The Birthing of Contentment

Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Hebrews 13:5 (King James Version)

Wanting what I don’t have does much to diminish my peace, joy, and satisfaction. Coveting can go far beyond just a desire for more money or possessions. For me, it can also enter into the area of personalities and relationships. In the midst of all my “wants” I must confront myself with this question: “Do I really believe God is presently giving me everything I need and is best for me?”

There was a time when personalities were an area of covetousness for me. Convinced mine was inferior I longed for the kind others had. My attempts at behavior modification and chameleon tendencies eventually proved futile. Comparing myself to others is a sure way to foster discontent. My whole perspective changed when I began to appreciate and celebrate the personality God chose to instill in me. Allowing God to conform me into the image of Christ will not do away with my personality, it will beautify and enhance it! I will always be an extrovert who enjoys conversations, friendships, and laughter. That is the way I am wired. It is no longer a bone of contention for me because I now receive it as God’s design and desire for me.

God and I are still working on the area of relationships. I struggle the most with dissatisfaction and discontentment when I can’t be in relationship with the ones I want to be or when I want more out of the relationships I do have. Because communication is so easy and instant with cell phones and emails, it feeds a part of me that craves continual connection with people. When I don’t see or hear from someone as often as I would like, my security and satisfaction with that relationship comes under attack. I easily self condemn and question the soundness of the relationship. I am learning both are a tool of the enemy. It is imperative that I see God’s hand in the friendships I have or don’t have. His ultimate desire is for me to have a close relationship with Himself. My deepest friendships should enhance that.

When others are not involved or available I must see that as an invitation to draw closer to Him and fully take in the preciousness of His promise to never leave or forsake me. As I learn to abide in His presence I find a birthing of contentment and a lessening of the aches from the disappointments of life.

Father, continue to touch the places of discontent in me. Your faithful presence is my true life line. Amen.

Let My Words Be Few - Phillips, Craig & Dean
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12z4dvc2kjo&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Being Receptive

Today, if you will hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion. Hebrews 3:15 (New King James Version)

How well am I doing at receiving words of truth? It is easy when the words are what I want to hear, but it is another matter all together when they are what I strain against. Or when they pinpoint an area that needs changing in me. In my reading through the book of Jeremiah I am noticing the negative responses people had toward God’s prophets and hence against the word of God itself. As Jeremiah would say the very things God had instructed him to say, he often faced physical abuse and imprisonment, because his message was not what others wanted to hear. And the interesting part is that his words were often warnings of coming judgment with an invitation to obey. God sent prophets to warn His people and give them another opportunity to turn back to Him. Truth presented was not always truth received!

There are the times believers may sit in a church service and close their ears to what a pastor is saying simply because they don’t like the pastor or the message is not what they want to hear. It is necessary to heed the words in Hebrews, “Listen and don’t harden your hearts!” It is wise for us to ask God before a service begins to help us hear what it is He is saying to us. Sometimes it is like finding a small nugget of gold among the many words but the search is worth it. If Scripture is presented there is something we can take away with us that is profitable and life-giving. Our spirit will take it in if we but poise ourselves to receive it.

While I may need this reminder concerning sermons, I really need it even more for the times individuals are communicating truth to me. Many are the times I have asked for advice only to find myself straining at what is eventually said. This has puzzled me and I asked God to reveal to me the reason I do this. He let me see that often I misread the message because I assume some wrong things about the person who is speaking it. I assume their tone is harsh when it is not. I assume they are fed up with me when they are not. I assume they have a ‘you should know better’ mentality when they do not. The list goes on and on. The bottom line is this: my view of myself feeds a suspicion of another person’s heart and hence affects the way I receive their words. Now when I find myself closing up to another person’s wise and loving counsel, I can look for my own roots of resistance and deal with them in order to take in the truths that are meant to help me.

Father, the moment I sense resistance, help me to do the searching of my own heart. Thank you for the ones You have sent to speak life words to me. Amen.

Spirit Song - Maranatha Singers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iC7RDZP7tFw&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Focus and Follow

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1,2 (New King James Version)

I can so easily hold on to the weights and sin that ensnare me and hinder progress. I can also stop running and allow my attention and energies to be directed toward something or someone other than Jesus. He is not only the author and finisher of my faith, but He is the example of my faith. Focus on Him and follow Him are the imperatives for my life. As I do that I will more readily detect the ruts and pitfalls of the path I walk.

Most of the time, it is my mindset and what I choose to dwell upon that causes me the most discouragement, difficulty, and defeat. If I do not purposefully align myself with truth and resist the temptation to think on harmful thoughts, I run into trouble rather than run with endurance. For me, early detection and taking appropriate action are the keys to victory. All it takes is one unguarded, unchallenged thought to slow my progress and get me off course. I cannot afford to allow access to any thought that would distract or destroy me. It has happened recently and it will happen today if I do not heed the warning and advice of today’s passage.

