The Possibility of Forgetting

Joseph named the firstborn Manasseh, "For," he said, "God has made me forget all my trouble and all my father's household." He named the second Ephraim, "For," he said, "God has made me fruitful in the land of my affliction." Genesis 41:51, 52 (New American Standard Bible)

The naming of Joseph’s son gave voice to the truths he had come to embrace. I don’t know how long he harbored painful memories of loss and betrayal. I don’t know how often thoughts of his father and the ache of missing him consumed him. I don’t know how frequently his brothers’ actions and attitudes against him reopened wounds of sorrow, anger, and frustration. Yet at some point, Joseph came to the realization that those things no longer hung over his life, clouded his days, or colored his perspective. By the time his sons were born he had truly moved on with his life. No longer dwelling on the past but rather enjoying the beauty of the present. Joseph’s story refreshes my spirit. It reminds me that emotional healing takes time but is possible. It redirects my thinking toward what God is doing. It assures me that God can do the same in me that He did in Joseph.

Although I am not fully there yet, I rejoice in what progress has been made. The enemy of my soul knows this as well and doesn’t give up easily. As recent as yesterday thoughts came that had but one purpose…..to discourage me. My mind began thinking back on painful memories and profound losses. Each minute spent dwelling on those things caused the dull ache inside to grow. When I would fight the thoughts with truth, thanksgiving, and praise their effect and hold lessened. When I gave in to them and fed off them the darkness resurfaced. It doesn’t take long for me to realize when the thinking is once again off track, because it is accompanied by grief, heartache, condemnation, and hopelessness. At the same time, thinking on what is right and truthful is accompanied by peace, restfulness, and strength. It is as profound as switching on the lights in a darkened room.

I don’t know how close I am to being able to say, “God, you have made me to forget my trouble and you have made me fruitful in the place of my affliction,” but it no longer seems like an impossibility. It is no longer a question of “if” God will deliver me from rampant emotions, but rather “when.”

I take that thought with me into a weekend that includes attending a women’s conference in Crown Point, Indiana. God has been preparing me to hear something I have not been able to hear up to this point. I am not sure what it is yet but I am filled with anticipation and expectation.

Father, I sense Your continued work in my life and in that I rejoice! Amen.

Desert Song - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrJuFmuAGo4

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Continuing in Freedom

Thus says the LORD, the God of Israel, “Cursed is the man who does not heed the words of this covenant which I commanded your forefathers in the day that I brought them out of the land of Egypt, from the iron furnace, saying, ‘Listen to My voice, and do according to all which I command you, so you shall be My people, and I will be your God.’ Jeremiah 11:3,4 (New American Standard Bible)

When God brought the children of Israel out of the ‘iron furnace’ of Egypt it was not the end of their story….it was merely the beginning. He brought them out of bondage to teach them how to live in freedom. True freedom comes through obedience and connection with God, not living independent of Him. Seeing their own captivity and being freed from it was wonderful but if they did not continue to listen to God and do what He said they would enter a worse bondage… a self imposed bondage. They would become captives of their own passions, sin natures, and ungodly bents. To read the history of Israel is often like looking into a prophet mirror at ourselves.

Like Israel, my freedom comes in stages. I must be aware of where I am in bondage. What are the mindsets that prevent me from living in complete freedom? What are the addictions, habits, and beliefs that keep my soul locked up? As I identify them, I desire freedom. But desire alone is not what sets me free. My journey to freedom begins and continues as I learn to listen to God and embrace what He tells me. I must acknowledge the truth and live out of that truth.

As I allow Him, God shows me the causes and effects of my personal areas of bondage. I am daily seeing the connection between present circumstances and past events. Because my view of life and God was skewed early on, it affects the way I interpret things today. For me, the biggest area this has impacted is with relationships. I have spent decades looking at relationships through a faulty grid and the result has often been painful. What I desire from others and what I am able to give to others is distorted unless I allow God to bring things into right focus. It becomes a time of exchanges. Exchanging truth for lies and freedom for bondage. The renewing of my mind through Scripture is leading to transformation of my heart and resulting in a change of my words, actions, and thoughts. The freedom I am seeking is only found in cooperation with and trust in my Abba Father.

