Wednesday, April 29, 2009

What to do With My Perceptions


But consider now, and see how he is seeking a quarrel against me. 2 Kings 5:7 (New American Standard Bible)


The king of Israel voiced these words against the king of Syria upon receiving a letter requesting that he heal Naaman of leprosy. The letter was sent as a plea for help, not a declaration for war. Faced with an impossible task, the king of Israel feels his back is against the wall and he takes cover under a robe of suspicion and accusations. His perception has blinded him to the truth.

I know how he feels! For I too have misread another person’s intentions, actions, words, and expressions. I look back and am amazed at how quickly I have interpreted such things in a negative light toward myself and others. I assumed the worst, accepted the lie, and clothed myself in my own robe of suspicion and accusations. What I presumed to be an attack, a rejection, or abandonment became my reality and I pulled away in an attempt to not feel further hurt. It has caused me on numerous occasions to miss the blessings of relationships, the joy of living, and an internal world of peace. Until recently, I had no idea where this tendency came from. I knew it was there, I hated the effects, and I longed for freedom. God in His graciousness has begun to enlighten me on not only the root of my suspicions but the affective way to extinguish them.

First of all, He has helped me to see that into my relationships I carry wounds and negative messages about myself. I interpreted certain events in my life in ways that told me I was worthless, burdensome, and unlovable. Once the lies were embraced, I perceived that was what others thought of me as well. With each word, action, or event the old tapes would start to play in my head and I would embrace more lies. Although it was my own false perception, it was real to me. In most cases, this was always the scenario.

God’s solution? Admit I am not a mind reader. I am not God and therefore cannot possibly judge another person’s motives, intents, or thoughts. Know that the attacks are spiritual in nature. As with all attacks I must come against the spirit of accusation. I must renounce it and come against the effects it has on me. I must speak the truth about who I am in Christ instead of what I have come to believe about myself. Then instead of backing away from the person I must begin praying blessings and life over them. When these things take place the attack ends and I stand in a freedom and victory that has revolutionized the way I live my life. It works every time no matter the size of the incident. How I thank my heavenly Father for such insight into what has been such a predominant part of my life.

Father, You heard every negative word I voiced to myself when others never meant to hurt me. Forgive me for the judgments I made and the lies I embraced. I gladly trade the garments of suspicion and condemnation for robes of righteousness and freedom. Amen.

This is My Desire - Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obi5ZGujiuU&feature=related

He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food. Job 36:16