God's Demonstration

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves….so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body….so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 2 Corinthians 4:7,10,11 (New American Standard Bible)

As I look back over this past year, my desire is that God’s power was evident in my life and that the life of Christ was seen in me. Eternity will ultimately reveal if that was the case. But for now, I rest in the fact that anything of eternal value that was accomplished and anything of lasting change that came about was truly the display of God’s power and not my own. I know that in my flesh, my power, my strength, and my resolve this is not possible. I have experienced too many failures, distractions, and diversions for me to muster up any self-glory. The final test is not what people thought of me for they were limited in their view. It is not even what I think of myself for my heart is deceitful. In the end, it is what God sees and knows. For He alone sees my heart, motives, and thoughts. He reads me like an open book.

He also knows what He is working in me to bring about His masterpiece of redemption. He has chosen to indwell this earthen vessel with all of its weaknesses, sinful habits, and prodigal ways. Like a jeweler who places diamonds on a backdrop of dark velvet for a greater contrast, He chooses to contrast His perfection and holiness against my depravity, His forgiveness against my sin, His love against my rebellion, and His strength against my weakness. The contrast is not only evident, it is stunning and evokes praise to Him!

I praise Him for any steps forward He helped me to take and any steps backward He forgave. I praise Him for any knowledge of Himself that was gained. I praise Him for the tears He allowed and then lovingly dried. I praise Him for painful goodbyes and extraordinary introductions. I praise Him for any and all things He used to draw me closer to Himself. I praise Him for that which caused me to open my eyes, ears, heart, and arms to Him. I praise Him for the things He noticed that escaped even my attention. I praise Him for not allowing others to take His place. I praise Him for loving discipline that not only got my attention but opened the door for change. I praise Him for individuals He supplied to walk along side me. I praise Him for all the ways He chose to teach me of His ways and His heart. I praise Him for ministering to the wounds, brokenness, and heartaches. I praise Him for all the music that has reached my ears as well as my spirit. I praise Him for this journey. And I praise Him that by His grace I will enter another year to see Him continue to do all of this and so much more!

Father, show Yourself plainly in my life. May each day I see and acknowledge Your work in me. My Potter, My Father, My Friend, I love You! Amen.

Imitations of Himself

God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Genesis 1:27 (New American Standard Bible)

I have seen pictures of the Rocky Mountains and I have been to the Rocky Mountains. While pictures can be breath taking, they do not begin to compare to the beauty and majesty of the actual place. They are simply an image or likeness of it. They give us an idea of the genuine but they are not the same thing. The Rocky Mountains are so much more! Any who would settle for a picture over the real place is settling for less.

God created man in His image as someone who would display His character, personality, and likeness. Think of the special qualities you see in others be it patience, love, joy, warmth, charm, or strength, and you are seeing a limited aspect of God Himself. They are merely the image of the One who created them. Too often, we settle for the image over the authentic One. In our flesh we would be content to look to the images, but our spirit knows the difference. Our spirit yearns for the God who created the very person with whom we have become enamored.

This morning I am thinking of numerous people God has brought into my life and I am appreciating the way they reflect God. That which attracts me to them is Christ in them. The qualities of His heart are showing through and are meant to give me a glimpse and taste of what He is like. Just as a picture of an exotic place would awaken a desire in me to go to that place, the picture of Christ in another individual should awaken in me a desire to go to Christ Himself.

God longs for each of us to move out of the “art gallery” that displays His image and turn our attention toward Him. To stop settling for the imitations. To stop making them our focal point, security, plum line, and compass. He is their Source and wants to be ours as well. He longs for us to be obsessed with Him and captivated by Him. What we see in others will help us to know about God but only He can help us to know Him. One is intellectual while the other is life changing.

While I thank God for those who have imitated Him so well, I am no longer satisfied with a limited view. My desire is to see Him for myself, hear Him for myself, talk to Him myself, and connect with Him myself. No amount of rubbing shoulders with others will bring that about. It must be a one on one meeting with the One who created me in His own image. This morning, I choose to slip my name into Genesis 1:27 and live with a fresh realization of that truth.

