A Day For Review

And Eli said to Samuel, "Go lie down, and it shall be if He calls you, that you shall say, 'Speak, LORD, for Your servant is listening.'" So Samuel went and lay down in his place. Then the LORD came and stood and called as at other times, "Samuel! Samuel!" And Samuel said, "Speak, for Your servant is listening." 1 Samuel 3:9,10 (New American Standard Bible)

God is still in the business of speaking to us when we poise ourselves to listen to him. I find though that every day is not necessarily a hearing of new things from Him. He knows my tendency to learn a lesson and then quickly want to move on to the next lesson to be learned. This morning He is letting me know this will be a day for review. I sense His insistence that I meditate upon the things He showed me yesterday. He wants the truths to go deeper within me. I can too easily settle for the cognitive aspect of taking in truth. I allow it to get into my mind but He is desirous that I also let it into my spirit. Transformation comes as I allowed the truth to become a part of my daily practice.

Yesterday was a day of “getting” the truth. Today begins the adventure of living out of that truth. What truth? That God is the One in control of my life and is bringing about all necessary changes. He knows that if I don’t fully embrace this aspect of Him, I will succumb to the skewed thinking and dangerous mindsets that can so easily trip me up. So He insists that I continue to rehearse the phrases He gave me as a way of reshaping my outlook on the circumstances of my own life.

Not only did He give me phrases but He also presented me with pictures that still hang on the walls of my mind. I can see them as clearly as the actual pictures that hang on the walls of my home. They are meant to reinforce the very truths He is instilling in me. How precious that He ministers to the visual person He created me to be. He knows exactly what words and images to use in order to help me understand, embrace, and live out of the life changing truth He is teaching me.

I rest in the fact that He is tailoring His instructions for me on an individual and daily basis. Line upon line and precept upon precept continue to be His method of teaching in the school of life. My part is to remain tender and teachable to His voice.

Father, I am touched by Your personal involvement in my life. You know how to get truth across to me. Help me to continue to listen, learn, and grow in the grace and knowledge of Yourself. Amen.

Waste Places

Indeed, the LORD will comfort Zion; He will comfort all her waste places and her wilderness He will make like Eden, And her desert like the garden of the LORD; joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and sound of a melody. Isaiah 51:3 (New American Standard Bible)

There are times when life feels like a waste place, wilderness, and desert. Emotions are flat, a sense of hopelessness envelopes the soul, and one is filled with more questions than answers. It is a place I don’t like to be because it leaves me feeling like the bottom has fallen out and I begin to wonder if I am being thrown back to square one with God. Joy, gladness, thanksgiving, and music simply become the things I long for but seem far removed. Prayers are reduced to short phrases such as “Help me, God” and “Hold me, Father.” Reading the Bible seems lifeless. Attending church leaves you feeling more like an observer than a participant. You feel as though life is passing you by and you have suddenly been put in slow motion mode. Tears fall but you don’t always know why.

In the midst of the bleakness and darkness I have learned to do one thing….invite Jesus to be there with me. With Him I can freely share the confusing thoughts and insecurities. With Him I can be myself without the walls, masks, and false “okay” responses when asked how I am. He gives me permission to be silent when words elude me. He brings verses to mind when the light seems to have gone out on the path I walk. He gives me a song that will play over and over again in my mind as well as on my CD player. He gently reminds me that this too will pass.

When my mom was alive, she battled depression for most of her adult life. I well remember the empty stares and lifeless conversations. There are times I timidly ask God if that is what I am experiencing during the wilderness moments. For now, His answer is “No.” It is not depression but rather reminders that I live in a fallen world and possess a fallen nature. Expectations run high and disappointment runs deep but in the midst of it all He has promised to never leave me or forsake me. He encourages me to continue in the things I have learned and to keep looking to Him for my identity, security, and hiding place. It is a slow process at times but the promises of joy and gladness keep me hopeful.

Some will read these thoughts and see them as dark and foreboding. Others will relate and see themselves profoundly. With the latter ones I extend my hand in fellowship and understanding.

Father, be the Healer and Helper of our souls today. Help us sense Your presence and Your peace at this very moment. Amen.

Who Are We Listening To?

Thus says the king, "Do not let Hezekiah deceive you ....nor let Hezekiah make you trust in the LORD...do not listen to Hezekiah." Isaiah 36:14-16 (New American Standard Bible)

We have to be so careful who we listen to. Everything that is said to us must be filtered through truth. The Assyrian messengers were seeking to chip away at those things which would hinder Israel from giving in to their requests. So much was being questioned and the accusations were arrows which were meant to wound and defeat. They were bringing in to question the worthiness of God's man, God's message, and God's character. Planting seeds of doubt was the same tactic Satan used with Eve. We must know the truth and hold it up against all attacks.

