Carried or Clinging?

And a man who had been lame from his mother's womb was being carried along, whom they used to set down every day at the gate of the temple which is called Beautiful, in order to beg alms of those who were entering the temple….While he was clinging to Peter and John, all the people ran together to them at the so-called portico of Solomon, full of amazement. Acts 3:2, 11 (New American Standard Bible)

This lame man’s story grips my heart today. I relate all too well with his disposition. Unable to walk, he is carried by others out of necessity. We have all been there at one time or another. Maybe not in the physical sense but maybe in the spiritual or emotional sense. Times in our life when we needed the assistance of another person to come to our aid and carry us until we were able to move on our own again. Maybe this lame man thought he would forever be carried. No hope for healing. No hope for change. Yet his healing did come and the change was profound. His carriers were no longer necessary. I am sure both sides felt the joy of ended roles.

Yet nine verses later, this same man (now able to leap, stand, and walk) is found clinging to Peter and John….the ones God used to bring about his healing. Why? It was not that he needed their help to continue to walk. He was doing that and more on his own. Could it be that he (like us) became enamored with the vessels God used? Did he feel a need to stay connected to them even after their purpose in his life had been fulfilled? Was it that he knew other areas in his life were in need of healing and felt he needed them in order for those healings to take place? Did he limit God’s ability to continue to work in his life without those God used presently? While I do not know if those were the issues playing out that day in the life of a former lame man, I do know they are what tend to play out in my own life and the lives of others.

Today, I am once again reviewing the difference between legitimate needs and perceived necessity. When am I being helped out of necessity and when am I refusing to let go out of fear and skewed thinking? God has used and will continue to use significant people in my life but I still need to learn how to receive their help without becoming a clinger. I need to fully embrace David’s words when he said, I saw the Lord constantly before me, for He is at my right hand that I may not be shaken or overthrown or cast down [from my secure and happy state]. To see God as my Source who chooses out of love to use the very people that He uses during specific times in my life. May I learn to cling to Him and appreciate fully the ones He sends.

Father, my need of You is clearly seen each time I desperately hold on to others. Teach me to leap, stand, and walk hand in hand with You! Amen.

You Are My All in All
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1NUehahL0U&NR=1

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

Finding My Confidence

Do not be afraid of sudden fear nor of the onslaught of the wicked when it comes; for the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught. Proverbs 3:25, 26 (New American Standard Bible)

Fear takes hold of us when we think about a future event, perceive the outcome of that event, and react to what we believe is going to take place. We don’t fear the past because we already know what happened. We don’t fear the present because it is right in front of us. We fear the unknown. Within that context I have come to see my two greatest fears are of loss and failure. Loss of anything or anyone I hold dear. Failure to live differently than I have in the past. The fear is often accompanied by feelings of darkness, despair, despondency, and discouragement. It is like having a wet blanket wrapped tightly around my mind and soul.

The question becomes in who or what is my confidence resting? If it is in myself, another person, things not changing, or any number of things I can control or desire to control, that confidence will be shaky and unreliable at best. The people and possessions in my life come with no guarantees and I often want guarantees. I want to know that I can count on the important things and relationships not changing. There is no peace and joy in such wishing. It brings about a restlessness of thoughts and emotions. It depletes me of energy and enthusiasm. So on whom should I place my confidence, trust, and reliance? God!

Scripture is full of doing just that. Today’s verse speaks of God being my confidence and protection. Confidence comes as I see God as my Helper (Hebrews 13:6), as the Finisher of the work He has started in me (Philippians 1:6), as the Supplier of all my needs (Philippians 4:19), as the Worker-outer of all things for my good (Romans 8:28), as the One who will never leave me or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5).

On a practical level, I can be confident that God will wisely and lovingly intersect my world with people whom He will use to help me on my journey. Fear of them leaving is over-come by recognizing Who really determines the times and seasons of each relationship. I can be confident that God is willing and able to give me victory in areas of my life that have only known defeat. Fear of failure is overcome by acknowledging that my past does not define me…God does!

Father, where I walk in doubt and fear birth in me a boldness and confidence in You! Amen.

My Life Is In You, Lord - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0M0NALW7EM&feature=PlayList&p=B72B181C3BB024FD&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=49

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

No One But You

Then Asa called to the LORD his God and said, “LORD, there is no one besides You to help in the battle between the powerful and those who have no strength; so help us, O LORD our God, for we trust in You, and in Your name have come against this multitude. O LORD, You are our God; let not man prevail against You.” 2 Chronicles 14:11 (New American Standard Bible)

God is working to bring each of us to the point of voicing Asa’s words to Him, “Lord, there is no one besides You to help.” We voice those words when all that we have trusted in is removed, when all that we possess is worthless, when all our strength is gone, when we stand with helplessness and hopelessness written over our situation and life. When we come to the point where we finally admit that no one but God can help us we are opening a door to growth and maturity in our faith. As long as we have anyone or anything to lean upon besides God, we will not embrace the truth that He is the only one who can help.

