My Own Husband

Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as (a service) to the Lord. Ephesians 5:22 (Amplified Bible)

When my mom was a young Christian, she attended a Bible study where she was taught a principle. She was told the husband should handle all the finances of the household and it was her duty to give her complete pay check to him. She complied. Here was her situation. She was married to my step father who was an alcoholic. If she needed money she was to ask him for it. What she often endured was humiliation and a sense that she was begging for something. My heart broke. Up until this point there had not been a problem with the way they handled their finances. But after this point she put up with a lot of unnecessary turmoil. What my mom learned later on was that this study leader had her own personal checking account and never had to ask her husband for any money.

What troubled me at the time was that this person had failed to see a very important word in today’s verse. The word “own.” My mother was not complying with a desire of her own husband as much as with a general statement made by another individual. Each of us as wives must see the individuality of our own marriages. Our husbands are unique and our relationship to them is unique as well. What one husband desires of his wife may be completely different from that of another husband.

In July of 1983, my husband married an extravert. It has never been his intention to turn me into an introvert. We have different tastes and very different personalities. He knows my strengths as well as my weaknesses and I know his. We know each other’s insecurities and fears. We have laughed together and cried together. We have buried both sets of parents. We have walked through the issues of rearing three children who are now 17, 18, and 20 years of age. There are many qualities we admire in each other and other areas we accept as part of the “package.” We compliment and complete each other.

There have been many changes and there will continue to be many more changes ahead. But it is my heart’s desire that my changes stem from my relationship with the Lord and are in accord with my OWN husband‘s wishes. May I be careful not to conform to something neither the Lord nor my husband intend for me. May my ears be attuned to the sounds of their voices and may I be discerning with all others.

Father, I am one person. Help me to be the person You created me to be. I am Tim’s wife. Help me to be all You meant for me to be to and for him. May I resist all other molds. Amen.

Answering His Questions

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves. Philippians 2:3 (New American Standard Bible)

During the course of a phone conversation last night I shared a situation with a friend. Something had come up earlier in the evening and I had made plans to speak with some individuals later in the week. As I rehearsed the circumstances with my friend, she listened politely and then asked me a question God had led her to ask. She simply said, “What is it you hope to accomplish?” That question got my attention and has held it ever since. It actually became two questions in one to me. God was now probing my heart and mind with the questions of, “What are your motives and what outcome are you seeking?” As I floundered for a clear answer it became obvious to my friend and myself that this needed to become a matter of prayer BEFORE I met with the individuals later this week. The meeting may or may not take place. I am not sure what God is going to reveal to me in the coming days, but I have absolutely no doubt He will make things crystal clear to me and I would be wise to listen to Him.

As this particular phone conversation played out, God brought to my mind today’s verse. The “let nothing” part is becoming prominent in my thoughts this morning. To me it is serving as a reminder that at NO time and with NO person should I be ruled by self interest or self promotion. God’s instructions are clear, “Walk, talk, and relate to others in humility. Put them and their interests above your own. Lose your sense of superiority, independence, and pride. Choose My way.”

I have Jesus as my Example and the Spirit of God as my Enabler. God’s Word is meant to be applied to my life, not just digested into my brain. I can spend each day reading it and writing devotions on it but if I fail to implement it into my thinking, speaking, and living I am missing out on a big reason God gave me His Word. James 1:22 tells me to be a doer of the Word and not merely a hearer lest I walk in deception. I am to take in the whole counsel of God and allow it shape my entire life. Some of God’s commands come easy for me, but many come up against my flesh. I often go through a time of straining against the truth before bending the knee.

The encouraging part for me is that God does not expect me to do apply any of His Word to my life without His help. He is not looking for self sufficiency or behavior modification but rather submission to and dependency on Himself. It becomes a walk of yielding and brokenness, for He longs to conform and transform me. Today is yet another day to rest upon the potter’s wheel and yield to His touch. That is not always easy but it is definitely worth it!

Father, You have once again brought an area to my attention that You desire to touch and transform. If left on my own I will fight the very things You desire to do. Keep me from doing that! Amen.

Full Attention and Perception

They do not pay attention to the deeds of the LORD, nor do they consider the work of His hands. Isaiah 5:12 (New American Standard Bible)

It is a sad commentary indeed for this verse to be hung over any situation of a believer’s life. It is a statement that should cause each one of us to sit up and take notice. We know and serve a God who is never absent, unavailable, or disinterested. He is in the midst of us, inhabiting our very body. He has promised to work all things out for our good. He is inviting each one of us to pay attention and consider all that He is doing! Whether it is in the physical, spiritual, emotional, social, or mental aspects of our life, God is working and desirous that we are take notice.

