What to do With the Jealousy

When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, "Give me children, or I'll die!" Genesis 30:1 (New International Version)

It comes as no surprise to me that jealousy ruled in the heart of Rachel. When it came time for her to marry Jacob, her sister was given to him in her place. Rachel became the ‘second’ wife. Although she had Jacob’s love, her sister bore the children and she was jealous of her. That jealousy robbed her of the realization of the things she did have and brought about a fierce competition of rivalry, bitterness, and manipulation. It would be all well and good if I could read this account in the Bible and not be able to relate with the jealousy aspect…but that is not the case. I relate with it all too well!

Jealousy is that inner rage that simmers when others have something I want or appear to threaten what I already have. It reveals my insecurities and makes another person my rival. It tells me I am not as loved or of as much value as them. If not admitted, confessed, and conquered it will lead me to behavior that is neither good or godly. In Rachel’s case it was her sister’s ability to bear children while she struggled with infertility. In my case, it is a host of things. When someone has a friend I long to have for myself or is given an opportunity I had hoped for or succeeds in an area I fail at or receives attention I am craving or possesses qualities and talents I can only dream about, the jealousy of my heart awakens. I have no trouble knowing when it hits! If I am not careful, pride and shame will keep me from taking the necessary steps to stop its progression.

For too many years, jealousy opened the door for me to act out in coldness and silent anger toward whoever had what I lacked or desired. Would I admit it? Absolutely not! Not to myself, God, or anyone else. The truth of the matter is that what I refuse to admit WILL keep me in bondage and jealousy has been one such jailer!

When that green-eyed monster attempts to pull me into its all too familiar dungeon I now know what to do! I see my jealousy as the problem rather than others as the problem. I admit it to God and begin reviewing truth about myself and others. I view them as God’s children with wants and needs of their own. I see them as precious in God’s sight. I see myself as secure in my relationship with Him and safe in my own skin. I embrace the truth that others really aren’t my reviles and there is no need to be in competition with them. What others have does not change who I am in Christ. Does it work? Yes! And it will work each and every time I repeat the necessary steps to freedom.

Father, I delight in the fact that life can be lived differently for me than I have lived it in the past. Each experience with jealousy can be worked through with a confidence of victory through You. Amen.

Still - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mgob5afanUg&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

God's Method and Freedom of Speech

Then the LORD came and stood and called as at other times, "Samuel! Samuel!" And Samuel said, "Speak, for Your servant is listening." 1 Samuel 3:10 (New American Standard Bible)

There are times when God works to show us what box we are putting Him in. For me, that box has entailed assuming God would, could, and should be speaking to me in certain ways, at certain times, and in certain places. Usually my ideas come from how I saw Him speak to people in Bible times or how I see Him speak to others in the here and now. I often have the idea that what is true for others in their relationship with God needs to be true for me as well. So I find myself trying to set the stage for such communication to take place. A trip a year ago was no exception.

My plan was to take my daughter to Cumberland Gap, Tennessee, and then get alone with God for a couple days with the desire that He would speak to me personally about a variety of issues in my life. I wanted it to be my “Samuel” moment. I thought I needed to set aside books and music and just have it be us. That is not what happened. Instead, God used a four hour conversation with my daughter, a phrase in a book, a phone conversation with a friend, and individual songs to give me some insights I needed to grasp. Each time truth got in I knew without a doubt that He was speaking directly to me. I came away from that time profoundly refreshed in spirit. How tragic it would have been had I insisted He do it MY way!

I learned to look at two areas of my life differently because of what He chose to show me that weekend. His communication with me will often entail external sources and means. My walk with Him will often include relationships that He brings into my life. As I embraced those truths and delighted in it being that way I found myself more content and at peace.

What am I trying to say? God knows each of our make up. He created us and wired us a certain way. He knows how we operate best and what our legitimate and intimate needs are. We don’t get very far when we look for Him to work differently with us than how He chooses to work. We are the richer for it when we revel in His ways with us and His knowledge of us.

Father, I relinquish my ideas of how things ought to be. You know best. You do what is best. I trust Your heart and Your ways. Amen.

No Eye Has Seen - Paul Baloche
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7HN-6Z43Ik&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

An Inexhaustible Supply

But You, O Lord, are a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering and abundant in mercy and truth. Psalm 86:15 (New King James Version)

God will many times use the physical world to teach me spiritual truths which include aspects of Himself. This morning, His visual aid to me is our little dog, Chloe. We purchased her from a Humane Society in Tennessee about a year ago and have come to appreciate her as a valued member of our family. We have seen her over come timidity in many areas and celebrated her progress of over coming more as time went on. When confronted with her timid moments we responded with compassion and patience rather than anger or disgust. We understood she had a history we knew nothing of and we took that into account when her weaknesses surfaced.

This morning as I remembered progress made, God reminded me of my gracious attitude toward Chloe before and after she over came fears and intimidations. Instantly, He urged me to see Him as having the same demeanor toward me before and after I have over come an area in my life. He desires for me to lose the view of Him that He thinks the worst of me in my weaknesses. That His patience will run out long before I stand in victory. That I have somehow exhausted His supply of longsuffering and mercy. The untruth of such thinking is one of the reasons He included the words “full” and “abundant” in today’s verse. He carries more than enough of His character and attributes into His relationship with me.

