Not Knowing Ahead of Time

Then the LORD spoke to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not believe Me, to hallow Me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land which I have given them.” Numbers 20:12 (New King James Version)

Moses’ disobedience led to dire consequences. The disobedience? Failing to glorify God in the eyes of the nation of Israel. The consequences? Not being allowed to lead that nation into the promised land. Had Moses known this would be the case when God first called Him to be Israel’s leader he would not have been ready to hear it and most likely would have declined even taking the first step toward that leadership. But when the time came for Moses to see the later picture, God had brought him to the place of being ready for it. I am reviewing Bible characters in my mind and seeing that outside of Jesus Himself, none of them knew ahead of time the full scope of what they were getting into at the start of their journey. They were not told ahead of time but when they finally were told they had been fully prepared.

Several years ago, I accepted the invitation to join a friend in an accountability relationship. When I look back at what it was like at the start I am amazed at how much the Lord has transformed it over time. What it looks like now does not even resemble in the slightest what it looked like then. The reason for that is simple…..I would not have been able to handle knowing what was coming. The ground work had not been laid. Trust had not been established. God knew that and built that into the process. Over the course of several years I learned the necessity to be honest and I learned this was a safe person. In the beginning I needed lots of assurance and encouragement. I still do to a point. My emotions were fragile and my trust was shaky. They still are but not as much.

Yet, last night I experienced a confrontation of truth I needed to hear. While I was told I was wrong I was assured I was loved. I was given time to process what I had been told and time to let down my resistance to change my attitude. When it was all said and done, I experienced the joy of looking this individual in the eye and thanking her for nudging me to take a step toward emotional maturity. This morning I rejoice that God had me ready when it came time to know. He also had my friend ready to take the uncomfortable step of being the confronter. It is not a role she would have gladly embraced at the start. He graciously helped us both to turn a relationship corner and I trust Him to continue to do this time and time again……as He makes us ready.

Father, get me ready for each moment of truth and for each truth teller who will speak it. Amen.

Please Come - Kathy Troccoli
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcCkK_FW0mA

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Seeing What God Intended

As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. Genesis 50:20 (New American Standard Bible)

Joseph’s ability to forgive lay in his acceptance and belief of God’s sovereignty. While what his brothers did to him was wrong, God’s purposes were right. Joseph had no trouble acknowledging the truth of his brother’s actions but it was done with the backdrop of God’s actions. He was one who experienced the words of Jeremiah 29:11 even before they were written. “For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.” Somewhere in the course of 13 years of separation from his family and enslavement and imprisonment in Egypt, Joseph learned that God’s plans and purposes outshine and outweigh those of others. Their actions fade in comparison to His own.

I have tried to think of a time in my life when someone actually meant evil against me. Someone who intended to do me harm for their own pleasure and satisfaction. Nothing is really coming to mind. But that is not to say that the actions of others have not caused me discomfort, pain, sorrow, and anguish. Some have even left me with the thought that I would never recover from the heartache. Yet, it was the realization of God’s involvement in my life that brought about the comfort and healing that I needed. The God who promised to work all things out for good, Who stated that His thoughts and plans were higher than my own, and the One who spoke of my welfare, peace, and a hopeful end, is the One who writes the true version of my life story.

Joseph could have taken a victim mentality and harbored much bitterness but he didn’t. I, too, can think of myself as a victim and hold on to bitterness, but I know I had better not. In essence, if I did, I would be living a lie because that is not God’s view. That which happens to me is for my good (always) and that which takes place in my life is the material God uses to bring about good (always). If for no other reason than to get my attention and focus back on Him, He is loving enough to allow things to happen.

I rest in the fact that the only hands I am in are God’s hands. He has laid claim to my life and promises to shield, shepherd, and sustain me. No circumstance takes place that has not already passed through Him. He sees it all and He uses it all. May I continue to learn to proclaim, “But God meant it for good” over every situation of every day.

Father, Your ways are past figuring out. You know the beginning from the ending and I trust You to bring about Your end to my story. Thank you that what has hurt me the most is within the realm of Your good intentions for me. Amen.

Rest In Me - Todd Vaters
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1s4z_HQpL-I&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Seeing Ourselves

Then I said, "Woe is me, for I am ruined! Because I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips; For my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts." Isaiah 6:5 (New American Standard Bible)

I find it interesting that the very thing that Isaiah viewed as his worst asset was the very thing that God wanted to use…his mouth, his words, his voice. Our weaknesses are not a deterrent to God’s plan but rather a starting place for that plan to come forth…to be birthed. When we bring our weaknesses to God and receive His forgiveness and cleansing we are actually putting ourselves in a position to be used of Him. Until we can come to that place we are simply observers of His kingdom work.

It took me a long time to realize that admitting the truth about myself to God, myself, and others was the first step toward freedom and usefulness. What I shuttered at the most was what God wanted to use. What I thought disqualified me actually qualified me. Along with that is the joy of knowing I am not alone…I follow a long line of individuals who had to face the “not so pretty” picture of themselves in order to begin seeing God’s portrait that included them. This often followed a time of failure and a time of solitude.

