Proven to be Storm - Proofed

He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. Psalm 40:2 (King James Version)

To understand the completeness of God’s work in your life is to walk in its truth and see it result in victory in areas that use to send you reeling. Once God has brought you through a place of hardship, He wants to help you see that He has done a permanent work in you. Just as a house is not proven storm-proofed until it has weathered a storm, we are often taken through a “storm” to show that we are truly out of the pit and established in our goings. I found myself in one such moment of “proving” recently.

During the coarse of a recent lunch date, I was sharing with an individual how God had been setting me free in a particular area. The conversation turned to a discussion of the very thing God had delivered me from and as things were shared I could tell my “moment of truth” was about to be revealed. What she shared with me would have at one time sent me into an emotional tail spin of great proportion. I listened with baited breath as she let me know some things I had not been aware of regarding a mutual acquaintance. I knew I was in territory that would either bring me down or prove my deliverance. I wanted to hear what she was saying but at the same time I didn’t want any negative effects to come from it. What resulted was a time of sharing that didn’t lead to a negative consequence.

However, once the conversation was over I could tell the enemy was lurking in the shadows waiting to use against me what was said. That uneasy feeling began to be felt and I decided it was time to put into practice the very things I had been learning. I acknowledged the work of the enemy, renounced his interpretation of things, and proclaimed the truth. What was precious is that as I was voicing the truth, God began to bring Scripture to my mind that assured me He had in fact brought me up and established my goings. He had firmly set my feet on a rock and I was secure, fixed, and stable in Him. He had not only established my way, He had established me!

I cannot fully express what it means to me to embrace the magnitude of His work. After so many times of proclaiming early victories which were followed by failures that revealed the victories really hadn’t transpired, I find it hard to relax and rest in what He has now done. He understands my gun shy tendencies. He knows with each test I gain confidence in what He has done. I lift my hands in praise to the God who has never let go of me.

Father, I am at a place where I still need Your reminders that You really have freed me in this area. As often as the enemy brings the doubts You are bringing the truth! My uncertainties are giving way to amazement. Amen.

Owning His Words

Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble; He saved them out of their distresses. He sent His word and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions. Let them give thanks to the LORD for His loving kindness, and for His wonders to the sons of men! Psalm 107:19-21 (New American Standard Bible)

For any who have read my devotionals over the course of the last year or so, you have been aware of an ongoing battle in my life. While I have not given specific details it was quite apparent that I was struggling to possess victory in this area. My days were marked with guilt for failure, shame for a stronghold, frustration that freedom eluded me, and an endless trail of self effort and self reformation. I knew a lot of truth and shared it freely on a daily basis. But the bottom line was that I had yet to fully embrace that truth and see it change me at the very center of my being. To make matters worse, I had no idea why this was the case for me.

Yesterday, God showed me what I was missing all along. He made it clear to me that while I had cried out for His deliverance many times, I had failed to believe that He had done it! After my prayers were ended I would pick myself up and immediately work to bring about the change I so desired. My bondage was emotional dependency on others and I tried countless ways to over come it. I read books, I talked to friends, I sought professional counseling, I began attending meetings for Adult Children of Alcoholics, I listened to music, I rid my home of all the things that connected me to a significant person, and I finally bought into the lie that this is just the way I will always be and I must learn to guard myself in order to not form any future emotional ties to people. While I knew in my head that Jesus had come to set the captives free, I accepted the distorted version of truth that I would have to remain a prisoner.

That was the case until yesterday morning when God whispered to my spirit these words…”Pam, I have already healed you of your emotional dependency. I did it the moment you asked. But you have not claimed my healing and therefore have not been living out of it. Instead you have been living deceived. Receive what I have done and walk in the freedom that is yours.” The moment I embraced His words and acknowledged my healing, the power of emotional dependency was broken! I have finally come to own what was already mine and I have not stopped thanking God for it.

Father, thank you for each person who lifted me up in prayer and desired to see me walk in the truth and freedom they knew You offered. Having known the experience of being a captive makes me more appreciative of my freedom. I dance in delight of my deliverance. Amen.

No Longer a Sitting Duck

Be well balanced (temperate, sober of mind), be vigilant and cautious at all times, for the enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour. 1 Peter 5:8 (Amplified Bible)

In Hind’s Feet on High Places, Much-Afraid is warned not to allow her cousin, Craven Fear, to paint a picture on the screen of her imagination. The same warning applies to each of us when it comes to an area of attack by our enemy, Satan. I find that the most frequently attacked place in my life is in my mind….my thoughts.

