Making the Exchange

To comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion ~ to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. Isaiah 61:2,3 (NIV)

I love the exchanges God is longing to make with us. He is offering us amazing things but so often I find myself unwilling to make the switch. I want the comfort, beauty, gladness, and praise but find myself hesitant to give up the mourning, ashes, and despair. As uncomfortable as they are, as miserable as they make me feel, and as draining as they can be, I still manage to hold on to them for the “treasures” they have become to me. I have learned to embrace them because they are so familiar to me.

So what does my loving heavenly Father do? He waits. He allows me to hold on to my thoughts, feelings, and emotions until the pain becomes so great that I RUN to Him for the exchange. He knows that I will not relinquish that which has me in bondage until I have squeezed out the last bit of distorted pleasure I can find in it. He gently woos me to Himself but knows that my heart will not seek Him with abandon until the discomfort of my mindset and choices becomes unbearable. How gracious He is! How resistant I can be.

This morning I made some long over due exchanges. What I gave to Him was so pathetic compared to what He gave to me. But He tenderly accepted my feelings of anger, hurt, rejection, loneliness, confusion, frustration, unforgiveness, bitterness, and resentment. As I placed every worthless feeling that had been consuming me into His receptive hands, He gave me the gifts of peace, satisfaction, and joy I was wanting all along. Oh, I have asked for those things many times but God will never put His gifts into hands that are filled with other things. My heart can only hold on to one thing at a time. Until I give to Him what I am grasping and clinging to, He has no choice but to keep His gift to Himself. It is kept safe and available for when I am ready to make the exchange.

I stand in awe of His work. I stand amazed at how easily I block Him. I praise Him that He never gives up on me. As Kathy Troccoli so eloquently sings, “It’s His stubborn love that never lets go of me!”

Father, You have waited for this moment and Your generosity fills my heart with gratitude and my eyes with tears. Thank you! Amen.

He Still Amazes Listeners

And all that heard him were astonished at his understanding and answers. Luke 2:47 (KJV)

God is still able to astound a listener with His understanding and answers. Time and time again I have gone to Him seeking His understanding and answers. As I wade through the issues of my own life, who better to turn to than the One who created me and knows me better than anyone else? He knows my history completely. As David said, “He is acquainted with all my ways.” He has a perfect view and vantage point of my entire life….from beginning to end. He is aware of every breath I take, every thought I think, every word I speak, and every action I take. He understands what makes me tick, what brings me pleasure, what hinders my progress, what weighs heavy on my heart, and what lies buried in the caverns of my soul. He knows my longings, desires, ambitions, and dreams. The intimate details of my life are not only known by Him but are safe with Him. His understanding, insight, and knowledge of me is truly astounding.

And just as astounding are His answers to my questions…whether verbalized or unspoken. The very things that boggle my mind are cleared up as I take in His answers. My questions to Him are never seen as insignificant, childish, or unnecessary. They are welcomed and in time answered. Sometimes they are answered even before I have found a way to ask them. Nothing compares to receiving instructions and explanations from Him.

This morning I found myself once again wanting to be under someone’s spiritual care. I have known the preciousness of someone taking my hand and walking me through the rugged terrain of my soul. They shared insight and wisdom that I thrived under. Question and answer times with them felt safe. I was all too happy to remain in a “spoon-feeding” relationship. But God is letting me know while that may feel good it is not the best way to walk with Him. He wants me to be under His spiritual care. To bring my questions and concerns to Him. To look to Him to nurture, teach, direct, and sustain me. Who better to fill that role than the creator of the universe and designer of my life?

Father, may I listen to all that You have to say to me today through Scripture, songs, books, friends, or quiet thoughts. Speak into my open ears and receptive heart. Amen.

Memorabilia of the Mind

Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13,14 (NKJV)

I am a mental pack rat. I have stored a lot of precious memorabilia in my mind and I visit the “trunks” often. It is okay and enjoyable to visit the memories for brief moments and savor the events that brought joy and delight to me. Faces of loved ones come to mind and I smile. Conversations are replayed over and over again that brought such strength to my spirit. The warmth of faces, the power of embraces that hugged me at the core of myself, the laughter that energized me, and the exhilaration of knowing someone had put out a welcome mat for me to their own heart. It doesn’t take long to realize that relationships mean the world to me. I thrive under the ones that were established years ago and have not diminished even with the separation of many miles and years. I rejoice in new found ones that I know are God-given.