Moses’ killed a man and spent 40 years in the wilderness before God’s call came to him. He had been spent of all his self-sufficiency and know how. David committed adultery and murder and spent many years running from Saul before assuming his place as king. Joseph boasted of dreams and ended up spending 13 years as a slave and prisoner before rising to a place of authority in Egypt. Person after person is shown in their human frailty and a time of conditioning that God brought them through to mold them into the person He created them to be for the fulfillment of His purpose.

I have spent the past number of years painfully seeing my own heart and life condition. It hasn’t been pretty, comfortable, or enjoyable, but it has been necessary and productive. Just coming to the place of saying, like Isaiah, “I am a person of __________,” has caused me to hang my head in shame on more than one occasion. Looking back at my Bible ancestors gives me hope, though, because I know it is part of the process God will use with me just as He did with them. To know that my words of admittance are always received by Him in love makes all the difference in the world. Whatever He is able to redeem and restore from this life of mine, I praise Him for!

Father, touch me with the coals of cleansing and make me fit for Your use and Your hands. Amen.

Call On Jesus - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pz8P96myUZk&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Christmas Moments

For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said, “I will dwell in them and walk among them; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people.” 2 Corinthians 6:16 (New American Standard Bible)

This verse is the summation of Christmas for me. God coming to us in the flesh and then choosing to walk with us on a daily basis. Proclaiming to be our God and claiming us as His children. Every moment of every day! His invitations are many and His gifts are abundant. How personal and precious He longs our relationship to be with Him.

It was my joy, in past Christmas seasons, to attend a Christmas eve communion service at a church close to our home. All year I would anticipate the moment when I would kneel at the altar and take communion in a solitary moment with God. It never failed to bring me to tears as God’s holiness and gracious acceptance of me were so profound. It was a “tradition” God established between the two of us and I reveled in the moment.

Even though that particular communion service is no longer held, God continues to awaken me to His voice and heart. As I read some familiar passages I find myself hearing the words being spoken to and for me. Actually, they are to and for any child of His. God intends for His Word to come alive to us . Not to remain messages only for the people He originally spoke them to. I invite you to read the following words and receive them for yourself as well. Allow them to become a special gift to you from the God of the universe!

The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall over-shadow thee. (Luke 1:35) I am empowered by the same Spirit that impregnated the virgin Mary!

And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth. (John 1:4) Because of Christ, I am allowed to behold God’s glory on a daily basis! Grace and truth abound!

And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child….and fell down, and worshipped him. (Matthew 2:11) When I truly see Jesus it always leads to worship!

Through the tender mercy of our God; whereby the dayspring from on high hath visited us, to give light to them that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace. (Luke 1:78-79) God in His tender mercy continues to shine light on my places of darkness and faithfully guides my feet in His way!

I affirm these truths and embrace them for myself. May your daily moments be full of joy as well!

Father, with each truth-gift I unwrap, I adore You as the Giver! May I continue to be changed by Your presence. Amen.

Spirit Song - Maranatha Singers & Evie Karlsson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqkvIhs7Ijg

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Living With the Truth

After these days Elizabeth his wife became pregnant, and she kept herself in seclusion for five months, saying, “This is the way the Lord has dealt with me in the days when He looked with favor upon me, to take away my disgrace among men.” Luke 1:24, 25 (New American Standard Bible)

My Bible note says that “not only did lack of children deprive the parents of personal happiness, but it was generally considered to indicate divine disfavor and often brought social reproach.” In this verse, Elizabeth proclaimed the truth against all the wrong perceptions, misjudgments, and looks of disdain she had lived with for decades. She reveled in God’s favor for five months in seclusion. When she finally stepped out into her neighborhood the truth was obvious!

Many of us can relate with this aspect of Elizabeth’s life. We have all experienced the wrong interpretations of our life by those with limited sight, limited faith, and limited love. For too many years we allowed other people to define truth for us and felt it was necessary to align ourselves with their opinions. It felt safer to just go along with the multitudes. But the result was that we lived our Christian lives out of fear, disconnection with God, and performance.

In the spring of 2004, I learned that God’s love is not dependent on what I do and that His Word is alive and applicable to my life. I learned that He desires an intimate relationship with me whereby He directs my daily walk. His desire is that I look to Him for comfort, counsel, and wisdom. Learning that I could have a one on one relationship with the Creator of the universe completely changed the way I lived my Christian life.

Yet, all of that brought about a sense of being misunderstood, misjudged, or rejected by some brothers and sisters in Christ. It hurt when others looked down on the very things I had come to love. It tested the very truths I had come to embrace in my life. Although it was painful, I learned a valuable lesson through it. I had a choice to make on a daily basis. I could fold to the pressure, climb back in the box of well defined expectations, and resume an empty, performance based Christian life. OR I could live under the banner of “Christ alone” whereby my daily review of truth became, “Christ alone defines me. Christ alone guides me. Christ alone satisfies me. Christ alone transforms me. Christ alone molds me into the image of Himself.” I chose and still choose Christ alone!

Father, some will not understand or see Your work in me. I rest in the fact that You and I know the truth. I come to You each time. Amen.

