Real Love

Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. Revelation 3:19(New International Version)

Rebuke and discipline are two aspects of love that I have struggled to understand. Recently, the Lord showed me why that is the case. He helped me to see that my own definition of love was getting in the way of my understanding. Because love can sometimes feel good I can easily draw the conclusion that what does not feel good is not love. Because love can sometimes nurture me emotionally I can just as easily draw the conclusion that what doesn’t feel nurturing is not love.

In the book, Relational Masks, Russell Willingham states that true love gives others what is for their good and spiritual growth. I read the words but found it hard to grasp the truth of what I was reading. The fact that something for my good and spiritual growth could also hurt had me in a place of confusion. I needed a fleshed out example and God graciously gave one. He put me in a position whereby a close friend had to be straight forward with me with the truth of my actions, attitudes, and demeanor. She saw what was hurting me spiritually, emotionally, and relationally, and spent a great deal of time pointing out various aspects of my heart problems. She pin-pointed specific areas that not only needed change but needed my willingness to change.

As uncomfortable as it was to hear her words, I knew she was speaking the truth and I knew she was saying everything out of love. She was not coming across angry or frustrated, just frank and to the point. I glared and stared through most of her talk but she persisted at being God’s mouth piece to my ears and heart. Her words became rungs of a ladder I used to climb out of yet another emotional pit. Internally, my heart shifted and externally my demeanor changed. I left our conversation with a heart that was ready to take in necessary truths God would show me the following day.

Although being nurtured and feeling good may still be a part of love and enjoyable for me, I now see that those must take a back seat to what is for my good and growth. It is imperative that I live by this truth rather than by my emotions and feelings. That which feels good may actually hurt me in the long run. With God’s help I have now turned a new corner in my journey to freedom. May that continue to be my experience as God continues to finish what He started in me.

Father, getting a true picture of love is helping me to rewrite personal interpretations of past experiences. I can see now that what didn’t always feel like love was in fact loving indeed. May other people’s good and growth be the motivation of my actions as well. Amen.

I am a Friend of God - Phillps, Craig, and Dean
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMnMN08sv4k&feature=related

He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food. Job 36:16