Monday, April 19, 2010
What to do With the Jealousy
When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, "Give me children, or I'll die!" Genesis 30:1 (New International Version)
It comes as no surprise to me that jealousy ruled in the heart of Rachel. When it came time for her to marry Jacob, her sister was given to him in her place. Rachel became the ‘second’ wife. Although she had Jacob’s love, her sister bore the children and she was jealous of her. That jealousy robbed her of the realization of the things she did have and brought about a fierce competition of rivalry, bitterness, and manipulation. It would be all well and good if I could read this account in the Bible and not be able to relate with the jealousy aspect…but that is not the case. I relate with it all too well!
Jealousy is that inner rage that simmers when others have something I want or appear to threaten what I already have. It reveals my insecurities and makes another person my rival. It tells me I am not as loved or of as much value as them. If not admitted, confessed, and conquered it will lead me to behavior that is neither good or godly. In Rachel’s case it was her sister’s ability to bear children while she struggled with infertility. In my case, it is a host of things. When someone has a friend I long to have for myself or is given an opportunity I had hoped for or succeeds in an area I fail at or receives attention I am craving or possesses qualities and talents I can only dream about, the jealousy of my heart awakens. I have no trouble knowing when it hits! If I am not careful, pride and shame will keep me from taking the necessary steps to stop its progression.
For too many years, jealousy opened the door for me to act out in coldness and silent anger toward whoever had what I lacked or desired. Would I admit it? Absolutely not! Not to myself, God, or anyone else. The truth of the matter is that what I refuse to admit WILL keep me in bondage and jealousy has been one such jailer!
When that green-eyed monster attempts to pull me into its all too familiar dungeon I now know what to do! I see my jealousy as the problem rather than others as the problem. I admit it to God and begin reviewing truth about myself and others. I view them as God’s children with wants and needs of their own. I see them as precious in God’s sight. I see myself as secure in my relationship with Him and safe in my own skin. I embrace the truth that others really aren’t my reviles and there is no need to be in competition with them. What others have does not change who I am in Christ. Does it work? Yes! And it will work each and every time I repeat the necessary steps to freedom.
Father, I delight in the fact that life can be lived differently for me than I have lived it in the past. Each experience with jealousy can be worked through with a confidence of victory through You. Amen.
Still - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mgob5afanUg&feature=related
Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.