Father, may I no longer settle for the images of You. I hear Your call to know You and I follow the sound of Your voice. Amen.

A Call to Stand Still

So the priests who bore the ark stood in the midst of the Jordan until everything was finished that the LORD had commanded Joshua to speak to the people, according to all that Moses had commanded Joshua; and the people hurried and crossed over. Joshua 4:10 (New King James Version)

I find it interesting that for a while the priests were called to stand still! The duration of their “stand” was until everything God commanded was finished. It wasn’t finished when the entire nation of Israel crossed over the Jordan River on dry land. It was finished when twelve individuals had removed twelve stones for memorials from the river bed and Joshua had set up twelve stones as a memorial in the river bed. Once all of that was accomplished, the priests were allowed to move forward.

To me, standing still is always more difficult than moving forward. It doesn’t seem natural or necessary from my perspective. But I am quickly learning (and relearning) that MY perspective is not the issue….God’s perspective is! I often feel like the student at the back of room who is wildly waving her hand in hopes of being “chosen” for something! And yet over my restlessness and enthusiasm God seems to be saying, “Stand here until I have finished some things in you and some things in others.” He can tell by my slumped shoulders and confused look that I do not understand His command.

While He has not shown me all the reasons or the full picture for this stand still moment, He has let me know what it does NOT mean and what I am to be doing during this time. It does not mean He doesn’t care or is uninvolved in my life. It does not mean I am insignificant or unusable. Nor does it mean there aren’t future plans and purposes for my life. Those are the interpretations the enemy delights in whispering to me. Those are the lies I must counter with biblical truth. I must poise myself to hear God say, “I care about you and you are My precious child. I know the plans I have for you…they are good plans. In My time and in My way I will unfold those plans to you. Rest in Me. You are right where I want you…for now.”

With that said, I see things God wants to accomplish in me at this time. Drawing closer to Him and developing a dependency upon Him is primary! He is still fixing the false concepts and perceptions I have of Him. He is also walking me through the huge issue of emotional dependency. Two powerful tools He is giving me are books and crossing my path with individuals who have walked this road before me. Seeing just those two areas is enough to convince me that standing still is an excellent idea after all!

Father, there is no such thing as wasted time when it is of You. I choose to stand in this place until You have finished all that You desire to do at this time. I leave the timing and the commanding to You. Amen.

Believing and Abiding in His Love

And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. I John 4:16 (New King James Version)

To know and believe God really loves us is to think it to be true, to be persuaded it is true, and to place confidence in its truth. Nearly four years ago, I came to understand that God’s love is not dependent on what I am doing. In other words, my actions and behavior are not the basis for His love. That had a profound effect upon me. It shook up my belief system and caused me to take a hard look at the many misperceptions I had about God and the Christian life. It birthed changes in me and broke through self imposed limits and walls. My “box” mentality gave way to spacious places in which I was free to move about and explore. It opened up honest dialogue between myself and God. Knowing that He required truth in the inward parts changed my prayer life. Secure in His love, I could begin to voice questions, doubts, and misgivings. True feelings and honest thoughts could now be shared with Him.

Taking in the truth of God’s love is one thing but God invites us to go further. He wants His love to become our place of abiding on a daily basis. To tarry in the knowledge and have it become our continual reference point. Come what may, it must be our plumb line that keeps us centered and focused on Him. Without it we drift and become victims of difficulties, rampant emotions, and tactics of an enemy who wants to devour and destroy us. Physical, financial, emotional, spiritual, or relational hardships must continue to be placed under the canopy of God’s love for us. We must anchor our souls to it, fix our minds on it, and live within the reality of it on a continual basis.

Easier said than done? Absolutely. But worth it! It is what strengthens me when I am weak, wounded, or weary. It is what renews my hope when I am floundering. It is what assures me of forgiveness and mercy when I have really blown it. It is what redirects my steps when I have wandered. Each time I crawl into the truth of His love and embrace it for myself, I am anointed with a security that no one else can give to me.

