The Length and Depth of Grief

And when the days of his weeping and deep grief were past. Genesis 50:4a Amplified Bible

In the past I have witnessed vast proportions of grief in the lives of dear friends. Loss of parents, loss of pregnancies, loss of children, loss of relationships, loss of jobs, loss of health. Their pain was profound and worked through in the privacy of their own thoughts and hearts. While friends and loved ones sought to comfort, they were still left with many hours of solitude. Some are still in the throws of their grief and loss wondering if they will ever experience life as “normal” again.

Sometimes the most difficult part of pain is our misunderstanding of all that it entails. Uncertainty of what our feelings should be and how long the whole thing will take, leave us floundering.

I found comfort in Joseph’s example today. Today’s verse followed a 70 day long mourning for the death of his father. 70 days! That is a little over 2 months. And I noticed it was simply the deep grief that was past. That is not to say the grief was entirely gone. After a life time of loving someone, years of being separated, and then the joys of being reunited, how could anyone think he would walk away from grief after a mere week or two? And yet I hear account after account of people who think it should be that easy and that quick.

Grief is a process and God accomplishes much through it. We learn a lot about ourselves and about Him during that time. The deeper the grief the more profound the lessons and the greater the possibility of future ministry that will stem from it. But it takes time! The loss of my mother in February of 2000 led me into a grief process that lasted a year. The grief from the loss of a mentor in the spring of 2006 took several years to subside. While both were extremely painful they yielded rich treasures from my Father’s hand.

Today I share Isaiah 51:3 with all those who are presently experiencing their own valley of grief. “The LORD will surely comfort Zion, and will look with compassion on all her ruins; He will make her deserts like Eden, her wastelands like the garden of the LORD. Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing.”

Father, I trust You to make the joy, gladness, thanksgiving, and singing as profound and deep as the grief has been. Embrace my friends! Amen.

Help Me, God - Kathy Troccoli
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-wL7KWO8Ys

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Callings and Desires

Paul, a bondservant of Jesus Christ, called to be an apostle, separated to the gospel of God. Romans 1:1 (New King James Version)

Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You. Psalm 73:25 (New King James Version)

I want Paul’s ability to identify himself according to God’s description and Asaph’s desire for God above all others. Did it mean a perfect life for either? No! Did it mean struggles ended and bliss marked their every waking moment? Absolutely not! They each had their own set of difficulties, weaknesses, and failures but those things did not define them or consume them. If I were to put these verses into my own words they might read something like this. “Pam, enslaved to Jesus, called to teach, and singled out for God’s message of salvation to others. No one but You, O, God!”

My first thought after reading both these verses was a strong awareness of how far short I fall of the reality of both. I am aware of my own actions and attitudes that do not portray the fact that I am His called and separated servant. I know all too well those desires that compete with my desire toward God. I am humbled and broken by the truth. But I am also aware of God’s desire and ability to bring me to the place whereby these verses mark my path and my life. My failures and shortcomings are not the end of the story. It is not too late for me to turn these verses into my own prayer request! God is still in the process of transforming me.

Sometimes we convince ourselves that we cannot possibly live up to the walk of others. It is like they have an inside track to God and godly living and we keep missing it. Comparisons are dangerous and deadly. Change comes when I become more enamored with the Creator than with His creations. Appreciate them? Yes! Learn from them? Yes! But my patterning, dependency, longing, trust, and focus must be primarily on Christ. If I am trying to get needs met through people, fulfillment out of opportunities, and pleasure out of circumstances I am only living on the scraps of what God offers me. I end up living with a frustrated, deprived spirit. But if God is my desire and the One I long after, then being His servant becomes my daily reality. When I walk in agreement with God and have my strongest desire toward Him I am on a path with no comparison!

Father, be my desire above all others. Help me to fully live out my calling as Your servant! Amen.

With All I Am - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0AyxEMFRbI

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

What I Do and Don't Know

Behold, this day I am going the way of all the earth. And you know in all your hearts and in all your souls that not one thing has failed of all the good things which the LORD your God spoke concerning you. All have come to pass for you; not one word of them has failed. Joshua 23:14 (New King James Version)
　
Joshua’s words to the children of Israel as he came to the close of being their leader, are words full of assurance for me. They are reminders to me of the faithfulness of God. I need those reminders as a close friend of mine goes through some foreboding circumstances in her life. As she shared those circumstances with me I found myself becoming fearful for her and deeply concerned. It didn’t take long for the “what if’s” to start cropping up in my mind. That is when I had to begin acknowledging what I did and didn’t know.