When a person's words line up with Scripture there is a foundation established that allows for truth to be given and received. No one wants to be deceived. It is a heart wrenching experience to wake up one day and realize you trusted the wrong source or stood on the wrong foundation.

It is one thing to be the victim of a financial scam or to purchase something that did not live up to its claim. But the worst case scenario is when the deception wreaks havoc on our view of God and the Christian life. Each of us wants to believe we are being told the truth about God when we hear a sermon, listen to a speaker, or read a book. Beth Moore says, "If the teaching you are sitting under is causing your view of God to get smaller, you are being deceived." So true!!!!

I want to surround myself with people who have a huge view of God. I want their excitement, passion, and love for God and the Scriptures to infect and affect me. For years I knew God could do anything but believed He was unwilling to do most things. I had such an extremely small view of His heart. But now I do two things that grow my view. I ask God to show me the truth about His heart and character in Scripture and I soak up as much teaching as I can that helps to enlarge my view of Him.

The Assyrian messengers had it all wrong. Their words could not survive when placed under the microscope of truth.

Father, let me ever live in the truth about You. Amen.

The One Who Holds Our Hand

The steps of a man are established by the LORD, and He delights in his way. When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, because the LORD is the One who holds his hand. Psalm 37:23-25 (New American Standard Bible)

I love the thought within this verse. It shows human tendencies and Divine intervention! Within the Christian life there are strides of victory as well as times of faltering and falling. Ask any mountain climber to show you his bumps and bruises as he tells of his uphill adventures. I assure you, he has them to show! He will also let you know it is par for the course. There is no way to avoid them all. The same is true for any of us who have a walk of faith in this world. We will have our share of “falling” but the LORD is definitely the One who holds our hand!

When my children were small and learning to walk, they never went completely down if I had a hold of their hand. God wants me to see that picture of Him each day. Holding my hand, standing guard, watching over me. He is attentive to every need that arises and every situation that presents itself. This personal aspect of Him touches me deeply this morning. I drink in the reminder and it quenches the thirst of my spirit!

I sensed His hand holding me yesterday as I waded through thoughts and issues with Him. I took comfort in the fact that He already knew the fears and misgivings that had welled up within me. It became a time of taking Him up on His invitation to talk to Him about the very things that were bothering me. I didn’t have to hold back or hide any details. All the while I talked, I sensed no surprise or condemnation on His part. Honest dialogue with God has got to be part of every day’s experiences. It is part of the climb.

I don’t know about anyone else, but when I have been through a time of candid conversation with God, I come away amazed at the result. It is a time once again whereby He assures me He has a hold of my hand and is not going to let me go completely down. His grip is secure through it all.

So for any who would harbor secret thoughts about God, themselves, or others, find some time today to confide in Him. He will hold your hand and listen with interest. How gracious that the One who knows us so intimately still desires to hear the sound of our voice. May we each walk through this day feeling His hand on us.

Father, keep showing me the aspects of Yourself that I have often missed. Your tenderness and attentiveness astound me. Amen.

Reclaiming Who He Made

Then the LORD God called to the man, and said to him, "Where are you?" Genesis 3:9 (New American Standard Bible)

Where was Adam? Hiding! Denying his actions! Living his life the opposite of how God intended for him to live! I can relate! All of us can at one time or another. God’s heart-probing questions throughout today have uncovered A LOT! Tonight, I sit in stunned amazement at not only what He has shown me but also what He wants me to start doing. I have spent the day trying to discern my own melancholy mood and tonight God has helped me to see the root and reason for it. I’ve been hiding, denying, and living opposite! Let me explain.

I have been trying to deny the person God made me to be while attempting to become the person I thought I was suppose to be. The bottom line? I was miserable. I am a people person! I love people and I enjoy connecting with them. A painful situation last year caused me to think it might be better if I shut this part of myself down and become a little less open to relationships. That was suppose to insure no further pain or disappointment. What it actually did was hinder me from enjoying an aspect of life that God instilled within me to enjoy! It would be like a nature lover deciding to never venture outside again. Or a mountain climber to avoid any more high altitude moments. Or an artist to put up his brushes and paints in order to devote the rest of his life to coal mining. Setting aside what they have a passion for in exchange for something that isn’t really meant for them.