In Christ Alone - Stuart Townend
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESlhrn8efl0&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Seeing the Truth About the Lies

Both of them were upright in the sight of God, observing all the Lord’s commandments and regulations blamelessly. But they had no children, because Elizabeth was barren; and they were both well along in years. Luke 1:6,7 (New International Version)

Discouragement is rooted in lies. The enemy of our soul enjoys nothing more than to take the circumstances of our life and weave his own story of interpretation for us. He loves to tell us that “this is happening because _____________.” If we are not careful, if we are not grounded in the truth, we will buy into the lies and become discouraged.

When tragedy upon tragedy struck in Job’s life his “friends” were quick to tell him that he must have been doing something wrong and God was judging him for it. When Paul was bitten by a snake the people assumed he must have done something wrong and although he lived through a ship wreck God was carrying out a judgment against him. The disciples thought a man was born blind because of his sin or his parent’s sin. In each of these scenarios nothing was further from the truth!

I have known friends who struggled with infertility. Some battle the lies that they must be doing something wrong. They feel like there are hoops God must want them to jump through before He will finally allow them to conceive a child. Questions flood their minds as they wrestle with their own thoughts. What lesson are they suppose to learn? What amount of faith are they to muster up? What attitude do they need to correct? Is it hopeless? Not only do they struggle with these internal issues, but “friends” make it a point to say inappropriate things that further discourage them.

While I cannot relate with their infertility, I am sure Elizabeth could. Just in case she or others would draw the wrong conclusion, the first part of this passage lets me know she and her husband had their lives and priorities in order. They were called upright, obedient, and blameless. Elizabeth’s barrenness was not a punishment from God but rather a backdrop to a miracle! God hadn’t forgotten her. He had His eye on her and an amazing plan in store for her. Her present circumstance was NOT the end of the story and neither is ours. We must allow God to define our circumstances rather than allowing our circumstances to define God. It is all part of walking by faith rather than by sight. No matter what we see, experience, or feel, God is still on the throne and still working through ways and thoughts that are higher than our own.

Father, help me to continually review the truth of Your character and heart . My emotions, circumstances, and feelings cannot be my barometer. You alone are allowed to interpret my story. Amen.

Faithful to Me - Damaris Carbaugh
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNoLUVTtr98&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Seeing and Admitting Our Condition

And behold, there was a woman who had a spirit of infirmity eighteen years, and was bent over and could in no way raise herself up. Luke 13:11 (New King James Version)


For eighteen years a woman’s body was bent over due to a spirit of infirmity. It was apparent to any who knew her that something was amiss and until Jesus intervened in her life her condition remained unchanged with little hope of improvement. Hers was an obvious and noticeable problem. What of the many who are “bent over” internally? From all outward accounts they seem to have it all together but if they allow you to see beyond the surface one comes to realize their spirit and emotions are far from straight and strong. What does one do when this is their truth? When this is their life?

In the past few years, God has been showing me the steps to take in order to begin standing straight internally and I freely share those steps with you now. First, admit to yourself there is a problem. Something is askew and you have to be willing to see that. Second, desire change. For some of us, what we have grown use to as a way of life has become comfortable and the thought of change can be scary. Yet, desire for change eventually becomes stronger than the satisfaction of remaining unchanged. Third, be willing to ask for help. Learning to open up to a trusted person and accept the truth that will come from advice given takes time to develop but is necessary. Fourth, see that the internal problems may be brought on by physical conditions. Schedule an appointment with a doctor to see whether or not this is a possibility. Fifth, daily ask God to show you practical steps you can take in applying His Word and other truths to your life that will make a difference.

These are not steps that one crosses off their list as they are taken. These are steps that continue to be a part of your life as you work through your weaknesses, places of vulnerability, and areas in need of change. In a week’s time I return to all of them in one way or another. There have been times when friends have admitted to thinking that at one time they thought I had it all together. The more we talked the more they saw my frailties and humanness. I wouldn’t want it any other way, because any noticeable change will be attributed to God.

These devotionals have never been meant to tell someone all the right answers or to make others think I have things all figured out. They are simply an invitation for others to join me on what many times feels like a roller coaster ride of varying speeds and heights. Walk beside me and let’s grow together.

Father, I realize now that it isn’t about appearing strong but being real. Help me to fully celebrate the victories and willingly share the struggles. Under Your care, amen.

The Motions - Matthew West
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHUppFNjy5E

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Knowing God

They shall know that I am the LORD their God who brought them out of the land of Egypt, that I might dwell among them; I am the LORD their God. Exodus 29:46 (New American Standard Bible)

Countless times in the Bible, God spoke the phrase, “That they may know Me.” He is a personal God who wants to be known, understood, perceived, and acknowledged by His creation…by us. Far from distant, secretive, private, and unreachable, He is intimate and willingly reveals Himself to any who want to know Him. Some will gather the facts and continue to live their life with merely a head knowledge of God. I can tell you from personal experience, that does very little to transform one from the inside out. There is a difference between knowing about God and actually knowing God. Even on a human level this is true. I can know about a certain person without really knowing them and knowing what they are like. Much changes when I come to know them. And much changes when I truly come to know God.

The knowing of God comes through many avenues. First and foremost, it comes through Scripture where God reveals much about Himself. Even in Scripture though, I see other ways that God reveals Himself. Ways such as through creation, through experiences, through conversation, through His actions, through circumstances, and through others. He is far from limited to one way or means of self disclosure and revelation.