But this morning, God is showing me the boundaries that need to be established for visiting my places of past delights. While it is acceptable and good to review these parts of my life, there is a danger when my visits lead to discontentment and longings for things to be as they were. When I become unwilling to close the trunk lid and move forward into what God has for me today, then I am actually stunting my own spiritual growth. I can often remind myself of the Baldwin sisters from the television show THE WALTONS. They were never able to leave the past. Their days were built on keeping the memory of their father and former boyfriend alive. Everything in their life was tainted and limited by the need for them to stay in the past. It was tragic for them and it is tragic for us today.

God is wooing me into the present. He is instructing me to visit the past sparingly for the precious times they were, but don’t cross over into the feelings of aching and mental anguish over the fact that they are no longer present realities. Capture the gifts they were meant to be but don’t allow the attachment to stay so strong that I miss His present goodness and gifts. In all reality I must let go in order to reach forward.

Father, help me to experience the reality of what You have shared with me this morning. Help me to look forward more than I look back. Amen.

Forgiveness Without Exceptions

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I John 1:9 (NKJV)

Have you ever struggled with past sins in your life or those past sins in other people’s lives? Ever battle to stop seeing yourself or them through the grid of poor choices made, sins committed, and wrong paths followed? Maybe the problem is our focus.

I received an email story this morning from a friend that helped to put things in the right perspective. It told of a young woman with a past of drugs, alcohol, and prostitution, who had received Christ and her life and lifestyle were drastically changed. Trouble came when she and the pastor’s son became engaged. Outraged over the thought. the congregation struggled to see her as different from her past. A meeting was called and she was “roasted” to say the least. Her fiancé then spoke the words that so many need to hear. He told them "My fiancé’s past is not what is on trial here. What you are questioning is the ability of the blood of Jesus to wash away sin. Today you have put the blood of Jesus on trial. So, does it wash away sin or not? If it does not cover her sin it does not cover ours either."

Fortunately, the congregation took the words to heart as we all should. The story goes on to emphasize how we so often use past sin to beat up and condemn ourselves or other people and yet forgiveness is the heart of the Gospel. It is the reason Jesus died…so we could be forgiven. He did not give His life for all sins except ____________.

My thoughts this morning turn to a few truths I want to embrace. God’s forgiveness is complete and final. Cleansed means cleansed. No residue left like soap scum on a shower door. No streaks left like a little bug smeared across a windshield. God does not look at us and continually groan, “Oh, if only you hadn’t done such and such.” Unlike us, He never brings things out again that He has placed behind His back. But the enemy of our soul delights in convincing us that forgiveness is given grudgingly, sparingly, and partially. That it somehow cannot be as profound and permanent as I John 1:9 says. But my forgiveness is not earned, deserved, or dependent on my self-sufficiency. It was paid for in full by Christ!

Father, I dance in the truth and realization of Your forgiveness and will spend my days proclaiming that truth to myself, others, and Satan! Amen.

Lists to Live By

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye. Psalm 32:8 (NKJV)

The ability to receive instruction is contingent on two things: confidence in the instructor and possessing a teachable spirit. When I am hungry to learn something I become receptive to the truths shared with me. God has allowed me to sit under some incredible teachers in my life. Some have left a profound mark on my life. I have seen them as storehouses of wisdom from which I can draw instruction and guidance.

I love lists and three are racing through my mind this morning. Beth Moore has a powerful list she shares in her study BELIEVING GOD. It contains truths we all need to verbalize regularly. It is a five-statement pledge of faith and goes like this:

*God is who He says He is.
*God can do what He says He can do.
*I am who God says I am.
*I can do all things through Christ.
*God’s Word is alive and active in me. I’m believing God!

Christine Wyrtzen also has an influential list she shares in her topic of LIVING AS A DAUGHTER OF PROMISE. It too contains truths we need to verbalize and practice regularly. It reads like this:

*Practice God’s presence.
*Live cherished.
*Embrace your emotions.
*Pursue the redemption of your pain.
*Live life out of the overflow.

