Accepting the Oil

Let the righteous strike me; It shall be a kindness. And let him rebuke me;
It shall be as excellent oil; Let my head not refuse it. For still my prayer is against the deeds of the wicked. Psalm 141:5 (New King James Version)

In the middle of a Psalm where David is acknowledging the works of his enemies and asking God to take action against them and not allow their agendas to be successful, lies this precious verse that is an aspect of authentic friendship. It speaks volumes to me and allows me to see rebuke and correction in a whole new light.

When an individual has to call me on the carpet for wrong attitudes and actions, my natural tendency is to back away and feel hurt. To me it doesn’t feel kind or soothing. I can quickly draw the conclusion that their rebuke comes out of a dislike of me rather than a heart of love for me. As a matter of fact, it doesn’t even have to be a verbal rebuke….it can simply be the withholding of what I want from them. Yet they and God have better plans for me. Plans for success and wholeness.

Relationships are so much a part of my life. I thrive in them. Lately though, God is shifting some things and the scenes of my life are taking on a whole new look. I keep seeing myself on a frozen lake attempting to ice skate. The falls are many and often painful. It was easier when others stood next to me and kept me on my feet. Their help was a necessary part of my journey, but the time has come for them to take some steps back so that I will truly learn how to skate on my own. That is the only way for me to gain necessary skill, coordination, and muscle development.

So where does today’s verse come in? Last night, a person who knows me better than most came out on the lake, gave me words of correction and instruction, pulled me to my feet again, and reminded me of the necessity to make wise choices. Not all of her words were easy to hear but they were definitely oil on my head. Oil that would have a profound affect on my thoughts and motives. She didn’t stay on the lake with me. She is purposefully and wisely standing at a distance to watch and pray. She knows that what was helpful at one time would be a hindrance now. She and God both want me to experience free style skating with all the turns, whirls, and grace that is possible.

This morning I am starting my day with the oil still on my head and thankful for the one whom God used to put it there. Today will be a day of staying on my feet a little longer as I continue to master the art of skating!

Father, keep showing me any debris on the lake of my life that hinders me from truly skating free. I look forward to the day when freedom of movement marks my path. Amen.

In His Time
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo-rGzx2OZk&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Temporary Times

When He had said this, He spat on the ground, and made clay of the spittle, and applied the clay to his eyes, and said to him, "Go, wash in the pool of Siloam" (which is translated, Sent) So he went away and washed, and came back seeing. John 9:6, 7 (New American Standard Bible)

I have been thinking today of not only this miracle account in Scripture but many that played out in similar fashion. Every physical situation imaginable… blindness, deafness, leprosy, cripples, paralysis, demon possession, epilepsy….were no match for Jesus’ pronouncement of healing. What I find fascinating is that in each case the problem was permanently gone! This man who was blind from birth and received his sight, did not spend the rest of his life battling any trace of blindness. His sight was his from that point on. In each case where a miracle had happened the healing was permanent…excluding the raising of the dead who later died again. Their healing was complete and permanent.

I long for Jesus to apply a type of clay to my soul and heal me of my internal issues as profoundly and permanently as the physical healings I read of in Scripture. To no longer be confronted with returning bouts of sadness, emotional dependency, loneliness, and heartaches. When I have a good day I mistakenly think it is permanent. I have felt healed and even proclaimed it, only to eventually see the “healing” fade and the issues resurface. I have come to realize one thing. What I often deem as a healing is more of a temporary reprieve. It is a restful time but not a permanent place. At those times, it feels good to laugh and smile. How disheartening when the laughter dies down and the smile subsides. How anti climatic to realize I am living in a fallen world, with a fallen nature, and weaknesses too numerous to count. I despise the patterns and cycles!

Today has been a day of understanding the ebb and flow of my emotions. I am accepting the fact that permanent relief will most likely not be mine until I leave this world and become a permanent resident of Heaven. Strangely enough, this is comforting for me to realize. It takes away the pressure to be perfect and puts a stop to the condemning thoughts that I am doing something wrong. I want to begin noticing the many emotional reprieves God blesses me with throughout each day rather than cringing at the failures. While I cannot claim a healing for now, I can rejoice in progress made and with that I smile.

Father, just when I think the abundant life is out of reach for me, You come and comfort me. In the midst of every emotional battle, move me forward. Amen.

I Have A Shelter
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhmS6VvPm84&feature=PlayList&p=F0BA1ACD8C2BFC55&index=54

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

God's Word to Me

The LORD will accomplish what concerns me; Your lovingkindness, O LORD, is everlasting; Do not forsake the works of Your hands. Psalm 138:8 (New American Standard Bible)

I absolutely love it when I read a verse and know without a doubt that it is God’s Word to me right now….right where I am at! It may answer a question or show direction or fill a need. It may be the summation of what He has been doing. Whatever the case, it re-ignites my faith and hope for the journey. Those are the two major things that take a hit when I fail or struggle with a heart issue. Yet, when I come away from the failure and the struggle subsides, God is there with a lesson, with instruction, with assurance, and with a word.

