What's Behind it All?

Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Luke 6:37 (New King James Version)

I use to call it perception and felt it was my biggest hindrance to walking in joy and freedom. It was my label for having an idea about what someone was thinking and then responding as if it were the truth. Last night, God used my most recent experience as a wake up call to me. As I struggled to fall asleep and began allowing Him to reveal my heart to me, He wasted no time in pinpointing the problem. Perception was the symptom of a deeper problem. It was being fed by nothing short of judging another individual.

With a little word study, I found that judging means to be of an opinion about someone or something. Condemn means to pronounce one guilty. My perceptions are actually the process of judging and my negative response is the process of condemning. If I struggle with other issues such as insecurity, jealousy, or discontentment, the processes are even more profound.

So how does this work in my life? I enter a room and draw the conclusion that someone does not care about me or want me there by something that is done or not done, said or not said, and WHAM court is officially in session. The “evidence” mounts as every action or word becomes “proof” that my feelings and thoughts are based on truth. In my mind, there is a verdict of guilt and the sentence is to withdraw into a mode of silence and detachment. While my demeanor is noticed it is not understood at all because the individual has no idea they have done anything…and they haven’t.

It is not easy to see this aspect of myself and it is not easy to take the necessary steps of acknowledging it to God and the person who has been in my “courtroom”. Not easy but necessary and very beneficial. I cannot express how much of a load is lifted from my mind and heart when I speak words such as, “I have judged you and I am wrong. Will you forgive me?” As that took place over the phone last night, forgiveness was forthcoming and the courtroom of my doing was cleared.

Let me add, that for those times when someone really doesn’t care about me or want me around, God’s answer is that I walk in forgiveness. I don’t know their heart. I don’t know what’s behind their actions. At that point, I must choose to forgive and entrust them to God to show them their particular issue. Freedom for me will only come as I stay out of the courtroom of judgment and prison of unforgiveness.

Father, keep showing me the heart issues behind my words, thoughts, and actions. Amen.

Potter's Hand - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdkfXhnqbos&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Saying and Hearing the Right Thing

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29 (New American Standard Bible)

It is easy to look at this verse as a guide for how I communicate to others and I would do well to use it as such. But this morning God is encouraging me to see myself as the hearer of my own words. His desire is that I make sure what I tell myself is edifying and graceful. Lately I have noticed how often that is not the case and God has graciously been showing me why and how to remedy it.

Unedifying and ungracious words are rooted in the view I have of myself. When I fail to see myself separate from my sin and weaknesses my attitude becomes critical and unloving. It is the exact opposite of hating the sin but loving the sinner. I have heard that phrase many times but was at odds with how to make it a reality and apply it to myself.

God used something I had read in a book to help me see that I build my identity on the worst aspects of myself. The things I do become grounds for believing I am a disgusting, unlovable, unwanted, and undesired person. When fully fostered they result in the thinking that if someone were to really know me and really know what I am like on the inside they would have more than enough reason to walk away and they would leave me. So I learned to keep enough hidden that the people I care the most for wouldn’t leave. It is a cycle that God desires to break and I am getting the first taste of freedom.

He used two things to help me see truth. First, an accountability partnership wherein I committed myself to honesty. Over the course of two years, God brought about a question that my accountability partner would ask that forced me to admit what was really going on inside of me. When I had been through a season of dark moods she would ask, “What triggered it?” The answer exposed my heart and when that happened there was an indescribable freedom and peace that followed. It also allowed me to experience a relationship whereby this individual knew the worst parts of me and chose not to walk away. What a reflection of God’s character. The more I saw that, the more I was able to be honest and open.

The second thing God has used is the realization that my sins and weaknesses do not make me a disgusting person. They are to be hated and dealt with but I am to see myself as a beloved, cherished daughter of God. It is wrong to hate what God cherishes. God is letting me know that as I learn to hate my sin but cherish who I am in Christ, I will begin to have the same ability to demonstrate that toward others.

Father, thank you for one who chose not to walk away and for helping me to see the roots of my own condemning thoughts. I am a recipient of Your love and work. Keep showing me my pathway to freedom. Amen.

Who Am I - Casting Crowns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VU_rTX23V7Q

I welcome your questions and comments to any devotional thoughts. I am honored and delighted to share my journey with you and privileged to hear of yours.

Identifying the Weights

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us. Hebrews 12:1 (New King James Version)

What is it that encumbers, hinders, entangles or ensnares you on a daily basis? What is it that has a grip on you even as you want to lay it aside? For each of us it may be a different area or issue and yet we know that we know it is in us. Those closest to us can see the consequences of its presence in our life even if they don’t fully know every detail. It leaves us with deep feelings of failure, discouragement, and disappointment. Most of the time, the proverbial tunnel appears to have no light the end. Failed attempts to walk in victory leave us wondering if deliverance will ever be our experience in this life.

