Learning Where to Stand

And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man’s wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power; that your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God. I Corinthians 2:4,5 (King James Version)

I get excited when I come across people who have a dynamic and intimate walk with God. I see characteristics in them that I want in my own life and before I know it I am in a struggle to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus…the author and finisher of my faith. They suddenly take center stage in my thinking and have much of my attention. I hang on their every word, read any book they have suggested, follow their advice, and rub shoulders with them as often as I can. The problem with that is my Christian life becomes too entangled and tied to a person. Without meaning to I begin to look to them for answers, direction, and growth. While my goal may be to get to know God better, I end up going about it the wrong way. In the end, God has to expose my idolatry and take me through a painful time of correction, repentance, and restoration.

Paul had such a desire for believers to base their faith on God’s wisdom and work. He sought to point people to God as their source for faith and growth through his life, words, actions, and message. For someone to become enamored with him instead of with God would have been tragic in his eyes as well as in God‘s eyes. That is why he often referred to himself as a vessel, a servant, a prisoner, and a messenger.

How I must take Paul’s words to heart each day. For if I do not guard my heart I will find myself once again in the throws of following the creature more than the Creator. Beth Moore’s words are a wake up call to me when she says, “People crave a human worth worshiping.” Ouch! That craving has side tracked and side swiped me more times than I care to admit. It is one of the hugest battles I fight on a daily basis.

So where is my hope and answer? In God! As He has shown me this aspect of myself, He has also presented Himself as my Healer. He redirects my steps, adjusts my focus, and woos me back to Himself. He is faithful in contrast to my unfaithfulness. He sees my desire for change and will continue to bring about that change.

Father, keep showing me what hinders me from abandoning myself to You and abiding in You. Help me to worship You alone. Amen.

In Christ Alone - Brian Littrell
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Alm6YWm-zfc&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Precious thoughts

The other day I bought the book DEAR JESUS. It was written by Sarah Young who also wrote JESUS CALLING. I want to share with you the first entry I read at random while in the store and this sold me on the book! I long to fully embrace the words and live out of them. Enjoy! Love, Pam

***I want you to be all Mine. I am weaning you from other dependencies. Your security rests in Me alone: not in other people, not in circumstances.

***Dear Jesus,

I am grateful for the security You provide in my life. The world has become such a frightening, insecure place! If You were not my Savior, I don't know how I would cope with all the uncertainty. However, I am not yet weaned from other dependencies: I want to depend on You plus other people and favorable circumstances.

Beloved, I am pleased by your candid admission. That gives Me an entrance into your life, so I can work with you on this matter. I'm not asking you to become a hermit or otherwise isolate yourself from other people. On the contrary, I want My children to help and love one another. One of the main ways I bless people is through the loving acts of others. However, you need to remember that every good and perfect gift is ultimately from Me, even if it comes to you through human hands.

The main danger of misplaced dependence is that it can border on idolatry. If you let you basic well-being depend on another person's behavior, you elevate that one to a position that only I should occupy. This is not only displeasing to Me; it's destructive. Because people are imperfect and unpredictable., your life may come to resemble a roller-coaster ride; subject to the whims and moods of another person. Even worse, your intimacy with Me will be hindered by your preoccupation with someone else. I deserve first place in your heart!

***I want you to rejoice in Me at all times, in all kinds of circumstances You may ask freely for whatever you desire, bringing Me your petitions with thanksgiving . Regardless of how I answer your requests, this prayer transaction comes with a promise; My Peace will guard your heart and your mind, keeping you close to Me.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights...James 1:17

Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Revelation 2:4

Rejoice in the Lord always...in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7

The Power of Your Love - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ga6Qtxzd6vk

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Who Has Our Attention?

For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10 (New American Standard Bible)

The one we seek favor from and the one we strive to please will be the one we serve. Our attention will be on them and our actions will be geared toward them. They will have our allegiance as well as our following. Paul knew that as a bearer of the Gospel, he could not afford to seek the favor and pleasure of people because it would get in the way of what he was called to say and do. His message had to stay untainted as well as his motivation, mindset, and ministry. Some would have tried to silence him or at the least mold his message into what they wanted. Paul was not interested in embracing their agendas. He had one Master to serve. One to whom he would be a bond-servant. That was Christ!

For some, this verse would not be a problem to live out. Their sites are set on Christ and their dependency is built upon Him. They rely upon Him, lean on Him, and stay close to Him on a consistent basis. They are able to interact with others, minister to others, and be with others without it robbing them of their loyalty to God. There is never a swaying of their attention. I admire them and envy their strength.