The past few days have been wrought with wrong thinking and conclusions. Questioning where I was at on the journey and feeling more of a failure than a success, I so badly wanted to crawl back under the care of others, have them strengthen me emotionally, and make them responsible for me. The pull toward depending on others and giving into that pull will only serve to strengthen the very addiction I want to be free of. Yet, God blocked that from happening last night. He blocked a conversation from taking place, He blocked a phone call from being made, and He blocked an email from being sent. Why? He knew that each would only be done as a way to feed off a substitute for Himself. That is not what He wants for me. That is not what is good for me. That is not what this journey is about. I went to bed with one prayer voiced, “God, show me where I am at on this journey.”

When I awoke this morning what had such a strong pull on me last night was weakened and I was strengthened. I began to see the truth of who I am in Christ. A victor not a victim. Whole not incomplete. Healthy not in need of healing. A precious vessel in His hands not a broken piece of pottery in the hands of others. Then I came across today’s verse and heard His word to me. He is working on me, loving me, and sticking with me. The answer to my prayer of last night of where I am at is this…..right in His hands, under His care, and close to His heart. Am I in need of care, emotional strength, and change? Yes, His!!!!

Father, You never give up on the work of Your hands. You never deem me an impossible case. Keep teaching me. Keep showing me. Keep molding me. I give You praise. I rest in Your love. Amen.

Shout To The Lord - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I71XhjqoHvs

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.
　

Looking for the Balance

Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18 (New American Standard Bible)

It has always puzzled me that when Adam had only God and the animals in the Garden of Eden God said it wasn’t good for him to be alone. As one who battles dependency issues on a daily basis, God’s words spoken about Adam confuse me. I keep thinking God is suppose to be enough. God is suppose to be all I need. There is the pull toward others but I am told it is an idol of my heart. I am told that God gives us people in our life to encourage us, help us, strengthen us, and love us. Yet when I look for those things I am told to get my eyes back on Jesus. There seems to be a limit and I feel I am always stepping over that limit.

As a child, I never thought I loved people too much. All I know is that I enjoyed friendships. As an adult, I am told to come to Jesus like a child and live out my Christian life in child likeness. Yet when it comes to relationships I feel I am asked to live on a college level. Accept help from others but don’t look to them to be your help. Fellowship is necessary for us but don’t get excited over it. Interactions with others has become an area of my life that lacks freedom and spontaneity. I feel I am constantly tightening the reigns on my natural longings and desires. I am told to be myself. Be the person God made me and yet for the most part that entails denial of how I think and feel and a holding back.

God said it was not good for man to be alone and yet I feel like I am suppose to live isolated from anyone who is special to me. Relationships are like a swinging pendulum to me….always going from one extreme to the next. So where do I find a balance? Realize it is not an either/or choice between God and people. People are God’s gift and He wants me to come to place of being able to appreciate and accept those gifts of friendship with Him at the center. When I meet with a friend it is really a three-some…me, the person, and God. God is not upset that I delight in the ones He crosses my path with. My relationship with others is meant to be a good thing. At times, people are used to fill the voids and holes in my life. I just want to be at peace with that rather than live with a sense of condemnation and failure. I want to find the balance between relationships with people and my relationship with God. May God speak His “not good” over every wrong conclusion I draw.

Father, help me to see that my walk with You includes (not excludes) others. Settle my mind and my heart on this issue. I bring my questions to You for only You can supply the answers. Amen.

For Good
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzrGFQysfYU

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Means for Encouragement

By all this we are encouraged. 2 Corinthians 7:13 (New International Version)

Have you ever known someone who never seemed to have a bad day? They seemed to walk in victory 24/7. They seemed to handle sin, sorrow, and difficulties with confidence and ease. I have naively believed that to be the case with a few people. I finally asked a woman whom I greatly admire if she ever struggled with the issues of life. I was profoundly struck by her answer. Knowing that I was under the assumption that she was above the struggles, she let me know that she faces many struggles and (like every one else) has to apply the truths and principles of God’s Word to her life on a DAILY basis. Her admittance to me served as an encouragement that struggles do not mean I am failing, they mean I am simply breathing and still living in a fallen world with a sin nature.

So knowing this, what is it that encourages me? God is reminding me of a number of things that He uses to help me when life gets hard and tears water the path I am on. I turn to them often out of necessity. My internal world will not see growth or change without them. Let me share them with you.

Music! In the early part of 2004 I asked God to give me the freedom to listen to music that ministers to me. What I didn’t realize at the time was how powerfully music would do just that. There are so many songs available today that were written out of difficult circumstances and they serve as balm for my soul on a continual basis.

Believers! I am encouraged by the walk of other Christians. When I hear their stories and see how far God has brought them, my faith is strengthened that He will work in me as well. I marvel that at one time they voiced the very things I voice today. The radical change I see in them causes me to cry out to God for the same to be done in my own life.

Honesty! When I come before God, stripped of all pretenses, pretending, and facades, I open myself up to His encouragement. As I have learned to pour out my heart to Him and admit what is really going on inside, He has comforted me and given me a fresh supply of joy for my sadness. The exchange is always refreshing!

