Moving Toward Intimacy

But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel. Psalm 22:3 (King James Version)

But You are holy, enthroned in the praises of Israel. Psalm 22:3 (New King James Version)

The words of Oswald Chambers, in My Utmost For His Highest, quickened my spirit this morning. He said, When once we get intimate with Jesus we are never lonely, we never need sympathy, we can pour out all the time without being pathetic. The saint who is intimate with Jesus will never leave impressions of himself, but only the impression that Jesus is having unhindered way, because the last abyss of his nature has been satisfied by Jesus. The only impression left by such a life is that of the strong calm sanity that Our Lord gives to those who are intimate with Him. He managed to put into words the longing of my heart but lack of my own experience. Not lack of God’s desire and ability to give it but my own lack of receiving it fully. To be so satisfied in Him that I no longer look to former places of comfort and security. To be so enamored by Him that I no longer fix my eyes and attention on an individual. God’s offers are as good as promises waiting to be received.

As soon as I read the results of intimacy with Jesus I voiced to God my desire to have that and to know how to have it. God used something Sarah Young had written in Jesus Calling to infuse me with two necessary truths. She wrote on the topic of praise and I saw two things that were new to me. One is that God dwells equally in praise voiced in joy as well as in sorrow! To Him one is no better than the other….they are the same. Then she wrote something I needed to hear. She wrote that the joyous discipline of praise will help you live in the intimacy of Jesus’ presence.

To think that my praise, my celebration of who God is and all He does, is a dwelling place for Him and the way to intimacy with Him. It is the way to flesh out the abiding principle of John 15:1-4. While it is not the full scope of intimacy with God, it is certainly a praise worthy piece of the puzzle! It touches my heart to know that when I seek answers from Him, He gives them. He longs to be known and is willing to lead us into the knowledge and experience of intimacy with Himself. How I needed to receive this from His hands this morning!

Father, I don’t understand the full scope of intimacy with You. While I have progressed in my journey I have so long to go and so much to learn. Thank you for patiently and passionately guiding me. Amen.

He is Mindful of That

Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him. For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust. Psalm 103:13,14 (New American Standard Bible)

One of the most powerful tools God has given me is the ability to recognize lies and replace them with truth. It use to be, if I ’thought’ it or ’felt’ it I received it as truth. With the distortions came discouragement and poor choices. If the truth sets you free then lies put you in bondage. Bondage to your emotions and the actions that stem from them. Receiving truth and the liberty that comes with it has a profound effect upon my words, actions, and moods. And the precious thing about it, is that God willingly reveals the truth to me on a moment by moment basis.

He is helping me to discern dangerous thinking and longs to help me change the course of my mind before I end up in a pit of discouragement. If I will but listen for His words of truth they will come early on in my thought process. He exposes the lie and displays the truth then leaves the choice with me as to whether or not I will receive His words or continue walking in deception. The conversation is not long but it is powerful!

This was played out in an interesting way last night. I had been to a mid-week service and was headed to the store for a few things. In the course of my drive, I began to experience some discouraging thoughts. Within a few minutes the lies began to surface. If I am discouraged or disheartened I must not really love God or know Him and He must be so disappointed in me. Then in a way that only God can do, He spoke these words to my heart. “Pam, your discouragement does not show a lack of love for Me or knowledge of Me. It simply shows that you are human. I am aware of your frailties. My love remains.” That is all it took for me to regain confidence, security, and passion for this journey and the One who walks it with me. The lie was replaced by truth and I was ecstatic!

As today’s verse says, He is mindful of how I am made and how I am wired. He knows what trips me up and holds me at arms length from Him. My humanness comes as no surprise to Him. He readily recognizes, admits, and acknowledges the “dust.” But that does not stop Him from molding, shaping, and transforming me. I am not a disappointment to Him or a burden. I am His daughter and I am loved.

Father, I need Your reminders so often. Each time You speak truth to me it changes me. Thank you! Amen.

Seeking Him

Seek the LORD and His strength; seek His face continually. Psalm 105:4 (New American Standard Bible)

Someone once made the comment that I appear to be looking for something and haven’t quite found it yet. Their words struck me because they seemed to see this as a weakness. Yet, God assures me in His Word that seeking Him is not only a necessity but an invitation He extends to each of us. He knows our tendency to seek many things from many sources other than Himself and He longs for our searching to finally be directed toward Himself.

I found it interesting that there are two different Hebrew words used for “seek” in this verse. The first means to resort to and enquire of and the second means to desire to find. Both are necessary, for Jesus said to abide in Him, ask of Him, and love Him with all our heart, soul, and mind. He gave the ‘how to’ of today’s verse.