There are things I need to be free of and things I need to be focused on in order to run the race well. It was not an easy race for Jesus and it will certainly not be an easy race for me. There will be things to endure and things to despise but I must keep the goals ever before me. The joy of knowing those goals will one day be realize is what is meant to carry me through each day.

What are those goals? Being transformed into the image of Christ. Knowing God. Complete freedom in areas I battle. Eventually, Heaven. This is a journey of progress and each day affords me numerous opportunities to gain insight, wisdom, discernment, and correction. Complete perfection will not be mine until I am in Heaven, but that does not mean there will be no incredible victories here on Earth. Each day brings me that much closer to those victories. My mantra must be, “Eyes on Him!”

Father, keep teaching me the discipline of focusing on You. Help me to see the distractions early on and to walk in determined victory amidst those distractions. Amen.

Healer - Kari Jobe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvIEJ_PmqJ8&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Seeing Him

By faith he forsook Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king; for he endured as seeing Him who is invisible. Hebrews 11:27 (New King James Version)

It is imperative that we begin seeing Him who is invisible. Seeing Him as the ever present, ever involved God that He is. I am asking myself the question this morning, “How do I see God?” What view and perception do I have of Him?

Do I see Him as my Provider? The One who knows every need of my heart, mind, body, and soul? The One who has promised to meet those needs in ways that far surpass the ways I would go about meeting them myself? He longs for me to rest in His awareness, availability, and ability.

Do I see Him as my Protector? The One who guards me and hovers over me as a mother eagle does her young? Nothing escapes His notice or supercedes His ability and desire to keep me from and in all forms of danger and harm. He stands ready to defend me, secure me, and protect me in any and all situations. My physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional well being are in His hands and He will never fail at the job of having my back!

Do I see Him as my Potter? The One who is molding my life into a portrait of His Son? Though marred, broken, and misshaped at times, He is not limited by my past failures, insecurities, or wounds. He has promised that the end result for me will be a masterpiece of beauty and a unique display of His craftsmanship. I may not always enjoy the process or tools that He wisely chooses to use, but I trust the outcome of His handiwork.

Do I see Him as my Pruner? The One who cuts away and removes all that is harmful or no longer necessary in my life? The change of relationships, the removal of comfort zones, the development of His gifts and calling, the altering of personal plans, the elimination of anything that is not of Him. He is the skilled Husbandman who has His eye and hand on every area of my life. He knows the fruit that will result with every clip!

Do I see Him as my Planner? Absolutely nothing intersects my world without first passing through His hands. He has planned the path and the pattern of my walk with Him. He has a call on my life and a purpose for me being here. I don’t see the full picture yet but He does. I rest in Him.

Father, open my eyes to all that You are. I want to see You as all of these and more. Amen.

Knowing You - Robyn Mark
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGbuz8QuhmE

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.
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Identifying the Weights

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us. Hebrews 12:1 (New King James Version)

What is it that encumbers, hinders, entangles or ensnares you on a daily basis? What is it that has a grip on you even as you want to lay it aside? For each of us it may be a different area or issue and yet we know that we know it is in us. Those closest to us can see the consequences of its presence in our life even if they don’t fully know every detail. It leaves us with deep feelings of failure, discouragement, and disappointment. Most of the time, the proverbial tunnel appears to have no light the end. Failed attempts to walk in victory leave us wondering if deliverance will ever be our experience in this life.

Let me say, if you (like me) have come to believe that freedom is out of reach for you, than you (like me) have bought in to one of the most damaging lies of the enemy. He knows no child of God is beyond the work and grace of God and yet if he can convince us we are an exception then we remain in bondage. I do not want that to be the end of my story!

Here is the catch though. There are times when we are not fully aware of what our exact weights are. I am coming to learn that what I label as emotional may have a physical component. My mood swings and spiraling thoughts may actually be an indication that there is something physically wrong. If I am going to run my life’s race with endurance then I need to know what it is that keeps tripping me up. So I am on a quest. It involves asking lots of questions, talking to many individuals, and taking the necessary medical steps to determine what is going on in my body as well as my mind. As I do, I saturate the steps with prayer that God would lead me to the right people to help me lay aside the unnecessary weights I carry and tunnels in which I find myself. I firmly believe there is not only a light at the end of this tunnel but a whole new way to live my life.

The bookends God has placed around me at this time are the prayers and unconditional love of others. I marvel at the ministry of the body of Christ. There are individuals who not only want to see me walk in freedom but urge me on in my quest to find it. I thank God for them!

Father, I marvel at the way You work. With hope in my heart I anticipate all that is possible in Christ. Amen.

He Knows My Name
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXsiWoyjw60

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Strength Received

By faith Sarah herself also received strength to conceive seed, and she bore a child when she was past the age, because she judged Him faithful who had promised. Hebrews 11:11 (New King James Version)

Oh, the variety and depth of Scripture! I have come to know the benefit of slipping my name into a particular verse and experiencing the birthing of hope over a situation or circumstance. Today’s verse is one such treasure. “By faith _______ herself also received strength to _________________, because she judged Him faithful.” What is it you desire and need strength to do? What is the one thing you want to write on the line above?

