After the Storm

Their life shall be like a watered garden….For I will turn their mourning into joy and will comfort them and make them rejoice after their sorrow….My people will be satisfied with My goodness, says the Lord. Jeremiah 31:12-14 (Amplified Bible)

Today’s verse was not my experience yesterday but it is this morning. I have long ago given up the notion that in this life I will only have good days and always have a smile on my face. Some days are just plain hard and yet God wants me to know on other days I will be like a watered garden and will experience joy, comfort, and satisfaction. My individual trials and troubles are not the end of the story. They are simply difficult moments within a realm of many precious moments.

It has become my practice after I have walked through a particular valley to glean what treasures I can from that valley. I look for the lessons to be learned and truths to be embraced. I may not necessarily see them when the tears are falling and my heart is grieving, but afterwards, when the storm has passed, I am able to view things from a different perspective. God’s voice is usually clearer to me and my heart is usually more receptive to what He has to say. Sometimes the lesson entails seeing an aspect about myself that wasn’t evident to me at the time. Skewed thinking, misplaced expectations, impaired vision, and wrong focus can become huge boulders in my path that must be recognized and removed.

This morning’s meditation over yesterday’s difficulties brought much to light. When people become my source for significance, identity, value, purpose, and worth I am standing on shaky ground. Mainly because God is the only true Source for those things. Besides, people come and go in my life. Putting such high expectations on temporary relationships sets me up for a continual sense of being unsettled and unstable. Jesus alone is my Rock and sturdy foundation. Because He does not change, what I derive from relationship with Him does not change.

The satisfaction God offers me is often disrupted because of discontentment. Wanting something I don’t have. Wanting life to be the way it use to be in certain areas. Thinking that because things have changed I will now be missing out. Once again, I have to see Who my source for life really is. If it is tied up in relationship with certain people I will definitely live with a sense of unhappiness, incompleteness, and emptiness. But when my relationship with God is the central point of my life I am able to be that well watered garden full of joy, comfort, and satisfaction. It is not a pie-in-the-sky thought. It is real life!

Father, any time I see You as my Source for all things I am able to experience the abundant life You promised. Keep that truth alive in me. Amen.

Fight For Me

Then Joshua and all Israel with him returned to Debir, and they fought against it. He captured it and its king and all its cities, and they struck them with the edge of the sword, and utterly destroyed every person who was in it. He left no survivor. Joshua 10:38,39 (New American Standard Bible)

The phrases stood out to me like bright, flashing neon lights. Throughout the tenth chapter of Joshua I see the repeated message….fought against, captured, struck down, utterly destroyed, no survivor. Taking possession of the promised land entailed many battles but none were fought and won without the instructions, direction, assistance, and partnership of God. Not once were they left on their own to defeat the enemies. A few times, God did all the fighting for them but many times they were called upon to enter the battle and wield the swords. City after city fell to complete annihilation. I want such victory!

This morning I am voicing but one request to God, “Fight for me. Destroy the enemy within me.” The very thing that keeps cropping up in my life is what I want to see put to death and I am desiring that God does that for me. Some would say I must do it myself. Their words would feel like I am being sent to the battlefield of my soul on my own. I need God to help me do what I am struggling to do. I am asking Him to help me conquer and defeat the very thing I am holding on to. To help me open my hands in release. To help me let go from my heart. To kill what I have kept alive.

There was a time in my Christian life when I had no idea I could bring such a request to God. I felt He wouldn’t hear or help. But He has shown me His heart and in seeing that, I have learned to be honest and transparent before Him. His Word assures me of the perfection and display of His strength in my weakness. His hope in my hopelessness. His willingness to fight for me when I am over whelmed and over run. I am not giving up. I am simply asking Him to carry me until His courage infuses me once again. I want to embrace the journey He has for me and allow Him to bring in and take out of my life all that entails. My unwillingness in certain areas of submission and trust is the backdrop for my cry for help to Him. I am in need of Him to put to death in me the desire that still pulsates with life until it is no longer breathing (Joshua 11:14). I am asking Him to put within me the desire to fight. To release what needs to be released and embrace what needs to be embraced. To hunger for Him and His will above my own. He knows the heart behind my words as well as the places of fear. He knows I can’t see beyond right now and that my faith is shaky. And He reminds me that He is not only my Rock but my Shepherd. He will supply what I lack.

Father, You fought some of the battles in their entirety for the children of Israel. I call upon You to do the same for me now. Amen.

Continual Preparation

When the enemy comes in like a flood, the Spirit of the LORD will lift up a standard against him. Isaiah 59:19b (New King James Version)

Sometimes the enemy makes sneak attacks. They have been planned out for days or even weeks and at the right moment he strikes. Other times the attack is so blatant and head on it literally feels like an overwhelming flood has hit. I find it interesting that the word flood can also imply an undercurrent. Growing up near Lake Michigan I often heard of the under toes that could pull a swimmer down quickly and the result could be tragic. Being caught off guard and unprepared was deadly for some. Spiritually speaking we must stay alert and knowledgeable to our adversary. We must know the places he tends to visit and the things he is most likely to use against us. He thrives on our ignorance of him and his techniques.

