Staying Honest With Myself and God

They confronted me in the day of my calamity, but the LORD was my support. He also brought me forth into a broad place; He rescued me, because He delighted in me. 2 Samuel 22:19-20 (New American Standard Bible)

Some concepts of Scripture are easier for me to grasp than others. I have no trouble believing that God is my support, that He has brought me forth into a broad place, and that He has rescued me. His intervention in my life has been evident and endless. Many have been the pits He has lifted me out of and the situations He has rescued me from. He has stayed when others have walked away. He has comforted when others have condemned. He has extended love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness with full knowledge of the worst of me. Yet even with this knowledge I struggle to grasp and live in His delight of me….especially when I keep failing at overcoming the weaknesses and propensities toward sin that still reside in me.

I see my shortcomings and failures so clearly. People tell me they see growth and I sometimes simply take their words by faith. God’s words to Israel in the Old Testament when they did not keep His laws hang over me like banners. Romans 8:1 says there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus and who walk in the Spirit rather than the flesh. But the sense of condemnation, failure, and worthlessness often envelope me. I believe many Christians feel the same way but won’t admit it because they know they shouldn’t feel that way. So we don the smile, say the right words, and try to do better. But the inner struggle continues.

The answer? Stay in the Word and remain honest with God. He already knows the doubts, fears, and apprehensions. He sees the gold even in the midst of failure. He knows that one day I will fully realize and embrace His grace and mercy. I will revel in His forgiveness. For now, my eyes well up with tears when I am told He loves me.

Every day does not start out like this but today does. It is my starting point and God is already extending His heart and His hand to me in order to walk me through the minefield of thoughts. I want to hear what He has to say to me for I know joy will follow.

This isn’t an easy devotional to write but I believe it is necessary. It will also be worthwhile if it causes one other individual to finally take the time to look within themselves and see what is really going on. If they will finally begin to live a life of authenticity before God.

Father, I need You and I need Your truth to be my life. Amen.

You Are My Hiding Place - Maranatha Singers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zej__yFPeK0

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.