I don’t know how her story will end. I don’t know what her future looks like. But I do know what God has spoken concerning her and I know not one word of His promises will fail. What has He spoken? He has promised to meet all her needs, to never leave her, to guard and guide her, to fulfill His purposes for her, to glorify Himself in everything that transpires in her life, to uphold her with His grace, to strengthen her, to protect her, to give her beauty for her ashes, to be her constant companion and wise counselor, to equip her for what is ahead, to establish her goings, to do a good work in her, and to hold her in His arms like no person is able to do. God knows her story from beginning to end and this is simply a chapter in comparison to the whole.

I know too that He loves her deeply and has not allowed anything into her life that has not first passed through His hands. Her circumstance took her by surprise but it was no surprise to God. Although people were involved in the process God has been and will continue to be in control.

These are the truths I will ponder in the weeks and months ahead. They are the truths I will continually share with my friend. They are the truths I will voice in prayer on her behalf. And they are the truths I will let sink deep into my bedrock of thoughts in preparation for the day I face circumstances that cause me to press in harder on God.

Father, keep reminding me and my friend of the kind of God You are and the kind of promises You have made. Amen.

Still - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXywFuTf65I&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Seeing the Promises

For I will take you out of the nations; I will gather you from all the countries and bring you back into your own land. I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. Ezekiel 36:24-26 (New International Version)

I claim the promises this morning! Many were the times I could not read Scripture and see that what God was saying to His people in the Old and New Testaments He was saying to ME as well. It was like reading someone else’s mail. That is no longer the case. Now when I read His Word I know what He is saying to me and what area of my life to appropriate His words.

Much like the children of Israel, I have spent years trying to walk in someone else’s land and make their journey my journey. It was easier to copy their ways and thinking rather than allow God to bring me into my own, unique place within His kingdom. I had my idols. While the children of Israel had their idols of wood and stone, I had my idols of flesh. With the acknowledgement of that, God has been in the process of bringing me into my “own” land and place with Him and also freeing me from my idols and propensity toward idolatry.

I have been influenced by significant people and my life will always bear their marks and fingerprints, but God’s intent is that I become and remain an individual of authenticity and originality. To be known as the One He rescued and redeemed for His own name’s sake. That which had a profound hold on me, is loosened only by His hand. To put it quite frankly, He WILL finish every work He has started in me. I have His word on it! I embrace His promises to me.

People often give up or live with a sense of resignation when there is no hope. They can’t see changes in their life or their circumstances so they conclude there are no changes. Often the processes of God are drawn out over years and that which is able to keep us hopeful of a complete story are the promises found in the Bible. His Word is meant to be personal and to be approached with expectancy. Each time I open it I know that He has a word for me. This morning was no exception. His promise tells me the end of my own story and the hope of that promise renews my strength and stride. In moments like this I have no trouble seeing His involvement and interest in my growth and development as His child. That which eluded me for years has now become very clear and very present.

Father, the way You are carving out a path for me to walk is beyond words. Thank you for renewing my hope and my spirit. Amen.

Ancient Words - Michael W. Smith
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vmTkXNpwzs

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Seeing a Heart of Stone

And I will give them one heart, and put a new spirit within them And I will take the heart of stone out of their flesh and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in My statutes and keep My ordinances and do them. Then they will be My people, and I shall be their God. Ezekiel 11:19, 20 (New American Standard Bible)

A number of things come to mind when I think of a heart of stone. Hard, unchanging, immovable, cold, lifeless, dark, rigid, fixed, and set in ones ways are just starters for me. This passage is full of hope and promise yet there are times when the condition of my own heart keeps the hope and promise at a distance. Times when I look at the people around me and feel like an observer rather than a participant in the full scheme of life. Times when relating with their joy, delight, and pleasure eludes me.

How can it be that mountain top experiences in the Christian life end up being followed by such low valley experiences? When I am excited about something I feel I can conquer anything and walk victoriously during the next time of testing. When the “high” seems to evaporate as quickly as it came and the tests are upon me the once strong confidence seems to go as well. When I am called upon to walk out newly learned or revisited truth and I fail, THAT is when I see my heart of stone. When love does not mark my path in light of others, THAT is when I see my heart of stone. When mindsets and thought patterns veer away from the Philippians 4:8 list, THAT is when I see my heart of stone. When I hold on to wrong attitudes, THAT is when I see my heart of stone. How can it be when one has been given the promised new Spirit, that a heart of stone still exists?

