The One Who Can Fill You

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. Psalm 42:1 (New International Version)

Years ago I heard the saying that we are each born with a God-shaped vacuum that only God can fill. I equated it with salvation and moved on. Decades later, God is bringing that truth to life for me and I am astounded at the implications! We were each born with needs, longings, and desires. I picture them coming out of a huge cavern in my soul. A hollow place if you will. God created us with the needs, and wants us to know that He alone can meet those needs. For some, that concept is easily seen and easily digested. For others, the realization is slow in coming and the receiving of it is even slower.

I have spent the past few hours chewing on some things God was bringing to mind. It has been one “aha” moment after another. Like a massive jigsaw puzzle, the pieces have been sliding into place and I am now looking at the entire picture. The pieces have come from various sources but God alone has masterfully put them all together and I am over whelmed by the view!

This morning’s picture has to do with significance. That awareness and belief that our life matters and we are a valuable part of God’s creation. Some look for it in achievement, fame, riches, or success. I looked for it in people. While there were times individuals could make me “feel” significant they were never meant to be what gave me my significance. God alone is the source for that! When I would look to a person to fill my need for value and worth, it was like pouring water into a huge hole. The dirt saturated the water and the hole was still there. Remove the person and what little they were able to give you is removed as well. That is the way it is with any source.

As I faced my cavern, I finally saw that the only One who could fill it and continue to fill it is God. He alone is permanent and He alone is able. With a sense of sheer joy and delight I asked Him to fill the hole! Fill the place in me that has only grown deeper over the years with relationship upon relationship. Fill the place in me that has never been filled. The longing and desire is finally directed toward the only One who can satisfy. As the deer pants for the water, as the eagle yearns for the sky, as the prisoner longs for freedom, I reach for God and He is so very accessible. He has drawn me with cords of loving kindness and wooed me with tender words.

Father, the healing continues and I stand in awe of how You are accomplishing it. What I believed to be impossible is now happening and I praise You! Amen.

In Pursuit of Us

And the LORD God prepared a gourd, and made it to come up over Jonah, that it might be a shadow over his head, to deliver him from his grief. So Jonah was exceeding glad of the gourd. Jonah 4:6 (King James Version)

Today was the first time I have ever read through the book of Jonah and saw God’s pursuit of him. God pursued him in his place of comfort. (chap. 1) He pursued him when he ran. (chap. 2) He pursued him when he repented. (chap. 3) And He pursued him when he retreated in anger. (chap. 4) That is the place of today’s verse. God meets him in his grief and ministers to him.

We so often think of God as One who leaves us in our time of rebellion and anger. And yet David writes in Psalm 139 that no matter where we go, God has us encircled, enclosed, and hemmed in with His right hand on us! The knowledge of that in its entirety was too much for David to fully grasp. Think of it! God remains ever present and ever personal no matter what! This is not to say He approves of our sinful choices or ignores our actions. He does not set aside the sowing and reaping principle nor does He simply ignore our behavior. That would not be loving or wise on His part. But He desires restoration and deliverance for us just as He did for Jonah.

This morning I am reviewing in my mind the many different places I have been where God was still pursuing me. He pursued me as a lost sinner in need of a Savior. He pursued me in my camps of performance and legalism. He pursued me in my pursuit of others. He pursued me in my repentance and brokenness. And presently He pursues me in a time of healing and restoration. Like David, I am unable to grasp the knowledge of it. But God doesn’t expect me to understand it all. He simply desires that I embrace this aspect of Him and live life as a recipient of His mercy, love, and grace. He has promised to finish the work He started in me and I marvel as I see Him doing just that! Undeserving but delighted by it!

As you read this, I don’t know where you are in your walk with Him. You may be closer to Him than you have ever been before or you may be farther from Him than you ever thought you would be. I don’t know which it is but I know this: God is pursuing you every step of the way! He has enclosed you and has His right hand on you if you are His child through faith in Christ. He is not leaving and He is not letting go. He has a vested interest in you! Delight in that truth and own it. Let it sink in!

Father, You have put me in awe once again. The best and worst of me has not distracted, dismayed, or discouraged You from pursuing and wooing me. I cannot wrap my mind around that truth but I open my heart to it! Amen.

It's Time to Slow Down

I will feed them in a good pasture, and their grazing ground will be on the mountain heights of Israel. There they will lie down on good grazing ground and feed in rich pasture on the mountains of Israel. Ezekiel 34:14 (New American Standard)

God is working to expose an area in my life that He desires to repair and He is using several vehicles to do so. I am recalling the early days of my journey when I devoured book upon book to somehow “catch up” on truths about Him that I had missed. I couldn’t seem to read enough to feed my ravenous appetite. But there came a point when I realized I had taken in more truth than I knew what to do with. It was like I had filled my mind with a lot of facts that still needed to make their way to my heart and my daily experience.

A friend emailed me yesterday and shared a truth God had laid upon her heart to share. She was encouraging me to savor the things God was doing in my life and the lessons He was teaching me. She was imploring me to chew on the truths and meditate on them without moving immediately on to the next thing. To let God’s revelation go deep. God used her words to begin awakening in me the realization that I have a tendency to “learn and run” rather than “learn and rest“. There was a time I did this out of a sense of depravation and yet eventually it merely became habit for me.

