He Understands Me

Great is our Lord and abundant in strength; His understanding is infinite. Psalm 147:5 (New American Standard Bible)

There are times when I read a portion of Scripture and all of a sudden something will stand out that I never saw before. Psalm 147 gives an eloquent portrayal of God’s strength and knowledge but today it became personal for me. God, who is all knowing, helped me to see that He understands me thoroughly. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve known that He knows me….He even knows the number of hairs on my head. He knows my past and my future. He knows my likes and dislikes. He knows my strengths and weaknesses. He knows my failures and successes. I know all that but today I was drawn toward the fact that He not only knows me and knows all about me, but he UNDERSTANDS me! He understands why I do the things I do and why I feel the way I feel. He understands my thought patterns and mind sets. He understands what is good for me and what is harmful to me. Considering I don’t always understand myself and the people in my life don’t completely understand me, this truth is huge for me!

One of the things I like about God is that He is willing to show me how much He understands me. Let me illustrate. Recently I have wondered why I often hesitate to admit to those closest to me when I am struggling in some way. People may ask me if I am okay or if something is wrong and I will give a shallow answer in hopes of diverting their attention. Even the few who are willing to listen find that I am more apt to share things with them AFTER the struggle is over. While I knew some reasons for this, God helped me to see something I was missing.

My make-up is such that if I begin to share my problems with people I will find myself needing to talk to them about EVERY problem. Those who help me climb out of the pits I find myself in will eventually become the “saviors” I am looking for. They will easily become my comforters, counselors, and guides in place of God. That is idolatry and I am so prone to it. It is that understanding of me that God has! Therefore, He has given me a built in guard rail that sees some wisdom and safety in choosing to share the difficulties with others AFTER He has helped me walk through them. While there will still be times I confide to a few when the battle is raging, I hope it becomes the exception and not the rule. I will be the first admit I don’t know if this but self protection or a true step toward freedom. So I will once again look to my Father for the answer, because He really does understand me.

Father, I rest in Your understanding of me. I trust You to show me if I am mistaken in this area. I long for the balance between You and the precious people You continue to bring across my path. Help me to walk by faith in You and Your ways. Amen.

He Knows My Name by Maranatha Singers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXsiWoyjw60

What If?

When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul. Psalm 94:19 (New American Standard Bible)

Anxious, disquieting, worrying, disturbing, alarming, unsettling, troubling, distressing thoughts. How easily they can multiply within us. How we long for freedom but find ourselves giving in to the mental mazes. It seems that for a while all is well and the battle becomes quiet. Then out of “no where” the thoughts begin to creep in and that familiar feeling of dread takes hold.

When it happened earlier this evening God asked me a question in my spirit that I have not been able to avoid, escape, or dismiss. The question was this, “What if you handled this differently than you are accustomed to handling it and you ruled your emotions and thoughts instead of allowing them to rule you?” In other words, what if I took the thoughts captive instead of letting them take me captive? Not only did the question take me by surprise but I found myself realizing I actually had a choice in the matter. I also realized the outcomes I am use to experiencing do not have to be the status quo from this point forward.

I know myself and I know the patterns I tend to follow. I can attest to the fact that the mind road I so easily travel does not work well or in my favor. God is letting me know it doesn’t have to continue to be like that. Instead, I can reject the urge to wallow in the muck and mire of my psyche. I do not have to yield to the temptation to get down, feel sorry for myself, house suspicions against people, allow my thoughts to run rampant, or allow them to lead me into a pit of any size or depth. My thoughts are only as predominant and powerful as I make them. At my choosing, they can be weakened and made ineffective. What I do not dwell on will not have a home in me!

So yes! What if I become more discerning about my thoughts? What if I stopped the cycle that has been played out far too many times? What if I acted and reacted differently? None of this comes naturally for me but God is assuring me it can become a way of life for me. The result would be freedom and joy….of that I am confident. It would also mean delight for my soul. And so I am asking myself, “What if I just did it?” He will help…I know He will.

I know too that even though the choice is mine, the ability and power comes from God. He is the One who says I am being transformed by the renewing of my mind but even that comes from Him, for He is working in me that which He is willing to do with me.

Father, keep showing me how to live victorious in You. Amen.

I Love You Lord - The Acappella Company
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6QE2k1FepQ&feature=related

His Promise

For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Isaiah 41:13 (New International Version)

All it took was attending an event this past weekend where the speakers spoke of their special mentoring relationship and the longing in me was reawakened. I have known the preciousness of someone coming along side me and saying, “I am here for you. I will help you. I will watch over you.” I have known the sense of being nurtured and cared for by a significant person. Not a day goes by that my mind doesn’t think back to such a time and that I don’t still feel the ache of loss.

