Triggers

The women sang as they played, and said, "Saul has slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands." Then Saul became very angry, for this saying displeased him; and… Saul looked at David with suspicion from that day on. 1 Samuel 18:7-9 (New American Standard Bible)

Saul’s anger erupted out of a heart filled with the need for prominence, not only in his kingdom but in the hearts and minds of his people. His anger led to suspicion and eventually attempted murder. But what was it that brought on his anger? What was the trigger that flipped his switch of negative, destructive emotions? Today’s verse reveals this time it was women who were praising David’s accomplishments above Saul’s. Unfortunately, Saul never conquered his jealousy or anger.

Last night, the Lord and I went on a hunt….a trigger hunt. My area of concern was not anger but rather negative perceptions about people. I knew those perceptions where wrong and they were robbing me of joy and enjoyment of significant relationships. I knew they stemmed from heart issues and wrong thinking. But the Lord wanted me to understand the necessity of seeing what triggered the thoughts. What was it that could take me from good moments to thinking the worst of another individual? What were my triggers? Within minutes the answer came. For me, the door to my perceptions is opened with the key of disappointment. God wanted me to see the pattern.

There are times I place expectations on people and when those expectations are not forth coming I experience disappointment. The disappointment triggers the negative perceptions which stirs up a sea of emotions in me. If not properly dealt with the result can range from withdrawal to out right anger. But the disappointment is two-fold. While I am disappointed in the unmet expectations, I am also disappointed in myself for having the expectations to start with. God is letting me know there is a better way to live.

First, place my expectations and hope in Him. People will never be able to give me all that I want, in the amount that I want it, and when I want it. They are not meant to. But when disappointment does mark my path it is imperative that I learn to identify the problem and take the unmet needs to God rather than allow perceptions to consume me. This is the formation of a spiritual muscle for me but it will only develop and grow as I exercise it. In order for that to take place, God will continue to allow me to experience the “triggers” in order to practice the truth He has revealed. As long as I cooperate with Him it will work and change will come. I lean on Him and learn from Him.

Father, freedom comes through acknowledgement, confession, and cooperation with You. Keep me coming back to You for the answers to all of my questions. Amen.

Set Me Free - Casting Crowns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sio1WyIxGy4&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.