This morning God became even more pointed in His message to me. I cannot miss the vivid picture He has brought to mind. He allowed me to do my normal reading of several chapters from the Bible followed by a half dozen or so devotional books. Throughout my reading there would be verses and phrases that flared up like fireworks in the distance and yet I would hurriedly move on to the next piece to read. When I came to the last book, He stopped me dead in my tracks and showed me this picture of myself. I was standing (not sitting) at a banquet table and I was moving from platter to platter nibbling away! I was barely tasting the food as I took it in. He showed me clearly THAT is exactly what I am doing with His Word. I am reading and nibbling morsels of truth. But I am not squeezing the flavor out of any of them! I am feeding but not feasting on His message to me. In light of today’s verse, I am running through the pastures rather than lying and grazing in them.

I was honest with Him as I admitted to not being sure how to slow down at this point. I have a feeling He is getting ready to walk me through the reasons I am in such a hurry and is poised to teach me how to implement His “table etiquette.”

Father, I want to learn to do this right. Keep me teachable to Your instructions and voice. Teach me how to get the most out of our time together. Amen.

A Journey Toward Forgiveness

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13 (New International Version)

What is it you struggle to forget? Who is it you struggle to forgive? I guarantee it is the very thing that is robbing you of peace, slowing your pace, darkening your path, draining your energy, binding you to the past, hindering you from moving forward, clouding your thoughts, limiting your effectiveness for God, casting a foreboding shadow on the sunniest of days, interfering with your ability to enjoy life, and keeping you from living the abundant life so often spoken of by Jesus. I don’t use those phrases because I have recently read them in a book or heard them delivered from a pulpit. I say them from personal experience. Those of us who have walked in bitterness and unforgiveness have no trouble describing the result of our own choice to do so. The longer we live tethered to the offenses and grievances of others the more easily the words pour out of us that describe what is going on inside us.

Sometimes things happen and words are spoken that affect you and you are able to quickly forgive the offender. But when the actions or words cut deeply and tear away at every fiber of your being, forgiveness will be a process that forever changes the dimensions of the word itself. Jesus set the example and gave the command, but He also provides the willingness and ability to carry out His desire. He knows there will be many steps to take on the road to total forgiveness and freedom.

The journey for me has come in stages. At times it felt like my shoes were covered in cement and progress was slow in coming. It took a while for me to realize and acknowledge the depth of my own pain. Layer upon layer of emotions had to be worked through in order to get to the core. Just admitting my tendency to hold on to the offense was a process. That then led to confession because that was a sin I was committing. But once that acknowledgement and confession transpired there was a necessary action I still needed to take. In some ways, it is the hardest and yet most productive.

For me it has been a matter of reviewing the very things I have been forgiven of and then systematically listing those things I am choosing to forgive in the other person. My forgiveness of another is always on the backdrop of God’s forgiveness of me. Each time this happens the wound is cleaned out a little more and the sense of freedom strengthened. Each time there is a moment of release for both myself and the other person. I am not going to rush this stage. I am willing to walk through the steps as many times as it takes until the chains have been completely severed and lie in a heap. No one will have to tell me when that is the case. I will know and so will Christ.

Father, I am seeing an aspect of forgiveness I never knew. Thank you for walking me through the entire process. Amen.

A Different Battle Tactic

For in the day of trouble He will hide me in His shelter; in the secret place of His tent will He hide me; He will set me high upon a rock. Psalm 27:5 (Amplified Bible)

Ask anyone who has been a Christian for any length of time and they will testify to the fact that we are in a battle. Whether it is in the spiritual, physical, or emotional realm of life we are often engaged in battle daily with either the world, the flesh, or the devil. Realizing this truth does not necessarily make it easy but at least it allows us to know who we are fighting against. But that is only half the story. Not only are we in a battle but we have weapons to use while fighting. Ephesians 6 lists the armor we are to put on daily….armor that is both offensive and defensive. There is also the power found in learning to pray Scripture and along with that learning to use our God-given authority. The list goes on and on. It boils down to warfare praying and warfare living.

So I was taken back yesterday when in the midst of what I knew to be an attack, God revealed another aspect that was new for me. As thoughts became dark and emotions ran wild, I sensed His invitation to hide in Him until the storm passed. Rather than a time to fight it became a time to rest. I will be honest with you, I didn’t know that was ever an option. And it worked! In the midst of the battlefield, He became my hiding place and shelter. And within that shelter, He exposed issues of my heart that needed to be addressed. Rather than fight the external forces, He was leading me to deal with some internal forces. And what were they? Fears, disappointments, loneliness, discomfort, wounds. Unless confronted and dealt with they would fester. God in His wisdom removed this soldier from the fight just as a wounded soldier would be removed from the battlefield.

