Where It Comes From

And the LORD said to Gideon, “The people who are with you are too many for Me to give the Midianites into their hands, lest Israel claim glory for itself against Me, saying, ‘My own hand has saved me.’ Judges 7:2 (New King James Version)

The reduction of Gideon’s army was for one purpose and one purpose only, to display Who was truly responsible for the forthcoming victory. God’s glory and the credit due Him can often be robbed when anyone but Him is seen as one’s helper, defender, deliverer, and sustainer. While He did use a small army for the battle against Midian, He made sure there was no way they would be able to give themselves the praise, thanks, or accolades for the victorious outcome. It may not have made sense to anyone but God but it was the only way for the people to see where their victory came from and Who gave them the victory. The impossibility of it was the backdrop for God’s work.

I can relate with God’s choice of methods when it comes to deliverance in my own life. This past week I have watched as God did in me what no one or nothing else could do. The domination of my emotions could not be experienced through reading books, talking to people, or following formulas. I could not muster up what it would take to walk in any semblance of freedom for an extended period of time. When I came to the end of myself and realized that all the avenues I “thought” would lead me to victory had failed to produce victory He brought the victory. It was so radical and so profound that I had no doubt it was His work of liberation.

He used some truths I had taken in from a number of sources and circumstances and I was aware of those things. But the result of actually experiencing freedom was all His doing and I am having no trouble giving Him the glory for it! He did not take negative emotions out of me nor did He remove the tendency I have toward wrong perceptions. What He did is show me that it is possible to not allow them to dominate and control me. They seem to have lost their effectiveness and power with me. Several scenarios played out this past weekend that would have normally evoked huge set backs for me without a single trigger taking place. I was able to take in the truth of each matter without the normal emotional feelings and responses getting in the way. Any who battle emotions will see why this is so huge for me! Any who have watched me struggle will rejoice along with me at what my God has done. I know that tests will come and failures will be experienced, but I now walk with confidence in the what God can and will do!

Father, You are incredible! Even in the midst of my own failures, fears, and doubts You brought about what seemed impossible for me. Praise You!!! Amen.

Mighty to Save - Laura Story
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYqogpLpC5Q

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Deliverance

“They will fight against you, but they shall not prevail against you. For I am with you,” says the LORD, “to deliver you.” Jeremiah 1:19 (New King James Version)

God’s words to Jeremiah were meant for our ears as well. God was letting Jeremiah know that even though others would oppose him they would not prevail. They would not come out as the victors. Deliverance was promised to him and it is promised to us as well.

What is it that fights against you today and has you convinced it will pull you under never to rise again? Slip it into this verse and then speak the words out loud as a declaration of truth. At this time in my life, that which fights against me is not a foreign nation, financial ruin, failing health, legal problems, or a host of other outside influences. For me, each day, that which fights against me are my own thoughts. At times they can be so ominous and foreboding. They seem to over ride every truth I know. When that happens I feel they have won. But God knows better. He has already promised me the victory.

This week has been precious with truth. I sent out a devotional on Tuesday that spoke of not viewing other’s limitations or boundaries as a sign of rejection. I KNEW the minute the truth sunk in that my otherwise predominantly, harmful thought life took a massive blow. It changed the dynamics of every relationship I have.

The loss of a mentor and the accompanying thoughts from that loss have fought against me for several years. It was this week that I understood the need to allow my former mentor the freedom to choose whether or not to be in relationship with me. Voicing that truth to a friend gave another blow to my thought process.

Am I saying the fight in these two areas is completely over? No. That will not be experienced until I am in Heaven. What I am saying is the battle took a turn in my favor and I intuitively know what to do in future times of struggle. I am trusting God to give me further “wins” in other areas of my life that tend to trip me up. Jeremiah 1:19 is now my life verse and I am ready to stand on and in its truths.

Father, thank you for reminding me that I need never give up. The battle is Yours as is the victory! Amen.

The Battle Belongs to the Lord - Maranatha Singers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qp_PolBwjEw

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Focus and Follow

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1,2 (New King James Version)

I can so easily hold on to the weights and sin that ensnare me and hinder progress. I can also stop running and allow my attention and energies to be directed toward something or someone other than Jesus. He is not only the author and finisher of my faith, but He is the example of my faith. Focus on Him and follow Him are the imperatives for my life. As I do that I will more readily detect the ruts and pitfalls of the path I walk.

Most of the time, it is my mindset and what I choose to dwell upon that causes me the most discouragement, difficulty, and defeat. If I do not purposefully align myself with truth and resist the temptation to think on harmful thoughts, I run into trouble rather than run with endurance. For me, early detection and taking appropriate action are the keys to victory. All it takes is one unguarded, unchallenged thought to slow my progress and get me off course. I cannot afford to allow access to any thought that would distract or destroy me. It has happened recently and it will happen today if I do not heed the warning and advice of today’s passage.

There are things I need to be free of and things I need to be focused on in order to run the race well. It was not an easy race for Jesus and it will certainly not be an easy race for me. There will be things to endure and things to despise but I must keep the goals ever before me. The joy of knowing those goals will one day be realize is what is meant to carry me through each day.

What are those goals? Being transformed into the image of Christ. Knowing God. Complete freedom in areas I battle. Eventually, Heaven. This is a journey of progress and each day affords me numerous opportunities to gain insight, wisdom, discernment, and correction. Complete perfection will not be mine until I am in Heaven, but that does not mean there will be no incredible victories here on Earth. Each day brings me that much closer to those victories. My mantra must be, “Eyes on Him!”