Because we are unique individuals with peculiar characteristics all our own and because we learn in distinctive ways, God knows the right methods to use to show Himself to us. He will always use His Word plus many (if not all) of the afore mentioned ways. Whatever it takes for us to see who He is and what He is like He will do. Our part is to become aware of what He is doing and how He is showing Himself. What He shows us is full of variety and ingenuity. Throughout each day we have the special position to see God as One who is faithful, present, powerful, attentive, passionate, caring, sustaining, loving, just, merciful, and kind.

For decades, I had a very small and distorted perception of God. To me, He was a harsh judge who tolerated me more than loved me. Over the course of the last six years my view of God has taken a radical shift. It came through asking Him to show me His heart in Scripture and showing me Himself in each day. He honors and delights in prayers such as, “Show me what You are like. Speak to me. Open my eyes to really see You and know You.” It is a life long journey and I am in awe of what I am coming to know of the One who knows me so well.

Father, for too long You were unknown to me. Continue to show me aspects of Yourself that will change the very fiber of who I am and what I am like. Transform me with the truth of who You are and what You are like. Amen.

All I Once Held Dear (Knowing You) - Robin Mark
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGbuz8QuhmE

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Knowing the Truth About Ourselves

But Peter said to Him, "Even though all may fall away because of You, I will never fall away." Jesus said to him, "Truly I say to you that this very night, before a rooster crows, you will deny Me three times." Peter said to Him, "Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You." All the disciples said the same thing too. Matthew 26:33-35 (New American Standard Bible)

Like Peter, we can often state, in a moment of strength, lofty thoughts that come back to bite us in weak moments. Peter had plans to stick with the Lord no matter what. He spoke with passion…runaway passion. He truly meant what he said but he said it grossly underestimating the strength of his own weaknesses. In his stronger moment, he could not imagine that the circumstances of life could have the effect on him of which Jesus warned him. Peter learned the hard way of just how human he was. Everything he said would happen, didn’t, and everything he said wouldn’t happen, did. I believe this incident forever changed his view of how vulnerable he was in this world and where his true strength had to lie.

I am learning to watch myself in my strong moments. When life is going well and I am owning an attitude that I can handle certain things I can often forget how close I am to stumbling. As scenarios play over and over again in my life and I see the effects remaining the same I am taking notice. If I keep repeating the same thing and getting the same painful result it is time I make a decision to avoid that particular action.

I have two weaknesses that come to mind and I am learning to guard myself better when it comes to them. There are certain foods that will trigger an eating binge with me. Partaking of them always leads to the same result. Hence, I KNOW if I start the result will not be pretty. No matter how strong I may feel and how sure I am that I can control those foods, the truth of the matter is I can’t. I am wise to avoid them.

There are also areas in relationships that tend to bring about the same results for me. There are certain people who hold too strong of a position in my life. If I contact them via emails, phone calls, or letters, and do not hear back from them I am crushed. As much as I don’t want this to be the case, my perceptions run wild and negativity sets in toward them and myself. In strong moments I may think I can handle not hearing from them, but I make a mistake when I allow those thoughts to persuade me to try one more contact. The scenario has played out too many times. My head may tell me the legitimate reasons for their lack of communication but my emotions spiral. So knowing this, the wise thing for me to do is resist the temptation to be in contact. I have had to see the truth of my weakness during times when I don’t even feel weak. Knowing myself is an important part of walking in victory.

Father, help me to see the truth about what controls me. If the result will be over indulgence or emotional suicide, help me to avoid the pitfall. I want to walk in wisdom and freedom. Amen.

I Surrender All - Vineyard
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7x2IpLSfqp8

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

A Matter of My Will and Choice

And the work of righteousness will be peace, and the service of righteousness, quietness and confidence forever. Isaiah 32:17 (New American Standard Bible)

God desires to instill within me peace, quietness, and confidence. When those qualities are missing in my internal world and I find myself walking in turmoil, restlessness, and uncertainty, I can be sure something has gone awry. While there are bound to be times when life gets messy and off-centered, there is need for concern when I find myself unable to move forward and regain my sure footedness. When my thought life, words, and emotions become wrapped and entrapped in negativity, self pity, and prolonged grief, I can be sure I have taken my eyes off God, closed my heart to His work, and embraced lies over truth. What may start out as a reaction to circumstances can quickly become a place in which I willfully choose to dwell.

There are numerous things in life that I do not necessarily cause, choose, or wish to happen. While I may not be personally responsible for their introduction into my life, I am responsible for the way I respond to them and the duration of time I allow them to negatively affect me. When I have crossed the line from being hurt to becoming bitter, I have entered a place that is far removed from peace, quietness, and confidence. God in His graciousness and wisdom brings about enough discomfort and pain to coax me into a desire for change. It is never His intent that I continue to live in a prison of my own making.

So what does it take to move out of an emotional box that I have constructed and crawled into? TRUTH!!!! I must be willing to see the truth about my circumstances, heart, and mindset in light of what God says and does. Getting me to that point may have many avenues. At all times, I have God’s Spirit living in me and if I listen to Him He will reveal heart changing truth to me. I have God’s Word which will definitely show me truth that is meant to set me free. I also have truth tellers in my life who are connected enough to the heart of God to plainly tell me the very things I need to hear. While they assure me of their love for me and interest in me, they know better than to sugar coat or water down the truth God leads them to share.