I have been awake for about 40 minutes. I spent the first half hour listening to some music on the radio. Christian music! And already the enemy was attempting to paint many scenes on the canvas of my mind. Although the sun has not yet risen on this day, the battle is on and I have determined to not let him succeed in his attempt to walk me down the spiraling staircase of despair, discouragement, and doubt. I have already put on God’s armor which is listed in Ephesians 6 and the moment I recognize the enemy’s introduction of thoughts I take action. For I have come to realize while all negative, shaming, condemning, harmful thoughts are introduced by him, it is my choice whether to believe and dwell on them or renounce them as lies, caste them down, and walk in the truth and light of God’s Word.

Yesterday was a different story. I did not stay vigilant, cautious, and alert to the schemes of the enemy. For as soon as I stopped rejecting his thoughts and started dwelling on them I lost the battle. I raised no shield of faith. I wielded no sword of the Spirit. I put up no resistance. It was like I had propped open the door to my mind and allowed him to bring in whatever thoughts he chose. The result was glee for him and despair for me! But I have a faithful God who desires that I learn from it. Through a friend, I was reminded that the negative, condemning thoughts ALWAYS come from the enemy and it is my responsibility to stop him through prayer, Scripture, taking thoughts captive, and fleshing out Philippians 4:8. That realization awakened in me a desire to fight. I am not to be a sitting duck on the battle field. I am a warrior child of the King of kings! I have armor and weapons to use. I know who my enemy is and I am aware of what he has been doing. It is now my choice to stand up to him with the authority God has given me and walk in victory with my head held high. It will not stop his attacks but it will make it harder for him to be successful!

Father, I stand in agreement with You on who my enemy is and how he is to be fought. May I no longer allow him access to my mind or entertain the thoughts he introduces. Help me to stand guard, use the weapons of warfare, and walk in victory. Amen.

Hearing His Answers

Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass. I Thessalonians 5:24 (New American Standard Bible)

There are times I approach God’s Word with more questions than answers. My mindsets and patterns of thought can often be a hindrance to me. For the past few days I have struggled to grasp the concept of what is meant by God’s call. I can’t seem to wrap my mind around it and maybe that is because I have an idea of what I think His call would look like and thus I limit the size and scope of it.

I review the individuals in Scripture who had clear calls on their life. Moses was called to lead the children of Israel out of Egypt. Joseph was called to preserve the life of a nation and God’s people during a famine. Esther was called to be a queen. Paul was called to take the gospel message to the gentiles and to write most of the New Testament. Jonah was called to deliver a message to the people of Nineveh. David was called to be king of Israel and the writer of the Psalms. Joshua was called to lead the children of Israel into the promised land. The list goes on and on. Callings. Specific assignments and life purposes. Chosen and equipped by God to carry out His plans and purposes.

This review brings me to some interesting conclusions. None of these individuals had a full picture of all God’s call would entail. Specific details were not always forth coming. It was often a day by day moment by moment leading. Obedience was necessary as was listening to God. Many were the times they felt ill prepared or ill equipped to fulfill the call but in the end they did it and they knew it was only by God’s grace. God’s call often included persecution, trials, and heartaches. The very prophets God called were often misunderstood and their messages resisted.

So this morning, I will take my questions and my confusion to God and let Him put my mind and my spirit at ease. Already He has begun to redirect my focus and my words. While I want to know WHAT His call on my life is, He wants me to know Him as the One who is calling me and the One who will bring that calling to pass. His call is not a one time event but rather a life time journey. To my question of “What is it I am called to do?” His answer is always, “Follow Me.” There will not always be specific details given but in His time and in His own way He will make clear the steps I am to take.

Father, You see the questions that line my face and heart. You detect the misunderstanding behind my words. I take comfort in the truth that You have called me and You will bring it to pass. May I hear those words often today. Amen.

Do It Yourself

Awake, awake, clothe yourself in your strength….clothe yourself in your beautiful garments…..shake yourself from the dust, rise up…..loose yourself from the chains around your neck, O captive daughter. Isaiah 52:1-2 (New American Standard Bible)

I am struck with the repetition of the word “yourself” in this passage. It has the slogan “just do it” written all over the place! The imperatives abound…awake, clothe yourself, shake yourself, loose yourself. Because I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me, I can actually do what these verses advocate.

I picture someone sitting in a dark cell, dressed in rags, covered with dust, and wearing chains around her neck. She is being held captive but freedom is available and actually within her grasp. God Himself pleads with her to get up and out of her own dungeon! As the truth hits her and she accepts the challenge she will walk in freedom and victory.

