Pendulum Living

Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. James 1:17 (New American Standard Bible)

A conversation with a friend last night brought a mentality to the surface. I call it the “pendulum” mentality. The enemy of our soul is good at attempting to get us to swing from one extreme to another. I never bought into his lie that I had to earn my way to Heaven but once I accepted Christ I lived with the idea that I could somehow earn God’s love and favor if I just worked hard enough. My Christian life was revolutionized the day I realized God’s love is NOT dependent on what I do. Since that time, God has continued to show me areas in my life that are affected by a pendulum mentality.

It usually comes about when I have seen victory in an area and because I don’t want to re-enter a place of bondage I go to the other extreme. Like the person who conquers over eating only to begin starving herself, I have seen myself struggle to have a healthy balance between extremes. Emotional dependency can be replaced with the thought that I will live independent of others. This means not asking questions, not seeking advice, not letting any needs known, not fully enjoying the people God has placed in my life, and not receiving their gift of friendship or giving them mine. It is a desert island experience God is not calling me to but the enemy is inviting me to.

God is gradually slowing down the swing of the pendulum and He is using many factors to do it. For one He is using His Word and letting me see how often He crossed the paths of people with significant individuals. Sometimes the relationship lasted a life time and sometimes it was for a specific season. He is also giving me “safe” people with whom to interact. They are encouraging, truth tellers to me without condemning and judging me. They know how to lovingly redirect my thinking if I begin heading in the wrong direction. They see the work God is doing in my life and cheer me on as growth is evident. These things run both ways as they allow me to encourage them.

So how do I keep these precious relationships from becoming unhealthy attachments? I keep in mind that God is my primary Source for all things. I make sure I connect with Him on a daily basis and live out of that connection. I learn to give and receive the gift of friendship in the context of what God meant it to be. I am free to embrace God’s gifts to me but am not free to idolize them. God must be the central focus of my life. The healthier my relationship is with God, the more balanced my relationship will be with people. As I live out of this truth, the “high wire” under my feet becomes wider and wider. For any who seek to find a balance in certain areas of their life, I invite you to ask God to show you that balance and watch as He moves Heaven and Earth of do so. He longs to show each of us life is not meant to be an “all or nothing” experience!

Father, none of this has surprised You. You know the balance You have called me to and will eventually help me to fully live in it. Amen.