While both those lists have benefited me greatly in my walk with God, I have come across God’s personal list in Psalm 37 and it goes like this:

*Trust in the LORD and do good.
*Delight yourself also in the LORD.
*Commit your way to the LORD.
*Rest in the LORD.
*Wait patiently for Him.

Father, I hunger for truths to live by. Thank you for instruction You give me through people but most of all through Your Word directly. Amen.

The Effects of Our Choices

But the children of Israel committed a trespass in the accursed thing: for Achan, the son of Carmi….took of the accursed thing: and the anger of the LORD was kindled against the children of Israel. Joshua 7:1 (KJV)

This verse follows Israel’s victory over the city of Jericho. But before that victory ever took place Joshua gave very clear instructions to the people not to take anything out of the city unto themselves because it was all to be consecrated to God. Along with the instructions, a warning was given. Joshua told them if they took items for themselves they would make themselves accursed as well as make the nation a curse and they would bring trouble upon it.

So here is what becomes clear to me about Achan. He KNEW he was taking something God had forbidden him to take. And what a load of forbidden goods he took and hid in his tent! A Babylonish garment, silver, and gold. As he collected and carried the items to his tent, he KNEW he was being disobedient and defiant toward God. But he also KNEW his actions would bring trouble upon his people (the nation of Israel). The consequences of his sin would fall to many others. God’s presence and protection were removed, they were not able to stand up against the city of Ai, thirty-six men died during the retreat, and the confidence of Israel drained out of them. As Achan saw this come about he KNEW he was the cause of it all.

It is easy for me to sit in wonder and judgment of Achan. I can detect his sin and the painful consequences that followed. But how good am I at recognizing my own sin and the consequences that would fall to me and other people in my life? Let’s face it, my sin whether in word, deed, or thought will affect more than just myself. But the effects can be broken if I bring them to the cross and allow Jesus to cleanse me. I don’t want to be like Achan and attempt to keep things well hidden in my life. After all, God sees everything I do, hears every word I speak, and is aware of every thought and motive I have. He knows when I have grabbed a hold of anything He has forbidden and His invitation to me is to come to Him for forgiveness, healing, and restoration. I accept His offer!

Father, I don’t want to bring trouble to others because of the effects of unconfessed sin in my own life. Help me to daily bring to You the sins of my words, actions, and thoughts. I receive the cleansing You offer. Amen.

The Power of Seeing the Purpose

Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21

Truth will be meaningful to me and I will be passionate about it when it transforms me. Until it causes a change in the way I think, act, and speak it has not really become a part of me. This was evidenced in my life this week as God peeled back the blindfolds from my eyes and removed the obstacles from my path that kept blocking me from seeing Him, trusting Him, and knowing Him. They had been in place for decades….even in the midst of so many changes that have taken place in the past three years. Lies and mindsets had so kept me in bondage that I often resigned myself to the idea that freedom would always stay just outside of reach. I am only able to share these thoughts today because with the freedom has come the removal of shame. My deliverance gives me permission and power to speak freely.

A few years ago God led a significant person into my life to mentor me. I reveled in the relationship but had some misunderstanding of the purpose. When the mentoring relationship ended I was devastated because of issues I had failed to address in my own life. These were issues of negative thoughts about myself and the stronghold of being highly addicted to people. God’s desire all along was that I would finally walk in total freedom and truly come to depend upon Him instead of people. His work was cut out for Him but then again He specializes in the very things that are impossible for us to accomplish on our own.

He set me free with this truth. He said, “Pam, you must understand the reason I brought this person into your life. I brought her into your life to mentor you, teach you truth, and point you to Me. She was not brought in to be a heart friend, healer, deliverer, meeter of needs, or fixer. And when she had accomplished what I sent her to do, she wisely and obediently stepped back. No person was ever created to be to you and do for you what I alone can be and do for you. Come to Me alone.” I have never grasped such a powerful truth and it set me free! In one swift moment I let go of the one I had clung to and embraced the One who welcomed me. This not only ended my unhealthy attachment to this person it released me from the feelings of rejection and abandonment that had consumed me for an entire year!

Father, what You have done for me leaves me in tearful wonder and awe. I will forever be grateful and passionate about it! Amen.