Knowing Where I Stand

No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you. John 15:15 (New King James Version)

Intimacy! I still do not fully grasp God’s intimate view of me as His daughter. Through out Scripture I am given terms that define my relationship to Him. His sheep, servant, child, clay, vessel, messenger, vine, bride…..FRIEND! What does that mean? In personal terms it means one who is dear to me, one in whom I delight, one in whose company I long to be, one I talk to often, one who is on my mind a lot, one who takes priority, one whose love I am confident of, one whom I continually get to know, one who shares my heart and theirs, one who shares their world with me, and one I love with abandon.

Nothing hinders my delight in a friendship more than the uncertainty of the other person’s feelings toward me. When I perceive they no longer want a relationship with me I shut down. I no longer feel at ease to approach them because of my own fear of rejection. It is a measure of self protection that can be costly. Where once I may have felt entirely loved and accepted by them, I now expect the opposite. There is such a difference between feeling tolerated and feeling loved. Does it hurt? Yes! Is there a need for healing within myself? Absolutely! God is daily letting me know that whether my thoughts and feelings are justified or not, He must be my constant resort for comfort and renewal. While I may not always know another person’s heart, His heart is openly revealed in His Word.

For years I viewed Him as harsh, unloving, uncaring, and merely tolerating of me. I knew He loved others but felt I was not among the chosen few. How deceived I was! With such a distorted view of Him, I hesitated to seek relationship with Him. The very things that are necessary to be intimate with Him--prayer and being in His Word--were sporadic at best. I could not conceive of the fact that His endearing terms were meant for me as well. Oh, the change that came when the truth finally sunk in. He graciously opened my ears to His words of love, delight, and friendship! It changed the way I viewed Him, related to Him, and heard Him. May I never stop letting Him show me where I might still be blind to His face and deaf to His voice.

Father, all that You have to say to me, I want to digest to the fullest. With You I no longer feel insecure, uncertain, or excluded. You have called me Your friend! Amen.

The Motions - Matthew West
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaHmiFaX_pk&feature=PlayList&p=F0BA1ACD8C2BFC55&index=39

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

My Helper and Prayer Partner

In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. Romans 8:26-27 (New American Standard Bible)

I see two profound aspects about the Spirit of God in today’s passage. He helps me in my weaknesses and intercedes for me according to God’s will. Those truths encourage and comfort me. Why? Because I am in daily need of that help and those prayers. We all are!

The weaknesses that stood out to me yesterday were varied. Offended by something that was said to me and the way it was said, awakened in me a desire to hold on to hurt feelings rather than forgive, release, and move on. His help came in the form of reminding me of the necessity to walk in forgiveness. It is for my good. Holding on to hurt feelings affects me more than the person I choose not to forgive. Waiting until the other person sees and admits to their hurting me before I will forgive is futile at best and damaging at worst. Like one person so aptly put it, it is like me drinking poison and expecting the other person to die! Not good! Cooperation in this area required His help.

Insecurities in a relationship presented the temptation to email a long time friend for the purpose of letting her know I was in doubt of our friendship. This has been a year void of much communication and that tends to bring out the worries in me. It awakens perceptions in me that only serve to put us both in the worst possible light. Again, poison to me! Not sending the email and not spiraling into a pit of doubt and despair required His help. I feel better this morning having NOT sent the email.

As much as I need the help of the Spirit, I am in more need of His prayers. My prayers are often limited by my lack of knowledge, understanding, and view. Therefore I need the prayers of One who knows me intimately, sees life fully, and knows God’s will for everything and everyone. While I have precious prayer partners in my life, non surpass or come close to Him. Like His thoughts for me, His prayers are too numerous to count and too precious to ignore. Amazingly enough, He prays for me whether I ask Him to or not and whether I am aware of His prayers or not.

Father, thank you for the help and prayers of Your Spirit. I am in need of both! Amen.

By Your Side - Tenth Avenue North
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJODOpe_M8E&feature=PlayList&p=F0BA1ACD8C2BFC55&index=38&playnext=7&playnext_from=PL

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

The Ache of Limited Supply

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:17-18 (New International Version)

At the time of this writing of Scripture, crops and live stock were essential to ones survival and well being. A crop failure and loss of animals could be a matter of life and death. So I am struck by the closing remarks. When the supply is gone, when the sustenance of life is unavailable, rejoice and be joyful in God. I cannot say I have ever been completely without food or the bare essentials of life. I have never been in a situation where I literally did not know where my next meal was coming from. Yet as I read this passage my mind went to that which I so often rely upon….the emotional support of others. How well do I do when that support seems to be unavailable? How quick am I to rejoice in my Lord, my God, and my Savior?

