Becoming Willing

For thus the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, has said, “In repentance and rest you will be saved, in quietness and trust is your strength.” But you were not willing. Isaiah 30:15 (New American Standard Bible)

God knows us thoroughly and will go to any length to bring us to the place He most desires for us to be. Yet, it is easy to misunderstand where He is leading and what He is doing. Many times, He must walk us through numerous issues and places to finally get us to the “starting” point of His desire.

Several years ago when I began this journey I had my own idea of what God was doing. I thought it was all about learning the truth about God and learning the truth about myself, realizing my freedoms in Christ, tearing down the denominational walls as well as the versions of the Bible walls, seeing His Word come alive and practical, eventually writing devotionals, and sharing with others the things God was teaching me. Did those things happen? Absolutely! Were they exciting to experience? Yes! Did they happen over night? Not at all! Have they reshaped and drastically changed the way I live my Christian life? Definitely! At the same time, they were simply the preliminary parts of God’s longing for me. God’s purpose ran much deeper than merely the dynamics of my internal and external life.

I am just now beginning to see that God wants to bring me to the place of living in repentance, rest, quietness, and trust with Him. To seek Him for confidence and comfort. The learn to embrace my emotions in His presence instead of seeking to deny them, anesthetize them, or ignore them. To not allow aloneness to cause me to feel separated from Him. To prefer to spend time with Him more than with anyone else.

I am picturing myself in a large mansion. Many of the rooms are filled with people, things, opportunities, or treasures. One room is where God alone waits for me. As I review my life I see how often I have bi-passed that room for all the others. Those have been my “you were not willing” moments. It is now that I have finally reached for the door knob, stepped inside, and come face to face with the One who will help me to walk intimately with Himself. He is assuring me I am safe, known, and loved. Others have been in this room with Him and their lives attest to the fact that it made all the difference in the world. I long to receive what they received and have that be my central focal point.

Father, You are calling me to a deeper place with Yourself. No human guides will be used at this time. It is just You and me. Amidst the uncertainties and insecurities are hope and anticipation. I come and I bow. Amen.