For me, one of my greatest weaknesses has to do with seeking the favor, approval, attention, and pleasure of others. Why? Because I can so often attempt to derive my significance from them. With everything in me, I want to look to God for that but find myself drawn toward the need for others to instill it in me. For others to love me. For others to give me my value, worth, and identity. My needs are legitimate but where I am turning to get those needs met is not. My prayer to God on a regular basis is to help me shift my needs on to Him. To turn my attention and my desires toward Him.

God has graciously helped me make progress in this area but He and I both know that there is much more progress to be made. As He continues to probe the deepest caverns of my mind and soul, He is helping me to understand the basis for my looking to people and the growing dependency I can have on them. He desires my freedom even more than I do. His intent is that He becomes my focal point with undivided allegiance and attention. People will always be a part of my life (that is one way God chooses to work) but I want to come to the place where I am His bond-servant in every sense of the word. Living my life totally committed and totally connected to Him spiritually, physically, and emotionally.

Father, touch my life and redeem my story. Thank you that Your grace and Your hand run deeper than the most ingrained tendencies in me. Amen.

Above All Else
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGLGA78vpwA&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

God's Desire

And ye shall know that I am the Lord GOD. Ezekiel 23:49 (King James Version)

The very heart of Scripture and the very heart of God are found in this verse. All that God does is done to reveal Himself to us. Ezekiel chapter 23 is a difficult chapter to read. It is explicit in its detail of God’s people facing the consequences of their idolatry and spiritual adultery. It repeats the phrase of their minds being alienated from the ones they once ran after and God’s mind being alienated from them. A quick read through would leave a person thinking God had totally given up on His people. But the last verse reveals the truth. All is done….all is said….all is brought about so that in the end He is known. Contrary to what we may sometimes think, God is not playing a spiritual game of hide and seek with us. He is not hard to find if we know how to look for Him.

He tells us to look for Him with all of our heart, soul, and mind. That is not possible if our hearts and allegiance are divided. If our lives are filled with other things and our interests are in other places. He will not share His glory with any one or any thing else. God desires our undivided attention so that we can realize His undivided attention toward us. That desire that He has placed within each one of us for intimacy in relationship reveals what He longs for us to find in Him.

I don’t want my mind to be severed from the One who loves me so much! Sometimes God has to allow me to become busy enough, distracted enough, and empty enough to realize I am missing Him. It is then that He begins to probe my heart and show me the areas that need His touch. He is after my genuine, authentic, personal walk with Him. It is too easy to try to duplicate someone else’s walk with Him. God does not want that! He wants me to know Him in a way no one else does. His relationship with me is meant to be a one of a kind relationship. He has no twins!

What He wants me to understand is that my life is worth living and the person He created me to be is worth being known by Him. He wants me to know that I must relate to Him on my own individual level. I want to know and experience Him in an unduplicated, undiluted way. I want to know Him in a real way….His way!

Father, I once again take off the masks and other things I find so easy to hide behind. I can only know You when I come to You as myself. Amen.

Knowing You, Jesus - Robin Mark
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Q_YQPa66kk

I welcome your questions and comments to any devotional thoughts. I am honored and delighted to share my journey with you and privileged to hear of yours.

What Does It All Mean?

I the LORD will answer him who comes, according to the multitude of his idols, that I may seize the house of Israel by their heart, because they are all estranged from Me by their idols. Therefore say to the house of Israel, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD: Repent, turn away from your idols, and turn your faces away from all your abominations. Ezekiel 14:4-6 (New King James Version)

In the summer of 2006 God severed a person whom I had become dependent upon from my life. At the time, I called it the removal of an idol. All ties were cut, all communication ceased. The year that followed entailed a lot of tears and painful choices. One of those choices was to shred and burn two years worth of emails and to part with memorabilia that I had collected and treasured. I longed for freedom from the hold this relationship had on me and also from the hurt, disappointment, and pain the separation had caused. When it was all said and done, I had managed to clear away the external parts of idolatry….much like the children of Israel destroying their idols of wood, silver and gold…but wondered if anything had transpired internally.

While this person is no longer a part of my life or my journey, I still have within me a pull toward people and close relationships. I still find myself seeking the comfort, advice, and encouragement of those I value. I believe without a doubt that God uses people to comfort, advise, and encourage us, and yet when I reach out to embrace the relationships I fear I have once again set up an idol in my heart. Today’s passage haunts me with words like multitudes of idols, estranged, repent, turn away, abominations. Tears are close to the surface when I consider the possible loss of more individuals in my life.