For the entire day I stayed hidden. And when the night fell, the words of honesty poured from my mouth just as the tears fell from my eyes. As the depths of my heart were exposed, His healing balm was applied. What followed was a good night’s rest and a sense of refreshment when I woke. My internal world feels like the calm after the storm. I can almost smell the rain. When my eyes landed on today’s verse I KNEW that was what God had done and I am in awe of Him!

I am always amazed when I turn a spiritual corner and learn a new aspect of God and how He works. He is definitely a God of variety and victory. And I take that truth with me into a new day.

Father, there is so much about You that I still do not know. Thank you for the intentional ways You reveal yourself to me. Amen.

Victory Rather Than Defeat

In You, O LORD, I put my trust; let me never be ashamed; deliver me in Your righteousness. Bow down Your ear to me, deliver me speedily; be my rock of refuge, a fortress of defense to save me. For You are my rock and my fortress; therefore, for Your name’s sake, lead me and guide me. Psalm 31:1-3 (New King James Version)

The enemy of our soul wants nothing more than to keep us in bondage to addictions, strongholds, and harmful mindsets. When we do find freedom from those things, he wants nothing more than to lure us back into them. He is not usually blatant about it. He approaches with what seems like innocent thoughts and hidden consequences. But things are never as they appear. Like a fisherman who hides the hook with an appetizing worm, he dangles the bait in front of us in hopes that we will dwell on the temptation long enough to go for it. Like a single drink to a recovering alcoholic, he knows one “taste” will be enough to enslave us again.

David gives the answer to all such times of temptation. Trust in the Lord! Not in your own ability to resist. Not in countless friends. Not in a change of activity or distraction of the mind. Trust, rely, depend, lean upon the Lord. Cry out to Him as your deliverer, refuge, defense, rock, and fortress. See Him as the One who will lead and guide you. He is the only lasting source and solution to the schemes of a vicious, plotting enemy.

God’s first move may be just to simply get your mind off the very thoughts that seem so appealing. He may take you down a mental trail and reveal to you the end of your actions if you go through with the thoughts. He is intent on keeping you free and will do everything He can to help you cooperate with Him. While He will not over ride your free will, He will help you to align your will with His. He will help you to desire victory more than what seems to be such a strong pull at the moment. He will help you to “swim away” from the baited hook into a spacious place of freedom and delight.

David knew times of defeat and times of victory. Taste enough victory and the thought of defeat becomes unappealing and avoidable. God’s desire is that we always see there is an option. There is always a way of escape. There is always a choice. While God cannot over ride our free will, neither can the enemy. God has provided everything we need to turn away from even the most powerful, pleasant looking temptation. A good place to start is in voicing, out loud, the prayer David left for us in Psalm 31. By the time you get to verse 3, I guarantee the temptation will be downsized and the taste of victory will already be within your grasp. Don’t give up! Don’t give in!

Father, You heard my cries and came to my aid. Once again the enemy’s plans and desires have been thwarted. I raise my hands and voice to You in adoration and praise! Hallelujah! You have set this captive free! Amen.

Receiving Needed Truths

Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 (New American Standard Bible)

God’s desire to be in intimate relationship with His children is displayed in today’s verse. His longing for us to see Him as the lover of our soul and supplier of all our needs is clearly stated but often unrealized by many. The awareness of God’s offer to us is often born out of our places of emptiness, brokenness, and failure. Hence, the ability to receive His strength and help is brought about when we are willing to let go of our preconceived ideas and all the substitutes we have been holding on to. As long as there are any other voices we are listening to or hands we are holding on to, God’s words will fall on deaf ears and a closed heart.

This past weekend I had the privilege and joy of speaking at a women’s Christmas brunch. The two truths I shared with that small group came out of my own experiences of disillusionment and disappointment. I have heard it said that God must put to death the very things that hinder us from knowing Him intimately and personally. While the process of death was excruciating at times the resurrection of hope found in Him has been beyond description.

Although I have known Christ as my Savior for over three decades it took thirty years for me to embrace the truth that I was His beloved. I failed to see that in God’s eyes I am esteemed, dearly loved, favored, valued, and welcome. In order to see that, He had to first release me from the mindset that performance and a list of do’s and don’ts was the way to His heart. Letting go of what seemed so right and taking hold of what seemed so foreign was long in coming but pure gold when realized.

It took four additional years to begin to understand another powerful truth. That being, God’s willingness, desire, and ability to supply everything I need. Not merely my physical and spiritual needs but my deep emotional needs as well. As long as I had individuals to look to, I unknowingly kept God at arm’s length. Taking hold of His hand and receiving His filling and completeness came only as I lost or let go of my varied counterfeit messiahs (those individuals whom I looked to as a way to be fixed, filled, and healed). Looking to them for what only God can do was like entering an apple orchard and expecting to find oranges or bananas. Many were the times I partook of the crumbs of relationship instead of the feast God was offering.

God’s extravagant love and endless supply are now the gifts I open daily. While I still experience moments of failure, I am delighting in moments of victory.

Father, there were times I didn’t understand Your ways and the removal of my sources of security. But I now thank You for removing all that blinded me from seeing You and blocked me from hearing You. Amen.