We also must stay aware of God’s actions at such times. At the time of attacks, He will lift up a standard against our enemy. This has the idea of putting one to flight and providing an escape. The enemy is put to flight and I am given a way to escape. I like that! It comforts me to know I never face a battle alone. God fights for me and with me! Without that awareness I sink all too quickly and wonder if I will ever come up for air. But that is not God’s intent. He wants to grow me up in the grace and knowledge of Himself. He wants to develop my spiritual muscles and teach my hands how to war successfully. He wants to teach me how to use the armor He has provided and to stand with boldness and confidence in Him.

I am currently learning another powerful truth. With each battle and in between the battles I am being prepared for the next one that hits. When an attack comes, I am better at fighting than I was for the last one. I take some blows, yes, but the devastation is not as profound and the duration is not as long. Discouragement over the fact that I am still engaged in the same types of battles is being replaced by the truth that I am not fighting against flesh and blood……..even when it is my own…….but I am fighting against principalities and powers and rulers in high places. I am learning to define the battle which is often easily camouflaged by the enemy. It is called discernment, walking in truth, and taking a firm stand on the battlefield. If tears are going to fall let them fall amidst praise of what I know God is doing! May God continue to awaken in me the Spirit of a true warrior child!

Father, this recent attack served as preparation for the next one. I raise my shield of faith and sword of the Spirit once again. This battle is Yours and so am I. Amen.

Truth Telling

Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” John 4:16 (New King James Version)

A woman of Samaria comes to a well to get water and is about to have a conversation with Jesus. What she didn’t realize was that He was her Creator and knew every detail of her life. He also sought to be the redeemer of her life. A radical change was about to take place but it would require a moment of truth. Once her interest was pricked Jesus asked her a question that would change her entire view of Him. He asked her to go and get her husband. The woman’s first response was a cover up of sorts. She simply told Jesus she didn’t have a husband. Her words were true but her story was still being well hidden….as far as she was concerned. Jesus knew the truth. In a moments time He exposed an area of her life that she was hoping would remain her “secret.” He revealed the living situation she was presently in. Having been married five times previously, she was now living with a person she wasn’t married to. Her reaction was not one of denial, shame, or anger. Her reaction was that she finally saw Jesus for who He was.

I have come to realize how my honesty with God opens up a relationship with Him that is impossible when I try to hide details of my life from Him. He knows it all. He has seen everything I have done, heard everything I have said, and perceived everything I have thought. He has been present at every conversation, witnessed every heartache, and detected every sin. He even stands fully aware of any future moments in my life. Opening up in honesty to Him is NOT for the purpose of informing Him of something He does not know. It is for the purpose of freeing me!

I love Job 36:16 from the NIV, “He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restrictions, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food.” It has become my life verse because it expresses God’s plan and work in my life. I am not free in any area where I am in denial or hiding. When I close off any area of my life and hesitate to confide the truth to my Heavenly Father I am in a prison of my own making. His desire for me to be honest with Him about my actions, motives, thoughts, and failures is an invitation to freedom and intimate relationship. My honesty opens up the lines of communication and the door to change.

Knowing that He loves me unconditionally, delights in me as His daughter, and longs to set me free from any and all things, makes it possible and desirable to be honest with Him. I have learned that my truth telling is always met with open arms, tender eyes, listening ears, and receptive heart. The beauty of His fathering me is something I continue to marvel over!

Father, You ask the right questions and probe the right areas of my heart. I am learning to trust You in ways that use to be difficult. May the conversations we have continue to be healing, refreshing, and renewing. Amen.

Becoming Willing

For thus the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, has said, “In repentance and rest you will be saved, in quietness and trust is your strength.” But you were not willing. Isaiah 30:15 (New American Standard Bible)

God knows us thoroughly and will go to any length to bring us to the place He most desires for us to be. Yet, it is easy to misunderstand where He is leading and what He is doing. Many times, He must walk us through numerous issues and places to finally get us to the “starting” point of His desire.

Several years ago when I began this journey I had my own idea of what God was doing. I thought it was all about learning the truth about God and learning the truth about myself, realizing my freedoms in Christ, tearing down the denominational walls as well as the versions of the Bible walls, seeing His Word come alive and practical, eventually writing devotionals, and sharing with others the things God was teaching me. Did those things happen? Absolutely! Were they exciting to experience? Yes! Did they happen over night? Not at all! Have they reshaped and drastically changed the way I live my Christian life? Definitely! At the same time, they were simply the preliminary parts of God’s longing for me. God’s purpose ran much deeper than merely the dynamics of my internal and external life.

