Finding It In Him

You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11 (New American Standard Bible)

I see three things in this verse that I very much want in my own life and so does God. They are God’s direction, fullness of joy, and pleasures forevermore. What a far cry from those qualities that use to be prevalent in my mind when I thought of what God intended for me! Something is wrong when more attention is given to outward show rather than what is going on internally.

For years I could not figure out why standards, rules, and areas of separation seemed to be my main focus and that of other believers. Then it dawned on me it was because they were so assessable. It was easier to compare myself with another person’s actions and I could always find someone who didn’t quite measure up to my “spirituality.” But the heart is another matter. That is a place that cannot be compared to another person. That is the place where God alone sees all. And that is the place from where the outward behavior must stem. No wonder God said that those who compare themselves among themselves are not wise. Comparisons in that way do not please Him. Honesty in the inward parts does!

If I see one capsule theme for this verse it is found in the word presence. That word epitomizes cherished fellowship, undivided attention, genuine love, and a desire to be close. When those words characterize our walk with God we will be the recipients of direction, joy, and pleasure in abundant and ongoing measures! But far too often we look to people to give us what we long for instead of going to the only true Source.

The best thing that ever happened in my Christian life was when God began to direct me to people who in turn pointed me back to Him as my source for those things. It followed decades of thinking I would be alright if I could just bond with the right person. Time and time again I found they could not give me what I craved the most, in the amounts I wanted, and at the constant level I wanted it. It was like standing near a sprinkler with a cup in hand trying to catch a few drops of water to quench my thirst. When all the while the Fountain of Living Water beaconed me to come to Him.

It took a long time for me to realize my problem was not that I had needs. My problem was where I looked to have the needs met and satisfied. For me, it was in relationships with Christians whom I most admired and wanted to be like. God had to show me He was the One for me to look to and He wanted to bring out the uniqueness of who He created me to be. Am I still learning? You bet! But I treasure the journey I am on to find Him as my All in All.

Father, I did not always know it was You I needed. Not just for eternal life but for abundant life. Quench my deepest thirst with Yourself. Amen.

God-guided Conversations

Nathan then said to David, "You are the man!” 2 Samuel 12:7 (New American Standard Bible)

The prophet, Nathan, was sent to David with a specific message concerning David’s sin. For close to a year, David harbored a “secret” of great proportion. He had committed adultery as well as murder. As far as he was concerned, no one but Bathsheba knew of the adultery. The murder was not even known by her. Nathan was used of God to pinpoint those very things to David. He had no trouble determining that Nathan had been sent to him by God with a message meant for his ears and David’s response was Psalm 51.

While I have never had the experience of having a person sent to me to reveal a “hidden” sin, I have known what it was like to talk with someone and have them pinpoint an area in my life that God was dealing with. Yesterday, I went to talk with a friend. We had set up a time for this talk and yet I wasn’t sure what we were going to talk about. She has been helping me wade through some issues but none of those issues were needing to be discussed. On the way to her house I simply asked God to guide our conversation. THAT is exactly what He did.

We talked for about thirty minutes on various things and then the conversation took a turn. Within moments she brought up a subject that God had been dealing with me in and she had NO idea the hugeness of it. As a matter of fact, as she began to pinpoint this area she wasn’t sure how I was going to receive her words but knew instinctively that she was to say what she said. I was receptive but stunned at the realization that THIS was going to be our God-guided conversation. I saw both the message and the messenger as being from Him and that made it easier to receive what was being said. Her coffee table became an altar of prayer for us and I walked away shaking my head in amazement at how God works. Last year another person had tried to tell me the same things but it has taken this long for me to finally be receptive. God has been graciously patient.

I count it precious that He would carve out a time for a conversation in order to once again target a place of needed change in my life. I now head into a new week with a sense of expectancy over what He will be doing to bring about that change. He has already promised me the grace to walk in obedience and given me the desire to do it. Since I know that His ways and thoughts are higher than my own, I know the end of this story is bound to be amazing!