Realize that ‘strength’ implies ability and power…divine power. It is the same power exhibited in the performance of miracles as well as what we see demonstrated in vast armies. The faith that receives that kind of strength is a conviction of the truth about God and our relationship to Him. It includes a trust in the ability and availability of God as all knowing, all powerful, and ever present.

Often times the thought of God bringing about what is impossible or difficult for us to manufacture on our own, is blocked because of wrong beliefs or views about God. Know this, God reveals the truth about Himself to us in specific ways through His Word and through the experiences He fashions for our life. The Bible must be my primary source for learning the true nature and character of God. Many are the passages that show God’s faithfulness, longsuffering, power, and passion. I began to see those things the day I asked God to show me His heart in Scripture. My experience with His Word was forever changed as a result of that prayer.

Along with that, I have come to know Him as well through daily experiences that He uses to show Himself to me. As I wade through issues and questions I see Him as my comforter, counselor, and companion. I hear His invitations to draw whatever I need from Him. This in turn leads me to recognize His involvement and interest in my life. The thought that I am just ‘one of many’ to Him or a ‘lost face in the crowd’ begins to be replaced with being His treasure and delight. Hence, my trust that He would give me needed strength and ability grows. Just as in the case of Sarah and Abraham, it may take years to see what I desire brought to fruition, but if it is His desire and will, it will come. In the mean time, I continue to allow God to help me develop a walk of intimacy with Himself.

Father, thank you that Scripture is meant for us today. How You must joy when we place our name and life within its pages. Amen.

In Christ Alone - Travis Cottrell
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvnpcKUrCo4

If what you are reading is touching your spirit and increasing your thirst for God then you are one of the reasons I write them. I want to extend a personal invitation to you to join my email devotional family and allow me to send them to you directly! Simply send an email to shattuck7@sbcglobal.net and request to be added to my devotional list. It would be my honor and privilege to do so.

Strengthened and Straightened

Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble, and make straight paths for your feet, so that the limb which is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed. Hebrews 12:12,13 (New American Standard Bible)

Recently at a Bible study, the question was asked how we resist the enemy and his attacks on us. As I contemplated that question I “knew” the right answers to give but because I wasn’t doing any of them there was no ability to speak the words. Fighting the enemy is daunting and many times I wait for things to get dark enough and the pain to get excruciating enough before I put forth the effort. The problem is all the damage that takes place within that amount of time. Today’s verse came to mind as my weaknesses, feebleness, and lameness stared me in the face. It awakened in me a desire for strength, straight paths, and healing. That desire is what can turn my gaze back toward God as the only One who can do in me what needs to be done and I am the only one who can allow Him to do His work in me. Others cannot will it. Others cannot do it for me. Like salvation, I must choose growth and change for myself.

How the enemy loves to fill my mind with thoughts that hinder the growth and change. How he loves to convince me there is no escape or way out of situations, emotional pits, or personal problems. Earlier this week, he bombarded me with thoughts such as, “You will never come to the place where God is truly your Source. Sure, you might stop looking to people to meet your needs (maybe) but you will always struggle to embrace God as your true need meeter. You also have no business writing devotionals since failure and faltering steps often mark your path. At this point it would be best for you to step away from everything and everyone until God’s work is complete in you. Then and only then can you begin to talk or write about the Christian life."

Although his words can seem convincing they lose their effect when the light of truth shines on them. Truth from the Bible. Truth from fellow believers. Truth from God’s Spirit living in me. Truth from sound teaching. Truth from music. Truth from resources I have been blessed to read. The truth God used this week was a reminder that He will finish all that He has started in me and one of the things He started was a desire to know Him. As far as devotionals go, broken vessels are usable and out of this broken vessel will come the very things God wants me and others to hear. Stepping away or quitting are no longer options….they never were.

Father, You have strengthened me once again. I praise You! Amen.

Redeemer Savior Friend
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r__K8E8y2SU&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Supplying What I Need

Now may the God of peace ….Strengthen (complete, perfect) and make you what you ought to be and equip you with everything good that you may carry out His will; [while He Himself] works in you and accomplishes that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ (the Messiah); to Whom be the glory forever and ever (to the ages of the ages). Amen (so be it). Hebrews 13:19-21 (Amplified Bible)

Two weeks ago, truths were coming alive to me at a rate that took my breath away. That which had confused and eluded me for months seemed to clear up and I began feeling better than I had felt in a long time. At times, I thought, “This is too easy!” It was all clicking and I couldn’t have been happier. A trip north crossed my path with several friends who shared in my excitement over what God was doing. Freedom and joy was marking my day as well as my conversations. I felt strong physically, emotionally, and spiritually. What I failed to realize though was this time of celebration was to soon lead into a time whereby all would come to a screeching halt.