Sometimes this process is accompanied by individuals God brings into my life but often it is taking place one on one with Himself. He wisely determines which it will be. I profit the most when I trust what He is doing, heed what He says, embrace what He reveals, and obey what He requires. It all comes from His heart of love and in that I rest!

Father, I desire liberty of my heart, soul, and mind. Continue to show me my own captivities and what will lead me to freedom. Amen.

Made Me Glad - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0Zc_VWJJoI&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

What to do With the Toxic Thoughts

Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. Colossians 3:2 (New American Standard Bible)

My mother would often say, “You can only think of one thing at a time.” She was right! God’s Word is filled with verses that speak of the importance of meditating on the right things. Today’s verse is one such example. It not only has the idea of focus but also of coming into agreement with. Since a multitude of thoughts play out in my mind daily, it is imperative that I keep them aligned with God and His eternal perspective. There is more to life than merely those things I can experience with my five senses. In the midst of anything I see, feel, or experience, there is a heavenly realm that must be taken into consideration. I must learn to see the whole picture instead of just my limited point of view.

Last night afforded me an opportunity to practice setting my mind on things above. It came in the form of disappointment that someone was given the opportunity to do something I am longing to do but am not able to do at present. I found myself battling thoughts of jealousy as well as feelings of being over looked AGAIN! Fear abounded that God might never open the door for me to serve in THAT capacity. They were self-consuming, self- centered, self-condemning thoughts and they were toxic for all of 10 minutes. That is when I made a conscious decision to review truth and allow it to set me free.

What was the truth I reviewed? God is in control of my life. He has plans for me that He will fulfill. I can trust Him to use me in the ways He chooses at the times He chooses and for the purposes He chooses. He knows what He is doing in each ministry opportunity. I have not been over looked but rather His eyes and attention are constantly on me. My freedom comes in acknowledging God’s right to say where I am to be, what I am to be doing, and how I am to be doing it. He sets the agenda. He maps out the course. He guides and directs. His plans and thoughts are higher than my own.

Do I still have desires and wishes? Absolutely! But they are being laid at the foot of the cross with a heart of submission to and acceptance of what God wants for me. I don’t want to live my life honed in on what I cannot do but rather on all that He allows me TO do. He may still choose to have me serve Him in the place I desire to serve, but it will have to be on His time table. If it never comes about then it was not part of His best for me. I am not being neglected or ignored. I am being loved, cherished, and led by the Lover of my soul!

Father, You know my heart’s desires. As I set my affections on things above, change what needs to be changed, solidify what needs to be solidified, and accomplish Your will for me. Amen.

God Is In Control - Twila Paris
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQHlKc8DrB4&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Knowing the Truth About Ourselves

But Peter said to Him, "Even though all may fall away because of You, I will never fall away." Jesus said to him, "Truly I say to you that this very night, before a rooster crows, you will deny Me three times." Peter said to Him, "Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You." All the disciples said the same thing too. Matthew 26:33-35 (New American Standard Bible)

Like Peter, we can often state, in a moment of strength, lofty thoughts that come back to bite us in weak moments. Peter had plans to stick with the Lord no matter what. He spoke with passion…runaway passion. He truly meant what he said but he said it grossly underestimating the strength of his own weaknesses. In his stronger moment, he could not imagine that the circumstances of life could have the effect on him of which Jesus warned him. Peter learned the hard way of just how human he was. Everything he said would happen, didn’t, and everything he said wouldn’t happened, did. I believe this incident forever changed his view of how vulnerable he was in this world and where his true strength had to lie.

I am learning to watch myself in my strong moments. When life is going well and I am owning an attitude that I can handle certain things I can often forget how close I am to stumbling. As scenarios play over and over again in my life and I see the effects remaining the same I am taking notice. If I keep repeating the same thing and getting the same painful result it is time I make a decision to avoid that particular action.

