How Does He Do That?

Have mercy upon me, O God, according to Your steadfast love; according to the multitude of Your tender mercy and loving-kindness blot out my transgressions. Psalm 51:1 NASB

What is it that often stops us from coming to God in the same way that David came to Him as recorded in Psalm 51? I read through that Psalm this morning and was struck by David’s way of approaching God with his sin. This particular Psalm followed his commitment of adultery, murder, and hiding. And yet David came to God with such childlike appeal. He based his forgiveness on God’s love, mercy, and kindness. No excuses, no blaming, no camouflaging, and no doubt of the outcome.

I wonder why confession of sin and receiving of forgiveness seems so difficult at times for me. As I have brought that question to God, He has begun to reveal the obstacles that get in the way of me personalizing Psalm 51. How He longs for me to see the lies I have owned. How He desires to clear away the distortions of Himself. Here is what He has been sharing with me.

I easily walk in shame over sin. I look back over a trail of sin behind me and think I must first make things right before God is willing to fully forgive me. It is like being given a teaspoon to begin transporting a mile high sand dune. Sin I committed after becoming a Christian haunts me more than sin committed before salvation. There seems to be less of an excuse for it. As a result I walk with a sense of greatly disappointing God and fail to embrace His gift of total complete forgiveness.

But God doesn’t just reveal these aspects to me and then leave. He brings to mind the pictures of Himself as found in Scripture. He is like the father of the returning prodigal. There was no demand that the son “make up” for all he had done. He is like the king who graciously forgave the person who could not pay his debt. There was no talk of installment payments. God says, “Bring to Me a broken and contrite heart. I will not despise you. I will forgive and embrace you.” I am daring to take Him at His word and experience an aspect of grace and mercy that has often eluded me. How He must have grieved to see me so hesitant in His presence.

Some will read this and wonder how I could ever be so mistaken about forgiveness. Others will read it and relate all too easily. For me, I simply say with David, “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.”

Father, my journey continues to be one of exposing lies, discovering truth, and experiencing transformation! I come. Amen.