Who I Really Need

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1 (King James Version)


Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the LORD JEHOVAH is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation. Isaiah 12:2 (King James Version)

Today is a day when I just want to crawl into the truth of who God is. David and Isaiah are both telling me where to take any inner turmoil. God is using their words to probe my heart. He is asking, “What are you looking for? What do you need?” No matter what I tell Him, no matter what I say, His response is always the same. “I am your refuge. I am your strength, I am your help, I am your salvation, I am your song!”

All of my attempts to find what I am looking for in external sources are met with His words. He is not being mean, but rather is doing the most loving, beneficial act toward me. He is actually answering a prayer I voiced several years ago. I saw another person’s walk with Him and wanted to know Him in the same way. I wanted to stand with a confidence that can only be found in Him. I wanted reliance that was aimed at Him. I wanted to live every day of my life out of an intimate relationship with Him. I did not know all that would entail in order to make it a reality in my own life, but He knew!

He knew it would require the removal of all my external props. He knew it would involve taking me out of my comfort zones. He knew it would necessitate learning to cry on His shoulder, take my heart aches to Him, and allow Him to search me thoroughly. He knew I would have to face my own skepticisms and suspicions about His ability to meet my deepest needs. He knew I would have to learn to transfer all of my dependency off my idols and on to Him. And He knew none of those things would come naturally or easily to me. But His knowledge is matched with His patience.

I am learning maturity in Christ does not mean I no longer struggle. It means I know where to take the struggles. At any given moment, as my needs arise, I turn to Him.

Father, life hurts. It is full of disappointment that often leaves me with a sadness inside. I bring it to You again. I need You alone. Amen.

There is None Like You - Lenny LeBlanc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N-JK9iZcrg&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

In Need of Him

It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22, 23 (King James Version)

I need the reminder of today’s passage. When my failures and weaknesses give me reason to give up. When my actions and attitudes give others cause to grow frustrated as the patience and love have warn thin. When the enemy of my soul has more ammunition to fire at me then I feel able to withstand. When feelings of worthlessness, insignificance, and sinfulness engulf me and peace, joy, and hope elude me. I need the awareness that God’s mercies and faithfulness do not fail. Rather, they are new every morning. When I least deserve it and shouldn’t have it, His faithfulness abounds. His grace. His compassion. His tenderness. My need.

I wonder this morning how I can come away from a 72 hour retreat with such resolve and promise, only to fall to the issues of life within a day. Did I know the enemy would attack? Yes. Did I realize my flesh would still be very much alive? Absolutely. Do I like what I see in myself and what I know others see as well? No. My desire for consistent strength and victory seem polar worlds apart from my reality. I am not what I want to be and I am grieved that I am not what God wants me to be. Yet His mercies are new today. His faithfulness continues.

He is urging me to get my heart right. He is pleading with me not to go into hiding or withdrawal. He knows the tendencies of my heart and the thoughts that have consumed me in the night. He is fully aware of steps I want to take that would not be for my good or His glory. The battle rages. The thoughts abound. The temptations are many. Yet His mercies are new and fresh today. His faithfulness continues. Not a bit of His loving kindness fades.

In the quietness of this moment, I dare to raise my eyes to His. Not because I fear He will reject me but because I am sickened by my own setbacks and wobbly steps. It is a new day. He is the same God. I am in need of much. Is it any wonder He calls Himself my Rock, Shelter, Stronghold, Abba Father?

Father, the valley after a mountain top experience is always so dark. So foreboding. So uncomfortable. I need You. Amen.

He Knows My Name - Tommy Walker
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkw3a4raWfg

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.
http://pathways2freedom.blogspot.com/

Platform Living

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33 (New International Version)

Some would read this verse this morning and groan, because the only thing they seem to be experiencing is the tribulation. Peace illudes them, good cheer is absent, and they wonder at the ‘overcoming’ part. If that is you today, may this devotional serve as a lifeline to you. Jesus’ intent is that we experience ALL the promises of this verse. Not to just stick our toe in His pool of words, but to plunge in and saturate ourselves with the hope in which He wants us to immerse ourselves!