I am asking God (pleading with God) to show me the heart issues that need to be dealt with. He knows my fears and at this time my skewed thinking of Himself. He knows I am questioning whether or not the letting go of mindsets and heart issues will entail letting go of the very people He has brought into my life. He also knows I am not sure how much of my unsettled thinking is of Him or the enemy.

Today will be a day of answers. I start with the premise that God loves me and is trustworthy. He is not intent on hurting me but on helping me. He alone can clear my mind of false information and unfounded fears. His Word is not meant to haunt me but rather to heal and restore me. I look to Him.

Father, I am not at peace with myself or with You. Hold me. Speak to me. Show me what I am failing to see. Help me to hear Your voice and understand Your words. I look to You. Amen.

Help Me, God - Kathy Troccoli
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmSSWHO8ueA&feature=PlayList&p=0292C1E0257C0CAB&playnext=1&index=44

He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food. Job 36:16

He Understands Me

Great is our Lord and abundant in strength; His understanding is infinite. Psalm 147:5 (New American Standard Bible)

There are times when I read a portion of Scripture and all of a sudden something will stand out that I never saw before. Psalm 147 gives an eloquent portrayal of God’s strength and knowledge but today it became personal for me. God, who is all knowing, helped me to see that He understands me thoroughly. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve known that He knows me….He even knows the number of hairs on my head. He knows my past and my future. He knows my likes and dislikes. He knows my strengths and weaknesses. He knows my failures and successes. I know all that but today I was drawn toward the fact that He not only knows me and knows all about me, but he UNDERSTANDS me! He understands why I do the things I do and why I feel the way I feel. He understands my thought patterns and mind sets. He understands what is good for me and what is harmful to me. Considering I don’t always understand myself and the people in my life don’t completely understand me, this truth is huge for me!

One of the things I like about God is that He is willing to show me how much He understands me. Let me illustrate. Recently I have wondered why I often hesitate to admit to those closest to me when I am struggling in some way. People may ask me if I am okay or if something is wrong and I will give a shallow answer in hopes of diverting their attention. Even the few who are willing to listen find that I am more apt to share things with them AFTER the struggle is over. While I knew some reasons for this, God helped me to see something I was missing.

My make-up is such that if I begin to share my problems with people I will find myself needing to talk to them about EVERY problem. Those who help me climb out of the pits I find myself in will eventually become the “saviors” I am looking for. They will easily become my comforters, counselors, and guides in place of God. That is idolatry and I am so prone to it. It is that understanding of me that God has! Therefore, He has given me a built in guard rail that sees some wisdom and safety in choosing to share the difficulties with others AFTER He has helped me walk through them. While there will still be times I confide to a few when the battle is raging, I hope it becomes the exception and not the rule. I will be the first admit I don’t know if this but self protection or a true step toward freedom. So I will once again look to my Father for the answer, because He really does understand me.

Father, I rest in Your understanding of me. I trust You to show me if I am mistaken in this area. I long for the balance between You and the precious people You continue to bring across my path. Help me to walk by faith in You and Your ways. Amen.

He Knows My Name by Maranatha Singers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXsiWoyjw60

Seeking Him

Seek the LORD and His strength; seek His face continually. Psalm 105:4 (New American Standard Bible)

Someone once made the comment that I appear to be looking for something and haven’t quite found it yet. Their words struck me because they seemed to see this as a weakness. Yet, God assures me in His Word that seeking Him is not only a necessity but an invitation He extends to each of us. He knows our tendency to seek many things from many sources other than Himself and He longs for our searching to finally be directed toward Himself.

I found it interesting that there are two different Hebrew words used for “seek” in this verse. The first means to resort to and enquire of and the second means to desire to find. Both are necessary, for Jesus said to abide in Him, ask of Him, and love Him with all our heart, soul, and mind. He gave the ‘how to’ of today’s verse.

While God will not always show me what He is doing or why He is doing it, He longs to show me Himself. He longs for me to live each day with the realization of who He is and what His heart and character are like. I know what it is like to be passionate about knowing someone and being known by them. I know what it is like to want another person to affirm, accept, and welcome me. God invites me to bring that same passion to my seeking of Him. To pour my heart and life into knowing Him, being transparent before Him, and receiving His love and affection toward me. It is only as I do THAT kind of seeking that I will find myself anointed by His strength and might.

