Knowing What to Forgive

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13 (New International Version)

Last month, a study group I am involved in, discussed the study we would like to do when we are finished with the one we are presently doing. We had a number of topics to choose from and the leading choice seemed to be in the area of forgiveness. At the time, I wasn’t sure why that topic stood out to me but I am beginning to see God’s hand in my leaning toward it.

I am presently pondering an area in my life that requires forgiveness on my part. What makes this step of obedience so difficult is that I am not exactly sure what I am forgiving the person for. While I know that I still harbor hurt and disappointment, I cannot seem to put my finger on what I am holding against this person. The fact that I can still be easily brought to tears over her decisions and actions reveals to me an internal need of releasing it all through forgiveness.

God knows the exact nature of my thoughts and feelings, and He also knows where I stand in confusion and uncertainty. This is not a time for easy words and general statements. I need to know what I am forgiving in order for it to bring about the freedom I crave. It is the key that will unlock the chains that still bind my spirit and limit my capacity to live life to the fullest.

It has taken me a while to even recognize the fact that I am walking in unforgiveness. Now that I recognize it I want to take care of it. Some would say, “Just do it.” But within the deepest aspects of my mind and heart I know there has to be a clearer picture of what I need to “just do.” I want to know what the forgiveness means and what it looks like. I want to forgive with knowledge and abandon. This has nothing to do with the other person as she is not even aware that this battle rages within me. This has to do with release and obedience on my part. It has to do with living my life in accord with the pattern Jesus set for me. His ways are higher than my own and He is calling me to come higher with Him.

Father, thank you for continually calling me to do the things that can only be done through You. I admit my need for understanding. Amen.

Mercy Said No - CECE WINANS
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Z_SjhKJgqGg&feature=related

Pain is the raw material from which can be made a soul increasingly sensitive to the existence of God's love. ~ John Woolley