Father, keep teaching me the discipline of focusing on You. Help me to see the distractions early on and to walk in determined victory amidst those distractions. Amen.

Healer - Kari Jobe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvIEJ_PmqJ8&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Without Warning

Then Pharaoh took off his signet ring from his hand and put it on Joseph’s hand, and clothed him in garments of fine linen and put the gold necklace around his neck. He had him ride in his second chariot; and they proclaimed before him, “Bow the knee!” And he set him over all the land of Egypt. Genesis 41:42, 43 (New American Standard Bible)

Joseph’s life-changing promotion came without announcement or anticipation. There is no hint in Scripture that Joseph knew THAT morning that he would go from dwelling in a prison to being set over the land of Egypt. No idea that he would exchange prison clothes for a signet ring, fine linen garments, and a gold chain. No thought that he would go from walking prison corridors to riding in Pharaoh’s second chariot through the streets of Egypt. Sure he had being given vivid dreams as a youth, but he was unaware how those dreams would begin to transpire when he woke up THAT morning. Joseph had experienced promotions and demotions several times in his 13 years in Egypt but each was merely setting the stage for God’s grand design!

Bible character after Bible character experienced this same thing. God’s intervention in their particular situation often came without warning and yet when it came, events changed dramatically and quickly. Every healing, every deliverance, every advancement, every move, every supply, every successful battle, every miracle came on a day no one realized it would come. Oh the joy when they were witnesses to it all!

This morning I am looking back over my life and realizing the same is true for me. My own life changing moments came without warning but they were right on time in God’s sovereign plan. Sometimes it happens and I am not fully aware a change has taken place until I have walked a few days in the change. At other times I KNOW something has happened that will forever be life altering. This truth gives me hope when I face difficulties, see areas of personal bondage, long for change in my internal world. I stand in anticipation that on any given day I could wake up to a day that will include freedom and wholeness in areas that for now are still a part of my life. As long as I live on this earth, I have days ahead that will include God’s intervention in my life. So do you! I rejoice ahead of time in all that God still plans to do in each of our lives.

Father, this may be a day of continued learning and preparation or it may be a day of deliverance. Either way, I choose to take hold of Your hand and trust you! Amen.

In His Time - Maranatha Singers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGAGUNFVGsY

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Finding My Way Back

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life]. Proverbs 18:21 (Amplified Bible)

If the power of life and death are in the tongue, surely the engine for that power is our mind. The words we choose to use and indulge in are cooked in the kitchen of our thoughts. What we speak and what we think on are vital and result in life or death to our spirit, our circumstances, our outlook, and our internal world.

I’ve seen first hand the killing effect of wrong thoughts and wrong words. My mind gets clouded with negative, hopeless thoughts and the longer I indulge those thoughts the more powerful their grip is. Afterwards I find it hard to believe how dark it gets. I cannot see any positive aspect of my walk with God and that sends me into a place of fear. Fear that all is lost. Fear that the journey I have been on is leading to a dead end. Fear that connection with God is not a reality for me. Fear that I am no better off than I was in the throws of legalism. Fear that I will never get it right or keep it right.

When it passes and I prepare for a new day, I look back on the darkness and I pick out the valuable jewels of truth that are available to me. One truth is that what I choose to think on and accept as believable is what will dim the light in me and cause all to seem dark and lost. I cannot afford to think on what will bring about death to my feelings, emotions, and spirit. When I do I pay a price and the price is enormous. Another truth is that even in my darkness God still has His eye and hand on me. He does not step away during my times of struggle. He does not roll His eyes and say, “Here we go again!” Instead, He begins to woo me back to Himself with full confidence that I will once again find Him. Another truth is that returning to a place of safety with Him is always possible. He does not force me to stay any longer in the darkness than I am willing to stay. It always astounds me that while entering a dark time can be gradual, coming out of it can be so instantaneous.

I cannot get back the time I’ve lost when I lived without the peace and joy God always desires for me. I am, though, the richer for it because of the lessons I have learned. Today I choose to live under the canopy of His love and grace rather than the cloud of regret over past choices.

Father, sometimes it gets dark but You lead me back into the light of Your presence. You calm my fears and settle my heart. I feel the hold You have on me and within that hold I am safe. Amen.

The Protector of My Soul - Maranatha Singers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRyPKdHmwB0

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

A Fox Hunt

Catch us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vines, for our vines have tender grapes. Song of Solomon 2:15 (New King James Version)

I am on a “fox” hunt and those “foxes” are the attitudes of my heart. For most of my adult life, I have blamed many of my personal weaknesses and failures on my upbringing. The scenario would go something like this: I had alcoholic parents and their alcoholism left holes in my heart. Unmet emotional needs sent me on a quest to get those needs met through relationships. Looking to people to give me what only God could give me was a means of survival.

Several years ago I came across the term “emotional dependency” and it became my garment of choice. It was the label I could apply to my life and therefore allow it to define and confine me. It seemed to explain my behavior and the choices that drove the behavior. It also filled me with shame and wreaked havoc on numerous relationships.

While the actions of my parents did have an effect on me and emotional dependency is a personal struggle for me, those are not the foxes that I need to become aware of and catch. Change will come for me only as I take personal responsibility rather than find something or someone to blame for my actions and behavior.