I am just now beginning to see that God wants to bring me to the place of living in repentance, rest, quietness, and trust with Him. To seek Him for confidence and comfort. The learn to embrace my emotions in His presence instead of seeking to deny them, anesthetize them, or ignore them. To not allow aloneness to cause me to feel separated from Him. To prefer to spend time with Him more than with anyone else.

I am picturing myself in a large mansion. Many of the rooms are filled with people, things, opportunities, or treasures. One room is where God alone waits for me. As I review my life I see how often I have bi-passed that room for all the others. Those have been my “you were not willing” moments. It is now that I have finally reached for the door knob, stepped inside, and come face to face with the One who will help me to walk intimately with Himself. He is assuring me I am safe, known, and loved. Others have been in this room with Him and their lives attest to the fact that it made all the difference in the world. I long to receive what they received and have that be my central focal point.

Father, You are calling me to a deeper place with Yourself. No human guides will be used at this time. It is just You and me. Amidst the uncertainties and insecurities are hope and anticipation. I come and I bow. Amen.

What To Do Next Time

Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 (New American Standard Bible)

Although this verse is underlined in my Bible, it has not been one that readily came to mind when I have walked through difficult, painful moments. It has not flowed from my mouth or been reviewed in my mind at times when it would have been beneficial and strengthening to do so. I wish it had! When I faced the darkest valley of my life, I wish I had started each day reading this verse and then reviewing it throughout the day. I believe it would have had a profound effect on me and that it would have weakened the effect of the darkness.

I cannot go back and change the past but I can definitely decide to make this verse a part of my future trials, testings, and tragedies. As I do that, several things will happen. My focus will be directed back toward my Father rather than remaining on my present circumstance. What I choose to look at and dwell on has huge ramifications for either good or bad. When I am consumed with pain, loss, and sorrow it drains me physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Better to have my mind fixed and focused on the One who speaks these words to me. When I feel that the road I am on has become quick sand and my sense of security is gone, this verse will infuse me with strength, confidence, and hope. When I am tempted to think I am all alone and forgotten, this verse will reacquaint me with the truth that God is with me and passionately involved in every aspect of my life. When I want another person to come along side me for support, this verse will remind me that HE is my God and HE will strengthen, help, and uphold me! I need not look any further than at the face, hand, and heart of my Creator, Sustainer, and Abba Father.

I recoil at bumper-sticker phrases that are often given out so glibly. Isaiah 41:10 is the kind of truth I need for hard times. It is filled with promises and assurances. It is imperative that above the roar of approaching storms, the sound of broken hearts and subsequent tears, and the deafening effects of anguish that I keep my ears attentive to the sound of God’s voice as He speaks His Word to me. I am presently walking out of my “valley of tears” but have made up my mind this verse will be a part of my next one when it comes…..and it will come.

Father, may the sound of Your voice be heard loud and clear when I face my next over whelming circumstance. Amen.

The One Who Is Responsible

Hear, O Israel, today you are going into battle against your enemies. Do not be fainthearted or afraid; do not be terrified or give way to panic before them. For the LORD your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory. Deuteronomy 20:3,4 (New International Version)

I am taking encouragement from this passage today. Each day will entail battles of one sort or another. Whether it is with the world, my flesh, or my greatest enemy, the devil, there will be battles. But my reason for not allowing that to put me in faintheartedness, fear, terror, or panic is because of God’s promise to be with me and to fight for me. He has already assured me of victory. So why do I lack victory in different areas of my life and how can I change future outcomes?

One of my greatest detriments to victorious living is a lack of awareness of Who is making this promise to me. The Lord God is speaking the words and has the ability and desire to carry them out. He wants me to notice how much responsibility He places on Himself to be with me, fight for me, and give me the victory. It is not a matter of me mustering the strength within myself or surrounding myself with the “right” people. It is a matter of taking Him at His word and allowing His word to take hold of me. My eyes are to be on Him, my feet are to be in step with Him, my dependence is to be in Him, and my pursuit is to be for Him. Trust, obey, cooperate, rely upon, and know Him! Those are the channels through which victory flows.

Last night, God helped me to see something that was blocking that channel. It was something I had not been fully aware of and when I saw it I was astounded! It had to do with placing a lot of responsibility on the shoulders of others. In essence He was telling me, “You are expecting people to make you happy, fill your emptiness, fix your problems, answer your questions, complete your life, nurture your soul, and basically take care of all your internal and emotional needs. The disappointment you keep experiencing when they “fail” you is evidence of misplaced expectations. You are trying to make them responsible for your life, feelings, and emotions. Transfer your expectations over to Me. I have already made Myself responsible for all of that and more!” It is the full scope of His promise to be with me, fight for me, and give me the victory. What a gracious God and One in whom I can fully rely!

Taking Him at His word brings me victory and allows people to be what God meant for them to be. It frees me to appreciate them in a way my neediness often wouldn’t allow.

Father, in this holy moment, I no longer hold others responsible for my life. That responsibility lies squarely on Your shoulders and I am in awe of You! Amen.