So yesterday when I came across this verse I was moved by God’s words as well as His promise. He knew what I needed to hear all over again. The Lord God has a hold of my hand and has continued to be my help. He will never step away…not even for a brief moment. He will never be distracted or disinterested. He will never grow tired of me. He will never be occupied with other things. From Him I will never experience a deaf ear, abandonment, rejection, or withdrawal. My problems are not too small to mention or too large for Him to handle. His heart will never change toward me and that affords me the freedom to confide in Him at all times.

I am embracing His words to me and I am offering them to individuals I know who are going through some difficult times at the present. One friend continues her battle with MS, another grieves the deaf of a niece due to an accidental drug over dose, another sits in a hospital room with a husband who is still unstable after an operation to remove his kidney, another is walking through the ordeal of her elderly mother being given a pace maker today, another walks through the dark valley with her daughter whose marriage has crumbled, a number of friends have experienced the death of parents or a spouse, the list is endless. To each I would extend God’s words from Isaiah 41:13. He holds their hands as well as their hearts. He will help them through these days. He alone can comfort them in ways that no other person can begin to comfort. He is there long after the phone calls, visits, and companionship subsides. I try to picture each one with Jesus sitting next to them…holding and upholding them. They are not alone….not for one moment. Life is hard but Jesus is faithfully present with each of us.

Father, I have needed the assurance for myself as well as for my friends. Thank you for the mercy, grace, and strength with which you anoint each of us. We need You and we love You! Amen.

Draw Me Close To You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALzCQn8LA4M&feature=related

Acknowledging and Asking

My soul weeps because of grief; Strengthen me according to Your word. Remove the false way from me, and graciously grant me Your law. Psalm 119:28-29 (New American Standard Bible)

Acknowledging to God how I am feeling and what I am thinking, and asking Him for the what I really need have become essential elements of my journey. David is my example of how that is done and I am grateful for his precious instructions. There was a time not too many years ago when admitting the truth to God was difficult for me because of my wrong concept of God. I had the idea that His goal was for me to always be in a good mood. So I did a lot of pretending. Not any more! When sadness marks my day, I tell Him. When feelings of loneliness engulf me, I let Him know. When I am filled with regret, I confide in Him. When fear wraps itself around me, I express it to Him. When negative thinking becomes my mental diet, I admit it to Him. For I have learned those are the first steps toward release. Then it is time to ask Him for what I need. I look to Him to strengthen me with His Word and to remove the false ways in me. I marvel at His ability!

What are the false ways? All that is not of Him or meant for me. The strongholds and addictions, lies I am believing, distorted perceptions of people and situations, coping mechanisms, relational masking, bents toward idolatry, and any other way I have attempted to get needs met apart from Him. He exposes each one so that I will see what needs to be removed and then He faithfully works to remove it. Are they gone completely? Not yet but I sense the loosening of their grip. I sense a desire for change and He honors that!

A friend once told me that I have spent my life looking for ways to get needs met that were unmet in my childhood. I haven’t forgotten her words and I see the truth of what she said in multiple ways. God knows I must see what it is I am doing before I can look to Him to change me. This was scary and uncomfortable at first but over time I have learned I can trust Him to do what Hebrews 13:21 says. To equip me in every good thing to do His will, working in me that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ. I can trust Him to bring in to and take out of my life that which is necessary for my spiritual growth. Those things that I once thought would do me in have become His greatest sculpturing tools.

Father, help me to keep acknowledging the truth to You and asking for Your help. Thank you for being my Potter. Continue to mold me into Your masterpiece. Amen.

WARRIOR IS A CHILD/ DO I TRUST YOU? ~ Twila Paris
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Pzu-jWpcdw

What I am Now

For in Him all the fullness of Deity dwells in bodily form, and in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority. Colossians 2:9,10 (New American Standard Bible)

I have seen the lists before. I am referring to the lists of all that I am in Christ. The problem was that I often read them as a wish list rather than acknowledging them as truth and proceeding to live out of that truth. I didn’t realize the significance of seeing myself in light of that truth. Instead, I focused on all the things I was in the flesh. My weaknesses, failures, and shortcomings were the very things from which I drew my identity. They were constantly on my mind and in my face.

That was the case last night as I lay in bed and was reduced to tears. My final thought before drifting off to sleep was how much I needed God’s help in every area of my life. I so often turn to people and books for answers, but last night I turned to my Father. He saw the tears and heard the cry of my heart. This morning the answers are coming.

In reading through Psalm 119, I was drawn to David’s references of meditating on God’s Word, works, and ways. God’s point to me was that I must purposefully and wisely choose to dwell on the truth rather than on lies, distortions, and wrong perceptions. Think on the right things and today’s passage started the ball rolling for me.

Right now (not some day) I am complete in Christ! I not only have all I need in Him, I am all in Him. Those lists I referenced at the start of this devotional are now filling my mind as I finally view myself as forgiven, loved, chosen, cherished, accepted, cared for, watched over, held, protected, established, settled, blessed, precious, delighted in, sung over, and His daughter! Those are the things I must chose to meditate upon through out today and into the night. They must be constantly on my mind and in my face. They are the banners that are meant to dance across the full realm of my imagination.