Although I know Christ as my Savior and His Spirit lives in me, I still possess a sin nature and fleshly tendencies. Spiraling moods are just one of the outgrowths of that nature. Until recently, when a shift would take place I went down! Now I am learning that there is a different way to live. Instead of giving in to the mood swing I am beginning to pinpoint the thoughts and feelings that are giving momentum to the mood swing. I am learning to ask myself, “What are you feeling right now?” The answer will identify the fox that needs to be caught and stopped. Yesterday’s foxes included jealousy, fear, feelings of insignificance, shame, and wrong perceptions. As I would identify the heart issue I could then focus my prayer on it. I could confess the jealousy and ask God to help me have an attitude of thankfulness and contentment. If it was fear, I could acknowledge that He is always with me. Insignificance could be met with reviewing the truth of who I am in Christ. Shame would retreat at the flood lights of forgiveness and acceptance. Wrong perceptions could be defeated with truth.

What was actually happening was that I was finally seeing the real enemy within myself and calling each attitude out in the open. I use to feel defeated because the attitudes were still in me. Now I taking a victor’s stance against them and that is changing the vineyard of my heart. It is taking prayer, the use of Scripture, and God’s help to see progress in this area. The fight is on!

Father, shed light on each heart attitude that seeks dominance over me today. Help me to acknowledge what is there at all times. Help me to walk in victory. Amen.

Change My Heart, Oh God - Eddie Espinosa
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEtsHWFE6-w

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

A Private vs. Public Display

Whenever you fast, do not put on a gloomy face as the hypocrites do, for they neglect their appearance so that they will be noticed by men when they are fasting. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face so that your fasting will not be noticed by men, but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. Matthew 6:16-18 (New American Standard Bible)

The Pharisees of Jesus’ day wanted to be seen and noticed by others. Matthew 6 gives three instances where their public performance was exposed. Their righteous acts, benevolence toward the poor, and fasting were on display for all to see….they made sure of it. Sometimes it was with trumpets and fanfare. Sometimes it was with their countenance and appearance. Something in them needed the attention. Something in them needed others to know what they were doing. What should have been private acts and known only to God and themselves became the drama on their stage of life.

Yesterday, I asked God about my own tendencies toward public displays. I asked Him why it was that I often need others to know when I am struggling with emotional issues….to know I am sad, fearful, or distraught. It is not that I necessarily tell them with my words as much as show them with a gloomy face, slumped shoulders, and noticeable silence. Something in me was choosing this route of behavior and putting a stop to it would not come without God’s revelation.

God proceeded to take me down a trail of reasoning that astounded me. It went as such. I show the sadness so sympathy and attention from others will be evoked. It makes me feel cared for and loved. The need for what I deem as love drives my behavior. It is just one aspect of trying to fill the holes in my soul with what I can derive from others rather than what I can receive from my Father. Once I saw the reason, God graciously gave me a step of obedience to take in order to begin correcting my behavior. His words to me were, “Pam, you must begin practicing a disposition that does not let others know you are having a bad day. In your smile, voice, and body language you must display My joy and peace that resides in you. Those simple changes will be what I use to actually change your heart and mind. This is the beginning of you losing your bent toward living out of your neediness. Trust Me and obey.” With joy I am here to tell you that it works! I was amazed that when my face and voice changed it lead to internal changes. It is a kingdom principle I am seeing for the first time and I want to embrace it!

With that said, I do want to clarify that there are times when it is appropriate to show sadness. The loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, and true devastations of life are some of those times. The personal example I gave had more to do with showing sadness as a way to simply feed off the sympathy of others for the sake of emotions. Of THAT I seek to be free!

Father, I praise You for showing me the things I need to know. How I have lived my life up to this point is merely a shadow of how You would have me live it. Keep removing the hindrances to the abundant life! Amen.

There is Joy in the Lord - Cheri Keaggy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMhTFzzvIs4

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

My Deliverance Has Come

But You, O GOD, the Lord, deal kindly with me for Your name's sake; because Your lovingkindness is good, deliver me; for I am afflicted and needy, and my heart is wounded within me. Psalm 109:21, 22 (New American Standard Bible)

I rejoice when a present experience becomes a past position. Up until this week, I lived the poignant words of this Psalm….afflicted, needy, and wounded in heart. Wanting desperately to believe deliverance would be mine I had my doubts that I would see it in this life time. I wondered if I would ever be able to say God had delivered me from my pit of despair and sorrow. David testified of it all through Psalm 108. Others have tasted of the freedom that came with such deliverance. I could only view it as an outsider to the experience. When the people in my life tried to assure me that God would in fact deliver me and I would one day know the joy of such a deliverance I wanted to believe it was true but could not see it happening. The affliction, neediness, and wounding were too deep. Too painful. Too dark. Too much.

I have spent the past two years in a wilderness. During this time I have continued to go to church, read necessary books, seek godly counsel, listen to Christian music, write devotionals, pray, seek, and stay in the Word. But all the while the internal darkness abounded and the dependency issues prevailed. I spiraled in and out of emotional pits on a daily and weekly basis. I felt more like a failure than a success. I saw no way out and often resigned myself to the belief that things would never be different for me. That somehow I would spend the rest of my life this way.