I am not one who battles sickness very often, so I was unprepared for the draining affect of the flu. Although it lasted a mere four days and was followed by three additional days of back spasms, that was long enough to exhaust my physical and spiritual reserve. I found myself without the energy to do my normal reading and spending time in God’s Word. All was set aside for the purpose of resting and regaining. Yesterday, I took in God’s truths to simply feed my spirit. I had nothing to bring to others in the way of a devotional. I felt I was relearning the very things that seemed to come so easily a while ago. There were no battles fought when I was sick, but they reappeared as my health returned.

Today, my Father has been quick to let me know of His involvement in my growth process. He is assuring me of how available He is to strengthen, equip, and work in me. What I ought to be is exactly what He is molding me to be. My own whispers, as well as those of the enemy, are being drowned out by His words of truth and life. At times, I feel internally shaky, but the Solid Rock I stand on and in is secure and immovable. It doesn’t all rest on my shoulders. I don’t have to try and figure out how God is going to accomplish all that He needs to accomplish in me. I simply need to trust Him and cooperated with Him in this moment. I need to let my own weaknesses become my daily reminders of how much I need Him.

Father, You know what You are going to do with me and that is what I am taking with me into this day. Amen.

His Strength is Perfect ~ Steven Curtis Chapman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LC_lld_vUCY

He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food. Job 36:16

Looking Unto Jesus

Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. Hebrews 12:1,2 (New King James Version)

What I focus on and turn my attention toward will determine how well I do at laying aside weights and sins that can ensnare me and also how well I run with endurance. There are times when my eyes turn toward things that distract me from making Jesus my focal point. Sometimes, it can be looking to others to give me what only God can give me. Sometimes, it can be the hurts and disappointments of life. Last night it was questions about myself that seemed to disturb me beyond words.

Although Romans 8:1 assures me I am not under condemnation, the condemnation was present. This time the area in question had to do with authenticity. Was I genuinely living out my Christian life as a unique individual or was I simply patterning the life of others? Did I know God through His Word and life experiences or was I trying to get Him to be and mean to me what He was to others? The questions shook me to my core and it did not take long for fear and tears to consume me. Once again, my eyes turned inward instead of upward! They centered on me and what I was and wasn’t doing, rather than on Jesus and His work in me.

I had to begin clinging to vital truths. God is authentic and involved in my life. I cannot trust myself but I can trust Him. I can rely upon Him to reveal Himself to me in specific ways even in the midst of my uncertainties. I can trust Him to show me what is at the root of my insecurities and fears. I am limited, He is limitless. I am human, He is God! I fail, He fulfills.

This morning, I look to Him and at Him for all that eluded me in the evening hours of last night….peace, contentment, stability, direction, genuineness, love, laughter, and joy! It is not about what I can manufacture on my own. It is not even about what I allow Him to do. It is about knowing that He is doing His work in me continuously. It is about turning my eyes away from other things and fixing them on Jesus. Completely on Jesus. Where I am shaky, He is steady and supportive. Where I am lacking, He is abundant. Where I am in need, He is there.

Father, the intrusive thoughts leave only at the touch of Your hand, sound of Your voice, and light of Your presence. I choose to fix my eyes on You and relax under Your ever present gaze upon me. Amen.

WARRIOR IS A CHILD/ DO I TRUST YOU? ~ Twila Parishttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Pzu-jWpcdw

He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food. Job 36:16

Remembering Them

Remember those who led you, who spoke the word of God to you; and considering the result of their conduct, imitate their faith. Hebrews 13:7 (New American Standard Bible)

Last night, I met with a friend whom I had not seen for several years. We did some catching up and sharing of present happenings with our children. Then the conversation turned to a time of review. What an experience to look back over four and a half years and list the many things God has done! I felt compelled to tell her of my journey out of legalism and the many changes that came about because of it. As I spoke, it became evident to me that God had used an individual in profound ways to start me on my journey. The impact she made on my life was huge and were it not for God crossing my path with her, I don’t know how long it would have taken me to come out of my life style of performance and fear or IF I would have come out of it.

This morning as I read today’s verse, this individual once again came to mind. She led me, taught me God’s word, was an example to me, and left me with a pattern of faith to imitate. Her spiritual influence and fingerprints are evident in my life to this day. Although she is no longer a part of my journey I rejoice in the season of time God allowed her to be! I can say with joy that I am NOT the same person I was when she first entered my life. I am not even the same person I was when she was led to release me to walk without her. Truly, God’s ways have been higher than my own!

I think back over my Christian life of 35 years and I can recall numerous individuals who led me, spoke God’s word to me, and lived lives that were worth imitating. They were each used of God to instilled valuable things into my life. They came along side me, walked with me for a while, and left profound marks on my life. What I am today has a direct correlation to who they were for me in the past. With any one of them I would have chosen to remain. Without God’s insistence I would have been content to continue under their teaching and influence. But then I realize if that had been the case, there would have been many relationships I would have missed out on and many things I would have not learned. The result would have been a stunting of my growth.