While God will not always show me what He is doing or why He is doing it, He longs to show me Himself. He longs for me to live each day with the realization of who He is and what His heart and character are like. I know what it is like to be passionate about knowing someone and being known by them. I know what it is like to want another person to affirm, accept, and welcome me. God invites me to bring that same passion to my seeking of Him. To pour my heart and life into knowing Him, being transparent before Him, and receiving His love and affection toward me. It is only as I do THAT kind of seeking that I will find myself anointed by His strength and might.

As I enter a new day (and a new year) my heart’s cry is that He would reveal Himself to me in more poignant ways. He does not limit the ways He will do that either. His Self revelations will come through His Word, music, other believers, books, nature, circumstances, solitude, and Spirit. He is an open book to any who would dare to look upon the pages of His heart. He doesn’t play a game of Hide and Seek with us, but rather seek and find! I rest and revel in that truth!

Father, I have often wearied myself with a searching heart. I now seek You and am assured I will find you and know You as I seek You with all my heart, soul, and mind. I love You and seek You with abandon. Amen.

God's Demonstration

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves….so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body….so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 2 Corinthians 4:7,10,11 (New American Standard Bible)

As I look back over this past year, my desire is that God’s power was evident in my life and that the life of Christ was seen in me. Eternity will ultimately reveal if that was the case. But for now, I rest in the fact that anything of eternal value that was accomplished and anything of lasting change that came about was truly the display of God’s power and not my own. I know that in my flesh, my power, my strength, and my resolve this is not possible. I have experienced too many failures, distractions, and diversions for me to muster up any self-glory. The final test is not what people thought of me for they were limited in their view. It is not even what I think of myself for my heart is deceitful. In the end, it is what God sees and knows. For He alone sees my heart, motives, and thoughts. He reads me like an open book.

He also knows what He is working in me to bring about His masterpiece of redemption. He has chosen to indwell this earthen vessel with all of its weaknesses, sinful habits, and prodigal ways. Like a jeweler who places diamonds on a backdrop of dark velvet for a greater contrast, He chooses to contrast His perfection and holiness against my depravity, His forgiveness against my sin, His love against my rebellion, and His strength against my weakness. The contrast is not only evident, it is stunning and evokes praise to Him!

I praise Him for any steps forward He helped me to take and any steps backward He forgave. I praise Him for any knowledge of Himself that was gained. I praise Him for the tears He allowed and then lovingly dried. I praise Him for painful goodbyes and extraordinary introductions. I praise Him for any and all things He used to draw me closer to Himself. I praise Him for that which caused me to open my eyes, ears, heart, and arms to Him. I praise Him for the things He noticed that escaped even my attention. I praise Him for not allowing others to take His place. I praise Him for loving discipline that not only got my attention but opened the door for change. I praise Him for individuals He supplied to walk along side me. I praise Him for all the ways He chose to teach me of His ways and His heart. I praise Him for ministering to the wounds, brokenness, and heartaches. I praise Him for all the music that has reached my ears as well as my spirit. I praise Him for this journey. And I praise Him that by His grace I will enter another year to see Him continue to do all of this and so much more!

Father, show Yourself plainly in my life. May each day I see and acknowledge Your work in me. My Potter, My Father, My Friend, I love You! Amen.

Imitations of Himself

God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Genesis 1:27 (New American Standard Bible)

I have seen pictures of the Rocky Mountains and I have been to the Rocky Mountains. While pictures can be breath taking, they do not begin to compare to the beauty and majesty of the actual place. They are simply an image or likeness of it. They give us an idea of the genuine but they are not the same thing. The Rocky Mountains are so much more! Any who would settle for a picture over the real place is settling for less.

God created man in His image as someone who would display His character, personality, and likeness. Think of the special qualities you see in others be it patience, love, joy, warmth, charm, or strength, and you are seeing a limited aspect of God Himself. They are merely the image of the One who created them. Too often, we settle for the image over the authentic One. In our flesh we would be content to look to the images, but our spirit knows the difference. Our spirit yearns for the God who created the very person with whom we have become enamored.

This morning I am thinking of numerous people God has brought into my life and I am appreciating the way they reflect God. That which attracts me to them is Christ in them. The qualities of His heart are showing through and are meant to give me a glimpse and taste of what He is like. Just as a picture of an exotic place would awaken a desire in me to go to that place, the picture of Christ in another individual should awaken in me a desire to go to Christ Himself.

God longs for each of us to move out of the “art gallery” that displays His image and turn our attention toward Him. To stop settling for the imitations. To stop making them our focal point, security, plum line, and compass. He is their Source and wants to be ours as well. He longs for us to be obsessed with Him and captivated by Him. What we see in others will help us to know about God but only He can help us to know Him. One is intellectual while the other is life changing.