Let me say, if you (like me) have come to believe that freedom is out of reach for you, than you (like me) have bought in to one of the most damaging lies of the enemy. He knows no child of God is beyond the work and grace of God and yet if he can convince us we are an exception then we remain in bondage. I do not want that to be the end of my story!

Here is the catch though. There are times when we are not fully aware of what our exact weights are. I am coming to learn that what I label as emotional may have a physical component. My mood swings and spiraling thoughts may actually be an indication that there is something physically wrong. If I am going to run my life’s race with endurance then I need to know what it is that keeps tripping me up. So I am on a quest. It involves asking lots of questions, talking to many individuals, and taking the necessary medical steps to determine what is going on in my body as well as my mind. As I do, I saturate the steps with prayer that God would lead me to the right people to help me lay aside the unnecessary weights I carry and tunnels in which I find myself. I firmly believe there is not only a light at the end of this tunnel but a whole new way to live my life.

The bookends God has placed around me at this time are the prayers and unconditional love of others. I marvel at the ministry of the body of Christ. There are individuals who not only want to see me walk in freedom but urge me on in my quest to find it. I thank God for them!

Father, I marvel at the way You work. With hope in my heart I anticipate all that is possible in Christ. Amen.

He Knows My Name
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXsiWoyjw60

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Weak but Willing

Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Matthew 26:41 (New American Standard Bible)

I see an acknowledgement being made by Jesus that is speaking volumes to me. The scene is unfolding in the garden of Gethsemane where Jesus is soon to be arrested and eventually crucified. The anticipation of what lay ahead (particularly His Father’s forsaking) was excruciatingly painful. Although accompanied by His disciples, their sleeping left Him humanly alone. Yet He sees and acknowledges their desire even in the midst of their failure to stay awake with Him. Their spirits were willing (eagerly ready) but that willingness was not yet matched by their actions. How I need that reminder in the midst of my own shortcomings and failures.

My desire for God and His ways can often surpass the actual realization in my life. I am resting in the fact that God not only sees the willingness but He is working to develop in me the things I presently lack. This gives me comfort and encouragement in the times when I still attempt to balance looking to people versus looking to God for specific needs in my life. It gives me assurance to know that God will continue to show me what He is really like in order to continue to fix my distorted views and opinions. It spurs me on when the very things I desire to do for Him are presently not possible.

He knows my weaknesses and frailties far better than anyone else and yet He is still in my corner watching each step that I take. He knows when victories will be mine. He knows when what I struggle with will no longer be a struggle. He knows the amount of time it will take to flesh out what my heart and spirit long for and desire. I rejoice that He is God and will move Heaven and Earth to bring about growth, progress, and change that takes me from willingness to experience.

I don’t know how many more lessons lie ahead for me to learn. Today may be a day I turn a huge corner and take yet another step toward obedience and victory. I never know how close I am to personal transformation in any area of my life. But God knows and smiles as I move closer to that moment. I simply must take His hand, tune my ear to hear His voice, and act on what He tells me. Again, it is not about perfection. It is about relationship with Him!

Father, continue the work You began in me. Bless any willingness You see in me and develop me into the one You created me to be. Your ways and Your workings far exceed my own ideas. Thank you for what You will accomplish in me today. Amen.

His Strength is Perfect ~ Steven Curtis Chapman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LC_lld_vUCY

I welcome your questions and comments to any devotional thoughts. I am honored and delighted to share my journey with you and privileged to hear of yours.

Staying Teachable and Focused

As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. Genesis 50:20 (New American Standard Bible)

Sometimes we experience difficulties in our life as a consequence for wrong choices we have made. At other times, we live under what seems to be the results of another person’s actions. Joseph knew the latter all too well. Hated by his brothers, sold into slavery, imprisoned due to a false accusation, forgotten by one who could have helped, and unfair separation from a father who loved him dearly. Many would have understood if he had chosen to embrace unforgiveness, bitterness, and anger. But that response would have put him into a prison of his own making that would have been more harmful and confining than any man made prison. Instead, Joseph’s life was seen by others as one whose God was with him.

Throughout his years of unfair and unjust treatment Joseph was a server of others and God continually blessed him for it. Even in the midst of trials. Even in the midst of wondering if there was a light at the end of the tunnel for him. Even when he could see no tangible manifestation of his dreams ever coming true. His was a journey of coming to points of surrender and trust. Rather than spend his life desiring to one day enact revenge on the ones who hurt him, he poised himself for the day he could demonstrate love and forgiveness.

