Embracing Forgiveness

So David said to God, “I have sinned greatly, because I have done this thing; but now, I pray, take away the iniquity of Your servant, for I have done very foolishly.” I Chronicles 21:8 (New King James Version)

David had allowed himself to be manipulated by Satan. He took a census of his people and brought about God’s wrath. Heartbroken and repentant of his sin, he prayed the equivalent of I John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” David’s confession entailed acknowledging his sin, taking responsibility for his sin, realizing the sin was against God, seeking God’s forgiveness and cleansing, and turning from his sin. He came into agreement with God concerning his sin. The result? While there were still consequences, he was forgiven, cleansed, and restored to right fellowship with God. Oh, that we could grasp the necessity and simplicity of right confession and promised restoration! Too often that is not the case. And why is that?

Sometimes it may have to do with the way discipline was handled in our life as a small child. If it was simply a time of anger and punishment we tend to put that response on God. We struggle to see Him as the loving father of the returning prodigal. There may be a tendency to be consumed with guilt, shame, and regret while sensing anger in His eyes, harshness in His voice, and resistance in His heart. Uncertainty that God would actually long for forgiveness and reconciliation we may opt for the route Adam and Eve took and go into hiding. What a tragedy that any time would be wasted on taking God up on His extravagant offer of forgiveness!

We also walk in ignorance of how involved Satan is in all of this. He is the ultimate deceiver, tempter, seducer, and provoker. While he cannot force us to sin, he and his cohorts do a masterful job at dangling temptations in front of us, using our weaknesses, and targeting the right areas. Once we give in to his suggestions, he then distorts the truth about God and the availability of forgiveness. While God offers cleansing, he convinces us it is too late, too hard, or too costly to accept it.

May we learn to live as David lived. Yes he sinned but he knew God in such a way that he was able to acknowledge the sin and embrace the forgiveness! He was a man after God’s own heart because God’s heart is always directed toward reconciliation. His experience of radical forgiveness can be ours if we would just reach out and take it!

Father, You have seen me cower and hide many times. Thank you for showing me the nature and gift of forgiveness. May David’s story be my own! Amen.

Mercy Said No - CECE WINANS
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Z_SjhKJgqGg&feature=related

When I Would Rather Not Say

O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. Psalm 139:1-4 (New International Version)

David knew that God knew him inside and out. There was not a thought, word, or action that ever escaped His notice. To God, he was an open book and he had no trouble admitting the times he was angry, fearful, lonely, upset, suspicious, jealous, sinful, sad, excited, joyful, or just plain beside himself. He knew how to praise God as well as question Him. He knew how to cry tears of joy as well as tears of sorrow on God’s shoulder. He knew the freedom of saying, “Here is what is really going on inside of me!” He does that very thing through out the entire book of Psalms.

Oh, how I need the reminders of God this morning. I need to once again curl up with the truth that He knows me….really knows me! He is perceptive, discerning, and familiar with every thing about me. How intimate! His question of “How are you?” is never meant to invoke shame or cause me to lose eye contact with Him. He knows it all and wants to hear it all from my mouth. Honest, open dialogue is what He wants to draw me into with Himself. Rather than shallow, general statements, He wants raw, vulnerable conversation with all the specifics. With Him, one question leads to others which always run deep. He is after the roots and causes of my feelings and my thoughts.

I grew up in a home where that just wasn’t done. Questions were not asked and feelings were not shared. There seemed to be a sense that sharing meant risks. The risk of being misunderstood or worse yet ignored. Hence, I was not one to confide. Instead, I internalized and still do that today. God wants to change that. He wants me to open up more with Him and others even when I’m afraid and apprehensive. Even when the thought fills me with a sense of failure, embarrassment, and uneasiness. Even when everything in me is convinced it is safer to not do so. Is there a risk? Absolutely! But God is letting me know that without taking that risk I will never know what it is like to be unconditionally loved and accepted. I know that is the case with Him. He wants me to see there are individuals who will do the same. They have His heart.

God whispers to me, “Come out of hiding, Pam. Hiding behind a smile and an ‘all is well’ façade. Those who know you best can see the truth in your eyes and hear it in your voice. I will listen and so will they but you must talk. You must share. You must admit the truth in the inward parts. Trust Me and the ones I bring into your life.”

Father, You are showing me the hindrances in my relationship with You as well as with others. Help me to find my voice amidst the silence. Amen.


He Knows My Name by Maranatha Singers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXsiWoyjw60

Every Thought

We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5 (New American Standard Bible)

The picture has been clear in my mind for days. I see myself within a cave with numerous caverns. The biggest and darkest part reveals chains hanging from a portion of the wall. Although they are long and foreboding they have no lock. I have three choices. I can stay far away from them, return to a close proximity of them, or wrap myself up in them and allow them to hold me captive. What are the chains? Thought patterns that would easily spiral me down emotionally. The enemy of my soul wants nothing more than to lure me to them and his attempts at doing that are endless. He uses various thoughts, situations, memories, even music, as bait that has lines leading right to the chains. I must be aware of the connection he will make if given the chance. If I don’t resist and I just keep dwelling on the thoughts, I will find myself wrapped in the chains.

