Believing the Lies

Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me and know my thoughts. And see if there be any wicked way in me. Psalm 139:23, 24 (King James Version)

This morning I am looking at this verse in a different way. I use to think of God as a condemning, harsh judge who enjoyed nothing more than to pick my life apart, lay the ugly truth before me, and sharply tell me to start measuring up! With a view like THAT why would I ever feel like inviting Him to search me and know me? Activity was my way of trying to distract God from seeing the flaws or at least from me seeing them. I had somehow bought into the lie that God only sees my sin. The thought of God delighting in me, cherishing me, or loving me unconditionally was foreign to me.

But this morning as this verse came to mind I realized that God's searching is not to find out hidden things for Himself. He already knows every part of my life....inside and out. His searching is to reveal aspects of my life to myself. Sometimes that involves revealing sin to me. But many times it is also to reveal where I have been hurt, where I am still broken and bleeding, where I need to replace all the lies about God and myself with the truth.

Although at times this process can be difficult and painful it is always done with loving, gentle hands. God is continually reshaping my thinking. Just this week I have been realizing I still harbor many wrong opinions about God. When I find it difficult to tell God what I really think, feel, or fear He tells me in prayer that the difficulty comes because I still believe lies about Him. I still have someone else's face on Him. If I cower and hide I am still under the assumption that He is a God to be avoided instead of embraced. That His love is based on my performance of duties rather than a heart of love. That He prefers distance to drawing near.

He is daily helping me to see the twisted lies I have lived under. My view of Him is like a valuable painting that has been painted over. What God is doing is slowly taking away the chips of paint so that the Masterpiece of Himself can be clearly seen. And as I see the portrait restored to its original form I am able to trust His searching of me and knowing of my heart.

Father, I finally yield to Your searching and knowing. You are trustworthy, gentle, and good! Let me see what You have seen all along. Amen.

Having A Right View of God

What are you doing here, Elijah? I Kings 19:9

Many times God uses questions to probe our heart. They are meant to get us to search for the reasons behind our actions, words, and attitudes. God seeks to draw the truth out of us. Elijah had an answer ready for God but the conclusion he drew was incorrect. He thought he was the only follower left. Many times circumstances can distort our perception of God and ourselves. If one person rejects us then we interpret that to mean all people are rejecting us. If something goes wrong we feel everything is going wrong. Then the very thoughts we hold toward others become the thoughts we hold against God.

God always desires to reveal Himself to us. He wants to do nothing more than take our false, pre-conceived ideas and replace them with the truth. Usually the distortions are: God does not love me, God is angry with me, God is too busy for me, God is preoccupied. So far from the truth!

The Bible reveals much about the heart and character of God. When I have a wrong view of God, it is imperative that I counter it out loud with Scripture. For instance, if I tell myself God does not love me, I must counter it with God loves me with an everlasting love. He does not care must hear casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. And so on.

God does not mean for us to walk through life with lies about Himself. He loves it when we ask Him to reveal Himself to us.

Father, You present such a clear picture of Yourself. May I no longer live with the distorted ones. Amen.

He Provides What I Need

Arise and eat, because the journey is too great for you. I Kings 19:7b

After a great victory at Mt. Carmel, Elijah is running for his life and praying God would take his life. Jezebel is convinced she holds sway over his life and she has convinced Elijah of that very thing.
This morning I am sad. My emotions are on the surface. The fingers of authority threaten to strangle me and the prospects for the next three years look dim. I have struggled to journal or even feast on God’s Word.

Elijah was given bread and water to eat. He was sustained for forty days on what he ate. He went in the strength of that food. What is it that God will feed me with at this time of my life? His Word. His Spirit. His presence. Although I have given up all personal plans I know He is still the rock I stand on, the tower I dwell in, the refuge I find shelter in, the security I rest in. His hand is on me and I grasp it. His ears are open to my cry. His heart is moved by my plight.
As I seek direction He gives it. He has NOT forsaken me nor has He stepped aside and left me to fend for myself. My sadness does not offend Him ~ He understands this kind of sorrow.
I don’t know what lies ahead but I know who to hold on to in the midst of the storm. I must look to Him to provide for my social, emotional., and spiritual well being. May I rest in Him until definite direction is given.

Father, You control my life. May those who seek to hinder me not succeed. Amen.

In the Place of God

And Joseph said unto them , “Fear not; for am I in the place of God?” Genesis 50:19

When we begin to think that our life is in someone else’s hands (besides God’s) we can be filled with apprehension, dread, worry, and fear. Many Bible characters could have despaired of the influence others wielded over their life. The actions of others does affect us. But ultimately God holds us in His hands. He brings good from any situation. He produces gold from seeing tragedy. Beauty from ashes. Joseph and Job come to mind when I think of innocent victims. But both their lives ended up abundantly blessed.

But it is not just in fearful situations that the questions is asked, “Am I in the right place, God?” When I look to others to meet my needs I am looking for them to be in God’s place.

Disappointment marks my day when they fall short of my expectations. May I not put any other person in God’s place.

Father, forgive me for the times I replace You with Your creation. May daily look to You. Amen.

Getting What We Least Expect

Joseph will peradventure hate us, and will certainly requite (repay) us all the evil which we did unto him….Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them. Genesis 50:15 & 21

Joseph’s brothers feared they would get what they deserved. They suspected the only reason Joseph had been kind to them so far was because of their father’s presence. Now with Jacob dead their safety net has been removed and they tried to use his name and supposed dieing words to replace the safety net. There is no greater safety net than grace. It does not hinge on the behavior or deserving of the recipients. It rests in the heart of the giver.

Joseph wept when his brothers spoke to him. His tears were for his brothers who still walked in fear of him. They had not embraced the love he lavished on them. They really did not know his heart for them. If I spend my time living under wrong concepts of God, I miss the joy of relationship with Him. Better to list His extravagant gifts than live under self condemnation and guilt.

Joseph comforted them and spoke kindly unto them. What a picture of my Abba Father. May I learn to soak up His tenderness. Undeserved? Yes! But lavishly given just the same.

Father, may I feel safe, secure, and loved by You today. Let me grasp Your character! Amen!

Strengthened By God

The archers have sorely grieved him, and shot at him, and hated him, But his bow abode in strength, and the arms of his hands were made strong by the hands of the might God of Jacob. Genesis 49:23, 24

Jacob acknowledged the pain of Joseph’s past. The feelings of victimization could dominate his life but instead we read of strength. Muscles are built through resistance training. Our character, faith, and resolve are strengthened through trials in our life. Just as God strengthened Joseph, He is able to strengthen us.

May I look at each difficulty and see what strength will be developed in me as a result of it. If I will acknowledge pain, hardship, and loss, and then hand it to God, He will allow His purpose to be developed and realized in me. He can use anything in my life as His sculpting tool. I can trust His heart AND His hands.

Father, use all of my pain to produce gold and all of my loss to produce gain. You are the ultimate designer. Amen.

God Never Leaves

And Israel said unto Joseph, “Behold, I die: but God shall be with you, and bring you again unto the land of your fathers.” Genesis 48:21

People mean the world to me. I am extremely close to a few. I have thought many times of the day they depart from this world. I remember losing my mom over five years ago. At times the grief seemed unbearable. Losing someone close takes a part of you. The vacancy is huge.

I often dread the thought of someone close to me dieing. I know the sorrow will be great. But Jacob speaks the most comforting words to Joseph. “Behold, I die; but God will be with you.” I must remember that God remains with me when that loved one departs. His plan for me continues.

Father, it is times like this that your words, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” mean so much to me. Thank You. Amen.