He knows my history and every reason behind every weakness. He knows where I still need growth and development. He knows that my perspective of others and myself can still throw me for a loop. He knows I often feel I am not doing things right or moving fast enough on this journey. He knows that I have mixed feelings about the people in my life and still struggle to find the balance between looking to Him and looking to others for the meeting of needs. Yet, His knowledge of me does not diminish His compassion, graciousness, longsuffering, mercy, or truth. It might diminish those qualities in others but not in Him.

For those of us who have lived our lives with skewed thinking, wrong perceptions, and distorted views, this is a truth that must be received and reviewed on a daily basis. It will not stick after just one time of seeing it. I am in need of hearing it today and I will be in need of hearing it again tomorrow and for each tomorrow after that until I know that I know that I know I finally have it!

Father, You keep showing me the truths that I am desperate to grasp. I need the reminders and I need You. Amen.

By Grace Alone
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6lhilgWXIE

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Review That Builds Confidence

But the people thirsted there for water; and they grumbled against Moses and said, "Why, now, have you brought us up from Egypt, to kill us and our children and our livestock with thirst?" Exodus 17:3 (New American Standard Bible)

The children of Israel faced a very real dilemma. They were in a desert area and had no water. Our bodies need water to live. When thirst sat in it was accompanied by fear. The fear brought about a wrong conclusion in their mind. To them, no water meant eventual death. Even though they had witnessed God’s deliverance for them out of Egypt, received manna from Heaven each morning, and already experienced God’s provision of water at Marah, their present situation over shadowed it all. At a time when they should have recalled God’s power and provision of the past, they went into panic mode.

Can you relate? I certainly can! We have no trouble trusting God when all is well and supply is at hand. But what happens when we are confronted with the impossible? A change in job? An empty bank account? Broken-beyond-repair relationships? An inoperable diagnosis? Or any number of untreatable, unchangeable, unfixable scenarios? When no relief is in sight and no help seems to be on the way? If we are not careful, the same fear that hovered over Israel can soon be hovering over us. With that fear can come the thoughts of being forgotten, ignored, or abandoned by God. We would never say it out loud but we can struggle with the deep down belief or feeling that although He sees our plight He is unmoved or unconcerned about it.

Know this, if you are in that place right now, God wants to assure you nothing is further from the truth. It is imperative that you find verses to hold on to such as I will never leave you or forsake you, I will meet all your needs, I will work all things out for good, nothing is too hard for Me. It is crucial that you review times in the past when God brought you through or supplied needs in amazing ways. It is vital that you voice the truths of Who God is and what God can do before, during, and after you voice the concerns and fears. God knows your situation. He knows you intimately. He has a plan and purpose for you. He never fails!

The children of Israel floundered each time a test came their way because they kept seeing the situation or need as being greater than the One who could help them. They forgot the very truths that could have helped them to walk in confidence in the face of seeming hopelessness. They serve as our examples of what life will be like for us if we repeat their words, thoughts, and actions. Remember, we are not called to understand all that God does or doesn’t do but rather to trust Him in the process.

I want to spend today reviewing with God the many, many things He has done in the past for me, to me, and through me. I want that review to be a part of my next time of testing.

Father, I have experienced Your work, presence, and power in the past. I praise You for the history You and I share. May my life be marked by confidence in You! Amen.

Indescribable - Chris Tomlin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qF9aY49oQTs&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Not a One Time Event

But as for me, I shall sing of Your strength; Yes, I shall joyfully sing of Your lovingkindness in the morning, for You have been my stronghold and a refuge in the day of my distress. Psalm 59:16 (New American Standard Bible)

Nineteen verses in the book of Psalms express David’s plea to God in times of distress. He learned the right thing to do when he was in trouble or turmoil…..cry out to God. He proclaimed Who God was, what his problem was, and what He wanted God to do for him in that place. He also sang songs about God’s heart, kindness, and presence. I don’t know how long it took for David to experience his deliverance in these times but I know this, he continually did what was necessary while waiting for that deliverance. Whether it was trouble from without or turmoil from within he knew that his source, security, and strength would only be found in God.

I have often made the mistake of thinking that once a lesson is learned I am good to go and will not face the difficulty again. Be it a sinful habit, a dependency issue, an addiction, or a hurt I somehow want to believe there is a puzzle piece and once I find it I will be free from continued struggles in those areas. I am now learning how far from the truth that kind of thinking is! It simply sets me up for disillusionment and discouragement. Life’s lessons are NOT learned so that I will be free from repeating the same scenarios but rather they are learned so that I know what to do when I once again face those scenarios.

So what is it I know to do? Acknowledge what is happening in and around me and how it is affecting me. Look to God for needed grace, strength, wisdom, and direction. Take His commands and advice to heart and act upon the truths He is showing me either in His Word or through individuals He brings across my path. Unlike salvation which is a one time event in my life, growth and sanctification are ongoing processes.