Do they eliminate the things I still am in my flesh? No. But they far exceed them and it is to my benefit to let them be predominant in my thinking. When that is the case, I am practicing the truths God has been showing me over the past few years. It has been good to take in the truth but God now invites me to live out of those truths and see Him transform me in profound ways.

Father, I finally get it! Thank you for repeating Yourself in numerous ways until I grasped what You were saying. Amen.


Who am I - Casting Crowns
http://youtube.com/watch?v=VU_rTX23V7Q

His Invitation

You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3 (New King James Version)

I cannot always explain it but I can definitely tell when it comes upon me. That uneasy feeling that something is wrong. A list begins to formulate in my mind and before I know it I house thoughts of failure, condemnation, shame and a sense that I am not doing anything right. I am not doing enough. No matter where I look (be it in my prayer life, Bible reading, family life, relationships, or daily responsibilities) I draw the conclusion that I am letting myself, others, and even God down. Then, like a child who is handed a huge ball of yarn and expected to untangle it, I stand bewildered with no idea of where to start or what to do. It is the sense of knowing something is wrong but not knowing how to begin to fix it.

At times like this I know two things: the enemy is at work and my Father is inviting me to once again rest in Him. Those thoughts that lead to condemnation, self loathing, failure, and disgust are Satan’s calling cards. He wants nothing more than to see me wrap myself in the mental images he presents to me. God, on the other hand, lets me know peace comes through fixing my eyes on Him and trusting Him. He is bringing to mind the truths of hiding in Him, being sheltered by Him, resting in Him, relying upon Him, and abiding under the shadow of His wings.

This morning, God is inviting me to do some reviewing of basic, necessary truths. He loves me with an everlasting love. He lavishes me with forgiveness and acceptance as seen in the father of the prodigal son. He sings over me. He nurtures me just like a doting mother and father would do. He supplies all of my needs and delights in doing so. He is for me. He is not angry with me, merely tolerating me, or disappointed in me. He is not comparing me to His other children. He delights in being my Father and in me being His child.

He knows the thoughts that have been playing in my mind and He longs to set me free from them. The answer is not to just do better. The answer is to draw near to Him and allow Him to reassure me of His heart for me. The result will be peace, joy, and satisfaction. None of which can be manufactured on my own or apart from Him. They are His gifts of relationship and are found only in Him. He is saying, “Come aside with Me for a while. You need to once again allow Me to nurture and strengthen you. You need to once again see My perspective of you and your life. I am here. Come to Me.”

Father, I need the reminders of You this morning. Settle my heart and redirect my thoughts until Your perfect peace over takes me. Amen.

The Voice of Hope - Lara Martin
http://youtube.com/watch?v=qbk1TGe5k0Q

A Different Response

You know my reproach and my shame and my dishonor; all my adversaries are before You. Psalm 69:19 (New American Standard Bible)

Many carry feelings of shame over past sins if they have not fully embraced God’s love, acceptance and forgiveness for them. Along with the shame is the fear that if people knew what was in their past and present, respect would be lost and abandonment would be forthcoming. The mere thought of exposure fills them with indescribable terror.

I have a few mental images of people who felt the shame of being found out. Adam and Eve grasping for leaves and self imposed hiding. The woman caught in adultery and thrown at the feet of Jesus. Jim Baker being arrested and taken away in handcuffs. Countless people whose past caught up with them and the very thing they tried to keep hidden from those whom they loved the most being exposed. Webster’s dictionary says shame is “a painful feeling of having lost the respect of others because of improper conduct or incompetence.” Each of us carries the deep need to be loved, accepted, affirmed, and included. Shame tells us that not only do we not deserve those things but what little we have found will be taken from us.

The worst kind of shame is public humiliation. A one on one scenario does not begin to compare with standing before a jeering crowd who wear scorn and disapproval on their faces and tones of disgust in their voices. It is shame that makes us want to hide, play pretend, and go to any lengths to keep our secrets a secret. How many people do you know who would remain supportive of you and loving toward you if they knew the contents of your “closet?” I have often said that the true test of love is not what people think of us when they know the best about us but rather when they know the worst.

The One who knows me best and has the most reason to reject me is the One who loves me most and fully accepts me….God! His response to me is tenderness, gentleness, and open arms when I dare to admit what He already knows about me. He is the One who wipes the dirt from my face, dries the tears in my eyes, brushes the hair off my brow, wraps His arms around me and walks me out of the room in which I was hiding. It has taken me a long time to realize the truth about God and His radical love.

Father, You not only know the feelings and conditions of my shame but the causes as well. With You there is gracious acceptance. Thank You!

Before the Throne of God Above
http://youtube.com/watch?v=f0S5Z0H4SpI