This past weekend I enjoyed an opportunity to visit with a number of friends in Michigan. Some I had not seen in a number of months and some I had not seen in decades. The fellowship was sweet. The visits were encouraging. With each visit I felt loved, welcomed, and wanted. I walked away spiritually encouraged and emotionally saturated. Yet when the weekend came to a close and I was on my way back to Indianapolis, it felt as if something was slowly leaking out of me. When I was no longer face to face with sources of encouragement some longings began to resurface. Thoughts of other relationships came to mind and with them came feelings of insecurity, loneliness, and the thought I had been forgotten. Was I rejoicing then? Was I joyful in God my Savior? Not hardly! I was experiencing the all too familiar ache that comes when my external world is unable to sooth my internal world.

God had to remind me that although He will use people in profound ways in my life they cannot be who I look to in order to feel loved, whole, and healed. They cannot be my never ending source. He must be! That is when rejoicing and joy is possible. So when I am looking over the “fields” of familiar faces and the prospects of enjoying their company looks slim, I must realize that God is my present Help and constant Companion. Even when I don’t know where my next emotional meal is going to come from, He is my Source and Sustenance. In that I can rejoice! In that I can be joyful! In that I can rest!

Father, friends mean a lot to me. The absence of them affects me. You are my Friend who sticks closer than a brother. For Your unchanging ways, I praise You and joy in You! Amen.

A Love That Won't Walk Away - Kathy Troccoli
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uQGr4fa2Z0&feature=PlayList&p=F0BA1ACD8C2BFC55&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=32

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

A Shift in the Right Direction

He caused the storm to be still, so that the waves of the sea were hushed. Psalm 107:29 (New American Standard Bible)

The disciples knew what it was like to be in the midst of a storm at sea. A storm that seemed to threaten their very lives and send them into a state of fear and panic. Their assumption was that Jesus didn’t care and wouldn’t help. But all of that changed when He stood and calmed the storm with the mere sound of His voice. They also knew the effects of having their internal storms calmed with His words of “Peace be still.” Whether it is a literal storm at sea or a storm in the midst of our internal world, we long for peace to come and “waves” to be hushed.

The most powerful storms I face in life are those of an emotional nature. I know when one is about to hit because I experience a shift in my moods, feelings, and thoughts. It may not even be a huge experience that brings the shift on but the effects are felt and I know too well the storm that will follow…one of darkness and distress. It is a pattern that I have grown use to but never comfortable with. I don’t like the spiraling. I don’t like the shift. The mere sense of one sends me into a state of foreboding because I don’t know how bad it will get or how long it will last.

Last night was no exception. The fresh realization that a severed relationship would most likely not be restored in this life caused the shift. It followed a few days of what seemed like clear sailing and I really didn’t want to experience another storm. What I didn’t realize was how God would show me something that would actually turn the tide. In the midst of a spiral He brought this thought to mind….if something or someone can shift me in a negative direction, He can certainly shift me in a positive direction. He who calmed the storms at sea could just as easily calm my storm. So I asked Him to do that for me and He did! Within moments the pull downward was stopped and I definitely felt a calm.

To say I was astounded would be an understatement. It was a turning point for me. As one who has known only how to ride out storms I am now seeing an alternative I failed to grasp before. I have no doubt that God will faithfully settle my heart when shifts happen and hush the waves of emotions when they come. The circumstances may not always change but my internal world will as I look to Him to shift me in the right direction.

Father, I have never known such calming. I look to You to do in me what I cannot do without You. Thank you for the stillness that comes from You. Amen.

Praise You in the Storm - Casting Crowns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHdcyue0bSw

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time. 　

Within Its Pages

For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. Romans 15:4 (New American Standard Bible)

Perseverance. That ability to continue on even in the midst of difficulties and mundane days. Encouragement. That which exhorts and comforts me in every situation I face. Hope. My expectation of good, joyful confidence, and a sense that all will work together for good. Where do these things come from? I have many sources I could rely upon to bring me encouragement and hope and help me to persevere, but none compare to the place and power of Scripture!

Within the pages of God’s Word are the recorded lives of people who walked before me and have set examples for me to follow. Sometimes the examples show me what NOT to do and other times the examples become billboards for right living and wise choices. How gracious of God to show me the ends of their stories for my continued benefit.

Within the pages of Scripture are principles for life that are filled with advantages for me if followed. The first three verses of Hebrews 12 give me truths that, if applied, will revolutionize ANY believer’s life. They are: lay aside that which hinders and entangles you, run the race of life with endurance, fix your eyes on Jesus who began and will complete your faith, and consider Him (which means to meditate on and ponder).

Within the pages of the Bible are promises made by God to us that will never change. Promises of His love, forgiveness, presence, power, provision, and protection. Promises that are made and kept with the same passion! They are often conditional upon our obedience but even that is something He will empower us to do. Among the promises are the truths about God’s character and heart as well as His profound wisdom and instruction that He lavishes on all who will learn from Him.