As I enter a new day (and a new year) my heart’s cry is that He would reveal Himself to me in more poignant ways. He does not limit the ways He will do that either. His Self revelations will come through His Word, music, other believers, books, nature, circumstances, solitude, and Spirit. He is an open book to any who would dare to look upon the pages of His heart. He doesn’t play a game of Hide and Seek with us, but rather seek and find! I rest and revel in that truth!

Father, I have often wearied myself with a searching heart. I now seek You and am assured I will find you and know You as I seek You with all my heart, soul, and mind. I love You and seek You with abandon. Amen.

Awakened by the Pronouns

Ye shall walk after the LORD your God, and fear him, and keep his commandments, and obey his voice, and ye shall serve him, and cleave unto him. Deuteronomy 13:4 (KJV)

The pronouns of this verse have jumped out at me this morning. I simply had to go back and underscore them for emphasis, because they are being emphasized to me by the Spirit in a powerful way even as I write this devotional. I am recalling the many individuals I have walked after, feared (trusted), listened to, obeyed, followed, served, and cleaved (clung) to in my life when all the while the Lord God Himself was yearning for me to turn to Him. I am not talking about my years BEFORE I knew Christ as my Savior. I am referring to the decades AFTER I accepted Him.

Until recently, I have found it easier to listen to, watch, and emulate the people God has brought into my life. Instead of seeing them as channels, tools, and object lessons that God was using to encourage, enlighten, and instruct me, I was clinging to them with all that I had in me. I was somehow convinced they were the ones who could fix me, nurture me, and sustain me. It was rare that I saw my journey as just between God and me. I somehow needed a third party with us.

God was not the one I ran to for advice, comfort, encouragement, assurance, or security. While I may not have ever thought of fashioning an idol out of wood or gold, I bowed before my idols of flesh and looked to them to meet my many internal needs. I longed for them to give me affirmation, attention, and love. I sought their wisdom, opinions, and leadership. The sad thing is, without His loving and steadfast intervention I would still be living that way. As a loving but jealous God, He simply will not allow me to replace Him with any individual or object.

He has had to patiently and persistently teach me that turning to Him was the best of all choices. What He had to offer me would far exceed what any person could give me or do for me. Oh the joy the I have found in finally embracing Him as my Counselor, Comforter, Companion, and Champion! He still uses people in my life but now I can hear His voice as they speak, feel His hands as they minister, and know His presence as we fellowship together. He is finally at the center of my life and worship!

Father, thank you for not giving up on me when I so often failed to look to You. I repent of my idolatry and whole heartedly prefer You! Amen.

Redirecting My Focus

Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. I Corinthians 10:31

Behind everything I do and say there are motives and agendas. The Holy Spirit desires to shine the light of truth on the corners of my soul to reveal to me how far removed from this verse I often live out my days. What I see I can either deny and pretend it doesn’t exist. Or I can admit it, repent of it, take it to the cross for cleansing, and allow God to transform me.

God is putting His finger on an area in my life this morning that actually hinders me from doing all things for His glory. It happens every time I seek the approval, recognition, acceptance, and respect of my peers over that of my heavenly Father. I read an Oswald Chamber’s quote in the Daily Bread this morning that is speaking volumes to me. He said, “A beautiful saint may be a hindrance if he does not present Jesus Christ but only what Christ has done for him; he will leave the impression--’what a fine character that man is!’--that is not being a true friend of the Bridegroom; I am increasing all the time, He is not.”

When I see that aspect in myself I have to fall on my face before God and ask Him to forgive me and change me! I find it too easy to be impressed with myself or another person rather than with the God who is working in each of us. He is the Potter and so often I am focused on the clay He is molding. I hear a speaker and I walk away thinking of and talking about how great the speaker was rather than the One the message was about. I can become enamored with musicians, authors, actors, significant people, and anyone else who stands out to me when all the time God is not the One being glorified.

So I ask myself this morning, who has my attention? Who am I focused on? Who am I really watching and wanting to pattern my life after? Who is the center of my life? If it is not God, THAT needs to change. But it is a change that can only come about as He works in me.

Father, I don’t like this side of me so I am bringing it to You for Your transforming touch. May You be preeminent in my thoughts and my life. May I no longer give Your place away to another person or myself. Amen.