I am still learning and still growing but it is being done in the context of God’s love, heart, and thoughts toward me. Whether I am in valleys or on mountain tops the truth continues to set me free!

Father, thank you for a love that never changes, never walks away, and never diminishes. I open my arms and my heart to all You give to me. Amen.

The No Matter What of Rejoicing

Though the fig tree does not blossom and there is no fruit on the vines, [though] the product of the olive fails and the fields yield no food, though the flock is cut off from the fold and there are no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will exult in the [victorious] God of my salvation! The Lord God is my Strength, my personal bravery, and my invincible army; He makes my feet like hinds’ feet and will make me to walk [not to stand still in terror, but to walk] and make [spiritual] progress upon my high places [of trouble, suffering, or responsibility]! Habakkuk 3:17-19 (Amplified Bible)

Got the picture? No matter the circumstance, disappointment, loss, failure, or lack, rejoicing is possible…it is a choice! Why? Because it is based in who God is and what God does not in anything or anyone outside of Him. That which cannot be given to me by other avenues cannot be taken away from me by other avenues. Since God is my Strength, I am able to stand strong! Since God is my confidence, I am able to advance with my head held high! Since God is my army of defense, I am able to live life secure and protected. The storms of life and trials of this world do not determine my position, provision, or possessions. God does!

Today’s verse is the kind of verse I can slip ANY situation into and come out with the same result. No matter what I list behind the word “though” it can be followed by YET I WILL REJOICE IN THE LORD! Why? Because He is my strength and the one who makes me to walk above the places of difficulty. He shelters me in any storm, holds me in any trouble, comforts me in any distress, accompanies me through any valley, and strengthens me in every moment. This is a passage of victory if ever I saw one!

I am struck by the fact that Habakkuk does not voice these truths after the situation has improved. He voices them as he realizes the possibility of a worse case scenario. What an example! Whether I look to the past and think on things that I would have chosen never to happen, I can still rejoice in the Lord. Whether I take stock of my present situation and see things that still have not changed or been resolved, I can still rejoice in the Lord. And whether I contemplate the many what if and if only moments of the future, I can still rejoice in the Lord.

God’s New Year resolution to me is always the same! He promises to be faithful, present, involved, righteous, and loving. That alone gives me reason enough to rejoice! Whatever lies ahead I will rejoice in Him!

Father, Your love has never been conditional. May mine not be either. I joy in the God that You are! Amen.

Seeing a Clearer Picture

Be in pain, and labor to bring forth, O daughter of Zion, like a woman in birth pangs. For now you shall go forth from the city, you shall dwell in the field, and to Babylon you shall go. There you shall be delivered; there the LORD will redeem you from the hand of your enemies. Micah 4:10 (New King James Version)

Have you ever wondered what it is the Lord is doing in your life? On a daily basis you feel as if you are sitting among countless puzzle pieces and the semblance of a picture is no where to be found. Days blend into weeks and even months, and you still perceive nothing! Faith says, “God knows what He is doing!” while the flesh says, “This doesn’t make sense!” Can anyone relate to this?

When my eyes landed on this verse this morning I began to see a clearer picture of what has been happening over time. As one year gives way to another year I am looking back and seeing phrases within this verse coming to life for me. I have absolutely no doubt God is presently birthing something in me….I have experienced the labor pains!!!! Maybe you have as well.

When I think of God calling His people out of the city and into the field, I picture the leaving of comfort zones and places of presumed security. To say it is unsettling is an understatement. I will admit that the first year of my journey was filled with many fearful moments as I was letting go of so many things I had held to for decades. But I knew I would be okay because my heart’s desire was to know God more intimately and walk in freedom! I just had to get past the idea that what people thought equated what God thought. Once I began to experience God and the Christian life in a whole new way, I was thrilled! This was followed by another season. That of pain and sorrow at a significant loss in my life. Tears marked the path on which I had formerly danced! But again, I knew I would be okay because I now knew God in a way that allowed me to lean upon Him like never before. This became my season for seeing areas in which I needed deliverance.

