It's a Choice

Let us discern for ourselves what is right; let us learn together what is good. Job 34:4 (New International Version)

If I had to put my most recent God-taught lesson into one simple phrase it would be this, “I have a choice.” I have recently experienced the rewards, benefits, healing, and blessing of making right choices and I have many memories of the painful consequences that are forthcoming when I make the wrong choices. The truth of the matter is that for years I was blind to the options. While some people have faltered in the area of morality, responsibility, addictions, or legal issues, my struggle has been with emotions and feelings. What has ruled me for so many years is becoming a targeted area for freedom by my Abba Father.

While there are numerous examples I could give, my attention is being drawn to one this morning. God is revealing to me my tendency to follow patterns of thought and behavior….particularly when it comes to disappointment. It is in times when people are not able to give me what I want or plans have been interrupted or changed that certain feelings surface. Up until recently I wasn’t sure what to do with the feelings. While I would condemn myself for having them I quickly chose to simply bury them and go into a withdrawal mode. Relationships would suffer as I curled up into a ball of hurt, anger, and pity. My focus was off and as a result I was imprisoned in a damaging cycle of emotions. Praise God that is not the end of the story!

After months of a friend’s counsel and input, I decided to test a truth she had shared with me. I decided to accept the fact that the problem was not in what was happening but rather in my interpretation and resulting feelings. “What am I feeling at this moment” became my soul searching question. Events and situations are usually triggering emotions from painful memories. As I allow God to help me identify the feelings and we work together to go back to the early introductions of those feelings, I am then able to release them to Him and stop the cycle I have become accustomed to living out. I have stood open mouthed with amazement that I have this option and that it works! I have seen the power in this process and experienced freedom beyond my wildest imaginations.

I have crossed a bridge of choice and proceed to burn that bridge behind me as a way of not returning to an old way of living. My emotions and feelings have ruled and fooled me for far too many years. Choice and truth are what God is using to set me free and I am embracing them both!

Father, I marvel that I went so long unaware of choice. But I marvel even more at the freedom that is coming through You! Amen.