A Fresh Start

Glancing this way and that and seeing no one, he killed the Egyptian and hid him in the sand. Exodus 2:12 (New International Version)

Have you ever had something from your past continue to give you a nagging feeling? I often wonder if Moses was ever haunted by his killing of an Egyptian. Or was David ever tormented by the thoughts of adultery and murder? Or were Joseph’s brothers bothered by their treatment of Joseph? Or…..you get the picture. The Bible is full of examples of people’s pasts that could have easily consumed them and robbed them of peace and joy and the ability to move on. Outside of the grace of God and an owning of His total forgiveness it is impossible.

In the course of a phone conversation last night something was said that I really needed to hear. As I reviewed some areas of regret, wrong choices, and life altering consequences from the past, I was able to take in this truth that my friend shared with me…..I cannot fix or change the past. I must simply move forward and determine by God’s grace to do the right things now. To walk in truth now and follow God’s lead.

I cannot tell you the weight that came off my shoulders as I saw the freedom in what she was saying. The continual questioning and beating myself up over past decisions has kept me from moving forward. It was like being frozen in time. I had wrongly assumed God wanted me to somehow fix everything and make it all the way it was suppose to be in the first place. I felt like a small child standing over the Grand Canyon with a tiny shovel and being told to fill in the hole. Impossible! And so was the idea with my past areas of concern. Not only impossible but a lie that it was even being expected of me.

To the best of my ability I have sought God’s forgiveness as well as that of someone who was hurt by it all. Now God is urging me to live in that forgiveness and walk in the freedom it brings. No more shame. No more condemnation. No more second guessing. No more “if only” statements. Learn from it and go on with Him. Listen for His daily instructions and then act upon what He says. After all, Moses, David, and Joseph’s brothers had no way of undoing or making right their sinful choices outside of God’s grace and forgiveness, and neither can you or I.

Father, thank you for each fresh start You give to me. I rejoice in the freedom of that thought. What I cannot undo need never hinder me from moving forward with You. Amen.