God has wasted no time in showing me how deeply the areas of bondage run in me and along with that, His incredible power and ability to set me free! As I enter a new year, I am entering it as a changed person in many respects. Compared to a year ago, I don’t think the same way I use to think. I don’t relate to people the way I use to relate. I don’t view God the way I use to view God. I don’t know what this new year will be like but I know that over all of it will hang God’s promise to deliver and redeem me from all my enemies. Even that with which I presently struggle will give way to His hand of redemption! Because of that, I walk with a confidence and security that has me dancing once again!

Father, I no longer wonder how You will accomplish Your purposes in me! I simply know that You will! Amen.

Ready to Receive or Release

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. I Thessalonians 5:11 (New International Version)

I just spent a lovely evening with a friend and her family. After an elementary school Christmas program we headed for some pizza. My soul basked in the warmth of their laughter, love, and life! It is hard for me to believe that our friendship has grown and developed in just a few short months. It has been needed and it has been enjoyed!

There have been a handful of women whom God has introduced me to in this past year that came at a time when it seemed other friendships were going through some changes. At first, the changes concerned me and I started wondering what had gone wrong and what I had done to “drive” them away. Just when I thought I had become a “relational leper” God enlightened me to something I hadn’t considered. The friendships were still in tact. If I saw them or spoke with them we would enjoy ourselves. So what was different? God’s answer was this: they are no longer primary encouragers to you or you to them. And that’s okay because I have other relationships for all of you. When I embraced that truth everything changed!

God’s intent is that I enjoy the friends He brings into my life with open hands. Releasing them must be done as freely as receiving them. For it is only in releasing them that I am able to then receive others. God has purposes for the ones He brings into my life. We have the opportunity to enrich each other’s life within the time frame God has determined. He will know when it is time for me to interact with new people. Frequency will no longer mark our conversations but the friendship will continue in a new way.

This has been freeing for me. It has helped me take my expectations off people and enjoy them for who they are. It has also helped me to delight in the times we do share. Not hearing from them no longer becomes a time to doubt, condemn, or blame myself or them. I am now free to trust God to intersect my world with others in His time!

I have no idea how many more people I have yet to meet. God keeps surprising me like He did this past summer! I lift up thanks to Him for past encouragers as well as present ones. It is one area of need He continually supplies and He does it to perfection. It doesn’t have to be a thing of confusion or pain any longer. I am free to embrace the body of Christ as it was meant to be embraced. I now treasure the past, enjoy the present, and anticipate the future.

Father, I never liked change but have finally begun to see the preciousness of it! Thank you for each person who has touched my life in beautiful ways. I await the ultimate reunion in Heaven! Amen.

The One Who Can Fill You

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. Psalm 42:1 (New International Version)

Years ago I heard the saying that we are each born with a God-shaped vacuum that only God can fill. I equated it with salvation and moved on. Decades later, God is bringing that truth to life for me and I am astounded at the implications! We were each born with needs, longings, and desires. I picture them coming out of a huge cavern in my soul. A hollow place if you will. God created us with the needs, and wants us to know that He alone can meet those needs. For some, that concept is easily seen and easily digested. For others, the realization is slow in coming and the receiving of it is even slower.

I have spent the past few hours chewing on some things God was bringing to mind. It has been one “aha” moment after another. Like a massive jigsaw puzzle, the pieces have been sliding into place and I am now looking at the entire picture. The pieces have come from various sources but God alone has masterfully put them all together and I am over whelmed by the view!

This morning’s picture has to do with significance. That awareness and belief that our life matters and we are a valuable part of God’s creation. Some look for it in achievement, fame, riches, or success. I looked for it in people. While there were times individuals could make me “feel” significant they were never meant to be what gave me my significance. God alone is the source for that! When I would look to a person to fill my need for value and worth, it was like pouring water into a huge hole. The dirt saturated the water and the hole was still there. Remove the person and what little they were able to give you is removed as well. That is the way it is with any source.