While I thank God for those who have imitated Him so well, I am no longer satisfied with a limited view. My desire is to see Him for myself, hear Him for myself, talk to Him myself, and connect with Him myself. No amount of rubbing shoulders with others will bring that about. It must be a one on one meeting with the One who created me in His own image. This morning, I choose to slip my name into Genesis 1:27 and live with a fresh realization of that truth.

Father, may I no longer settle for the images of You. I hear Your call to know You and I follow the sound of Your voice. Amen.

A Call to Stand Still

So the priests who bore the ark stood in the midst of the Jordan until everything was finished that the LORD had commanded Joshua to speak to the people, according to all that Moses had commanded Joshua; and the people hurried and crossed over. Joshua 4:10 (New King James Version)

I find it interesting that for a while the priests were called to stand still! The duration of their “stand” was until everything God commanded was finished. It wasn’t finished when the entire nation of Israel crossed over the Jordan River on dry land. It was finished when twelve individuals had removed twelve stones for memorials from the river bed and Joshua had set up twelve stones as a memorial in the river bed. Once all of that was accomplished, the priests were allowed to move forward.

To me, standing still is always more difficult than moving forward. It doesn’t seem natural or necessary from my perspective. But I am quickly learning (and relearning) that MY perspective is not the issue….God’s perspective is! I often feel like the student at the back of room who is wildly waving her hand in hopes of being “chosen” for something! And yet over my restlessness and enthusiasm God seems to be saying, “Stand here until I have finished some things in you and some things in others.” He can tell by my slumped shoulders and confused look that I do not understand His command.

While He has not shown me all the reasons or the full picture for this stand still moment, He has let me know what it does NOT mean and what I am to be doing during this time. It does not mean He doesn’t care or is uninvolved in my life. It does not mean I am insignificant or unusable. Nor does it mean there aren’t future plans and purposes for my life. Those are the interpretations the enemy delights in whispering to me. Those are the lies I must counter with biblical truth. I must poise myself to hear God say, “I care about you and you are My precious child. I know the plans I have for you…they are good plans. In My time and in My way I will unfold those plans to you. Rest in Me. You are right where I want you…for now.”

With that said, I see things God wants to accomplish in me at this time. Drawing closer to Him and developing a dependency upon Him is primary! He is still fixing the false concepts and perceptions I have of Him. He is also walking me through the huge issue of emotional dependency. Two powerful tools He is giving me are books and crossing my path with individuals who have walked this road before me. Seeing just those two areas is enough to convince me that standing still is an excellent idea after all!

Father, there is no such thing as wasted time when it is of You. I choose to stand in this place until You have finished all that You desire to do at this time. I leave the timing and the commanding to You. Amen.

Believing and Abiding in His Love

And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. I John 4:16 (New King James Version)

To know and believe God really loves us is to think it to be true, to be persuaded it is true, and to place confidence in its truth. Nearly four years ago, I came to understand that God’s love is not dependent on what I am doing. In other words, my actions and behavior are not the basis for His love. That had a profound effect upon me. It shook up my belief system and caused me to take a hard look at the many misperceptions I had about God and the Christian life. It birthed changes in me and broke through self imposed limits and walls. My “box” mentality gave way to spacious places in which I was free to move about and explore. It opened up honest dialogue between myself and God. Knowing that He required truth in the inward parts changed my prayer life. Secure in His love, I could begin to voice questions, doubts, and misgivings. True feelings and honest thoughts could now be shared with Him.

Taking in the truth of God’s love is one thing but God invites us to go further. He wants His love to become our place of abiding on a daily basis. To tarry in the knowledge and have it become our continual reference point. Come what may, it must be our plumb line that keeps us centered and focused on Him. Without it we drift and become victims of difficulties, rampant emotions, and tactics of an enemy who wants to devour and destroy us. Physical, financial, emotional, spiritual, or relational hardships must continue to be placed under the canopy of God’s love for us. We must anchor our souls to it, fix our minds on it, and live within the reality of it on a continual basis.

Easier said than done? Absolutely. But worth it! It is what strengthens me when I am weak, wounded, or weary. It is what renews my hope when I am floundering. It is what assures me of forgiveness and mercy when I have really blown it. It is what redirects my steps when I have wandered. Each time I crawl into the truth of His love and embrace it for myself, I am anointed with a security that no one else can give to me.

I am still learning and still growing but it is being done in the context of God’s love, heart, and thoughts toward me. Whether I am in valleys or on mountain tops the truth continues to set me free!

Father, thank you for a love that never changes, never walks away, and never diminishes. I open my arms and my heart to all You give to me. Amen.