Just as God called the children of Israel out of Egypt, God has had many “calling out of” moments in my life. I am learning to treasure that aspect because of the good that comes from it. While there are times I look back and long for those places of delight, I know He still has much in store for me and so I journey on.

Father, thank you for the individuals You hand picked to be in my life. They have been treasured gifts to me. Amen.

Painting Pictures of Egypt - Sara Groves
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZcIA4Cnj6j4

I welcome your questions and comments to any devotional thoughts. I am honored and delighted to share my journey with you and privileged to hear of yours.

A Pleasure Filled Choice

For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Hebrews 4:12 (New American Standard Bible)

Have you ever had a verse come alive on you? You may have read it or heard it numerous times before but it just sat on the pages of your Bible and you remained unmoved by its message. I am finding that for myself, God usually has to do some preparatory work in me before His Word becomes the living, breathing revelation He has intended it to be. Often times I have to see my own heart need before His Word will take hold of my heart and do its precious work in me.

Such was the case yesterday. The darkness of the morning hung on me through out the day and into the evening as God slowly revealed a fear I was housing. That fear was that in the midst of everything He was disappointed in me and that led to many thoughts of hopelessness and condemnation. The one thing I wanted more than anything else was to be free of that perception of God. People could tell me otherwise but it took God’s Word to finally open my eyes to a fundamental truth about Himself.

During a study with some friends we came across Ephesians 1:4,5 which says, “Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will.” The part that came alive to me was the small phrase “good pleasure of His will.” I knew that God chose me before the world was made but I needed to take in the truth that He derived pleasure in His choosing. It was a choice filled with good will, kind intentions, benevolence, delight, pleasure, and satisfaction! That was the case even though He knew every aspect of my life….weaknesses, sinfulness, and all. He didn’t HAVE to choose me, He WANTED to choose me!

I needed to see that none of that was based on what I would someday do for Him and it is still not based on what I do. It is not about performance, although obedience brings blessing. It is about living in relationship with Him and growing in the grace and knowledge of Him. Disappointed in me? Not hardly. While my actions, words, thoughts, and choices do not always please Him, I am secure in His love and delight of me. I am reveling in the truth of that this morning and much is changing because of it!

Father, I tremble with joy over Your love for me. I am responding to Your delight and pleasure. How great and gracious You truly are! Amen.

Indescribable - Chris Tomlin
http://youtube.com/watch?v=7PTvr755V8s

He Knows the Way That I Take

By faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed by going out to a place which he was to receive for an inheritance; and he went out, not knowing where he was going. Hebrews 11:8 (New American Standard Bible)

My final thoughts before I drifted off to sleep last night and my first thoughts when I awoke this morning were of a list of my ancestors found within the pages of Scripture. The list was as follows: Ruth, Joseph, Moses, Abraham, and David. Each called of God for a special time and purpose. Each required to leave what they had known to enter that which was only fully known by God. None would have experienced God’s call without leaving one place for another. In today’s verse the phrase he went out, not knowing has captured my attention.

There is a part of me that is glad God does not reveal the things that lie ahead. Many times He does not let us see the good or the bad of our future…the trials or the treasures. It is part of the faith walk He invites us to embrace. If we knew the difficulties that awaited us we would often allow fear to freeze us in our tracks. And if we knew the blessings that lay ahead we would follow simply for that reason.

I look back over the last four years of my journey and I can see where “knowing” would have robbed me of joy and the desire to move forward. When I reached for freedom He didn’t let me know it would eventually mean the loss of a teaching job as well as the loss of my husband‘s teaching job. When I embraced the teaching, nurturing, and care of a mentor He didn’t let me know the day would come when she would step away and I would be devastated. In both those cases I would now say it was worth it, but had I been told upfront, both experiences would have entailed more fear than faith and sorrow than joy. No, in His wisdom He didn’t let me know. But when each result came so did His words, “My grace is sufficient for you.” And it was!

At the same time, I have been left in tearful amazement at the “gifts of goodness” He continually gives. He didn’t let me know ahead of time the delight I would find in sending out email devotionals, the introduction of more significant relationships, and the daily adventure of being made whole by Him. No, He didn’t let me know ahead of time but with each one I hear His words, “My ways and thoughts are higher than yours.” And they are!

This all comes at a time when I know He is inviting me to turn a corner with Him. It requires letting go and moving forward. He has laid the groundwork and helped me to see that what lies ahead is fully known by Him. Embracing Him means embracing the path He has carved out for me. I want both!

Father, You know my heart as well as my thoughts. I don’t want to miss anything You have planned for me even when I know it will entail difficulties with the delights. I choose to follow. Amen.

Homesick or Home?