As I faced my cavern, I finally saw that the only One who could fill it and continue to fill it is God. He alone is permanent and He alone is able. With a sense of sheer joy and delight I asked Him to fill the hole! Fill the place in me that has only grown deeper over the years with relationship upon relationship. Fill the place in me that has never been filled. The longing and desire is finally directed toward the only One who can satisfy. As the deer pants for the water, as the eagle yearns for the sky, as the prisoner longs for freedom, I reach for God and He is so very accessible. He has drawn me with cords of loving kindness and wooed me with tender words.

Father, the healing continues and I stand in awe of how You are accomplishing it. What I believed to be impossible is now happening and I praise You! Amen.

In Pursuit of Us

And the LORD God prepared a gourd, and made it to come up over Jonah, that it might be a shadow over his head, to deliver him from his grief. So Jonah was exceeding glad of the gourd. Jonah 4:6 (King James Version)

Today was the first time I have ever read through the book of Jonah and saw God’s pursuit of him. God pursued him in his place of comfort. (chap. 1) He pursued him when he ran. (chap. 2) He pursued him when he repented. (chap. 3) And He pursued him when he retreated in anger. (chap. 4) That is the place of today’s verse. God meets him in his grief and ministers to him.

We so often think of God as One who leaves us in our time of rebellion and anger. And yet David writes in Psalm 139 that no matter where we go, God has us encircled, enclosed, and hemmed in with His right hand on us! The knowledge of that in its entirety was too much for David to fully grasp. Think of it! God remains ever present and ever personal no matter what! This is not to say He approves of our sinful choices or ignores our actions. He does not set aside the sowing and reaping principle nor does He simply ignore our behavior. That would not be loving or wise on His part. But He desires restoration and deliverance for us just as He did for Jonah.

This morning I am reviewing in my mind the many different places I have been where God was still pursuing me. He pursued me as a lost sinner in need of a Savior. He pursued me in my camps of performance and legalism. He pursued me in my pursuit of others. He pursued me in my repentance and brokenness. And presently He pursues me in a time of healing and restoration. Like David, I am unable to grasp the knowledge of it. But God doesn’t expect me to understand it all. He simply desires that I embrace this aspect of Him and live life as a recipient of His mercy, love, and grace. He has promised to finish the work He started in me and I marvel as I see Him doing just that! Undeserving but delighted by it!

As you read this, I don’t know where you are in your walk with Him. You may be closer to Him than you have ever been before or you may be farther from Him than you ever thought you would be. I don’t know which it is but I know this: God is pursuing you every step of the way! He has enclosed you and has His right hand on you if you are His child through faith in Christ. He is not leaving and He is not letting go. He has a vested interest in you! Delight in that truth and own it. Let it sink in!

Father, You have put me in awe once again. The best and worst of me has not distracted, dismayed, or discouraged You from pursuing and wooing me. I cannot wrap my mind around that truth but I open my heart to it! Amen.

It's Time to Slow Down

I will feed them in a good pasture, and their grazing ground will be on the mountain heights of Israel. There they will lie down on good grazing ground and feed in rich pasture on the mountains of Israel. Ezekiel 34:14 (New American Standard)

God is working to expose an area in my life that He desires to repair and He is using several vehicles to do so. I am recalling the early days of my journey when I devoured book upon book to somehow “catch up” on truths about Him that I had missed. I couldn’t seem to read enough to feed my ravenous appetite. But there came a point when I realized I had taken in more truth than I knew what to do with. It was like I had filled my mind with a lot of facts that still needed to make their way to my heart and my daily experience.

A friend emailed me yesterday and shared a truth God had laid upon her heart to share. She was encouraging me to savor the things God was doing in my life and the lessons He was teaching me. She was imploring me to chew on the truths and meditate on them without moving immediately on to the next thing. To let God’s revelation go deep. God used her words to begin awakening in me the realization that I have a tendency to “learn and run” rather than “learn and rest“. There was a time I did this out of a sense of depravation and yet eventually it merely became habit for me.