This is one of those verses that has a sandwiche principle. The fact of tribulation in this life is sandwiched between the promises of peace and good cheer (taking heart). What does tribulation look like? It comes in many forms. It can be the pressures, hurts, disappointments, afflictions, anguish, burdens, turmoil, persecutions, troubles, or trials of life. Jesus does not want to leave us with the idea that the abundant life He promised would be absent of hardships. If we do not see that truth we will set ourselves up for disillusionment, confusion, and tremendous misunderstanding.

In the midst of the struggles Jesus makes available to us His peace, quietness, rest, and even prosperity. He invites us to live with good cheer, comfort, courage, boldness, and confidence. How? By seeing Him as the Overcomer to all of life. He subdued, conquered, and won the conquest at Calvary. Being in relationship with Him empowers me to live as a conquerer with a quiet boldness even in the midst of life’s difficulties. If nothing else, I stand on the premise that God is able to work all things out for my good and His glory.

As a devotional once reminded me, I can view my tribulations as “a platform for the display of His almighty grace and power.” It is up to me how I choose to live on that platform. I can curl up into a ball of pain, misery, and victimization, or I can accept God’s invitation to live life to the fullest with Him. While there will be tears shed along the way, I want to learn to sing, dance, and celebrate atop the platform!

Father, teach me to not only acknowledge the difficulties of life but to simultaneously proclaim Your Person, power, and presence at the center of it all. May I partner with You in my platform living! Amen.

In The Potters Hand - Hillsong (HQ sound)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=6beNoG0H0E0&feature=related

I welcome your questions and comments to any devotional thoughts. I am honored and delighted to share my journey with you and privileged to hear of yours.

After the Storm

Their life shall be like a watered garden….For I will turn their mourning into joy and will comfort them and make them rejoice after their sorrow….My people will be satisfied with My goodness, says the Lord. Jeremiah 31:12-14 (Amplified Bible)

Today’s verse was not my experience yesterday but it is this morning. I have long ago given up the notion that in this life I will only have good days and always have a smile on my face. Some days are just plain hard and yet God wants me to know on other days I will be like a watered garden and will experience joy, comfort, and satisfaction. My individual trials and troubles are not the end of the story. They are simply difficult moments within a realm of many precious moments.

It has become my practice after I have walked through a particular valley to glean what treasures I can from that valley. I look for the lessons to be learned and truths to be embraced. I may not necessarily see them when the tears are falling and my heart is grieving, but afterwards, when the storm has passed, I am able to view things from a different perspective. God’s voice is usually clearer to me and my heart is usually more receptive to what He has to say. Sometimes the lesson entails seeing an aspect about myself that wasn’t evident to me at the time. Skewed thinking, misplaced expectations, impaired vision, and wrong focus can become huge boulders in my path that must be recognized and removed.

This morning’s meditation over yesterday’s difficulties brought much to light. When people become my source for significance, identity, value, purpose, and worth I am standing on shaky ground. Mainly because God is the only true Source for those things. Besides, people come and go in my life. Putting such high expectations on temporary relationships sets me up for a continual sense of being unsettled and unstable. Jesus alone is my Rock and sturdy foundation. Because He does not change, what I derive from relationship with Him does not change.

The satisfaction God offers me is often disrupted because of discontentment. Wanting something I don’t have. Wanting life to be the way it use to be in certain areas. Thinking that because things have changed I will now be missing out. Once again, I have to see Who my source for life really is. If it is tied up in relationship with certain people I will definitely live with a sense of unhappiness, incompleteness, and emptiness. But when my relationship with God is the central point of my life I am able to be that well watered garden full of joy, comfort, and satisfaction. It is not a pie-in-the-sky thought. It is real life!

Father, any time I see You as my Source for all things I am able to experience the abundant life You promised. Keep that truth alive in me. Amen.

What To Do Next Time

Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 (New American Standard Bible)

Although this verse is underlined in my Bible, it has not been one that readily came to mind when I have walked through difficult, painful moments. It has not flowed from my mouth or been reviewed in my mind at times when it would have been beneficial and strengthening to do so. I wish it had! When I faced the darkest valley of my life, I wish I had started each day reading this verse and then reviewing it throughout the day. I believe it would have had a profound effect on me and that it would have weakened the effect of the darkness.