If they had been thinking with [homesick] remembrance of that country from which they were emigrants, they would have found constant opportunity to return to it. But the truth is that they were yearning for and aspiring to a better and more desirable country. Hebrews 11:15,16 (Amplified Bible)

Our minds usually go in one of two directions. Either we are homesick for what use to be or yearning and aspiring for what lies ahead. As believers, Heaven is our ultimate destiny but until we get there our life will entail many places or countries of God’s choosing. The journey we are on has been designed and brought about by God. How we walk that journey is our choice. Resistance to change will become a stumbling block that makes the way more painful and difficult.

I think back to the children of Israel in the wilderness and how often they voiced their longing to return to Egypt. Egypt! Their former place of slavery and misery. What were they thinking? The tests and trials of their wilderness wanderings made what should have been unappealing very appealing. The wilderness was filled with the unknown and unwanted, therefore they wanted what they left. But no matter how many times they revisited Egypt in their mind, God never allowed them to go back. Any trips back were only in their imaginations and heart. How like them I can be at times.

Although the wilderness was not the promised land, it was the place God had them at the present. But too often they failed to embrace it as such and follow God with abandon. How different the journey would have been if they had! They could have experienced the reward of anticipating God’s interventions and involvement rather than begrudging the changes in their life.

For them, it was change of location. For me, it is change of relationships. God knows my mind still houses thoughts of homesickness for individuals who use to be a part of my life and no longer are. While the memories of them will always be a part of me, God is desiring that I will now embrace the individuals who now intersect my world. They are His present gift to me and He doesn’t want me to miss the joy of knowing them and growing with them. He implores me to stop resisting and start resting in the place He has me and with the people He has given me. May I dare to do so!

Father, help me to turn my eyes toward You and then to look around at all You have given me and done for me in this present place of my life. Replace my feelings of homesickness with a sense of coming home! Amen.

Being Mindful to Move On

And truly, if they had been mindful of that country from whence they came out, they might have had opportunity to have returned. Hebrews 11:15 (King James Version)

Where my mind goes my heart will follow. Often were the times the children of Israel longed for a return to Egypt even though it was a place of bondage. When life became difficult and they couldn’t see what lay ahead, they wished to be back in another place and time. This longing kept them from fully experiencing the present and anticipating the future. The heroes of faith listed in Hebrews 11 knew better. They knew that allowing themselves to think about the places they had been to rather than where they were at could affect their faith and focus. Their sites were set on what lay ahead rather than what they left behind.

I must determine, by God’s grace, to follow their example. As the terrain and lessons of my journey go through changes it is easy to think of the comfort zones of my past and yearn to have them back. There are certain circumstances and relationships that nurtured and strengthened me years ago and if given the chance I would probably opt for a return. But if that happened, growth would be stunted and moving forward would be impossible. Imagine a person forever being in kindergarten! Imagine an adult still being held and carried by their parent. What was at one time good and necessary for us would be an absurd hindrance now. The same is true in our walk of faith. It necessitates a ‘letting go and moving on’ lifestyle and mindset. While I may still recall pleasant moments in the past, it is imperative that I not allow the thoughts to consume me and captivate my attention. My main focus must remain on what God is doing in my life now and the direction He is taking me.

While God has used many individuals to help bring me to this point, I am aware there has been a shift. My ability to find my true identity in Christ and fully receive His unconditional love for me is requiring a letting go of many things. Allowing Him to meet my needs and satisfy me at the center of who I am will not be possible if I “return” to the past securities and shelters He once supplied for me. The growing pains of maturing in Christ are felt at times and it is then that I must take hold of Him rather than reach out for what use to be. My faith and my focus must ever be in and on Him.

Oh, to live out the truths of Philippians 3:13, “Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.” May my desire be for Him.

Father, I treasure the memories with a realization that moving on is necessary. Many relationships have changed but growth continues. Help me to look to You for the care and nurturing my soul craves. Amen.

Uprooting the Root

Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled. Hebrews 12:14,15 (New King James Version)

I am becoming acutely aware of the fact that my biggest problem is not the circumstances or people in my life. My biggest problem is my own heart. What my heart chooses to hold on to and justify will be what places me in bondage. Until I recognize that and take the appropriate steps to rectify it I will not walk in freedom or daily connection with the heart of God. Neither will I grow or move forward in my Christian life. Today’s passage in Hebrews warns of a root of bitterness which can cause trouble and defilement (contamination).

Like a tangled web of disaster, a root of bitterness can grow to the point of completely covering my heart and my spirit. It can easily bring me to the place where truth is unable to get from my head to my heart and transformation is hindered. Along with that, it can connect and tie me to the very things I want to release. Things like painful experiences, wounds, and heartache. Unless I see the truth of this and act upon it, I will mistakenly focus on the outward circumstances of my life and walk with a victim mentality. It is a place of no comfort, no joy, and no freedom. The Christian life is reduced to empty, painful living.

Why is that a route I and so many others choose? I believe there are a number of reasons. To admit it means I must be honest about what is in my own heart…what I am really like. Once I admit the truth about myself I must take responsibility for my actions and attitudes that have gone awry. With responsibility comes an awareness of a need to change. As long as I can blame my circumstances and others for the way I feel and live, I can somehow hold them responsible for the condition of my life. But that will never bring about change or freedom. That will only keep me in bondage.