This morning God became even more pointed in His message to me. I cannot miss the vivid picture He has brought to mind. He allowed me to do my normal reading of several chapters from the Bible followed by a half dozen or so devotional books. Throughout my reading there would be verses and phrases that flared up like fireworks in the distance and yet I would hurriedly move on to the next piece to read. When I came to the last book, He stopped me dead in my tracks and showed me this picture of myself. I was standing (not sitting) at a banquet table and I was moving from platter to platter nibbling away! I was barely tasting the food as I took it in. He showed me clearly THAT is exactly what I am doing with His Word. I am reading and nibbling morsels of truth. But I am not squeezing the flavor out of any of them! I am feeding but not feasting on His message to me. In light of today’s verse, I am running through the pastures rather than lying and grazing in them.

I was honest with Him as I admitted to not being sure how to slow down at this point. I have a feeling He is getting ready to walk me through the reasons I am in such a hurry and is poised to teach me how to implement His “table etiquette.”

Father, I want to learn to do this right. Keep me teachable to Your instructions and voice. Teach me how to get the most out of our time together. Amen.

A Journey Toward Forgiveness

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13 (New International Version)

What is it you struggle to forget? Who is it you struggle to forgive? I guarantee it is the very thing that is robbing you of peace, slowing your pace, darkening your path, draining your energy, binding you to the past, hindering you from moving forward, clouding your thoughts, limiting your effectiveness for God, casting a foreboding shadow on the sunniest of days, interfering with your ability to enjoy life, and keeping you from living the abundant life so often spoken of by Jesus. I don’t use those phrases because I have recently read them in a book or heard them delivered from a pulpit. I say them from personal experience. Those of us who have walked in bitterness and unforgiveness have no trouble describing the result of our own choice to do so. The longer we live tethered to the offenses and grievances of others the more easily the words pour out of us that describe what is going on inside us.

Sometimes things happen and words are spoken that affect you and you are able to quickly forgive the offender. But when the actions or words cut deeply and tear away at every fiber of your being, forgiveness will be a process that forever changes the dimensions of the word itself. Jesus set the example and gave the command, but He also provides the willingness and ability to carry out His desire. He knows there will be many steps to take on the road to total forgiveness and freedom.

The journey for me has come in stages. At times it felt like my shoes were covered in cement and progress was slow in coming. It took a while for me to realize and acknowledge the depth of my own pain. Layer upon layer of emotions had to be worked through in order to get to the core. Just admitting my tendency to hold on to the offense was a process. That then led to confession because that was a sin I was committing. But once that acknowledgement and confession transpired there was a necessary action I still needed to take. In some ways, it is the hardest and yet most productive.

For me it has been a matter of reviewing the very things I have been forgiven of and then systematically listing those things I am choosing to forgive in the other person. My forgiveness of another is always on the backdrop of God’s forgiveness of me. Each time this happens the wound is cleaned out a little more and the sense of freedom strengthened. Each time there is a moment of release for both myself and the other person. I am not going to rush this stage. I am willing to walk through the steps as many times as it takes until the chains have been completely severed and lie in a heap. No one will have to tell me when that is the case. I will know and so will Christ.

Father, I am seeing an aspect of forgiveness I never knew. Thank you for walking me through the entire process. Amen.

A Different Battle Tactic

For in the day of trouble He will hide me in His shelter; in the secret place of His tent will He hide me; He will set me high upon a rock. Psalm 27:5 (Amplified Bible)

Ask anyone who has been a Christian for any length of time and they will testify to the fact that we are in a battle. Whether it is in the spiritual, physical, or emotional realm of life we are often engaged in battle daily with either the world, the flesh, or the devil. Realizing this truth does not necessarily make it easy but at least it allows us to know who we are fighting against. But that is only half the story. Not only are we in a battle but we have weapons to use while fighting. Ephesians 6 lists the armor we are to put on daily….armor that is both offensive and defensive. There is also the power found in learning to pray Scripture and along with that learning to use our God-given authority. The list goes on and on. It boils down to warfare praying and warfare living.