I have never been so hopeless in my life and yet it was in this state of mind that God helped me to open my heart and hands to Him and He lovingly took what I thought would be housed in me until Heaven. When I finally saw that I truly needed no one but Him, when I finally desired Him to be the core and center of my life, when I finally fixed my eyes fully on Him I felt the effects of Psalm 107:13, 14 which says, “They cried out to the LORD in their trouble, He saved them out of their distresses. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death and broke their bands apart.” This week I was brought out of my darkness and the bands were broken!

I have now experienced God as my Deliverer. God did what I couldn’t do for myself. Now when I hear of other people’s problems, plights, and pain I can say with all confidence that the One who delivered me can and will deliver them also. It will be the platform on which I stand and minister from this day forward.

Father, I am in awe of You! Amen.

My Deliverer - Chris Tomlin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmGeeNDJzx0&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Unleashing the Truth

You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world. 1 John 4:4 (New American Standard Bible)

Scripture is meant to touch all areas of our life, but often we can limit its impact by limiting its interpretation. Many times I have read today’s verse and seen it as merely a reference to Christ versus Satan. Earlier today, however, God brought this verse to mind when I began battling some mindsets. He helped me see that if Christ (in me) is greater than Satan and his entire host of demon helpers, then He is also greater than any personal weaknesses and propensities I have in me. The very things that continue to trip me up and break me down are inferior to Him and His strength. I need that assurance lest I draw the conclusion that I will never see victory in certain areas of my life.

I want this to be more than truth making its way into my head. I want it to be truth that shapes my life and brings about change. Tonight I am very aware of an area in my life that needs to change and the uncomfortable part is that others are aware of it as well. A part of me wants to run, hide, and avoid any situation which will bring my weaknesses to the surface. The temptation is strong to be around others only on days when I am able to be strong physically, emotionally, and spiritually. After all, how can I be an encouragement to others if I walk in failure? Wouldn’t it be better to not be seen than to set a poor example?

As I pondered those ideas it didn’t take long for me to see that God wasn’t in them. His desire is for my freedom and growth not my disappearance and withdrawal. He knows that each failure simply stands as a reminder that there is still work to be done in me. He knows that my ability to fight will not be accomplished away from the battle. He also knows that stepping away is not the answer…stepping up to the plate is!

Tonight I choose to allow this verse to come alive in new ways to me. Yes, greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. But also, greater is He that is in me than all the other things that are in me. Greater is He that is in me than anything in me that leads to mistakes, failure, and wrong choices. Greater is He that is in me than every thing that attempts (and sometimes succeeds) to pull me in the wrong direction. Tonight I choose to let my failure serve as a reminder of the greatness of the One who lives in me.

Father, I marvel that You never seek to rid Yourself of me. You keep working. You keep molding. You keep cultivating. You keep staying. Forgive me and take me farther. Amen.

Greater Is He - Sparky Marco
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nqww8NgYpzI&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

What to do With My Perceptions

But consider now, and see how he is seeking a quarrel against me. 2 Kings 5:7 (New American Standard Bible)

The king of Israel voiced these words against the king of Syria upon receiving a letter requesting that he heal Naaman of leprosy. The letter was sent as a plea for help, not a declaration for war. Faced with an impossible task, the king of Israel feels his back is against the wall and he takes cover under a robe of suspicion and accusations. His perception has blinded him to the truth.

I know how he feels! For I too have misread another person’s intentions, actions, words, and expressions. I look back and am amazed at how quickly I have interpreted such things in a negative light toward myself and others. I assumed the worst, accepted the lie, and clothed myself in my own robe of suspicion and accusations. What I presumed to be an attack, a rejection, or abandonment became my reality and I pulled away in an attempt to not feel further hurt. It has caused me on numerous occasions to miss the blessings of relationships, the joy of living, and an internal world of peace. Until recently, I had no idea where this tendency came from. I knew it was there, I hated the effects, and I longed for freedom. God in His graciousness has begun to enlighten me on not only the root of my suspicions but the affective way to extinguish them.

First of all, He has helped me to see that into my relationships I carry wounds and negative messages about myself. I interpreted certain events in my life in ways that told me I was worthless, burdensome, and unlovable. Once the lies were embraced, I perceived that was what others thought of me as well. With each word, action, or event the old tapes would start to play in my head and I would embrace more lies. Although it was my own false perception, it was real to me. In most cases, this was always the scenario.

God’s solution? Admit I am not a mind reader. I am not God and therefore cannot possibly judge another person’s motives, intents, or thoughts. Know that the attacks are spiritual in nature. As with all attacks I must come against the spirit of accusation. I must renounce it and come against the effects it has on me. I must speak the truth about who I am in Christ instead of what I have come to believe about myself. Then instead of backing away from the person I must begin praying blessings and life over them. When these things take place the attack ends and I stand in a freedom and victory that has revolutionized the way I live my life. It works every time no matter the size of the incident. How I thank my heavenly Father for such insight into what has been such a predominant part of my life.

Father, You heard every negative word I voiced to myself when others never meant to hurt me. Forgive me for the judgments I made and the lies I embraced. I gladly trade the garments of suspicion and condemnation for robes of righteousness and freedom. Amen.

This is My Desire - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obi5ZGujiuU&feature=related

He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food. Job 36:16

The Promise of Accomplishment

The LORD will accomplish what concerns me; Your lovingkindness, O LORD, is everlasting; do not forsake the works of Your hands. Psalm 138:8 (New American Standard Bible)

There are times I mistakenly think the accomplishing of things in my life is left up to me. With enough grit, with enough determination, with enough self control, with enough discipline I can do it…or so I tell myself. But I have had to learn that the Christian life is not about self improvement. It is about God’s accomplishments in me. He is the One developing my character. He is the One molding me into the image of His Son. He is the One weakening and demolishing the strongholds of my heart. While I certainly must cooperate with Him, I must never forget He is the One doing the completing of my transformation.