Father, You have spoken clearly to me through the mouth of a friend….AGAIN. I thank you for the message given and Your presence that goes with me into this area of change. Amen.

Faith or Fear?

All the peoples, nations and men of every language fell down and worshiped the golden image that Nebuchadnezzar the king had set up. Daniel 3:7 (New International Version)

We were created in the image of God and part of that creation is the ability and desire to worship. As I read the book of Daniel I ask myself what would cause so many people to bow down to a statue? Was it the realization that this statue cared for them, created them, and deserved their worship? Was it the belief that this statue could protect them, bless them, and love them? Were they able to ascribe power, wisdom, and majesty to this statue? Was their worship out of faith, passion, and truth? The answer to all these questions is “no.” Their worship was driven and displayed by one source……fear.

Nebuchadnezzar used the one thing that he knew would control others. He threatened them with being thrown into a furnace of blazing fire if they did not bow down and worship the image of his creation. He was not interested in their heart but rather their conformity. Driven by pride and an ever growing ego, he knew the right buttons to push and for the most part it worked.

Oh, how different our worship of God should be. God desires our worship of Him to be out of faith not fear. Love not dread. Passion not apathy. To see God’s character and proclaim praise to Him because of it is at the heart of true worship. It is not an outward posturing but rather an inward prostrating of ourselves before a righteous, holy, loving, powerful, and compassionate God. That is not possible outside of having a daily intimate, personal walk with Him. Knowing Him and being known by Him is what opens the door for true worship.

How I missed that realization for decades. Reducing my walk with Him to an impersonal list of does and don’ts, harboring judgmental attitudes toward others, modifying my behavior while neglecting my heart, performing rather than praising, all kept me at arms length from a God who longed to draw me close. Like the people of Nebuchadnezzar’s day I knew what it was like to live a fearful Christian life. Fearful of other’s opinions and the consequences of their displeasure. But with faith came freedom.

Father, You delivered me from the fear that kept me from really knowing and worshiping You. I now bow to You for the right reasons. Amen.

Necessary Conversations

Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. James 5:16 (King James Version)

I use to read this verse and limit it to simply admitting my sin to others. This morning the Lord is broadening the scope for me and helping me to see that faults include sins, weaknesses, deviation from truth, skewed thinking, and a host of other things I can so easily keep to myself. My healing and wholeness is dependent upon not only walking in honesty with God but also in honesty with others. Willingly being open, authentic, transparent, and vulnerable with individuals whom God is using in my life. It is not His intent that I become an “open book” to every person I meet, but rather to learn to confide in the ones who are God’s safety net for me.

At one time I would have thought I already do that, but recently God has shown me where I still have the tendency to be selective in what I share. Openness for me is hindered when I fear disclosure will result in rejection, a loss of love, or loss of respect. I buy into the lie that my weaknesses or struggles are not worth talking about with others. It is not just a matter of pride. It is a matter of sensing shame and disapproval in myself. I keep thinking I am suppose to be at an age where talking with others is no longer necessary. That allowing another person to walk me through issues is forbidden. Even as I write out the thoughts I can see all the lies that abound and how they have confined me to something God does not want for me.

God’s solution? Talk to the people He has given me to talk to and take the matter to Him in prayer. He is the One who will ultimately reveal the necessary truth. It may be He shows me the answer and it may be He shows the other person the answer. Either way we each get the benefit of seeing God work! While the joy will be ours the credit and glory will be His. Seeking another person’s advice and help does NOT mean I am replacing God with them….although that is an area I must continue to watch. It is simply operating within the boundaries He has established. My “lone ranger” mentality must give way to community. As a member of the body of Christ, it is imperative that I stop living as an amputated limb!

Father, I need You and I need the ones You graciously give to me. Heal those places of distrust and insecurity that abide in me. You are my true Healer but You have chosen to bring others into the operating room of my soul. Thank you. Amen.