So I was taken back yesterday when in the midst of what I knew to be an attack, God revealed another aspect that was new for me. As thoughts became dark and emotions ran wild, I sensed His invitation to hide in Him until the storm passed. Rather than a time to fight it became a time to rest. I will be honest with you, I didn’t know that was ever an option. And it worked! In the midst of the battlefield, He became my hiding place and shelter. And within that shelter, He exposed issues of my heart that needed to be addressed. Rather than fight the external forces, He was leading me to deal with some internal forces. And what were they? Fears, disappointments, loneliness, discomfort, wounds. Unless confronted and dealt with they would fester. God in His wisdom removed this soldier from the fight just as a wounded soldier would be removed from the battlefield.

For the entire day I stayed hidden. And when the night fell, the words of honesty poured from my mouth just as the tears fell from my eyes. As the depths of my heart were exposed, His healing balm was applied. What followed was a good night’s rest and a sense of refreshment when I woke. My internal world feels like the calm after the storm. I can almost smell the rain. When my eyes landed on today’s verse I KNEW that was what God had done and I am in awe of Him!

I am always amazed when I turn a spiritual corner and learn a new aspect of God and how He works. He is definitely a God of variety and victory. And I take that truth with me into a new day.

Father, there is so much about You that I still do not know. Thank you for the intentional ways You reveal yourself to me. Amen.

Victory Rather Than Defeat

In You, O LORD, I put my trust; let me never be ashamed; deliver me in Your righteousness. Bow down Your ear to me, deliver me speedily; be my rock of refuge, a fortress of defense to save me. For You are my rock and my fortress; therefore, for Your name’s sake, lead me and guide me. Psalm 31:1-3 (New King James Version)

The enemy of our soul wants nothing more than to keep us in bondage to addictions, strongholds, and harmful mindsets. When we do find freedom from those things, he wants nothing more than to lure us back into them. He is not usually blatant about it. He approaches with what seems like innocent thoughts and hidden consequences. But things are never as they appear. Like a fisherman who hides the hook with an appetizing worm, he dangles the bait in front of us in hopes that we will dwell on the temptation long enough to go for it. Like a single drink to a recovering alcoholic, he knows one “taste” will be enough to enslave us again.

David gives the answer to all such times of temptation. Trust in the Lord! Not in your own ability to resist. Not in countless friends. Not in a change of activity or distraction of the mind. Trust, rely, depend, lean upon the Lord. Cry out to Him as your deliverer, refuge, defense, rock, and fortress. See Him as the One who will lead and guide you. He is the only lasting source and solution to the schemes of a vicious, plotting enemy.

God’s first move may be just to simply get your mind off the very thoughts that seem so appealing. He may take you down a mental trail and reveal to you the end of your actions if you go through with the thoughts. He is intent on keeping you free and will do everything He can to help you cooperate with Him. While He will not over ride your free will, He will help you to align your will with His. He will help you to desire victory more than what seems to be such a strong pull at the moment. He will help you to “swim away” from the baited hook into a spacious place of freedom and delight.

David knew times of defeat and times of victory. Taste enough victory and the thought of defeat becomes unappealing and avoidable. God’s desire is that we always see there is an option. There is always a way of escape. There is always a choice. While God cannot over ride our free will, neither can the enemy. God has provided everything we need to turn away from even the most powerful, pleasant looking temptation. A good place to start is in voicing, out loud, the prayer David left for us in Psalm 31. By the time you get to verse 3, I guarantee the temptation will be downsized and the taste of victory will already be within your grasp. Don’t give up! Don’t give in!

Father, You heard my cries and came to my aid. Once again the enemy’s plans and desires have been thwarted. I raise my hands and voice to You in adoration and praise! Hallelujah! You have set this captive free! Amen.

Receiving Needed Truths

Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 (New American Standard Bible)

God’s desire to be in intimate relationship with His children is displayed in today’s verse. His longing for us to see Him as the lover of our soul and supplier of all our needs is clearly stated but often unrealized by many. The awareness of God’s offer to us is often born out of our places of emptiness, brokenness, and failure. Hence, the ability to receive His strength and help is brought about when we are willing to let go of our preconceived ideas and all the substitutes we have been holding on to. As long as there are any other voices we are listening to or hands we are holding on to, God’s words will fall on deaf ears and a closed heart.