Asa was facing a battle of great proportion. He and his people had just been through ten years of rest from enemy attacks and now an army that is one million strong is descending upon them. Who but God could deliver and protect in such a time? Former allies are no where to be found. The story of deliverance is remarkable and well worth the time it takes to read in 2 Chronicles 14.

There will be times when the very people you have looked to for answers, guidance, and encouragement will be far removed from your life. Times when you become a wandering, solitary pilgrim in what seems like very unfamiliar territory. At first, fear and despair might mark your days. You might feel you have lost your compass and life jacket in the midst of a wilderness experience or storm of life. Know this, God is inviting you to a time of seeking Him and relying upon Him. If He is presently weaning you off or abruptly severing any source who has been used greatly in your walk with Him, it is because He is wooing you to enter a higher level of living with Himself. Up until this point people have been a gift from Him to you. If you allow Him to take you through this transition you will never be the same and neither will your journey. Once the transition is made there will still be people in your life but the relationships with them will be forever changed. Although they will still bring joy and encouragement into your life you will begin to seek God’s face, guidance, and counsel more than you will theirs. You will walk with a confidence and strength that you have not known up to this point. You will know the joy of intimacy with God on a level that has eluded you for so long. I stand with excitement over where God is about to take you and what He is about to do in you!

Father, complete the transformation in me. Amen.

Jesus, Lover of My Soul - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dD-ZdMOx_HY&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

That Which Causes a Shift

Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, "So may the gods do to me and even more, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by tomorrow about this time." And he was afraid and arose and ran for his life and came to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there. 1 Kings 19:2-3 (New American Standard Bible)

I have often been fascinated by the fact that a threat from a woman was all it took for Elijah to be overcome with fear. Elijah! The one who had just stood against Ahab and 400 Baal worshippers. Elijah! The one who saw his prayer for fire from heaven answered in a dramatic way. Elijah! The one who personally heard the voice of God on numerous occasions. Elijah! The one who was used of God to perform many miracles. Yet none of that allowed him to withstand the onslaught of fear. In time, he once again walked with boldness but for a short season he walked in fear.

Ever notice that it doesn’t take much to open an emotional door in our life and experience being over-taken by anger, fear, anxiety, sadness, loneliness, or a host of other feelings? At times it seems to come out of nowhere and yet when it hits it is very apparent. Many of my worst moments have such insignificant beginnings that I am often too embarrassed to admit what triggered the feelings. If asked, my thoughts are usually that it is bad enough that I am even in the mood let alone having to go through the shame of admitting the childish reaction that set it off. While I may be slow in admitting what it is, I usually have no trouble knowing the exact moment and thing that brought about the internal shift. Even so, the conversation can take on the look of a dance as I side-step the issue and generalize my answer. Change is needed in all aspects.

I take comfort in the fact that God knew how to draw out an honest answer from Elijah and He knew the truth that Elijah needed to hear. Elijah felt he was the only one left standing for God and that perception became fodder in which to plant the seeds of fear in his heart. Discouragement was his breeding ground and it can be ours as well. God let him know he was not alone…many others had not left their faith. Once Elijah had some rest, some food, and some truth he was ready to move forward.

While I am learning the process of moving forward after each failure, my heart’s desire is that I find victory in the midst of an onslaught. That I experience the stronghold weakening rather than gaining strength. That I would stand in confidence that God will bring me to such a place.

Father, You’ve said that all things are possible if I will believe. I believe, Lord, help my unbelief. Help me to allow You to do what You long to do in me. Amen.

By Grace Alone - Maranatha Singers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6lhilgWXIE&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

A Right Response

Then Jesus said to His disciples, If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. Matthew 16:24 (New American Standard Bible)

Feeling like I have lost control of a number of areas in my life can often cause me to go into a default mode in my thinking and behavior. This morning found me wondering how to get back on track with my life without taking the usual routes. Fearful of failing I often want to back away from anything that would challenge me or expose my imperfections. So in the midst of such thinking I asked God to help me begin to break the cycle of destructive thought patterns and conduct. To do something besides spiral into a pit and pull away from this week’s activities. He brought today’s verse to mind and then He honed in on one phrase within this verse…..”he must deny himself.”

At first glance it meant to tell myself no. When I want to eat in an unhealthy and unbalanced way I must say no. When I want to dwell on negative, condemning thoughts I must say no. When I want to stay to myself and avoid others I must say no. When I want to procrastinate on cleaning my house or balancing my checkbook I must say no. When I want to make someone besides God my primary source I must say no. When I want to spiral into a dark pit I must say no. When I want to do anything that would hinder or halt my spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, or social growth I must say no. Then finding the opposite of all those temptations is what I must say yes to.

I knew saying no was part of denying myself but I needed a bigger picture. A more profound definition to grab a hold of. A tool I often use to find the original meaning of a word is www.studylight.org. What I found there for the word deny is the very step I need to take and that I need to continue to take throughout today and into all of my tomorrows. Simply put, deny means “to forget one's self, lose sight of one's self and one's own interests.” In other words, get my eyes off myself and begin living outside of my default modes.