I cannot go back and change the past but I can definitely decide to make this verse a part of my future trials, testings, and tragedies. As I do that, several things will happen. My focus will be directed back toward my Father rather than remaining on my present circumstance. What I choose to look at and dwell on has huge ramifications for either good or bad. When I am consumed with pain, loss, and sorrow it drains me physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Better to have my mind fixed and focused on the One who speaks these words to me. When I feel that the road I am on has become quick sand and my sense of security is gone, this verse will infuse me with strength, confidence, and hope. When I am tempted to think I am all alone and forgotten, this verse will reacquaint me with the truth that God is with me and passionately involved in every aspect of my life. When I want another person to come along side me for support, this verse will remind me that HE is my God and HE will strengthen, help, and uphold me! I need not look any further than at the face, hand, and heart of my Creator, Sustainer, and Abba Father.

I recoil at bumper-sticker phrases that are often given out so glibly. Isaiah 41:10 is the kind of truth I need for hard times. It is filled with promises and assurances. It is imperative that above the roar of approaching storms, the sound of broken hearts and subsequent tears, and the deafening effects of anguish that I keep my ears attentive to the sound of God’s voice as He speaks His Word to me. I am presently walking out of my “valley of tears” but have made up my mind this verse will be a part of my next one when it comes…..and it will come.

Father, may the sound of Your voice be heard loud and clear when I face my next over whelming circumstance. Amen.

A Death Wish

But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life; for I am not better than my father. I Kings 19:4 KJV

I am writing today’s devotional with the awareness that some may be reading this who have in fact attempted to take their own lives through suicide. Others are reading it who, like Elijah, have prayed that God would just let them die. Knowing that God created us in His image with a strong desire to live, I am asking myself what it is that causes a person to desire death over life?

For Elijah it was fear. Jezebel had threatened his life and he ran for his life only to sit down and pray the Lord would let him die. For others it may be any number of issues that cause life to seem unbearable. Darkness sets in, reason leaves, confusion abounds, and there does not seem to be a way of escape or even a desire to find the escape.

I have known three distinct times in my life when I voiced such a prayer to God….or at least strongly wished He would just allow my life to end. One time was several years ago when my mother passed away. The ache of losing her engulfed me and there were times while driving I longed for semi trucks to just make their way over to my lane to end it all in one horrific accident. The other time was with the loss of a significant person in my life a year ago. Again, the enormous ache and pain left me with a death wish. I just wanted to stop hurting. Most recently it was during the darkest time of spiritual oppression that I have ever known. I felt isolated from every significant person in my life, questioned my own validity with God, doubted I should even write devotionals, and felt such darkness that again I despaired and wished God would just let me die. The fact that I am writing this devotional today reveals His ways are higher than my ways. Praise Him!

In the first two instances, time was a factor in regaining a desire to live. This most recent time was becoming acutely aware of how involved the enemy was in my life. David said in Psalm 55, “Because of the voice of the enemy…my heart is sore pained within me; and the terrors of death are fallen upon me.” I know now that the dark thoughts, multitude of confusion, and ultimate thought of death were his whispers. But God’s voice spoke louder. He listened the night my constant prayer was, “Jesus, I need You.” He held me when I lacked the strength to hold on to Him. And He revealed to me the true nature of my mindset. I stand in awe of His continual redeeming love!

Father, may I be filled with the fullness of You and live out the rest of my days in Your embrace! Amen.

Under His Care

He found him in a desert land, and in the howling waste of a wilderness; He encircled him, He cared for him, He guarded him as the pupil of His eye. Like an eagle that stirs up its nest, that hovers over its young, He spread His wings and caught them, He carried them on His pinions. Deuteronomy 32:10-11

We live in a world that can leave us feeling unloved, uncared for, and neglected. In the midst of loss, pain, heartache, depravation, loneliness, rejection, and unmet needs, where or who do we turn to? This morning my mind reflects on friends who are presently experiencing the harsh realities of life. A dear friend buried a much loved cat last night. For some that would be a small thing but her loss brings an ache. Other friends face cancer, multiple sclerosis, infertility, divorce, death of loved ones, unemployment, depression, separation, and regret. They all need a safe place for their hearts.