Many have been the times when these individuals have come along side me to encourage me to once again see the truth and embrace it. While their hearts go out to me and their prayers go up for me, they know better than to simply give me a listening ear, strong shoulder, and an endless supply of sympathy. They consistently and lovingly speak the truth and as I receive it for myself I experience a return of peace, quietness, and confidence. Amazing!

Father, thank you that when my will and emotions choose a wrong path, You graciously and purposefully redirect my mind and my steps. Amen.

Your Name - Phillips, Craig, & Dean
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=othYj8jWSwc

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

In All Honesty

Jesus called His disciples and said to them, I feel compassion for the people because they have remained with Me now three days and have nothing to eat. If I send them away hungry to their homes, they will faint on the way; and some of them have come from a great distance. Mark 8:1-3 (New American Standard Bible)

When Jesus walked on this earth He never failed to connect with the heart of the people. That was because He knew them….not as a group but as individuals. He knew their strengths and weaknesses, where they had come from and where they were headed, and what their needs were. It is one thing to see those qualities of compassion in another individual. It is quite another thing to see them in the Creator of the universe.

Two of the most profound aspects of God that I have come to realize is His unconditional love for me and His individual knowledge of me. He knows me thoroughly and still loves me. It has taken me a long time to crawl into that truth and feel at home. It has also taken a long time for me to see that when God reveals my own internal world to me He does not do it to condemn and shame but rather He does it show me what He desires to touch, heal, and restore. Taking in that truth has done more for me than anything else to cooperate with His process.

I have found that growth on this journey is possible only as I admit to God and myself what is really going on in my heart, mind, and emotions right now. Not dwelling on the past or longing for the eventual change He will bring about in my life. But rather it is standing in His presence stripped of all pretenses, masking, and camouflaging and simply acknowledging the truth of my mindsets, my feelings, and my perspectives pertaining to God, myself, and others. It is a time of coming clean and setting the record straight. It is easier for me to “hide” with the hope that I can fix whatever is wrong and then be able to present God with a more palatable picture. Oh, how He must ache for us to step away from all that and walk in truth. When I do that, I find acceptance not rejection. I find freedom and not condemnation. I find compassion and the realization that I have moved forward one more inch!

But what of the times when I don’t walk in truth? The times that I remain in the darkness of my own thoughts. He waits until I finally step in His direction.

Father, Your ways continue to astound me. You do not see me through the lens of yesterday or tomorrow but rather this moment. I marvel that Your mercy, love, and compassion truly are new every day! Amen.

One Desire
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUbbq6t0qT0&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

A Necessary Disclaimer

For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin. For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. Romans 7:14,15,18 (New American Standard Bible)

Paul was not beating himself up over his failures and weaknesses. He was simply stating truth. What was that truth? That he was not a completed vessel yet. That he did not always do it right, get it right, say it right, or think it right. That he had not arrived at such a spiritual state that his flesh ceased to be a problem. That he was not always in control of his emotions. That what he believed was not always what he lived out of or demonstrated. That his responses, perceptions, and reactions were not always good or accurate. This was his disclaimer for any who would think otherwise. I own it as mine as well.

Like Paul, I fight a daily battle with my flesh. I take things personal, I misread another’s actions or words. I hold on to past hurts and disappointments. I so easily feel unloved, unwanted, and unaccepted at times. I get my eyes off God and focus on myself or others. I have times when I fail to walk in truth. The list (as unpleasant as it is) could go on and on but my point is this: Failures and weaknesses mark my path. It is true of me, it is true of you, it was true of our Bible ancestors, it is true of the authors and speakers we sit under, and it is true of every person ever born except Jesus.

I find encouragement when Paul states the truth about himself and I find freedom when I do because I know where to turn when the truth is blatantly staring me in the face. I turn to the One who loves me and is still working on me. That which I so easily detest in myself He already knows about. It does not hinder His love for me but calls upon His love to minister to me and change me. When I am most prone to back away from Him in shame or disappointment with myself, He extends the invitation to come to Him. While there are times repentance is a must, forgiveness and reconciliation are always the end result.

Father, I want to be all the things I should be and will be eventually. For now, help me to live with a fuller realization of Your love, mercy, and grace. When I see the truth about myself, help me to embrace the truth about You. Amen.

Warrior is a Child/Do I Trust You - Twila Paris
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Pzu-jWpcdw

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Reality Check

Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all. Psalm 34:19 (New King James Version)

I have been spending some time in the Psalms this morning. I didn’t want to leave! The Lord was reminding me through David’s words that life is full of trouble and He is the only true Deliverer. While difficulties marked his path, praise flowed from his lips. Countless times he asked God to forgive, deliver, preserve, protect, and defend him. His was not an easy life but he knew where to take every uneasy aspect of it. He knew how to pour his heart out to God. When circumstances over whelmed him, enemies attacked him, fear consumed him, sin ruled him, friends abandoned him, and afflictions accompanied him, he brought it all to the throne of grace and allowed God to bring peace, rest, and delight to his soul.