With all of that, Job reminds me in 26:14 that the things God reveals through His Word are merely fringes and slight views of all that He is! My brain cannot take in the whole of His ways or thoughts. They are beyond me and yet I revel in what He graciously helps me to understand. THAT is the reason I now open His Word each morning. There is too much within its pages that I no longer want to miss!

Father, I cannot begin to describe the wonder and magnitude of Your Word. May it go deep into my spirit and transform me from the inside out. You, Your Spirit, and Your Word are my ultimate sources for everything! Amen.

Thy Word - Maranatha Singers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SLHWFpSlq4&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Changing the Direction

Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (New American Standard Bible)

The words stung because they were so true! Dr. Margaret Paul wrote of a woman who wanted others to “fill her up, approve of her, become responsible for her feelings of worth and safety.” It was emotional dependency in a nutshell and I could all too easily slip my name into her example. My first response was shame for having such a tendency reside in me. On the heels of shame was despondency as this continues to be an issue in my life. I have known the pain of losing someone in my life because of it and the fear of losing others as they see it as well. My question to God was, “How do I change? How do I stop looking to people to do this stuff for me and begin living without the disappointment when they can’t or won’t?

I have said it before and I will say it again, God does not bring things to the surface to condemn us but rather to show us where He wants to work. His answer to me wasn’t something I had never heard before…..numerous people have said it to me and numerous people have demonstrated it to me by their example. Breaking free of emotional dependency is found in becoming an encourager to others. Encouragement with a smile, with a hug, with a note, with a conversation, or any number of ways God brings to mind.

God’s picture to me is that I often focus on the flow of relationships going from others to myself. I look to others to make me feel good about myself, to take away pain, to fix me. God’s way is that I would see the flow of relationships going out from me to others. Finding ways to encourage and uplift them. Not for the hopes that it will make me feel better (although it will do that) but rather out of interest for them.

It is one of God’s many kingdom principles. Extend to others what I so badly crave for myself and know that God will faithfully meet every need I have. A friend who has known me most of my life once said, “Pam, because of the things that happened in your childhood, you have spent many years trying to figure out ways to get your emotional needs met.” She was right and what I am learning is that none of those ways work. God is once again giving me the answer to my dilemma…..live connected to Him and focus on others. Rather than sit at the table of life frantically looking for what I can consume, He is nudging me to walk around that table and begin serving others. As always, His ways are higher than my own and they work!

Father, purify my heart and my motives. Help me to be the encourager You have called and equipped me to be. Thank you for every example You have put in front of me. I have watched others and now it is time to follow in their steps. Amen.

Make Me a Servant - Maranatha Singers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rznoe3zKxM

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Where’s the Peace?

Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful. John 14:27 (New American Standard Bible)

That which Jesus gives to us is always irrevocable. The same peace He gave to His disciples in the upper room on the very night He was to be arrested and beaten, is the peace He gives to each one who comes to Him for salvation. No matter the circumstances of one’s life, no matter the situations they find themselves in, no matter what, the peace that He gives is within us. Just as the stars are still present during the day when they cannot be seen, so is the peace Christ gives even when it cannot be felt or experienced.

What exactly is the peace Christ gives? A state of tranquility, harmony, security, safety, prosperity, assurance, quietness, restfulness, and being undisturbed. If that is the case, why does it seem like that is missing from our life at times? It is not missing, it is just not apparent. The reason for that sense of loss varies, but it all comes down to other things clouding our view and dulling our senses to its presence and reality.

I woke this morning with a fresh sense of peace….Christ’s peace was profound. Why? There was the absence of turmoil. Thoughts of rejection, distrust, loneliness, and frustration were not marking my path. Relationships seemed right. Truth was prevailing. Skewed thinking was arrested. It was so intense for me because so often it doesn’t seem to be my experience. Why? Because I have a sin nature and an enemy of my soul who is intent and persistent at seeking to destroy me.

My answer to this dilemma is to daily practice dieing to myself, opening my clenched fists to all that I should give over to God, resisting the enemy when his calling cards are present, centering my thoughts on the Philippians 4:8 list, turning my focus toward the One who gave me peace to start with, seeking opportunities to encourage others, and living out of the abundance of all that God continually gives to me.

As a child of God, I am called to walk in the light not the darkness. I am called to love others not judge them. I am called to embrace who I am in Christ. All that God calls me to do He equips me to do. When anything gets in the way of that, His peace is still in me but I am far from experiencing the reality of it. When that is the case, it is imperative that I seek out the cause and remedy the situation God’s way. The result will always be a fresh realization of what has been in me all along….peace.

Father, thank you for the profoundness of Your peace in me this morning. I have settled for less but desire to change. Amen.

Spirit of the Living God
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShhUWVKZnEk

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.