He accomplishes His work in me through two avenues….His loving kindness and His persistence. Although His techniques may seem harsh at times, they are always driven by a heart of love. Though I may at times throw up my hands in despair and discouragement, He remains an ever present Help. Though the areas of change in my life may seem impossible to comprehend or realize, He knows the beginning from the end. He knows what He will use to change me and how long it will take. While I may continually realize, “I am not there yet,” God’s answer is always, “I am not finished yet.”

Last night, I met with a study group and we ended our study with a discussion about addictions and deliverance. I had one example of deliverance in my life I could attest to and it was a deliverance from the addiction to junk food. It wasn’t a matter of self control on my part but rather a transformation of my thinking and God setting me free from something that controlled me from youth up.

At the same time, I had to admit there are still areas in my life wherein I seek deliverance. I live with an internal frustration that those areas of weakness and addiction are still very much a part of me no matter how much I detest them. What I know is this. The same principles of deliverance in the area of eating are necessary for my other areas. Deliverance will come through the avenue of renewed thinking, acknowledging of the truth, and the over all work of God in my life. I cannot change myself but I can experience change as I go through the steps of metamorphosis that God designed for me. Today is not the end of my story. There is still much for God to redeem, renew, and restore in me. His potter’s wheel and His gentle hands still move to the beat of His own heart.

Father, I have grown impatient with the process and timing of Your work in me. Forgive me for doubting that You will indeed accomplish that which concerns me. I know in the end it will be astounding. Amen.

Kathy Troccoli sings "My Life Is In Your Hands"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlmYxZAgrGI

He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food. Job 36:16

Where Not to Put My Confidence

For we are the true circumcision, who worship in the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh. Philippians 3:3 (New American Standard Bible)

Coming to the end of ourselves and what we can do is often the beginning of allowing God to do what only He can do. He is not looking for us to pull ourselves up by our own boot straps, to fix ourselves, to change ourselves, or to mold ourselves. Our trust, reliance, and dependency upon Him delight Him because that is exactly where He wants us to be. When our confidence is in our own strength and ability it does not result in worship of Him or glory to Him. It results in a spirit of self sufficiency and pride. It also results in failure, disappointment, and emptiness.

I have come to understand that while I can change my behavior in certain areas of my life, I am helpless to change my heart. My heart is what drives my thoughts, emotions, and actions. Just as I did not give myself my own heart beat, the direction of my heart must continually be placed in God’s hands. He does the molding. He does the changing. He does the work.

I have succeeded in behavior modification before but because it was only about my behavior true and lasting change was not forthcoming. The inability to change my own heart drove me to my knees and on my face before my Creator God. He has astounded me with what He is able to accomplish.

God is using deliverance in one area of my life to confirm to me that deliverance in another area of my life will be forthcoming. While I cannot pinpoint the exact moment deliverance happened I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it did! The struggle in this particular area is non existent and I am infused with Jesus’ words that, “My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” He is letting me know that the same will be true in the other area that is still a struggle although progress has been made. In the first area, I am living in freedom and wholeness. In the second area, I am anticipating freedom and wholeness. Hope is alive as my confidence has shifted to the only One who can bring about the necessary changes. I must cooperate with Him but He will do the transforming.

Father, the changes that are coming from You and through You are profound and I give You the praise, credit, and worship for it. Amen.

MY LIFE IS IN YOU LORD!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0M0NALW7EM&feature=related

Promised Victory

A bruised reed He will not break, and smoking flax He will not quench, till He sends forth justice to victory; and in His name Gentiles will trust. Matthew 12:20, 21 (New King James Version)

There are times when I feel like a bruised reed (battered and shattered) but this morning I see two promises that speak life to me. God is not going to break me even in the weakest condition and victory is forthcoming. I need those words and embrace them for a new day.

I have witnessed victory in some areas of my life that I was sure would do me in. I have felt broken in the midst of disappointment, loss, and heartache. But I am here to tell you the victory did come and the it strengthened my hope for future victories. I am convinced there is not an area in my life that is a permanent condition….especially when it comes to heart issues and attitudes. When I see them, they stand as reminders that God will work. God will give the victory.

This past weekend, I attended a women’s conference entitled “From Brokenness to Blessedness.” The theme alone told me God had something in mind for me, so I made the decision to not invite anyone to go with me. I wanted to be unhindered and undistracted so that I could respond freely to whatever would happen. Little did I realize the work He was about to do in me. As the speakers talked, an issue I had been battling rose to the surface and I was reduced to tears….many tears. No sound, simply tears. Just as they would subside, a fresh flow would start. They seemed to be driven by a profound sadness….the very spirit of heaviness that had enveloped me for the past two years. It took Friday evening and Saturday morning for me to reach the place where I had completely drained myself of tears. What followed was an internal peace that had been eluding me. What made me sad all this time has not changed but the sadness is gone. Gone! It has been three days and I am proclaiming victory! This will forever be a spiritual marker in my life and one I will recall and recount often when future battles rage.