When I started on this journey six years ago, I had a lot of misconceptions. I thought I could get to the point where the hurts and hassles of life would no longer affect me. I thought it was possible to live without pain, disappointment, loneliness, and emptiness. And when that did not happen, I struggled with thoughts of failure and wondered what I was doing wrong. I looked at individuals whom I THOUGHT had nothing but good days, who handled every situation correctly, and experienced only joy, satisfaction, and victory every step of the way. I desperately tried to accomplish the same thing in my own life and couldn’t do it. How naïve I was! There are no such people on this planet.

My premise was all wrong. Life is full of trouble and I am the cause and recipient of some of it. We all are! As long as we possess a sin nature and live in a fallen world we are going to experience heartache and failure in one form or another. But that does not mean that is all we will experience. In the midst of any storm, God is the anchor of our soul. He is our deliverer, healer, restorer, and constant companion. He longs to strengthen us, dry our tears, comfort our hearts, and renew our spirit. But that will not happen if we remain at arms length. It starts by acknowledging the truth about ourselves and our circumstances as well as the truth about God. Pour out our hearts to Him, YES, but also proclaim His attributes! Psalm 18 is an excellent example of how to do just that.

I invite others to learn what I am learning. The abundant Christian life does not mean the absence of sin, heartache, and trouble. It means knowing Who to take it all to. It means learning to cry on God’s shoulder, seek His counsel, and follow His heart.

Father, I am between the Garden and Heaven therefore I need Your grace, mercy, strength, direction, and protection every step of the way. My needs are constant therefore my dependency upon You must be constant as well. Amen.

Help Me God - Kathy Troccoli
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-wL7KWO8Ys

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Every False Way

From Your precepts I get understanding; therefore I hate every false way. Psalm 119:104 (New American Standard Bible)

The teachings, truths, principles, commands, and statutes of God’s Word are what will bring discernment, instruction, and right perspectives. Apart from that, I am left on my own to wade through lies, deceptions, disappointment, and falsehood. Instead of freedom and strength, the way of life becomes a tangled web of confusion and failure.

When I choose to believe a lie or wrong perception I am following a false way. When I choose to think the worst of another person I am following a false way. When I choose to let the enemy define and describe life to me I am following a false way. When I choose to replace what God says with what I think I am following a false way. When I put anything or anyone in place of God in my life I am following a false way. When I make choices opposite of what God wants for me I am following a false way. When I allow my emotions to rule me instead of God’s Spirit, I am following a false way. When I look for answers and direction apart from God and the Bible, I am following a false way.

As far as David was concerned, false ways were to be hated! Why? They are destructive, misleading, dangerous, and toxic to our whole being. I can attest to the truth of that because I fight a daily battle to choose between false ways and God’s ways. When I lose the battles (as was the case yesterday) I am devastated and discouraged. When I win the battles (by God’s grace) I am ecstatic! So why, when I know those outcomes do I continue to follow false ways at times? Why in the middle of a battle do I not choose the right path?

I am pondering those questions and more this evening. Like the Apostle Paul I find myself not doing what I want to do and doing what I don’t want to do too much of the time. Like the disciples, my spirit is willing but my flesh is weak. I want the victory and yet I fail. I want others to see Christ in me but the ones who know me best often see the worst. I want to live out of the truths I have taken in over the years but they often seem stuck in my head without making it to my heart.

So where do I start at this point? Scripture! Prayer! Confession! I must go back to what I know to be true and reconnect with my loving heavenly Father. I must stop allowing fear to control me. I must open myself up to trust the ones God has brought into my life as helpers. I must choose to take one more step forward.

Father, I keep coming to you with failure, brokenness, and tears. You keep receiving me with open arms. I am in amazement at such mercy and grace. Amen.

Beautiful One - Tim Hughes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9m8MjI-mhU&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

What Knowing Means

So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, "If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free." John 8:31, 32 (New American Standard Bible)

I have been intrigued with today’s verse….particularly the phrase “know the truth.” Too often, I limit that to mere cognitive knowledge, instead of the life changing and life freeing KNOWING of truth that Jesus was talking about. That is one of the reasons I can take in a lot of truth but fail to see it make any real difference in me. When I really GET something it makes a difference! I could see this but still needed a deeper picture. Something that would make sense to me. So I did some research and learned something about the original meaning of the word “know”. It is derived from the Greek word Ginosko and means to learn, to know, to get a knowledge of, and perceive. In addition to those words, it also means to feel and THAT was the word I needed!

One of the struggles I often have (and I believe many people have) is with feelings and emotions that run contrary to actual truth…in other words, perceived truth! Someone can tell me the truth and yet my core belief will really be from what I am feeling. I can be told to replace the lies with truth but that is ineffective if deep down inside I believe the lies are the truth. For instance, if I sense that someone thinks the worst of me, it doesn’t matter how many people tell me it isn’t true, I will remain a captive to my mindset. In actuality, my own thinking hinders me from being convinced of the truth that will bring freedom. At times, the battle rages profoundly!

Although I am not suppose to base what I believe on my feelings or emotions, God knows that many times I do! So He is letting me know that when I feel the truths I am taking in then I will fully know them and then they will make a difference in my life. My prayer then becomes, “Father, help me to feel the truth of the words being spoken to me. Help me to embrace them and live out of them. Please, convince me.”