Idols of the Heart

Son of man, these men have set up their idols in their hearts. Ezekiel 14:3

Worship begins in our heart. Not the heart that pumps blood through our veins but the seat of our will, emotions, and intellect. The very center of our identity. The bedrock of who we really are. I was struck when I read today’s verse that God did not mention the shrines the idols were in or the shelves on which they were displayed. He got right to the point and said they were setting up the idols in their hearts.

It causes me to stop and ask myself what I am setting up in my heart. I am learning that not all idols are made of wood. Whether it is in an atmosphere of religious worship or everyday life God has been teaching me that an idol is anything or anyone I give my heart to in place of Himself. It is anything or anyone I turn to instead of turning to Him. It is anything or anyone I rely upon to do for me what only He can do.

I spoke in a women’s Sunday school class yesterday. During the course of the lesson I let them know relationships have always been important to me. God has graciously allowed me to cross paths and hearts with some incredible people. Each one was brought into my life as a gift from my heavenly Father. But so often because of heart issues and unresolved hurts and disappointments I looked to the relationships to fix me, heal me, change me, and comfort me. In my own way I was looking to individuals to perform some major heart surgery in me. For decades I kept asking myself “why” it wasn’t working. Now I know! God, in His loving kindness will not allow it to work. He knows if I can get those kinds of needs met through individuals I will never turn to Him. I will revel in their friendship and keep Him at arms length. So what did He finally do?

Six months ago He changed a relationship that resulted in my being completely devastated. It wasn’t my choice….it was His. He loves me that much! It has taken months to separate the lies from the truth. It has been a time of renewing my mind and reestablishing my heart. He graciously took the idol I had set up in my heart and removed it so that His rightful place could be resumed by Himself. Painful? Yes! Necessary? Yes! I embrace Him like never before.

Father, my idolatry grieved You. The removal of my idol crushed me. Thank you for drying my tears, comforting my heart, and renewing my spirit. Amen.

In the Place of God

And Joseph said unto them , “Fear not; for am I in the place of God?” Genesis 50:19

When we begin to think that our life is in someone else’s hands (besides God’s) we can be filled with apprehension, dread, worry, and fear. Many Bible characters could have despaired of the influence others wielded over their life. The actions of others does affect us. But ultimately God holds us in His hands. He brings good from any situation. He produces gold from seeing tragedy. Beauty from ashes. Joseph and Job come to mind when I think of innocent victims. But both their lives ended up abundantly blessed.

But it is not just in fearful situations that the questions is asked, “Am I in the right place, God?” When I look to others to meet my needs I am looking for them to be in God’s place.

Disappointment marks my day when they fall short of my expectations. May I not put any other person in God’s place.

Father, forgive me for the times I replace You with Your creation. May daily look to You. Amen.

Emaciated Living

And he gave them their request; but sent leanness into their soul. Psalm 106:15

We can all recall pictures we have seen of starving children in third world countries, concentration camp victims from Hitler’s era, and even individuals caught in the vicious cycle of anorexia. Gaunt faces, pronounced thinness, and skeletal like features leave us horrified. For some the condition was brought on by another person. For others it was a result of their own choices. But either way it is heart wrenching to say the least. It is easy to detect physical problems. It is much harder to detect a leanness of the soul….whether in another person or in ourselves.

It does not take a person much time to begin formulating in their mind what they think will bring satisfaction to their life. For some people it is material wealth. They think if they could just earn enough money and possess enough “stuff” they could live internally satisfied. For others it is in gaining power and prestige in their community. Popularity, adventure, and recognition allure many with the false hope of satisfaction. For me, it has always been in relationships. For decades I thought people could give me what I lacked on my own. I wanted to find that special person who could take away the hurt, give me significance, nurture my spirit, and somehow make me feel loved. But that person does not exist outside of Christ.

Many times, God will allow us to have the very things we think will bring us satisfaction but in addition to that He will also send a leanness into our soul. An emptiness, a void, a cavern. I am reminded of the saying that each of us is born with a vacuum deep within us that only God can fill. That is so true! And I am just now beginning to learn how to go to Him for that filling.

On July 13 I will have known Him as my Savior for 33 years but I am just now taking baby steps into allowing Him access into the parts of me that no person has been able to reach, fix, heal, or satisfy. I feel like blinders are being removed and I am catching the first glimpses of what the Christian life is really meant to be like. May He never allow me to find satisfaction in any source other than Himself.

Father, You have waited so long for me to begin to see my idols. They didn’t satisfy. The hunger in my soul now seeks nourishment from You. Feed me! Amen.