I have come to realize I have a choice. I am equipped with every thing I need to live the Christian life victoriously. But for decades I lived as a pauper among the riches God offered. Instead of loosing myself from chains, I waited for people to do it for me. I looked to others to cheer me up, encourage me, counsel me, and advise me. Never realizing I possessed those qualities myself in Christ. I find such freedom in Christ to do things for myself now.

Let me share just one way this works. It is easy to give in to negative thoughts. Be they thoughts of discouragement, loneliness, rejection, pity, etc… if allowed they can take me to places of despair. I look at discouragement as an actual person who seeks to tie me up and drag me off to a dungeon of despair. But I have learned I have a choice in the matter. I can choose to be taken or I can resist! I can come against him with Scripture and the truth. He’ll flee at my rebuke! I must rebuke, renounce, and reject all attempts of this enemy to get any entrance into my mind and soul.

The simple truth is this…if I don’t take my thoughts captive they will hold ME captive. And they are ruthless captors. May I see them as defeated foes each time they come to imprison me.

Father, You long to show me the unnecessary captivities I allow. Thank you for reminding me I not only have a choice but I possess the power to fight my would-be captors. I choose freedom! Amen.

No Longer Separated

But your iniquities have separated you from your God; and your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear. Isaiah 59:2 (New King James Version)

So there I stood with my decisions made and feeling I was able to do some things I really wanted to do. That sense of well being lasted a couple hours until I began to notice some distance between God and me. What I wanted so badly was not His desire for me and the sense of His withdrawal was both evident and painful. I had a choice….hold on to my will or exchange it for His will. I will not revisit the many times I chose the first, for it never turned out well. But I will say, I have been on this journey long enough to know nothing (absolutely nothing) is worth more than close, intimate fellowship with my Heavenly Father. I have also been on this journey long enough to know that God is always ready and willing to forgive the wrong choices I make. He received my words, my tears, and my repentance. Even before I could act upon what I knew I had to do, His forgiveness was extended and received. Reconciliation is a wonderful part of being His child!

I want to make something very clear. The things I had decided to do were not sin in themselves, but they were sinful choices in that they were not God’s will for me. He has certain things He is doing in my life and a specific journey He has me on. In order to be the beneficiary of both those things I must embrace His will at all times and at all costs. When I place His will and opinion second to anything I am in the wrong. And according to Isaiah, that will be enough to separate me from Him as well as cause Him to hide His face from me and close His ears to me. As His child I will be able to tell when that has taken place and there will be no rest or peace until I return to Him. My salvation is not lost but the intimacy and communion are!

I do not want to lose the sensitivity His Spirit has birthed in me. At the first sign of His withdrawal I want it to be enough to get my attention and cooperation. How I thank Him that each time I stray He chooses to redirect my steps and my eyes back in His direction. Today I have tasted the bitter fruit of disobedience and the precious fruit of reconciliation. I walk satisfied!

Father, closeness to You is what I crave! Thank you that all barriers to that closeness are easily removed by Your grace. Amen.

Standing Firm

It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1 (New American Standard Bible)

A pastor friend in Canada shared this verse with me last night via email. I didn’t read it until this morning and the message within this verse is different for me than it has been in past readings. In the past, I would have seen this verse as a warning not to be re-enslaved to legalism and performance in my Christian life. But today my “yoke of slavery” has more to do with the opinions of others or rather my constant need to know what others are thinking of me or my plans.

I have spent so many years running ideas past people and desiring to know their opinion that taking steps and moving forward were often limited or hindered by my uncertainties and insecurities. I thought more highly of another person’s ability to direct my steps than in my ability to search a matter out with God. I made decisions based on what they said should or shouldn’t happen. While the Bible clearly encourages us to seek wise counsel, it can become off balanced if we are not discerning. If my seeking is driven by my own weaknesses and phobias than I am not walking by faith. I am walking by fear, frustration, and doubt but not by faith.

God has certainly placed people in my life as encouragers, comforters, and guides, but He never intended for them to be the primary sources in any of those areas. He is to be the primary source and they are simply His conduits!

The past couple of days have been an opportunity for me to make some decisions without consulting people. Even my Canadian pastor friend was not given specifics as to a decision I would ultimately make. And what came of the decisions? I don’t fully know yet. But I do know this, the decisions were between God and me and that in itself gives me a wonderful sense of strength and freedom. I sensed my spirit muscles develop a little more and a smile of peace graces my face this morning. As I choose to live outside my “yoke of slavery” I realize some decisions will be wise and some will be unwise, but just as I learned as a young child to walk amidst many falls, so I will learn this kind of walk as well.

Father, no one desires victory in my Christian life more than You! Therefore, I stand in the confidence that You will be my faithful Guide and Companion. Amen.