If I allow Him, God will expose any root of bitterness and through confession will begin to clear away the tangled mess. As I embrace His forgiveness and mercy there is an ability to open my clenched fists and closed heart which finally releases me from my own prison of pain. While it may take awhile to come to this point, the deliverance is instantaneous!

Father, I praise You for exposing my heart and root of bitterness. I receive Your forgiveness and dance in Your freedom. Amen.

He Knows

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are ~ yet without sin. Hebrews 4:15 (New International Version)

Recently, I took comfort in the words of author Henri Nouwen. As I read the following words I could tell he KNEW how I felt. After the demise of a deeply satisfying friendship he wrote, “Intellectually I knew that no human friendship could fulfill the deepest longing of my heart. I knew that only God could give me what I desired. I knew that I had been set on a road where nobody could walk with me but Jesus. But all this knowledge didn’t help me in my pain.” He went on to warn about two extremes to avoid in the midst of pain, “Being completely absorbed in your pain and being distracted by so many things you stay far away from the wound you want to heal.” I drank in his words because he had been where I am at and I finally felt someone understood! It is through his personal hurts, agony, and sorrow that he can so eloquently address mine. Although he no longer lives in this world, his books are strengthening and comforting me as so few people seem to be able to do.

This is the same picture I need to get of Jesus. He can sympathize with me. He understands even better than Henri Nouwen how I feel. He knew heartache, abandonment, and rejection in far greater ways than I will ever experience, and yet He will not treat my circumstance as unimportant. He has healing for me and knows I have yet to fully experience it. He sees the times I try to anesthetize the pain with more relationships, more activities, even more intake of Scripture. He knows the search that seems to yield so few results. He knows the struggle I have to implement what well meaning people advise. He knows how easily I want to hide or deny my own thoughts and feelings. He knows the times my spirit and my shoulders slump in hopelessness. But He also knows none of this is the end of the story. He already knows the day truth will finally set me free.

For now, I hold on to the hope, hand, and robe of my High Priest who identifies with me and upholds me. As one song so aptly states it, “His strength is perfect when our strength is gone.” He continues to whisper His reminders to me and listens as I whisper my thoughts back to Him. In the aloneness of every day life, He is my constant Companion and Confidante.

Father, may You speak to and touch the deepest parts of me. Amen.

The Results of Practice

But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil. Hebrews 5:14 (New American Standard Bible)

Our actions and words are driven by our thoughts and intentions of our heart. Change the thoughts and you change the actions. That is what Romans 12:2 means when it says, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” And Philippians 4:8 gives us a list of what our thoughts should be directed toward: whatever is true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of a good report, and praiseworthy. Those words should not only describe our thoughts, they should also describe our words and actions.

So how does one go from thinking, saying, and doing the wrong things, to thinking, saying, and doing the right things? Practice! If I want to become good at discerning between good and evil, I must put into use the right choices on a daily basis. Each time I act upon what I know to be true and think upon what I know to be right, I sharpen my senses for discernment and sound judgment. If God is going to change my life it will be through the reformation of my mind. But it is imperative that I take the things He is showing me and I put them into practice as the opportunities arise. This will not happen by accident. It must be purposeful, determined living. My will and thinking must give way to His Spirit and His truth.

Old ways of thinking will only lose their hold on me as I choose to release them. Often that is easier said than done. I find there are times I will readily take in truth but releasing what has been comfortable or familiar to me is what is difficult. Change is forthcoming when the results of my way of thinking are no longer enjoyable. As Anais Nier so aptly stated, “And then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” My blossoming happens every time I allow God to expose the lies I have come to believe and then choose to replace them with the truth. It is a necessary process I go through EVERY time my feelings, emotions, and thoughts become skewed. Any more, when I have a negative response to something that is said or done to me, I automatically start searching for the lie and then the truth. That practice is maturing me in my walk of faith. Because it has taken me so long to learn this and because it is still so new to me, I marvel each time it works! The freedom astounds me and the change moves me to a deeper appreciation for the work of God in my life. The doubts I once had as to whether or not this could work for me have been replaced by tested experience! I praise Him!

Father, guide me through the steps of sound practice and good choices today. I know the results will be powerful as I cooperate fully with You. Amen.

Looking Elsewhere

Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. Hebrews 12:2 (New King James Version)

There are times in our life when God must redirect our focus and attention. I have often been enamored by other believers. From the beginning steps of the Christian life all the way to the present I have readily placed people on pedestals and fixed my eyes and heart on them. As long as they were available I was distracted from totally fixing my eyes on Jesus. All along, God has known this would be one of my greatest hindrances to growth and dependency on Himself. While His intent was to place examples in front of me for the purpose of learning, He knew the risk that would be mine if they became more than examples to me.