If I am in the same room with people I dearly love and respect I will tend to focus my full attention on them. I watch them and listen to them with great interest. I do not want to miss a thing they do or say. THAT is the way I want it to be with my heavenly Father. I want to be enraptured and captivated by His every move. I want Him to systematically remove anything or anyone that would pull my attention away from Him. There can be NO competition for my focus or my heart.

He knows when I am searching for Him and wanting to see His fingerprints throughout each day. He delights in the times when my eyes dance in wonder over seeing Him in action. My spirit eyes want to see and my spirit ears want to hear it all! I don’t want to be sight or hearing impaired in any way.

When things don’t go my way, I don’t want to assume there is no work of God to be seen in it. When the unexpected takes place, I don’t want to miss all the ways God is actively involved. When unwelcome changes knock on the door of my life, I don’t want to loose sight of the fact that He is sovereign and in control.

Each one of use were personally formed by God in our mother’s womb. He has not taken His hands or His eyes off us for one second. From eternity past He has planned out each day and nothing will take Him by surprise. I revel in that! I stand on it, find my security in it, and hold to it come what may. My God is faithful. My God is involved. My God is active. My God is working!

Father, I delight in You. I want to take notice of Your deeds. My eyes are on You and my ears are turned toward You. What awesome sights and sounds await me! Amen.

Uncomfortable but Necessary

He will teach us His ways, and we shall walk in His paths. Isaiah 2:3 (New King James Version)

I have spent the last couple of days pondering my receptivity to truth and whether or not I live with a teachable spirit. For if I have a smorgasbord mentality when it comes to truth (whereby I pick and choose what I want to hear) then I will greatly hinder and limit the work God desires to do in me. I cannot afford to take in only what sounds good and makes me feel comfortable. I must be willing to listen to what convicts me and reveals the issues of my heart.

In the last number of months a friend of mine has been God’s truth teller to me. As we have talked and emailed back and forth, she has said some things and asked some questions that I found myself resisting. I didn’t like the way her words made me feel because they were bringing to the surface the very things I was not comfortable addressing. It wasn’t that she wasn’t speaking the truth, it was that I knew if I took in what she was saying I would eventually have to act upon what I was hearing. With truth comes responsibility and accountability. No blame shifting, no excuse making, no games of denial, or proclamations of not knowing any better. My spirit hungers for it but my flesh fights it.

She and I are both familiar with the scenario that follows such conversations. She speaks the truth. I listen and sense resistance in myself. The conversation draws to a close and I go through a time of mulling over what has been said. It may take a few hours or even a few days, but eventually God walks me through the issues at hand and helps me to see my need to align myself with His truth. When I am finally at the point of acknowledging and accepting the truth He then shows me practical steps of implementing the truth into my life. As I cooperate with Him there are subtle but profound shifts that begin to take place in my internal world. Given enough time, my friend knows an email or phone call is coming that will let her know the issue has been settled and God has given the victory.

Is it easy? Not usually. Most of the growth and progress has come with tears, fears, and struggles. But when it is all said and done, by God’s grace, I choose to walk the path He has for me. I do not always do it right but He honors and blesses the desire to be taught. He understands my frailties and mindsets. While His eye is on me in the present, it is also on the person I will one day be. He knows what I will be when the transformation is complete. It is the same for each one of us. May we continue to listen as He speaks and follow where He leads.

Father, speak to me, even when the words sting. I want change. I embrace truth.
Amen.

An Extension Of Himself

Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety. Proverbs 11:14 (New King James Version)

If I fail to search Scripture and implement it into my daily life, I can so easily take the wrong approach to situations. When life gets messy and failure marks my path, the enemy of my soul is all too anxious to take me to extremes. In order to avoid making the same mistakes, I will build up walls of defense and mistakenly assume I am walking in safety. God has recently revealed to me an area in my life where this was happening and is showing me how to redirect my thinking and my journey.

For a couple years, I sat under a mentor who gave me much wisdom and insight into the Christian life. I feasted off the question and answer times with her. But the day came when it was necessary for this mentor to step away and for me to live independent of her influence. THAT was painful and led to God walking me through a difficult transition time. As I began to see what He was doing in all of it, I came to a wrong conclusion. I felt that in order to avoid future dependency issues and hence more pain, it was time I “made it on my own.” That meant (in my thinking) that all future concerns, questions, and difficulties had to go to God and only God. What I had to come to realize was within God’s system of operation He is the One who has established the vehicle of human agencies. While He is to always be my main Counselor and Guide, He also encourages me to seek the advice, help, and direction of the godly people He has graciously brought into my life. I have a handful of people whom I readily turn to at certain times and I am the richer for it. The people vary according to the situation.