I have two weaknesses that come to mind and I am learning to guard myself better when it comes to them. There are certain foods that will trigger an eating binge with me. Partaking of them always leads to the same result. Hence, I KNOW if I start the result will not be pretty. No matter how strong I may feel and how sure I am that I can control those foods, the truth of the matter is I can’t. I am wise to avoid them.

There are also areas in relationships that tend to bring about the same results for me. There are certain people who hold too strong of a position in my life. If I contact them via emails, phone calls, or letters, and do not hear back from them I am crushed. As much as I don’t want this to be the case, my perceptions run wild and negativity sets in toward them and myself. In strong moments I may think I can handle not hearing from them, but I make a mistake when I allow those thoughts to persuade me to try one more contact. The scenario has played out too many times. My head may tell me the legitimate reasons for their lack of communication but my emotions spiral. So knowing this, the wise thing for me to do is resist the temptation to be in contact. I have had to see the truth of my weakness during times when I don’t even feel weak. Knowing myself is an important part of walking in victory.

Father, help me to see the truth about what controls me. If the result will be over indulgence or emotional suicide, help me to avoid the pitfall. I want to walk in wisdom and freedom. Amen.

I Surrender All - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7x2IpLSfqp8&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Asking for Prayer

I urge you, brothers, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to join me in my struggle by praying to God for me. Romans 15:30 (New International Version)

Paul had no trouble requesting others to pray for him. It wasn’t that he felt his prayers were not good enough or effective enough but he knew the power of multiple prayers being lifted on his behalf. As he faced prison, persecution, personal failures, and fears he was strengthened by the prayers of others and in turn prayed for others for the things they faced as well.

Prayer support is one of the many privileges and benefits of being in God’s family. It is usually one of the first responses we voice when someone has shared with us a difficulty in their life. When the storms of life hit, prayer is our life line that keeps our head above water with its hope, security, and comfort. The older I get, the more I value the prayers of others and no longer take them lightly.

I know this to be true and yet how well am I doing at requesting prayer during emotionally difficult times? Or times when I am facing personal temptations that I don’t even want to admit I are a struggle for me? Last week, I went through a dark season. People could see it and they indeed were praying for me, yet I was not doing well at actually sharing the struggle with them or the specifics of what I needed the prayers for. I was resistant to admit what had brought on the spiral and the thoughts that kept pulling me downward. Why? Embarrassment and shame….two effective tools the enemy of my soul is very good at using. Looking back now I realize if I had opened up to those I could trust, they would have been able to be more specific in their prayers and the darkness would have ended sooner. As hard as it would have been, as uncomfortable as it would have felt, admitting the truth would have been my first step for freedom and strength.

God used a situation last night to help me see the need to request specific prayer at the on set of struggles. I could sense a temptation coming on that I knew would pull me down if I gave in to it. Before the temptation gained strength or momentum, I called a friend, shared the specifics, and we prayed immediately. The result? This morning the temptation no longer looms over my horizon. So I am asking myself, will the next emotional battle be fought more effectively if I follow the same strategy? Will I see deliverance and victory more powerfully demonstrated as I confide in those whom I know care and will pray? I believe I will and I am asking God to give me the grace, wisdom, and fortitude to so!

Father, break down the resistance in me for sharing honestly and openly with the prayer partners in my life. Help me to set aside the fears, apprehensions, and perceptions that often stop me from voicing my prayer needs to others. Help me to get real! Amen.

I Will Pray for You - Katherine Jenkins
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ju8cy0O4S8U&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Choosing the Good Part

But the Lord answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41, 42 (New American Standard Bible)

Jesus’ words to Martha were timely and timeless. They followed an invitation into her home and preparations of a meal. In the midst of her “service” for Him, He pin-points an area in her life that needs a reality check. While her hospitality was commendable it was filled with distraction, worry, and bother. I picture her with frayed nerves and ever rising frustration. She reached out for the one thing she thought would be her answer for ease. She asked the Lord to give her the help of her sister. Instead, the Lord gave her an example to follow. Jesus wanted her to see there was a difference between inviting Him into her home and spending time with Him. Martha had a choice to make. Become offended by His answer or learn from it.