Scripture! For too much of my Christian life I rarely opened Scripture on a daily basis and when I did I failed to apply it to my life. Speaking His Word over my circumstances and implementing it into my prayer life has been the catalyst for growth and change. There is no encouragement without it!

Father, I have not listed all the ways You encourage me but these have been profound. They are a part of my connection with You that keeps expanding. Amen.

Everlasting God - Chris Tomlin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgyokeWf54k

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Losing Sight of Others

He must increase, but I must decrease. John 3:30 (King James Version)

John’s words were clear and to the point to any who looked to him as their leader, guide, teacher, or source. The Message Bible puts it this way, This is the assigned moment for him to move into the center, while I slip off to the sidelines. The NIV puts it this way, He must become greater; I must become less. However it reads, the truth I must grasp is the necessity to fix my attention on Jesus more than on His messengers and servants. It is an ongoing struggle for me to do so. I know myself too well. I have a propensity toward becoming enamored with people. I have experienced making significant people the center of my world and I have experienced the pain of having that world crumble. I am not proud of this aspect of myself but I am aware of it and honest about it. I see it for what it is and desire change.

This weekend I had the privilege of attending a Beth Morre simulcast. Of all the things I took away with me (and there was plenty to take away) the most profound aspect was a prayer I have begun to voice to God. My prayer is that He would give me a heart that delights in Him, is enamored with Him, excited about Him, passionate for Him, and fully captivated by Him. I long for Him to not only be the center of my world but to be my world! As far as I am concerned, there is no other way to pull my heart away from people and on to Himself. The idols of my heart will not lose their grip on me or place in me until He takes center stage.

Recently, God has begun showing me aspects of my heart, addictions, and longings, and the view is not pretty. The issues are many and at times over whelming. I feel like a small child holding a large tangled ball of yarn. If left on my own, untangling it is too daunting. Today was a day I lifted the ball of yarn to Jesus and, with tears streaming down my face, asked Him to help me straighten out the mess. I am desperate to be whole and healed. I am hungry to know what it is like to walk in freedom with a sense of security and identity that can only be found in Christ.

The journey I am on has taken a turn. I use to view it as a path to walk on in various terrains. Now it has become a frozen pond on which to skate. I have the skates on and am on the pond. But learning to skate entails many falls and hard landings. I am aware that the ability to stay up and move more gracefully will come with time. For now, each time I fall must be followed by a decision to stand up again. To try again. To get a little further. Each time.

Father, the support beams have been removed once again. You are my hope. Teach me to look to You. Help me to delight in You and live with the awareness that You delight in me. I stand up again and move forward. Amen.

You Are My All In All - Dennis Jernigan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9Up58OEtps

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

A Private vs. Public Display

Whenever you fast, do not put on a gloomy face as the hypocrites do, for they neglect their appearance so that they will be noticed by men when they are fasting. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face so that your fasting will not be noticed by men, but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. Matthew 6:16-18 (New American Standard Bible)

The Pharisees of Jesus’ day wanted to be seen and noticed by others. Matthew 6 gives three instances where their public performance was exposed. Their righteous acts, benevolence toward the poor, and fasting were on display for all to see….they made sure of it. Sometimes it was with trumpets and fanfare. Sometimes it was with their countenance and appearance. Something in them needed the attention. Something in them needed others to know what they were doing. What should have been private acts and known only to God and themselves became the drama on their stage of life.

Yesterday, I asked God about my own tendencies toward public displays. I asked Him why it was that I often need others to know when I am struggling with emotional issues….to know I am sad, fearful, or distraught. It is not that I necessarily tell them with my words as much as show them with a gloomy face, slumped shoulders, and noticeable silence. Something in me was choosing this route of behavior and putting a stop to it would not come without God’s revelation.

God proceeded to take me down a trail of reasoning that astounded me. It went as such. I show the sadness so sympathy and attention from others will be evoked. It makes me feel cared for and loved. The need for what I deem as love drives my behavior. It is just one aspect of trying to fill the holes in my soul with what I can derive from others rather than what I can receive from my Father. Once I saw the reason, God graciously gave me a step of obedience to take in order to begin correcting my behavior. His words to me were, “Pam, you must begin practicing a disposition that does not let others know you are having a bad day. In your smile, voice, and body language you must display My joy and peace that resides in you. Those simple changes will be what I use to actually change your heart and mind. This is the beginning of you losing your bent toward living out of your neediness. Trust Me and obey.” With joy I am here to tell you that it works! I was amazed that when my face and voice changed it lead to internal changes. It is a kingdom principle I am seeing for the first time and I want to embrace it!

With that said, I do want to clarify that there are times when it is appropriate to show sadness. The loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, and true devastations of life are some of those times. The personal example I gave had more to do with showing sadness as a way to simply feed off the sympathy of others for the sake of emotions. Of THAT I seek to be free!

Father, I praise You for showing me the things I need to know. How I have lived my life up to this point is merely a shadow of how You would have me live it. Keep removing the hindrances to the abundant life! Amen.

There is Joy in the Lord - Cheri Keaggy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMhTFzzvIs4

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.