I share this to say, other issues I am dealing with are under the same death sentence as far as God is concerned. I don’t know what the deliverance will look like but I know it is coming….I have God’s Word on it and a past experience to treasure!

Father, I marvel at what You have done. You have not only delivered me from a spirit of heaviness, You have birthed hope within me. Help me see the victories that still await my realization. In the name of Jesus, amen!

Power of Your Love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ga6Qtxzd6vk&feature=related

If what you are reading is touching your spirit and increasing your thirst for God then you are one of the reasons I wrote it. I want to extend a personal invitation to you to join my email devotional family and allow me to send them to you directly! Simply send an email to shattuck7@sbcglobal.net and request to be added to my devotional list. It would be my honor and privilege to do so.

When There is None to Help

Be not far from me, for trouble is near; for there is none to help. Psalm 22:11 (New American Standard Bible)

For any who have looked in places or to sources other than God, these words will eventually be their own. There are so many verses in the Psalms in which David is expressing the thoughts of my own heart. His cries for deliverance and help, his hunger for God, his feelings of loneliness and distress, his fears and insecurities, and his realization that God is his refuge and strength. Often are the times I relate with him!

People can do a lot of things for me. They can cheer me up, encourage me, walk with me through issues, comfort me, pray for me, advise me, draw my attention back toward God, and just be there for me. But I am coming to realize what they cannot do is deliver me from the troubles of life or the turmoils of my internal world.

There are 367 verses in the Old Testament alone that speak of deliverance. Most refer to deliverance from troubles, enemies, sin, or weaknesses. In those cases, it is God who is doing the delivering or being asked to do the delivering. For they saw what we need to see….God is the only true Helper and Deliverer! Thinking we can do it ourselves or that we can find someone to do it for us will eventually lead to disappointment and discouragement.

That use to bother me but any more it becomes a life lesson to me because it brings me back to the truth that God is the One I need. David said it this way many times, “You, O Lord, are my Rock, my Fortress, my Deliverer, my Strength, my Helper, my Healer, my Redeemer, my Hiding Place, my Shelter, my Restorer, my Protector, my Counselor, my Guide, my Instructor, my Stronghold, my Defense, my God…..my All in all!” Within any situation or circumstance, that list needs to become my personal mantra. No one else’s name can or should be slipped into it! No one!

Once this becomes settled in my heart and mind, it will be easier for me to see the place people ARE suppose have. It will no longer be a “balancing act” for me to see when I should seek out the help and advice of others. For now, that still is not clear and I am looking to God teach me the truth. He alone knows what hinders and blocks me from being free in this area.

Father, David knew how to cry out to You for EVERYTHING! I want to live my life like that. Teach me and change me! Amen.

Proven to be Storm - Proofed

He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. Psalm 40:2 (King James Version)

To understand the completeness of God’s work in your life is to walk in its truth and see it result in victory in areas that use to send you reeling. Once God has brought you through a place of hardship, He wants to help you see that He has done a permanent work in you. Just as a house is not proven storm-proofed until it has weathered a storm, we are often taken through a “storm” to show that we are truly out of the pit and established in our goings. I found myself in one such moment of “proving” recently.

During the coarse of a recent lunch date, I was sharing with an individual how God had been setting me free in a particular area. The conversation turned to a discussion of the very thing God had delivered me from and as things were shared I could tell my “moment of truth” was about to be revealed. What she shared with me would have at one time sent me into an emotional tail spin of great proportion. I listened with baited breath as she let me know some things I had not been aware of regarding a mutual acquaintance. I knew I was in territory that would either bring me down or prove my deliverance. I wanted to hear what she was saying but at the same time I didn’t want any negative effects to come from it. What resulted was a time of sharing that didn’t lead to a negative consequence.

However, once the conversation was over I could tell the enemy was lurking in the shadows waiting to use against me what was said. That uneasy feeling began to be felt and I decided it was time to put into practice the very things I had been learning. I acknowledged the work of the enemy, renounced his interpretation of things, and proclaimed the truth. What was precious is that as I was voicing the truth, God began to bring Scripture to my mind that assured me He had in fact brought me up and established my goings. He had firmly set my feet on a rock and I was secure, fixed, and stable in Him. He had not only established my way, He had established me!

I cannot fully express what it means to me to embrace the magnitude of His work. After so many times of proclaiming early victories which were followed by failures that revealed the victories really hadn’t transpired, I find it hard to relax and rest in what He has now done. He understands my gun shy tendencies. He knows with each test I gain confidence in what He has done. I lift my hands in praise to the God who has never let go of me.

Father, I am at a place where I still need Your reminders that You really have freed me in this area. As often as the enemy brings the doubts You are bringing the truth! My uncertainties are giving way to amazement. Amen.

Owning His Words

Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble; He saved them out of their distresses. He sent His word and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions. Let them give thanks to the LORD for His loving kindness, and for His wonders to the sons of men! Psalm 107:19-21 (New American Standard Bible)

For any who have read my devotionals over the course of the last year or so, you have been aware of an ongoing battle in my life. While I have not given specific details it was quite apparent that I was struggling to possess victory in this area. My days were marked with guilt for failure, shame for a stronghold, frustration that freedom eluded me, and an endless trail of self effort and self reformation. I knew a lot of truth and shared it freely on a daily basis. But the bottom line was that I had yet to fully embrace that truth and see it change me at the very center of my being. To make matters worse, I had no idea why this was the case for me.