Many of us have been where Martha was. Busy “doing” for our Lord with very little “being” with our Lord. Activity fills our life with very little time to sit at His feet and listen to His words to us. While we have the religion of Christianity down pat, we flounder at the relationship aspect. How do you know when that is the case for you?

There is a lack of joy in what you are doing. You house critical attitudes toward others. Your inner world is filled with turmoil and frustration. You feel disconnected from intimately knowing Him. You are on a high mode rather than a rest mode. You sense you have lost a necessary balance in your life. Your activities have left you with very little time to be in the Word or in prayer. When it is all said and done the emptiness is profound.

The answer? Ask God to show you the truth and how to choose the good part of spending time with Him. Not just moments in the morning, but practicing His presence and hearing His voice throughout the day. Give up the “list” for lessons at His feet. Ask Him to make the “doing” an out growth of “being” with Him.

If what you have read today, strikes a chord with you, I understand, for I have been there. Three decades of doing! I found a place at His feet nearly six years ago and now know the preciousness of the good part….it’s Him! It hasn’t left me with nothing to do but rather has impacted and energized me while I do it.

Father, You have engaged my heart once again. May being in Your presence continue to be my passion and place. Amen.

Heart of Worship - Matt Redman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZgPPmtZgS4

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Not Getting What We Want

So Ahab went home, sullen and angry because Naboth the Jezreelite had said, “I will not give you the inheritance of my fathers.” He lay on his bed sulking and refused to eat. I Kings 21:4 (New International Version)

Ahab had requested to buy a vineyard from Naboth. Because this vineyard was his family inheritance, Naboth refused to give it up. He was right in his decision. But Ahab did not want to hear the word no. He went to his room and refused comfort and food. His air of entitlement and thoughts that life should always go his way are what ruled his heart….and hence his actions. His tears would not be dried and food would not be his companion until his wife, Jezebel, had Naboth put to death and the vineyard finally became his. God saw this as Ahab selling himself to do evil and pronounced a death sentence upon him. In the end, I have to wonder if Ahab still considered it all worth it.

This passage becomes a wake up call to me. If I have a teachable spirit, God will cause His Word to pinpoint areas in my life whereby I must guard against having an Ahab response to the disappointments of life. My expectations can run deep when it comes to relationships, occupations, opportunities, possessions, and personal goals. If I am focused on immediate gratification instead of eternal value, the set backs, obstacles, refusals, and closed doors will trigger an Ahab response in me. I will become very self focused, sulk, and complain within myself. I will lose site of others and the kingdom work that needs to be done. I will somehow convince myself that I am insignificant and things will never get any better. Misery, tears, and anger will mark my path and life will be far from the way God purposed it to be for me.

What does my Father do at that point? Allows me to experience enough pain from my “fit” to drive me back into His arms for restoration, comfort, and renewal. Humility and submission open the door for me to once again realize God’s love and involvement in my life. He is too loving to let me have all the things I want. His extravagance is in the area of giving me what is for my good and His glory. He knows I will not always understand but my the delight He has when I simply trust Him. What joy and peace are mine when I give to Him the confusion, disappointment, and heartaches.

It will always come down to what I believe about God’s character. Do I believe He loves me, has the best intentions for me, and is bringing about His chosen plan and purpose for me? If the answer is “yes” then I will begin seeing “no” as a loving response from Him rather than an act of cruelty. I will rest instead of resist.

Father, show me my Ahab ways. Teach me the ways of Your Spirit. Your gifts abound if I will but open my hands to receive them. Amen.

In The Potters Hand - Hillsong (HQ sound)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=6beNoG0H0E0&feature=related

I welcome your questions and comments to any devotional thoughts. I am honored and delighted to share my journey with you and privileged to hear of yours.