So how do I keep that from happening? How do I stay away from the chains? I must stay acutely aware of what he is doing and how he is doing it. I must look for where my thoughts will eventually lead me. Those that lead to the chains must not be allowed to play out in my mind. The moment I am aware of dangerous thinking I must do what today’s verse clearly says…destroy them and take each one captive. The choice is mine, the responsibility is mine, and through Christ, the ability is mine.

It helps me to acknowledge what it would mean if I don the chains. It would mean sadness, shame, discouragement, and darkness. To that I say “no thank you!” I don’t want it and don’t need it. Resisting, renouncing, and rejecting each thought works! I may not be able to stop the enemy from his attempts, but I can certainly stop him from being victorious. Today, I still see the cave and the chains. I know this will be another day of battle but I also know the outcome as I obey the instructions Christ has given me. I have tasted defeat as well as victory in this area of mindsets and imaginations. Today I choose victory!

I stand on the truth that I am a privileged participant in a battle that truly belongs to the Lord. He has supplied me with all I need to fight successfully. I am aware of my enemy and his tactics, but even more aware of my Lord and the armor He has supplied for me. Through His Word and His Spirit I will stand. Stand indeed!

Father, so often I have been intimidated by the attacks and attempts of the enemy. Today, I straighten my back, square my shoulders, and poise myself for the battles You will help me win! I praise You for the triumph of Your ways. Amen.

The Battle Belongs to The Lord - Spiritual Warfare
http://youtube.com/watch?v=DMZ8D6nTKhg

Never On My Own

Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 (New American Standard Bible)

Oh how these words speak comfort to my soul! Last night, I found myself getting fearful and anxious about today because I knew human hands were not going to be sustaining me. I knew I would be needing to apply some recently learned truths throughout the day and there would be no person walking along side me as I did it. The thought itself made me uneasy and I asked God why it was that way. His answer was quick in coming. He helped me to see that being outside the voice and view of individuals whom I have come to trust leaves me feeling alone and on my own. He was right! Then He began to assure me that I was not alone or on my own at all. He helped me to realize the preciousness of His presence that would go with me and remain with me throughout my day.

As I step into today I am very aware that His eye and hand are on me. His ear is open to my cries for help. His Spirit indwells me and I am infused with His Word. His counsel will be available and trustworthy. He will faithfully supply my needs throughout today. It was all there yesterday and it will certainly be here today. Nothing has changed in regards to His strengthening, helping, and upholding me with His righteous right arm. As I see all of that I am enveloped with a peace that I have known little of in my life time.

Far too many times I have focused on the help and encouragement that came from people, when all the while the God of the Universe longed for me to see Him as my primary Source for every thing. Even what I was receiving from people was coming from Him. As I come to see the truth of that, I am realizing the absence of His vessels never removes the very things He gives me through them. From time to time, people will be there for me but once again I embrace the truth that He is my Shepherd, Guide, Helper, Defender, Stronghold, Protector, Counselor, Friend, Shield, Security, and constant Companion. I go into this day firmly held and abound with the joy of it all!

Father, You have never stepped away for even a moment. I have never been out of Your sight or care. Thank you for all the times that will be evident to me throughout today! Amen.

All I once held dear - Robin Mark
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SI6_4KxTg2k

Answered When I Asked

As soon as you began to pray, an answer was given. Daniel 9:23 (New International Version)

I have often thought of my prayers as being “answered” when I could see the manifestation of that answer. I am being taught something profound from the book of Daniel this morning that is altering my view of prayer. According to Daniel 9:23, my prayers, those which are spoken in Jesus’ name and according to His will, are answered as soon as I voice them. The New American Standard Bible says the command is issued at the beginning of my supplication.

When I have read accounts in Scripture of instant healings and deliverances, I have drawn the conclusion that all answers to prayer look like that. When that is not the case, I flounder at Jesus’ words that tell me to ask anything in His name and it shall be given. Because I don’t see instant change in my circumstances or life I assume I have either asked in a wrong way or misunderstood His promise. This morning He is smiling as He tenderly shows me I have asked correctly and His promise has been kept.

So what’s the problem? Why does it seem that the things I have petitioned Him for have fallen on deaf ears? What happened? I failed to understand that time can lapse between God granting my request and me experiencing the answer. It doesn’t mean He hasn’t answered my prayer. It means there are things that must be done in and around me to bring about the full manifestation of that answer. Let me explain.