Are there risks involved if I open myself up to relationships again? Absolutely! But I think back to the many precious relationships God has blessed me with and I wouldn’t trade what I gained from them for the world. There are bound to be goodbyes along the way and painful separations. I will have to continue to guard against emotional dependency. But I don’t want to miss the treasure for fear of possible pain. I well remember that for me the most painful separation came out of the most precious interaction. I know that God has many more friendships and relationships ahead as I learn to trust Him for them and see them for the gifts they are.

I am ready to stop denying this God-given part of myself and to start enjoying life again. I am not sure what will come of it but it certainly has to be better than what I have been experiencing for the last number of months!

Father, I feel alive again as I open myself up to all that You have in store for me. Thank you for who You created me to be! Amen.

When There is None to Help

Be not far from me, for trouble is near; for there is none to help. Psalm 22:11 (New American Standard Bible)

For any who have looked in places or to sources other than God, these words will eventually be their own. There are so many verses in the Psalms in which David is expressing the thoughts of my own heart. His cries for deliverance and help, his hunger for God, his feelings of loneliness and distress, his fears and insecurities, and his realization that God is his refuge and strength. Often are the times I relate with him!

People can do a lot of things for me. They can cheer me up, encourage me, walk with me through issues, comfort me, pray for me, advise me, draw my attention back toward God, and just be there for me. But I am coming to realize what they cannot do is deliver me from the troubles of life or the turmoils of my internal world.

There are 367 verses in the Old Testament alone that speak of deliverance. Most refer to deliverance from troubles, enemies, sin, or weaknesses. In those cases, it is God who is doing the delivering or being asked to do the delivering. For they saw what we need to see….God is the only true Helper and Deliverer! Thinking we can do it ourselves or that we can find someone to do it for us will eventually lead to disappointment and discouragement.

That use to bother me but any more it becomes a life lesson to me because it brings me back to the truth that God is the One I need. David said it this way many times, “You, O Lord, are my Rock, my Fortress, my Deliverer, my Strength, my Helper, my Healer, my Redeemer, my Hiding Place, my Shelter, my Restorer, my Protector, my Counselor, my Guide, my Instructor, my Stronghold, my Defense, my God…..my All in all!” Within any situation or circumstance, that list needs to become my personal mantra. No one else’s name can or should be slipped into it! No one!

Once this becomes settled in my heart and mind, it will be easier for me to see the place people ARE suppose have. It will no longer be a “balancing act” for me to see when I should seek out the help and advice of others. For now, that still is not clear and I am looking to God teach me the truth. He alone knows what hinders and blocks me from being free in this area.

Father, David knew how to cry out to You for EVERYTHING! I want to live my life like that. Teach me and change me! Amen.

Watching, Waiting, and Being Heard

Therefore, I will look unto the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me. Micah 7:7 (King James Version)

My actions follow decisions I make in my mind. It is interesting how many phrases are found in scripture that begin with "I will." I will bless the Lord at all times. I will lift up mine eyes to the hills. To name just a couple.

In Micah 7:7 I see two "I wills" and one "God will." Micah had a predetermined plan for when the difficulties of life arose. Problems are inevitable in this life. We cannot escape pain, suffering, loss, or disappointment. Sorrows cannot always be avoided but we can choose ahead of time what our course of action and attitude will be when the storms of life do come crashing in on us.

First, we can look to God. Watch expectantly as the New American Standard Bible says. Look to Him for direction, provision, protection, security, encouragement, counsel, empowerment, intervention, and rest. He can give us the pioneer spirit to continue on in the adventures and valleys of life.

Then we can wait on Him. Scripture says, "They that wait on the Lord, shall renew their strength." The children of Israel fastened their eyes on the pillar of fire by night and pillar of cloud by day. They waited for movement in the sky before moving forward on the earth. Waiting on God is not wasted time or blind faith. It is wisely aligning myself with God's timetable and plan. The waiting time is productive when spent drawing close to Him, recounting His faithfulness in the past, praying without ceasing, and standing on the truths learned so far. As I wait on God I can rest assured He is either preparing me or preparing others for what lies ahead.

The most assuring words in this verse are the promise that my God will hear me. He not only hears my words but He understands my thoughts and motives as well. I find that His desire is for me to be honest with Him. Fears, doubts, discouragement, and confusion always super-size themselves when buried in the deep places of my heart. They tend to dissipate as I voice them out loud to God either verbally or in written form.

Waiting does not mean inactivity. It simply means to continue at the task at hand until He opens the way for movement forward. That is why I am so encouraged by my Bible ancestors and the precious examples they left for me to follow.

Father, how comforting to know that my words to You never fall on deaf hears, inattention, bored looks, or sighs of exasperation. Amen.