Redemption and Reunions

Joseph said to them, “Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God? But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive. Now therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.” And he comforted them and spoke kindly to them. Genesis 50:19-21 (New King James Version)

The countless offenses Joseph forgave became the distinct backdrop to an exquisite portrait of grace and mercy. Joseph was not in denial. He plainly stated the evil intent of his brothers along with the sovereign working of God. After years of separation from family and imprisonment, Joseph came to see that God had never taken His eye or His hand off Him. What was meant to destroy him actually became the passage way to his life’s calling and vocation. By the time he was reunited with his brothers he was ready to provide for them, comfort them, and speak kindly to them.

I believe much of this was contingent on the fact that Joseph had fully embraced the truth that God meant the things in his life for good. It was not just a lofty thought to him. While his life entailed much pain, sorrow, and tears, he knew where the path ultimately led…..the saving of many lives including his and his family’s. He knew that only God could bring about such a story of redemption. That only God could bring beauty from his ashes. His incredible reunion with his brothers hinged on his personal connection with God and the acceptance of God’s plan for his life.

Within that context hope is born in me this morning. I am daring to believe that God could do such a work in me as He did in Joseph. He can redeem ANY story in my life that I allow Him to redeem. He can bring about reunions with individuals that I consider impossible. He can transform my internal world into a thing of beauty.

Joseph’s story far exceeds anything I have ever faced and that in turn helps me to see the possibilities of God’s intervention on my behalf. That is one of the reasons there were so many stories recorded in Scripture. It is so we can know that our stories too can be redeemed by the same loving, personal, devoted, and capable God.

Father, it is with joy and confidence that I offer to You my own story. Do Your work in me. Thank you for what I will see come of this. Amen.

Answering the Questions

And in the presence of his associates and the army of Samaria, he said, "What are those feeble Jews doing? Will they restore their wall? Will they offer sacrifices? Will they finish in a day? Can they bring the stones back to life from those heaps of rubble—burned as they are?" Nehemiah 4:2 (New International Version)

The decision to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem in the days of Nehemiah came up against criticism and skepticism by the enemies of God and His people. The same will be true for us whenever we take steps to draw closer to God, allow Him to work in our life, or begin rebuilding areas in our life. We have an enemy (Satan) who will be the quickest and loudest to bombard us with questions which are intended to discourage, distract, and dishearten us, but we can take refuge in the truths of God’s Word and the truth of Who is actually working in us!

Two questions stand out to me from today’s verse that reflect some wrong mindsets I once held. “Will they restore their wall?” and “Can they finish in a day?“ Many have been the times when I thought I was one to do the restoring of areas in my life. If things had gone awry and I had gotten off tack I was under the impression that it was up to me to “fix” myself or my situation. Whether it was an area of bondage, addictions, sinful habits, character flaws, or insecurities, I actually believed I needed to somehow muster up the internal fortitude to bring about desired change. What I learned was THAT NEVER WORKS. While I may see some change, it will never be deep enough or last long enough. God is the One who promises to do a new work in me and God is the One who will bring about the transformation. It is true I must be willing to let Him work and cooperate with Him as He works, but He is the Restorer of my life, soul, and spirit. Therefore, I do not have to buy into the lie of Satan or myself that it is all up to me. Just as God enabled the Jews to work and protected them as they worked, He will do the same for me (and you).

At the same time, that which took years to “mess up” will certainly not be restored in a single day! That, too, was a lie that had to go. My spiritual journey, as well as yours, will last a lifetime. If I don’t understand that simple truth I will set myself up for disappointment and disillusionment when the change I am looking for is not quickly forthcoming. It is imperative that I look for the small changes that God brings about on a daily basis. That from time to time I look back and see advancements that have been made. I hang on the words of my Abba Father who promised to finish the work He started in me and when that is the case there will be NO doubt who did the work! He alone deserves the praise and glory for all that He does!

Father, I trust You for that which needs to be done in me and I trust You to work within Your perfect time table. Amen.

One Week

I am challenged this morning with the verse that says, "Be still and know that I am God." Much needs to be stilled in me internally, therefore, I am sensing a need to shut off my computer, set books aside, set CDs aside, and become still for one week. I covet your prayers as I am not sure all that will come of this.

Seeking Him,
Pam