In this passage I see a tender picture of God as He cares for each of us. The verbs alone speak volumes to me. It is in the storms of life that shelter is sought. And it is in the desert lands and howling waste of the wilderness that we need a refuge in which to hide. God is inviting each one of us to close our eyes and picture ourselves as the eaglet in this passage. He wants us to drink in the truth that He is the One who longs to encircle, care for, guard, hover over, catch, and carry us. He wants to protect, nourish, and sustain us much like a mother eagle with her young.

This passage spoke volumes to me last night. I needed to see it and have it minister to me specifically. For once again God was reminding me that running to the wrong sources to get my needs met will leave me with empty arms and an aching heart. If I look to anyone or anything besides Him to give me significance, affirmation, acceptance, approval, or unconditional, unlimited love then I am setting myself up for disappointment. It is in the midst of my disappointment or loss that He calls me to come to Him. For He longs to give me what others cannot.

May others learn to do what I am doing this morning. I am putting my name in this verse and reveling in the thought that God’s tenderness and care are directed toward me.

Father, I once again look to You as my life source. May I experience all the ramifications of being under Your care. Amen.

Out of Darkness Into the Light

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ. Ephesians 1:3 NASB

I like what Paul is doing in this verse. He is adoring God for the favor He has bestowed upon us in giving to us all the benefits of being in Christ. The first chapter of Ephesians is an incredible list of God-given possessions and positions in Christ. It is our answer to any feelings of insignificance, deprivation, loneliness, distress, disappointment, depression, and self-condemnation we hang on to or accept from the enemy.

Last night a cloud of darkness hung over me that was so thick I could feel it. It enveloped me and threatened to strangle every part of me. Joy was gone, hope was elusive, acceptance was unfelt, and my inner world seemed shaky. I found myself drawing conclusions and making plans that were all headed in the wrong direction. No peace. No spirit of thankfulness. No walk of victory. It is not a place I enjoy being in.

God’s intent is that I see it for what it is (an attack) and I grab hold of the life line He extends to me. This morning that life line was the first chapter of Ephesians and the phrase “in Christ.” My hope, my strength, my forgiveness, my salvation, my growth, my fellowship, my wisdom, my joy, my direction, my fullness, my significance, my identity, my purpose, my life are ALL found in Christ. When people cannot be to me what I want them to be, when circumstances are not the way I want them to be, when dreams are not realized, when disappointments come, when tears flow, when darkness descends I must once again climb into the truth that I am in Christ and everything I want and need is found in Him!

God wants me to see that when I look outside of Him to get my needs met I will always come away disappointed. He has kind intentions toward me and lavishes me with grace, forgiveness, mercy, love, and attention. I am His treasured possession whom He chose before the foundations of the world. A nobody? Absolutely not! Insignificant? No way! Forgotten? Never! This morning He is reminding me that the greatness of His power is at work in me. All the change is coming from Him. I am His work of art and He is not finished yet!

Father, last night it was dark. Today I walk in the light which is so bright I am squinting! Thank you for pulling me up once again. Amen.

He Provides What I Need

Arise and eat, because the journey is too great for you. I Kings 19:7b

After a great victory at Mt. Carmel, Elijah is running for his life and praying God would take his life. Jezebel is convinced she holds sway over his life and she has convinced Elijah of that very thing.
This morning I am sad. My emotions are on the surface. The fingers of authority threaten to strangle me and the prospects for the next three years look dim. I have struggled to journal or even feast on God’s Word.

Elijah was given bread and water to eat. He was sustained for forty days on what he ate. He went in the strength of that food. What is it that God will feed me with at this time of my life? His Word. His Spirit. His presence. Although I have given up all personal plans I know He is still the rock I stand on, the tower I dwell in, the refuge I find shelter in, the security I rest in. His hand is on me and I grasp it. His ears are open to my cry. His heart is moved by my plight.
As I seek direction He gives it. He has NOT forsaken me nor has He stepped aside and left me to fend for myself. My sadness does not offend Him ~ He understands this kind of sorrow.
I don’t know what lies ahead but I know who to hold on to in the midst of the storm. I must look to Him to provide for my social, emotional., and spiritual well being. May I rest in Him until definite direction is given.

Father, You control my life. May those who seek to hinder me not succeed. Amen.