Yesterday, God showed me what I was missing all along. He made it clear to me that while I had cried out for His deliverance many times, I had failed to believe that He had done it! After my prayers were ended I would pick myself up and immediately work to bring about the change I so desired. My bondage was emotional dependency on others and I tried countless ways to over come it. I read books, I talked to friends, I sought professional counseling, I began attending meetings for Adult Children of Alcoholics, I listened to music, I rid my home of all the things that connected me to a significant person, and I finally bought into the lie that this is just the way I will always be and I must learn to guard myself in order to not form any future emotional ties to people. While I knew in my head that Jesus had come to set the captives free, I accepted the distorted version of truth that I would have to remain a prisoner.

That was the case until yesterday morning when God whispered to my spirit these words…”Pam, I have already healed you of your emotional dependency. I did it the moment you asked. But you have not claimed my healing and therefore have not been living out of it. Instead you have been living deceived. Receive what I have done and walk in the freedom that is yours.” The moment I embraced His words and acknowledged my healing, the power of emotional dependency was broken! I have finally come to own what was already mine and I have not stopped thanking God for it.

Father, thank you for each person who lifted me up in prayer and desired to see me walk in the truth and freedom they knew You offered. Having known the experience of being a captive makes me more appreciative of my freedom. I dance in delight of my deliverance. Amen.

In Pursuit of Us

And the LORD God prepared a gourd, and made it to come up over Jonah, that it might be a shadow over his head, to deliver him from his grief. So Jonah was exceeding glad of the gourd. Jonah 4:6 (King James Version)

Today was the first time I have ever read through the book of Jonah and saw God’s pursuit of him. God pursued him in his place of comfort. (chap. 1) He pursued him when he ran. (chap. 2) He pursued him when he repented. (chap. 3) And He pursued him when he retreated in anger. (chap. 4) That is the place of today’s verse. God meets him in his grief and ministers to him.

We so often think of God as One who leaves us in our time of rebellion and anger. And yet David writes in Psalm 139 that no matter where we go, God has us encircled, enclosed, and hemmed in with His right hand on us! The knowledge of that in its entirety was too much for David to fully grasp. Think of it! God remains ever present and ever personal no matter what! This is not to say He approves of our sinful choices or ignores our actions. He does not set aside the sowing and reaping principle nor does He simply ignore our behavior. That would not be loving or wise on His part. But He desires restoration and deliverance for us just as He did for Jonah.

This morning I am reviewing in my mind the many different places I have been where God was still pursuing me. He pursued me as a lost sinner in need of a Savior. He pursued me in my camps of performance and legalism. He pursued me in my pursuit of others. He pursued me in my repentance and brokenness. And presently He pursues me in a time of healing and restoration. Like David, I am unable to grasp the knowledge of it. But God doesn’t expect me to understand it all. He simply desires that I embrace this aspect of Him and live life as a recipient of His mercy, love, and grace. He has promised to finish the work He started in me and I marvel as I see Him doing just that! Undeserving but delighted by it!

As you read this, I don’t know where you are in your walk with Him. You may be closer to Him than you have ever been before or you may be farther from Him than you ever thought you would be. I don’t know which it is but I know this: God is pursuing you every step of the way! He has enclosed you and has His right hand on you if you are His child through faith in Christ. He is not leaving and He is not letting go. He has a vested interest in you! Delight in that truth and own it. Let it sink in!

Father, You have put me in awe once again. The best and worst of me has not distracted, dismayed, or discouraged You from pursuing and wooing me. I cannot wrap my mind around that truth but I open my heart to it! Amen.

In Christ Alone

Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ. I Corinthians 11:1 (King James Version)

Paul penned these words to the converts in Corinth, Ephesus, and Thessalonica. His goal was not to have people ultimately follow him but to point them to the One who could be their Savior, Deliverer, Healer, Friend, Comforter, and Companion….Jesus Christ. Paul set an example for them to follow which would eventually lead them into an intimate relationship with God through Christ. Today, we have many people in ministry who would voice his same words to new believers as well. People are being used of God to mentor and encourage young believers in their faith until they reach a point whereby they are completely reliant upon God and able to then become an encourager to someone else. It is a precious system God has used and honored many times.

I have been the recipient of such encouragers. For over three decades I have been blessed by several significant relationships that had the flavor of Paul’s words. God graciously brought women into my life who saw something in me that needed to be nurtured and cultivated. Out of love they invested themselves into my life. I would not be the person I am today without their influence. If that were the entire picture all would be well in my corner of the world. Unfortunately what they never fully saw and what I never fully understood was an un-addressed issue in my life.

My area of struggle had to do with emotional dependency (also known as soul ties and relational idolatry). This is the case of one who looks to people and relationships to receive a sense of love, acceptance, significance, identity, and attention. All deep needs are directed toward the significant person who becomes their HOPE of getting those needs met. The relationship is for the sole purpose of survival. While I knew something was not right in the way I related to and looked to the significant people in my life I was clueless as to why I did it and how I could be free from it!

I was forced to take a hard look at this issue when a mentoring relationship abruptly ended a year and a half ago. As I found myself recently heading into yet another dependency driven relationship, I became desperate for not only release from pain and captivity, but to experience God as my true Source for the meeting of all needs. When that became the cry of my heart, He graciously led me to freedom which is only found in Himself!