The One who inspired these words to be penned through Ezekiel centuries ago is whispering them to me anew. I bring Him my doubts and questions. He gives me assurance that the journey is not over yet and He is still fully invested in my growth process. He hasn’t given up on me even when I wonder why. He hasn’t considered me a lost cause or a hopeless wreck even when I am tempted to. He doesn’t respond with a lecture, pet phrase, or stern look even when I expect Him to. Rather He invites me to come to Him and find answers, reassurance, and hope. I am not alone. I am not forsaken. I am not forgotten. I am loved and I am in need of Him.

Father, You haven’t closed Your arms or turned Your back on me yet, nor will You. You continue to woo me to Yourself. Amen.

Change My Heart, Oh God
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYD65-nLDPo&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Words to Live By

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5,6

Probably aside from John 3:16 and Psalm 23, this part of Proverbs is one of the most familiar verses to many people. While many of us have it memorized and can easily quote it, do we flesh it out in our daily lives? Is it evident in the way we speak, respond, and act? When the storms of life hit, the way becomes unclear, or everything seems to be against us, do we take the words literally as our banner of proclamation and maxim? This morning I want to pull these phrases apart and examine them more closely.

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart. Have full confidence and reliance in God. Often times we put more confidence in people and what they can do for us. We run to them for comfort, advice, assurance, protection, and strength. Take the most profound person you know and they are still limited in what they can do for you. What help they are able to give you is temporary at best (unless they are directing you back to God). That is why when you call them and pour out your heartache to them, the feelings of sadness and loneliness return as soon as you hang up the phone.

Lean not unto thine own understanding. We are so good at trying to figure things out for ourselves. We use our own thoughts, our own feelings, our own interpretation of things to assist us through the mine fields of our life. We rack our brains into the late hours of the night or early hours of the morning mulling over every possible solution we can come up with. We somehow feel the answer lies in us. We believe if we think it through long enough we will come up with a way to fix our life and move forward.

In all thy ways acknowledge him. Recognize and admit the truth about God. Stand on the reality of His power, presence, and protection available to you. The more difficult our situation the more necessary it is to proclaim the truth about Him.

He will direct your paths. We are not on our own. He is involved in the process of bringing us through this life. His promise rests on His character but is also conditional to our trusting, leaning not, and acknowledging. May this passage become my maxim for life!

Father, saying the words can come easy. I must choose to take each step spelled out in the passage. Help me to do that! Amen.

Do I Trust You, Lord - Twila Paris
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSopilUouw8

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Asking, Accepting, and Receiving

Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done. And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him. Luke 22:42, 43 (English Standard Version)

I find two interesting things transpiring in this passage. First, Jesus is asking for the removal of something from His life. Many thoughts arise pertaining to what is meant by the “cup” and I am in no position to explain what it means. What I am centering in on is the fact that He asked for its removal. It reminds me of the Apostle Paul asking for his thorn in the flesh to be removed. In both cases, the answer was “No.” God will not remove from our life that which He purposes to be in our life. That which He will use and work through. Removal comes only as God deems it necessary and in line with His ways, will, plans, and purposes. Both Paul and Jesus entrusted their situations to God and desired God’s will to be carried out.

When God’s response is “no” or “wait” it is imperative that we follow the examples of these men and others like them. We must allow God to speak the words of Isaiah 55:8,9 to us, “ For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thought.” God alone knows what He will bring out of the very thing of which He denies the removal. He knows the eternal purposes He will fulfill. Although there may be tears in the midst of bending the knee, when it is all said and done we will come to acknowledge His way was best.

The second thing that stands out to me is that strengthening for Jesus came in the form of an angel. Often are the times when strength and encouragement come to us through the hands of a chosen vessel of God. If Jesus was willing and able to receive the strength in this way, then I can give myself permission to do the same. While I have never (to my knowledge) been strengthened by an angel, I have numerous individuals who come to mind as those who strengthened me. They strengthened me with their words, Scripture, prayer, listening ears, and open arms. They strengthened me with comforting thoughts as well as tough love. They were the hands, heart, and face of Jesus to me in many ways and I lift up a prayer of praise and thanks for them today. How much my life would lack without them.

I leave you with two thoughts. First, Scripture gives us permission to ask for the removal of things from our life as long as we leave the answer to God and desire His will above our own or others. Second, be willing to receive the encouragement God sends in the ways He chooses to send it.

Father, thank you for the times You removed the things I asked. Thank you for the times they remained. Thank you for the ones You have used to encourage me. All three means have shaped my life profoundly. Amen.

Knees to the Earth - Watermark
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AQL8Zk2sOk&feature=fvw

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.