Four years ago I asked God to give me a walk with Him like the one I saw in another individual. I wanted His Word to come alive to me. I wanted to trust Him with abandon. I wanted to hear His voice and understand His leading in my life. Basically, I wanted a genuine, authentic walk with Him. One that was intimate and personal. When I asked, He answered! What I didn’t realize was there would be a process He would have to take me through in order for that to all be true in my life. The process would entail showing me all that hinders me from walking with Him in that way. Hindrances such as idols of my heart, wrong mindsets, lies I have embraced, and so on. I would have to see the places of bondage and addiction that kept me chained to my former way of living. I would have to learn how to let go of those things in order to take hold of His hand.

This morning is an eye opener for me. I am now seeing all the ways that God has actually been answering my prayer and I didn’t even know it! The difficulties, hurts, disappointments, lessons, and tiny steps of growth have been what He has been using to bring about what I had asked for. I wanted a magic wand waved and He wisely used real life!

Father, I praise You for hearing and answering my prayer. I now realize that every day the answer continues to unfold right in front of me! You once again have me in awe! Amen.

In His Time
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Wo-rGzx2OZk

He Must Increase

He must increase, but I must decrease. John 3:30 (New American Standard Bible)

John the Baptist not only spoke these words to his disciples but he believed them. He lived them. He knew preeminence and prominence were Christ’s alone. What had to decrease was his image, his ministry, his position, his standing, his focus, his message, his influence, his following, his time, his will. None of that was a threat to him but rather a foundation for rejoicing. He knew better than to have it any other way. Others had to be taught the truth that epitomized his life…that of following, loving, and worshiping Christ with abandon.

I have found that allowing Christ to increase leads to the decrease of other things. But it is so easy to mistakenly try to reverse that order. I can often times draw the false conclusion that if I make things less important than I will more easily make Christ more important. He reminds me that is earthly thinking. Kingdom thinking knows that drawing closer to Him will lead to drawing away from that which is in competition for my heart.

I am asking myself this morning as Christ increases, what or who must decrease in my life? The answer lies in who or what has the majority of my attention and affections. That which my mind is consumed with on a continual basis. It is always me as a whole that must decrease. But along with that it is other people, problems, situations, aspirations, interests, failures, areas of bondage, schedule, or idols of my heart. It is not a matter of behavior modification but rather internal transformation. It comes not by squelching or suppressing what is in me but rather in pursuing God with all my heart, soul, and mind. The more He increases the more the others will decrease. It is the natural result of seeing Him for all He is and Who He is.

I know what it is like to have a person or thing become so important to me that it becomes the center of my life. Christ reminds me that is His place alone. I know what it is like to engage my heart in the throws of an unhealthy, unbalanced relationship. Christ reminds me balance will only come as I stay in intimate relationship with Him. I know what it is like to place all my hopes and dreams on something or someone outside of Christ. He reminds me He alone must be the One I direct my heart and worship toward. I know what it is like to attempt to derive my identity, worth, and significance from relationships or accomplishments. Christ reminds He is the true Source for each of those areas. What I know and what He continually reminds me of is a huge aspect of this journey.

Father, increase! Amen.

Left Alone

Then all the disciples forsook him, and fled. Matthew 26:56 (King James Version)

While here on earth, Jesus experienced pain, hurt, and sorrow of great proportion. He knew betrayal at the hand of one He chose and loved. He knew the loneliness of being let down at a time of great need. And He knew the reality of being abandoned in the presence of His enemies. The fact that He knew this would happen made it no less painful. Oh the comfort and strength that comes when just one person will stick with you through the difficulties of life. Oh the agony when that does not happen.

Some who are reading this know what I am talking about. The unfaithfulness of a spouse, the betrayal of a business partner, the deliberate departure of a close friend, rejection, desertion, and abandonment. Few people know it in its entirety but even one time is enough to leave you emotionally crippled for years. The more significant the person is in your life the more devastating the effects. Some know the sting of rejection through no fault of their own. Others know it as a result of their personal actions. Whether it is the consequence of your own choices or the decision of the other person the effect is felt.

When I review my own life I realize I have never known deliberate, intentional rejection. But I have known the emotional withdrawal of significant people, the unavailability of friends, and the feeling of being forgotten. This was a big factor in my home growing up. When drinking and bars had the full attention of my parents the seeds of neglect, loneliness, and abandonment took root. Those seeds grew over the years and left me with harsh messages toward myself and others when I experienced even the normal let downs of life. God and I are still going through the process of seeing where the lies, misinterpretations, and feelings stem from. He is showing me the way to emotional freedom!

Whether it is actual forsaking or simply an emotional response because of personal baggage, healing begins when I take in Jesus’ words of I will never leave you or forsake you. I am with you always. The One who knows the pain of ultimate rejection and abandonment will never withdraw from His own. When no other human source is available He receives my tears, hears my cries, and keeps giving me His assuring words of, “I am here. I am not going anywhere. You are not alone.”

Father, thank you for your tender and constant presence. Amen.