Some who do not struggle with this issue, might read what I have written and wonder what the big deal is. But to any who are in the stronghold of emotional dependency, I pray my words offer you the hope that freedom is available and possible for YOU! The two resources God used to show me my bondage and way to freedom were EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCY by Lori Rentzel and PLEASE DON’T SAY YOU NEED ME by Jan Silvious. To God be the glory for the writing of both and the effect they have had on my life. It is now my sincere desire to help point others to the only One who can and will set them free. That One is Jesus Christ!

Father, I cannot find the words to thank you fully for all You have done! I am free and I can’t get over the wonder of it! I praise You! Amen.

Staying Free

Of them the proverbs are true: “A dog returns to its vomit,” and, “A sow that is washed goes back to her wallowing in the mud.” 2 Peter 2:22 (New International Version)

What a vivid picture is painted with these words. As true as they are for dogs and pigs, they are more so for people. Experiencing freedom from bondage and sin is exhilarating, but oh the devastation to find oneself returning to the very thing you had been released from. The “vomit and mud” of our past can easily become part of our present if we allow it. For some, finding freedom may have taken years, but a return to the bondage can happen within minutes! Just one taste of what you begged God to free you from can entangle you once again. Whatever the addiction or sinful behavior was, is what we must continue to stand guard against and alert to. So how is that done? How do we “stand fast in the liberty in which Christ has made us free and not return to the bondage?” (Gal. 5:1) It necessitates seeing our enemy, our self, and our Source. Be AWARE!

Be aware that you have an enemy who knows you are free and desires nothing more than to allure you back into captivity. Just like the Egyptian army pursued the children of Israel with the intent on taking them back to Egypt and slavery, the enemy of your soul pursues you! You have won a battle for freedom but be assured there will be a war to fight in order to remain free. Satan is not going to just lie down and die. He is going to use every trick and tactic against you. He will use people, circumstances, weaknesses, temptations, counterfeits, and more to attempt to re-enslave you. Don’t give him what he wants. Always choose to stand and fight!

Be aware of your capability to return to bondage. James 1:14 says we are drawn away and enticed by our own lusts. That which first drew you into bondage still lives within you. Be aware of your areas of vulnerability and weakness. Set up limits for who or what you are involved. It will require the severing of unhealthy relationships and activities. Know the truth about your own sin nature and what you must avoid at all costs. Ask God to continually remind you of the pain you experienced that was used to birth in you a desire for freedom in the first place.

Be aware that your Source for continued freedom is Christ! Keep your eyes on Him and nurture yourself with the things that keep you close to Him. Feed on His Word, prayer, Christian fellowship, supplementary reading, inspiring music, and whatever else encourages your faith. Just as He set you free, He will keep you free as you cooperate with Him. Talk to Him, listen to Him, and yield to Him. He is passionate about you and your freedom!

Father, may I never forget the pain of bondage and the desire for freedom. Keep my passion for You foremost in my mind. May my bondage be to You alone! Captivate me with Yourself. Amen.

Hearing the Invitation

But I am poor and needy; yet the LORD thinks upon me. You are my help and my deliverer; do not delay, O my God. Psalm 40:17 (New King James Version)

My ability to see God as my help and deliverer begins with the realization of my neediness and bondage. Until I see the truth of my mindsets and internal world I will not see the necessity of allowing God to come to my aid. As long as I walk in independence of Him I will not be able to establish my dependence on Him. These truths became clear to me one morning as I journaled a note to myself and began to see the extent of my own neediness and God’s extravagant offer of fulfillment. What follows is a look into the first of many steps toward freedom for me. With tears and timidity I wrote:

You do not like feelings of loneliness and insignificance. When they come you seek to anesthetize them through contact with people. Although a phone call or good email will relieve you for a moment the feelings stay hidden in the shadows only to resurface a short time later. Let them be what draw you to God for comfort and company. Each can be an opportunity to cry out to Him for His filling and presence. God desires to fill you with an awareness of His deep love. You have yet to fully embrace that truth and live out of its experience. That is why you are still looking to other sources. All your desire for affection, attention, affirmation, encouragement, and security is legitimate but the way you go about attempting to receive it all is where the problem lies. Allow God to show you His availability and capability to be your All in All. Allow Him to be the One to nurture and protect you. Receive your true identity from Christ. This is not a matter of success versus failure. It is a process! You live in a fallen world and possess a fallen nature, therefore you will always be in need of Him. The deepest places in you need His touch. Open yourself up to receive all He longs to give you on a daily basis. Don’t feel that because you still experience these feelings and longings that you aren’t “getting it.” You have spent so many years looking to substitutes that looking to God needs to be learned and experienced. Whether it is every 5 minutes or every hour keep pressing in to Him. Keep looking to Him. Keep resting in Him. Let Him saturate your entire being so that relationships can be a joy rather than an attempt to get your needs met. Value the ones who are in your life at the present. Relate to them out of your relationship with your Father. You are precious in His sight and He will complete the work He has started in you. He is wooing you to Himself even now. Reach out and receive all that He extends to you. Accept His invitation to be completely loved by Him.

I had to ask myself, “How do I refuse an offer like that?” I am finding that not only does God extend such a radical invitation to me, He does amazing things when I dare to take Him up on it. As I am learning to look to Him for comfort and direction, I am able to let my friends off the hook for being primary need meeters in my life. To God be the glory because without Him THAT would never have happened.

Father, I never rested long enough to hear Your words of invitation to me. I now turn to You to find what no one else could supply for me. Amen.