This tells me Joseph walked through the issues of his life with a teachable spirit which gave him an ability to see God’s involvement in every circumstance he faced. Was it always easy? I doubt it. Would there have been tears, frustration, and questions? I am sure of it! But with each event Joseph had to come to the point of bending the knee and heart to what God had for him and where God placed him. It required him to fix his eyes on God rather than on what was happening to him and the people responsible for those things. It always came down to choice, trust, and surrender.

It is no different for each one of us. Whether we are wading through the issues of our own life or watching a loved one wade through the issues of their life, we are on a journey to the heart of God. Nothing is escaping His notice and nothing is unusable for His purposes. His ultimate desire is that we would really KNOW Him and then point others to Him. It will be the outcome of trusting Him, embracing truth, and keeping our focus on Him. With God’s help, it is both possible and productive.

Father, in the midst of it all, I trust You for myself as well as for my loved ones. Our lives are not limited to only that which we can experience with our five senses. May our spirit eyes be ever fixed on You! Amen.

Knees to the Earth - Watermark
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-FJzjmTbTs

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

God's Recipe to Live By

Who is the man who desires life, and loves many days, that he may see good? Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit. Depart from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. Psalm 34:12-14 (New King James Version)

I love God’s invitations! He perks up our ears with an offer for not only a long life but a good one at that. But like so many of His principles and promises throughout Scripture, there is a condition that must be met. He is offering one thing while listing the requirements for obtaining it.

So what are the conditions upon which God’s promises hang? Watching our words as well as our actions. God knows that the words we speak over our life, our circumstances, and our relationships will have a big effect on each. Words that are evil and deceitful are not only opposite of His character of truth but they are tools for the enemy to use against us and others. In other words, He wants us to not say something that will give the enemy the means and opportunity with which to attack us. The words we speak will either add quality and length to our life or drain us of it.

He also requires a life of exchanges with our actions. Give up the evil ways for what is good and brings peace. Which of these words will define my actions today? I will have numerous opportunities to display one or the other. I must understand myself well enough to know that my flesh will always go for the evil ways while my spirit (my connection with God) will go after what is good and results in peace. Again, my actions will aid me in having an abundant life or hinder me from it.

In myself and through my own efforts I will fail in both these areas. I will speak the words that God cringes at and Satan delights in. I will also act in ways that work against me and others. That is why each morning I must start with a cry for help! David’s prayer can be my own, “Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.” God will let me know throughout the day what should and shouldn’t be exiting my mouth. He will do the same with my actions. Not only will He instruct me along the way but He will empower me to obey Him, yield to Him, and cooperate with Him. He will give me the desire and ability to do the very thing He requires with all the benefits that come with it.

Father, I will not make it without Your help today. Be the Guard of my mouth as well as my actions. I want to defer to You every time. Amen.

Make Me A Servant - Maranatha Singers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rznoe3zKxM

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Taking His Time

I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. Psalm 40:1 (King James Version)

Waiting patiently. Once again I am reminded it means hopeful expectation not resignation! The waiting is on God not on opportunities, change in circumstances, or change in me. Any inner turmoil, frustration, worry, or straining reveals a lack of trust on my part. A trust in God’s will, God’s ways, God’s timing, and God’s character. God’s purposes, plans, and protection in times of waiting are always demonstrated even if I don’t clearly see them or understand them. Many times God has to help me see what is NOT meant in order to understand what IS meant when He requires that I go through a time of waiting.

I can recall two types of waiting that have skewed my thinking in regards to waiting on God. Both took place when I was young. I can remember being with my dad on certain days and inevitably stopping at a bar. More often than not, I was told to ‘sit tight’ while he went in for a drink. It could be a brief or extended time of waiting, but either way I was left alone, unattended, and unaware of when the waiting would end. I can also remember ‘waiting’ by an upstairs window watching for my parents to come home on Friday evenings with groceries. I knew instinctively if they had been drinking the groceries would wait until ‘tomorrow.’ There was a sense of expectant disappointment.

This morning, God is tenderly reminding me that neither of these scenarios are accurate representations of waiting patiently for Him. In the midst of waiting, He is present with me and He is NOT setting me up for a disappointment. He is using this time to prepare me and faithfully arrange the circumstances and people in my life to bring about His eventual purposes. He is attentive, involved, and caring as He operates according to His wisdom and His time. But I will fail to see that if I continue to view Him through a grid of distrust, distortions, and disappointments.

My journey to freedom is filled with moments when God takes me back to the root of distorted thinking. While He will not change the things that happened in my life, He will correct the interpretation of those things. As lies are exposed, He offers truth for me to embrace. He is helping me to take the faces of individuals off Himself and see Him for who He is and what He is really like. It is definitely worth the time He is taking to do it!

Father, thank you that You take the perfect amount of time to work with me and in me. Amen.

In His Time
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo-rGzx2OZk

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.