what it means to set my hope on You. Amen.

Knowing You, Jesus - Robin Mark
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGbuz8QuhmE

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.