I will be the first to admit, this is a stretch for me. I am so use to dissecting my life, feelings, and thoughts until I am consumed by them. The end result is never peace but rather discord and confusion. It is no mistake that God chose to put denying oneself before taking up ones cross and following Him. It shows me where to start and which direction I am to head.

Father, at a time when I want to say yes to all that would be wrong for me, help me to say no and move forward in the direction You desire for me. With each no my voice will get louder and stronger. I trust You to increase the volume. Amen.

With All I Am - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMrAafe7Mns

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

An Oak of Shechem

So they gave Jacob all the foreign gods they had and the rings in their ears, and Jacob buried them under the oak at Shechem. Genesis 35:4 (New International Version)

When the children of Israel had made a golden calf and proceeded to worship it, Moses ground it to powder, scattered it on the water, and made the children of Israel drink it. When Jacob was handed the objects of false worship he buried them under an oak tree. Both actions represented a distinct closure of wrong turns and the opportunity to start fresh. Both actions showed in a tangible way a funeral of sorts.

My point is this. Sometimes an end of something has to be drastic in order for the door of freedom to open. Hence, the need for alcoholics to pour liquor down a drain, for individuals to burn piles of pornographic literature, for smokers to destroy and discard packs of cigarettes, and for other addicts to do whatever it takes to break free of their addiction. They go beyond getting rid of it or just giving it to someone else. They destroy what seeks to destroy them.

A month ago, I opened myself up to an area of addiction. It wasn’t wrong in and of itself. As a matter of fact, at one time it was a beneficial part of my journey. But that beneficial part eventually became an addiction and had to be removed from my life. Over the course of a year or so I sensed within me a strength to reintroduce part of it back into my life through a couple of avenues including the purchase of a book. That action was enough to throw me off track on a journey intended to bring me to freedom. I was once again in the throws of an addiction and it was affecting numerous areas in my life including significant relationships. Like Moses and like Jacob, drastic measures needed to be taken. What were they?

Confession of wrong choices and accepting once again the truth that this particular area is off limits to me. Not out of punishment but rather for freedom. Some things needed to be deleted from my computer. Then came the question of what to do with the book. Give it away? Throw it away? No, something more profound and tangible that would represent a dieing off. I proceeded to pull the book apart, shred every page in a paper shredder, and then with shovel in hand head to the back yard for the burial. Each scoop of dirt loosened the grip of addiction and released me to continue finding my way to freedom. I awoke this morning with the absence of the oppression and sadness that has marked my path for the past month. My thoughts are clearer and my heart is lighter because I went back to the place where I had veered off the path and repositioned myself to re-enter it with joy! This time I didn’t need a Bethel experience…I needed an oak of Shechem.

Father, You have wooed me back to Yourself in a powerful way. Thank you for the forgiveness and freedom that has resulted from it. Amen.

I Need Thee Every Hour - Selah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2ULhi1szjk

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.

When We Want to Run

In the LORD I take refuge; How can you say to my soul, "Flee as a bird to your mountain.“ Psalm 11:1 (New American Standard Bible)

Do you ever wish you could go somewhere for a number of years and come back with evident changes in your life? Do you ever wish that the people who know you best could eventually see development that seems so slow in coming? Do you ever wish the person you have become would become someone different? Do you ever just not like who you are and what you are? If so, know that you are not alone. Although few will admit it, many feel the same way.


Have you ever shared with another person your feelings of inadequacy, depression, or sadness? Is there at least one person in your life who knows how much you struggle to walk in peace, joy, and love? If so, does your trust remain in tact that they have not changed their opinion of you, lost respect for you, or are on the verge of giving up on you and walking away? Do you wrestle with thoughts that had you not shared so much maybe things would be different? Do you entertain thoughts of backing away before abandonment is forthcoming?

Escape seems to be the “answer” that some of us feel would put us in a safe place. Like maybe if we just backed away from the places where we experience internal darkness and foreboding thoughts, we somehow believe things would begin to change for us. We can’t imagine the possibility that things could be any different without running away. David wasted no time in letting us know that doesn’t work. Refuge and safety is not a place you escape to. It is a Person you hide in. That Person is Jesus Christ and He longs to be your place of refuge. He longs to be my place of refuge as well. So how do we make Him that place and person for us?

Get honest with Him. Confide in Him and confess to Him all that is going on inside your heart and mind. Tell Him the things that fill you with shame as well as the things that fill you with joy. Let Him know your fears, disappointments, and aches, as well as your treasures, dreams, and laughter. He is not looking for you to stand in His presence only when a smile is on your face. He wants realness, authenticity, and intimacy with Him. Then listen as He tells you the things your soul longs to hear.

Father, help me to escape into You. Running is not the answer unless it is into Your arms. Amen.

You Are My Hiding Place - Selah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfUOLfBFFaU&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.