It has taken quite a while for this to be a reality for me with regards to the truth about God and what He is really like. Now the work is being done in regards to the people in my life and the relationships I have with them. As I really come to know the truth about them I will then walk in freedom. Freedom from insecurities, suspicions, and self imposed condemnation. In some instances it is a painful process but I continue to rest in the fact that God always finishes what He starts.

Father, You offer me the truth and even cross my path with individuals who also offer me the truth. Help the truth to seem more believable to me than the lies. Amen.

My Redeemer Lives - Nicole C. Mullen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9p4G2GbPYQA&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Truth That Was Skewed

Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy. Proverbs 27:6 (New American Standard Bible)

Wounds go deep. A physical wound may require anything from a bandage to stitches to major reconstructive surgery. An emotional wound is often harder to detect and more difficult to remedy. The first time I ever read this verse I equated it to simply being told the truth by a friend even if the truth hurt. It was a concept that made me squirm. Why? I didn’t like being hurt, even if it was for my good and even if it was necessary. Why? Because I developed a spirit of suspicion toward others at a young age.

Discipline, correction, and punishment in our home was often given out in anger, impatience, irritation, and harshness. Afterwards there was not a time for reassurance of love or welcoming back into good graces. I simply waited until things seemed to be back to “normal” and life went on. Hence, when my actions evoked the displeasure of my parents, the message I took in was that I was unlikeable, burdensome, disgusting, and unloved. There was not an opportunity to develop a healthy attitude when it came to being corrected, even by well meaning people. I didn’t realize until years later that my view of being corrected and my view of the one doing the correcting was skewed. What God had intended to be a picture of His heart for sin, correction, and reconciliation, had quickly been distorted by the father of lies, Satan.

This distortion did not begin or end with my parents. It was the experience they were raised with and it became my own experience when it came to my correcting others. The day I saw my parents in me was a jolt beyond words. But God is assuring me the cycle can be broken. He is not only capable of helping me to see the right view of friend-induced wounds but the right way to be that kind of friend to others. It comes as I admit my own bankruptcy in this area and my own weaknesses. It entails discovering the root of my attitude about myself and others. It demands confession of my wrongs, exchanging many lies for truth, and a desire to see life from God’s perspective. He has given me countless individuals in the Bible who did it right and many who did it wrong. As I read their examples, may they become my personal tutors in the school of life.

Father, I have experienced changes in some areas and have a long way to go in others. Your unchanging love for me helps me to continue this process of growth. Amen.

Make It Real - Mark Lowry
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-B3IeE9K58

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Seeing Where I Am At

Then the LORD God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?” Genesis 3:9 (New King James Version)

The almighty, omniscient God does not ask us questions in order for Him to understand or learn something new. He already knows everything about us from the number of hairs on our head to the deepest secrets of our heart. He knows our past, present, and future. He knows our strengths and our weaknesses. He knows what lies behind our laughter as well as our tears. He knows our insecurities, fears, and apprehensions. He knows our wounds and how we acquired each one of them. He knows our longings and our resignations. And as in the case of Adam, He knows if, when, where, and why we are hiding. It is not for His benefit but ours that He asks questions. He knows that when we see the answer for ourselves it will be a turning point for us.

Several years ago, I looked in the mirror and asked myself and God, “Who am I, who are You, and who are we together?” My world had caved in and I needed to see who I was rather than who I wanted to be. Presently I am asking “where” rather than “why.” Where am I at emotionally, physically, socially, and spiritually? I know where I want to be in each of those areas (perfectionism at its peak) but reality reminds me that I am not there (hence, disappointment). Each time I am aware of my imperfections I cringe, self condemn, and cower. God wants more than that for me.

He wants me to realize I am safe to bring the truth of where I am to Him, because until I do, there will be no change. Seeing where I am broken, empty, and hurting is the first step in wholeness, filling, and healing. Unless I see and acknowledge the truth to God, I will have no idea where I need His redemptive touch in my life. He knows my plight better than I do and loves me as and where I am, but has no intention on leaving me in this state. Even though I live in a fallen world and possess a sin nature, He knows that things can be better than they are….not perfect but improved!

So where do I start? I ask God to reveal the truth about myself to me. As the truth is seen, I write it out (on paper or my computer). The experience of seeing it in print is powerful. Once it is written, I read it out loud to Him and only Him, asking Him for what I need….grace, forgiveness, healing, restoration, and renewal. I ask Him to begin to rebuild my life one acknowledgment of truth at a time. He is ready and I am finally willing!

Father, You see it all. Clarify the truth to me and continue the process of conforming me into the image of Christ. Make me comfortable in coming to You. Amen.

He Knows My Name - Maranatha Singers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXsiWoyjw60&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

The Inward Truth

But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornication, thefts, false witness, slanders. Matthew 15:18,19 (New American Standard Bible)

The Pharisees of Jesus’ day not only wrapped themselves in cloaks of man made laws and traditions but sought to bind others as well. They lived 100% of their lives out of external performance. They went to great lengths to perfect the outside of their existence. That is on what they hinged their walk with God. Right actions, right words, right standards equaled righteousness and right standing with God….to them. But Jesus summed their lives up with the words of Isaiah when He said, “This people honors Me with their lips, but their heart is far away from Me. But in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the precepts of men.”