The words of C.S. Lewis in The Problem of Pain have struck me profoundly this morning. He writes, “Now God, who has made us, knows what we are and that our happiness lies in Him. Yet we will not seek it in Him as long as he leaves us any other resort where it can even plausibly be looked for. While what we call ‘our own life’ remains agreeable we will not surrender it to Him. What then can God do in our interests but make ‘our own life’ less agreeable to us and take away the plausible source of false happiness.” The truth of these words cut me to the quick because I know how seldom I willingly relinquish that which God ultimately has to remove. Whatever or whomever stands in competition with God in my life must go. Then and only then will I truly be looking to Jesus.

The very losses that may cause me the greatest amount of pain and heartache are the avenues of freedom for my soul. If I do not give them up or God does not remove them, I will remain in a bondage of sorts. And yet even with this awareness I strain, stiffen my neck, and resist at many levels. Slowly but surely God is working to bring me into conformity with His ways. My heart cry has become, “Give me a teachable spirit. Increase my desire for Your will over my own. Help me to willingly open my close fists to You. At all costs, make me the person You created me to be. Remove all that enamors me until You have all of my heart and my attention.”

The words are easy to say but life has taught me the answer to such a prayer will entail painful moments. But in the midst of tears, sorrow, and heartache, there will also be joy, empowerment, and victory!

Father, each time I take my eyes off You I am in trouble. You know what will be necessary to redirect my focus. May I submit to whatever it takes. Amen.

Deliverance or Defeat?

Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2 (NKJV)

My mind is centered on three scenarios from Scripture this morning. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the fiery furnace, Daniel in the lions den, and Peter walking on the water. All five were in life threatening situations and needed God’s intervention and deliverance. The flames did not have an effect on the first three. Not even the smell of smoke was on them when they were removed from the furnace. Daniel was removed after a night with the lions without so much as a scratch on him. And then there is Peter. After a few successful steps he sank. And yet when he cried out to Jesus, his deliverance came. What made the difference in these situations?

I believe part of the answer lies in the focus of each person. It is my belief that the three Hebrews and Daniel were more focused on their Deliverer than their dilemma. This was going to be the case no matter what the outcome was. Peter, like so many of us at times, looked away from His Savior and focused on the storm. What could have been a walk of victory quickly became a harsh lesson in the law of gravity.

Two days ago, God showed me some specific steps to take in order to obtain freedom in a certain area of my life. As He revealed what needed to be done I was overjoyed to cooperate with Him because I knew it would lead to my deliverance. What will be the conditions for success? Continued obedience, reliance upon Him, and keeping my focus on Him. You see, I can spend my days looking at the very things I am stepping away from and focus on the ache that still comes at times, but that will only lead to discouragement and defeat. God has a better plan! Keep looking to Him and remembering the goal! Keep reminding myself it will lead to the freedom I desperately want and keep picturing what that freedom will eventually feel like. He will equip me with everything I need to get through this time of adjustment. The desire for freedom has finally become stronger than the fear of letting go.

Father, You knew when my cry for help went from being a mere desire to stop experiencing pain to an actual longing for freedom. Keep the view of Yourself and the promise for deliverance astutely in front of me at all times. Amen.

Three Important Actions

But He, having offered one sacrifice for sins for all time, sat down at the right hand of God. Hebrews 10:12 NASB

Many of us have taken comfort in the last words Jesus spoke from the cross, “It is finished!” Our sin debt was paid in full on that day over 2,000 years ago. As soon as a person receives Christ as Savior they put into affect that payment. How sad that many will never receive Christ’s payment for their sin and will end up making an eternity of payments in Hell on their own. The simple yet profound truth is that the acceptance of the payment comes with the acceptance of the Savior.

But two things happened after Christ spoke those words and died. First, He came back to life three days later. His resurrection from the dead was additional proof that He was who He said He was and His death was accepted as our payment. Without the resurrection, His death would have been in vain. All that He suffered on the way to the cross and while He hung on the cross would have ended up being a mere tragedy in human history. He had to be sinless in order to take our place and He would not have been sinless if He had lied. Since He said He would rise from the dead three days later, it would have been a lie had He not risen. That in itself would have hindered Him from being our payment for sin. Not only would our sin be unforgiven but we would face an eternity forever separated from God. There would be no relationship with God even in this life.

His death and resurrection are two thirds of the story. The climax of it all is that He sat down at the right hand of God. In Old Testament times, the priest stood daily when offering the sacrifices because his job was never finished. When Christ sat down His work was completed! One sacrifice for all sin for all time!

How does this apply to my life today? Every time I bring my sin to God for forgiveness I am assured of forgiveness because of Christ’s death, resurrection, and position at the right hand of God. There is no second guessing or doubting when I see the full and complete picture. There is also no reason to cower as I approach God since it was His will, desire, and pleasure to pay my sin debt.

Father, I bow in gratitude and awe this morning. The forgiveness of my sins is as complete as the payment that was made for them. May I never tire of reviewing and reveling in such a truth! Amen.