When I have made an important decision, I have a couple women who serve as my witnesses to the vows I am making. Telling them my plan of action solidifies the area of surrender and helps me to stay the course. When I am confronted with areas of turmoil and uncertainty, I have people who will listen and give me the perspectives I need but have been missing. When I am headed in the wrong direction but am not quite sure how to get turned around, I have people who will lovingly but firmly tell me the truth and encourage me to walk in it. And when a time of deep prayer is needed I have several people I can call and one who even affords me the opportunity to come to her home and avail myself of her kneeling bench. The only prerequisite to all of these encounters is that I have first taken the issues to God and sought His heart. Once that has taken place, He is then the One who brings the right people to mind. Within that context, I am safe to seek out counselors for their wisdom, discernment, and instruction. God bless each one!

Father, You have enriched my life with a multitude of counselors. They have listened and then wisely advised. You have gifted me with them as an extension of Yourself. I embrace this aspect of the journey! Praise You! Amen.

The Touch That Changed Everything

And a woman who had a hemorrhage for twelve years, and could not be healed by anyone, came up behind Him and touched the fringe of His cloak, and immediately her hemorrhage stopped. Luke 8:43,44 (New American Standard Bible)

Twelve years of hemorrhaging. Twelve years of enduring medical treatment that left her physically and financially drained. Twelve years of being ceremonially unclean. Twelve years of public shunning. Twelve years of questioning her own worth and value to anyone and everyone. Twelve years of a life on hold and in pain. All of it came to an immediate halt when her hands reached out and touched the hem of Jesus’ garment.

This was no easy task, for Jesus was surrounded by a great crowd of people. Getting close enough to Him to touch the fringe of his clothing would have taken time, persistence, and a great deal of maneuvering. With no exchange of words, she came from behind with one thing on her mind….”If I can but touch the hem of His garment I will be made whole.” What a seed of faith God had planted in this woman! The simplicity and uniqueness of her faith captures my attention in a powerful way. Jesus was aware of her need, her faith, her plan, her anticipation, and finally her touch. How He must have smiled in His Spirit to know what was about to take place in this woman’s life.

What truths do I take in from this miraculous account today? Jesus is approachable. He sees my pain and the magnitude of my situation. He acknowledges my faith whether it is in words or actions. I can still metaphorically reach out my hand in faith and touch the hem of His garment. I am not a lost face in a crowd to Him. My relationship with Him is unique and simplistic but His response to me is powerful.

Many have been the times He instantly dried my tears, anointed me with wisdom for a particular decision, renewed my strength, or settled my heart. Each of us have moments of crises in our lives. Today, Jesus is inviting us to come to Him with whatever is burdening us, hindering us, or draining us. This woman, who is our spiritual ancestor, wants us to know this same Jesus has the power and desire to radically change our lives like He did hers.

Father, I do not call out or reach out to You in vain. With You my story can change in an instant. Jesus, I come. Amen.

Losing My Grip

Naked (without possessions) came I [into this world] from my mother’s womb, and naked (without possessions) shall I depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed (praised and magnified in worship) be the name of the Lord! Job 1:21 (Amplified Bible)

I take loss hard. The more significant something or someone is in my life the harder it is to experience the departure. Whether it be relationships, seasons of life, health issues, jobs, or experiences each must be viewed as a gift from God subject to change and temporary status. If I mistakenly believe otherwise, I am merely setting myself up for disillusionment and disappointment. But if I see God’s involvement in all things, then I can treasure the moments yet hold them loosely. My ability to do that will increase as I become more aware of God’s nature and heart.

If I stand suspect of Him and think He is cruel and out to ruin my life the losses will appear to be “proof” of that very mindset. But if I see Him as a loving, heavenly Father who knows what is best for me and is intent on molding my life for His glory, then I learn to rest in what He is doing and trust Him during the process. It is His desire that I learn to view life through His grid of truth and with spirit eyes. Living each day cognitive of His presence, person, and involvement in my life. My days are not made up of mere random, pointless events. God is working in profound ways and I can so easily miss the realization of that truth if I shift my focus away from Him.

These thoughts were triggered last night as I reviewed the dynamics of changed or lost friendships over the years. Without the awareness that “the Lord gives and the Lord takes away” I can too easily live in a state of grieving as well as torture myself with the question of “What did I do wrong?” Last night, God interrupted my thoughts with some precious instructions and reminders. He whispered to my spirit, “Pam, don’t limit your thoughts concerning the people and events of your life. You must see My hand and involvement in it all. Most of the people in your life and the relationship you have with them is for a season of time and a divine purpose. I am the One who “lends” you the moments. It is not about their change of heart or yours. It is about My timing and My design. Trust Me. Cling to Me. I am your permanent Source and Companion. Enjoy my gifts to you but don’t refuse to let go of them when I initiate the change. Poise yourself to receive the new things that await. Rest in My love.”

Father, I now see what I have been blind to for so many years. You are constantly aware and constantly working on my behalf. May I hold the things of this life loosely while You hold me tightly. Amen.