They had a system for worship that depended on living up to their standards. A defiled person could not worship God, as far as they were concerned. And defilement came with something as small as not washing your hands before you ate. This was one of many beliefs they held to that said the outside of my life affects my internal world and thus affects my relationship with God. They had it backwards!

Jesus wanted them (and us) to know defilement comes from the heart. Every word we speak, every action we take, every sin we commit comes from our heart. Our heart is the very essence of who we are. It is the center of our being….our command post if you will. We are driven by our own lusts, desires, and depravity. The thoughts behind the actions Jesus listed speak volumes to me. Jesus put no difference between hateful hearts and murder, lustful thoughts and adulteries and fornication, covetousness and theft, evil thoughts and lies.

His point? If a person understands where the actions are coming from they will begin to understand where they need God’s transforming touch on their life. In myself, I can change my behavior but it will simply be like changing my clothes. True and lasting change comes through a changed heart and a changed heart is what God desires for me. How? Through the work of His Spirit in me and through the renewing of my mind. When? The moment I acknowledge my problem and turn to Him for the solution.

Father, I have lived as deceived as the Pharisees. It is only before You and through You that I can finally experience a changed heart. Amen.

The Power of Your Love - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PLAWhr1o1A

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Saying and Hearing the Right Thing

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29 (New American Standard Bible)

It is easy to look at this verse as a guide for how I communicate to others and I would do well to use it as such. But this morning God is encouraging me to see myself as the hearer of my own words. His desire is that I make sure what I tell myself is edifying and graceful. Lately I have noticed how often that is not the case and God has graciously been showing me why and how to remedy it.

Unedifying and ungracious words are rooted in the view I have of myself. When I fail to see myself separate from my sin and weaknesses my attitude becomes critical and unloving. It is the exact opposite of hating the sin but loving the sinner. I have heard that phrase many times but was at odds with how to make it a reality and apply it to myself.

God used something I had read in a book to help me see that I build my identity on the worst aspects of myself. The things I do become grounds for believing I am a disgusting, unlovable, unwanted, and undesired person. When fully fostered they result in the thinking that if someone were to really know me and really know what I am like on the inside they would have more than enough reason to walk away and they would leave me. So I learned to keep enough hidden that the people I care the most for wouldn’t leave. It is a cycle that God desires to break and I am getting the first taste of freedom.

He used two things to help me see truth. First, an accountability partnership wherein I committed myself to honesty. Over the course of two years, God brought about a question that my accountability partner would ask that forced me to admit what was really going on inside of me. When I had been through a season of dark moods she would ask, “What triggered it?” The answer exposed my heart and when that happened there was an indescribable freedom and peace that followed. It also allowed me to experience a relationship whereby this individual knew the worst parts of me and chose not to walk away. What a reflection of God’s character. The more I saw that, the more I was able to be honest and open.

The second thing God has used is the realization that my sins and weaknesses do not make me a disgusting person. They are to be hated and dealt with but I am to see myself as a beloved, cherished daughter of God. It is wrong to hate what God cherishes. God is letting me know that as I learn to hate my sin but cherish who I am in Christ, I will begin to have the same ability to demonstrate that toward others.

Father, thank you for one who chose not to walk away and for helping me to see the roots of my own condemning thoughts. I am a recipient of Your love and work. Keep showing me my pathway to freedom. Amen.

Who Am I - Casting Crowns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VU_rTX23V7Q

I welcome your questions and comments to any devotional thoughts. I am honored and delighted to share my journey with you and privileged to hear of yours.

Identifying the Weights

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us. Hebrews 12:1 (New King James Version)

What is it that encumbers, hinders, entangles or ensnares you on a daily basis? What is it that has a grip on you even as you want to lay it aside? For each of us it may be a different area or issue and yet we know that we know it is in us. Those closest to us can see the consequences of its presence in our life even if they don’t fully know every detail. It leaves us with deep feelings of failure, discouragement, and disappointment. Most of the time, the proverbial tunnel appears to have no light the end. Failed attempts to walk in victory leave us wondering if deliverance will ever be our experience in this life.

Let me say, if you (like me) have come to believe that freedom is out of reach for you, than you (like me) have bought in to one of the most damaging lies of the enemy. He knows no child of God is beyond the work and grace of God and yet if he can convince us we are an exception then we remain in bondage. I do not want that to be the end of my story!

Here is the catch though. There are times when we are not fully aware of what our exact weights are. I am coming to learn that what I label as emotional may have a physical component. My mood swings and spiraling thoughts may actually be an indication that there is something physically wrong. If I am going to run my life’s race with endurance then I need to know what it is that keeps tripping me up. So I am on a quest. It involves asking lots of questions, talking to many individuals, and taking the necessary medical steps to determine what is going on in my body as well as my mind. As I do, I saturate the steps with prayer that God would lead me to the right people to help me lay aside the unnecessary weights I carry and tunnels in which I find myself. I firmly believe there is not only a light at the end of this tunnel but a whole new way to live my life.

The bookends God has placed around me at this time are the prayers and unconditional love of others. I marvel at the ministry of the body of Christ. There are individuals who not only want to see me walk in freedom but urge me on in my quest to find it. I thank God for them!

Father, I marvel at the way You work. With hope in my heart I anticipate all that is possible in Christ. Amen.

He Knows My Name
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXsiWoyjw60

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.