In the past number of months, I have had reoccurring bouts of a sinus infection…this week being the most recent. Seeing my doctor, taking my medicine, and catching up on my sleep are the repeated steps I take. They don’t guarantee a permanent solution but rather a necessary step for now. The same is true of my repeated bouts with issues at hand. Each time the need arises I must repeat the steps He has previously shown me. It does not mean I didn’t learn the lessons the first time. It means as a person I will spend the rest of my life looking to God, seeking God, asking God for help, and finding deliverance for that moment. If David and others in the Bible had to continually go to God for help, who am I to think I must not do the same?

Father, as the opportunities arise help me to do the right thing and look to You. May I not hesitate to cry and sing out to You! Amen.

Sing for Joy - Don Moen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBs2V4_61AQ

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

What He Whispers In My Ear

What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. Matthew 10:27 (New International Version)

It is my privilege and delight each morning to carry out the words of this verse. God has been gentle and persistent in leading me in the writing of devotionals. It began several years ago with a simple prayer of “Show me Your heart in Scripture.” It was my cry to Him to remove the obstacles that prevented me from feasting on His Word and walking away knowing I had received a meal intended for me that day! What were those obstacles? Struggling to see the positive verses as being meant for me and failing to see that what He spoke thousands of years ago was intended for me as well. When those two obstacles were removed, the living Word came alive to me! It began to change the way I viewed God and His involvement in my life. It helped me see that each time I opened His Word there was something specific He wanted to tell me at that moment. But His desire went beyond my personal intake. He wanted to whisper things to me that I would in turn proclaim to others.

It started when I simply took a notebook and began writing out just a paragraph of what He had shown me that morning. Months later as the entries grew in length, He nudged me to put them on the computer. A short time later He nudged me to start sending them to friends as email devotionals. At that time I would write them out by hand, copy them onto the computer, and send them. Months later I detected themes I wish I had followed. That is when God let me know I was no longer to write them out first. When I saw the verse that was meant for me, I was to simply go to the computer and write what He brought to mind. I cannot tell you the number of times He has changed the whole direction of my thinking by the time I send the email. Eventually I saw what He was doing. The devotionals were not meant to simply let others know what God was showing me. They were meant to let others see what God was showing them! God has assured me someone out there needs to hear the same thing I have heard. It becomes an anointed time at both the sending and receiving end of the email.

For any who say in the privacy of their own thoughts, “I get nothing out of Scripture when I read it. It is more duty than delight for me to read it. I have no consistent time in His Word,” I assure you I have been there! For decades! And I attest to the fact it does not have to be that way. Dare to get honest with God. Tell Him the very thoughts you harbor and ask Him to open your eyes to Himself in His Word. Ask Him to bring His Word to life for you! He has things to tell you and things to whisper in your ear. When that happens you will be amazed at what you end up sharing with others.

Father, Your whispers to me are too good not to share! I treasure what You tell me and I delight to pass it on! Amen.

Ancient Words - Michael W. Smith
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UNPxkJU5IA

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Seeing Where I Am At

Then the LORD God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?” Genesis 3:9 (New King James Version)

The almighty, omniscient God does not ask us questions in order for Him to understand or learn something new. He already knows everything about us from the number of hairs on our head to the deepest secrets of our heart. He knows our past, present, and future. He knows our strengths and our weaknesses. He knows what lies behind our laughter as well as our tears. He knows our insecurities, fears, and apprehensions. He knows our wounds and how we acquired each one of them. He knows our longings and our resignations. And as in the case of Adam, He knows if, when, where, and why we are hiding. It is not for His benefit but ours that He asks questions. He knows that when we see the answer for ourselves it will be a turning point for us.

Several years ago, I looked in the mirror and asked myself and God, “Who am I, who are You, and who are we together?” My world had caved in and I needed to see who I was rather than who I wanted to be. Presently I am asking “where” rather than “why.” Where am I at emotionally, physically, socially, and spiritually? I know where I want to be in each of those areas (perfectionism at its peak) but reality reminds me that I am not there (hence, disappointment). Each time I am aware of my imperfections I cringe, self condemn, and cower. God wants more than that for me.

He wants me to realize I am safe to bring the truth of where I am to Him, because until I do, there will be no change. Seeing where I am broken, empty, and hurting is the first step in wholeness, filling, and healing. Unless I see and acknowledge the truth to God, I will have no idea where I need His redemptive touch in my life. He knows my plight better than I do and loves me as and where I am, but has no intention on leaving me in this state. Even though I live in a fallen world and possess a sin nature, He knows that things can be better than they are….not perfect but improved!

So where do I start? I ask God to reveal the truth about myself to me. As the truth is seen, I write it out (on paper or my computer). The experience of seeing it in print is powerful. Once it is written, I read it out loud to Him and only Him, asking Him for what I need….grace, forgiveness, healing, restoration, and renewal. I ask Him to begin to rebuild my life one acknowledgment of truth at a time. He is ready and I am finally willing!

Father, You see it all. Clarify the truth to me and continue the process of conforming me into the image of Christ. Make me comfortable in coming to You. Amen.

He Knows My Name - Maranatha Singers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXsiWoyjw60&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.