Monday, February 26, 2007

Pin-pointing My Need for Change


For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy. II Timothy 3:2

God’s lists are always interesting to read. If I ask Him, He will reveal to me the specific item in a list that I need to see within myself. While this particular list holds a number of such revelations, one in particular stands out to me this morning. Unthankfulness! How many of my attitudes, actions, and words can be traced to this culprit? I need look no farther than the very things I find myself grumbling and complaining about. My mother often told me that it is only possible to think of one thing at a time. She was right! I can focus on the things with which I am dissatisfied, unhappy, uncomfortable, and angry. Or I can set my mind on the many benefits and gifts God has bestowed upon me daily.

I look back at the children of Israel and am struck by the number of times they gave in to murmuring and complaining. It was not pretty or acceptable to God then and it is not pretty or acceptable to God now. While we are certainly encouraged to bring our sorrows, pain, and misery to Him, we are never given permission to allow it to govern our thinking, consume our lives, or become our predominate characteristic. It is not so much an area of circumstances or personality. It is a choosing of whether or not I will walk in obedience and cooperation with God.

So what is it that breeds and feeds this spirit of unthankfulness? Playing the comparison game. Comparing what others have to what I have or don’t have. Determining what it is I think I should have in this life…..living with an air of entitlement. Amnesia to all the things God has graciously given me and done for me. Pride, self-absorption, idolatry, and insecurities.

I could look at these thoughts and very easily be tempted to start a cycle of condemnation and self loathing. But the foundational truth I continue to hold on to is that God reveals inner truths to me in order to show me the places in me that need His touch. It is like He is saying, “Here’s the problem. Now come to me for the healing, the restoring, the transforming.” If I take Him up on His offer I will walk in freedom and wholeness. If I refuse His offer I will own shame, weakness, and defeat.

Father, thank you for an offer that is too good to pass up. Change me. Amen.