This past weekend I had the privilege and joy of speaking at a women’s Christmas brunch. The two truths I shared with that small group came out of my own experiences of disillusionment and disappointment. I have heard it said that God must put to death the very things that hinder us from knowing Him intimately and personally. While the process of death was excruciating at times the resurrection of hope found in Him has been beyond description.

Although I have known Christ as my Savior for over three decades it took thirty years for me to embrace the truth that I was His beloved. I failed to see that in God’s eyes I am esteemed, dearly loved, favored, valued, and welcome. In order to see that, He had to first release me from the mindset that performance and a list of do’s and don’ts was the way to His heart. Letting go of what seemed so right and taking hold of what seemed so foreign was long in coming but pure gold when realized.

It took four additional years to begin to understand another powerful truth. That being, God’s willingness, desire, and ability to supply everything I need. Not merely my physical and spiritual needs but my deep emotional needs as well. As long as I had individuals to look to, I unknowingly kept God at arm’s length. Taking hold of His hand and receiving His filling and completeness came only as I lost or let go of my varied counterfeit messiahs (those individuals whom I looked to as a way to be fixed, filled, and healed). Looking to them for what only God can do was like entering an apple orchard and expecting to find oranges or bananas. Many were the times I partook of the crumbs of relationship instead of the feast God was offering.

God’s extravagant love and endless supply are now the gifts I open daily. While I still experience moments of failure, I am delighting in moments of victory.

Father, there were times I didn’t understand Your ways and the removal of my sources of security. But I now thank You for removing all that blinded me from seeing You and blocked me from hearing You. Amen.

Each and Every Time

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness. Psalm 30:11 (New King James Version)

Several years ago I asked God to show me His heart in Scripture. My desire was lined up with His and He graciously answered the prayer I had voiced to Him. What followed was that each time I read the Bible there was always found a living message for me! At first, this was such a change for me that I wasn’t sure it would continue to happen each day. I would approach His word with a certain amount of hesitancy and wonder if He would do the same thing for me as He had done the day before. Eventually the timidity gave way to anticipation as I had learned that He would infact be faithful to “show up” and give me practical truths from His Word.

God recently brought this scenario to mind as I ventured into a new area with Him. In the past, I had been use to taking difficulties and heart aches to people. Any amount of sadness or discomfort was reason enough to send an email or make a phone call. While comfort was usually forthcoming, God let me know this was not His intent for me as His child. His desire was that I learn to bring the “mourning and sackcloth” to Him, without which I would not experience Him as my Comforter and Counselor.

Accepting His invitation required trust on my part. He revealed to me that there was a certain amount of distrust I had toward Him and an unbelief that He could do for me what people had been doing. As He tenderly removed that obstacle of doubt, I became willing to take some moments of sadness to Him. Within a short time I found myself experiencing today’s verse. Dancing and gladness replaced sorrow and sadness! To say I was ecstatic is an understatement. I could not get over the way it actually worked! And yet just as in the case of approaching His Word, I found myself wondering if it would work EVERY time. Would God bring about the change for me every time? Absolutely!

He is unchangeable and completely reliable. I see that now. I no longer have to wonder if there is a limit to His availability or capability. He will never withdraw His offer of “Come unto Me.” His supply of comfort and power to transform my internal world will never run out. The temptation to make the calls or send the emails has been greatly reduced and I dance with joy because of it! Therefore, I will give thanks unto Him for ever. (Psalm 30:12)

Father, how You have longed for me to finally see that You could be trusted! May I never get over the wonder of it all. Amen.

Still Doing the Impossible

But there is a God in heaven who reveals secrets, and He has made known to King Nebuchadnezzar what will be in the latter days. Your dream, and the visions of your head upon your bed, were these: Daniel 2:28 (New King James Version)

It was an impossible demand! The king of Babylon had a disturbing dream and wanted to know what it meant. He had men who were use to giving him their “interpretations” of his dreams. If a dream was told to them they could easily come up with what sounded like an accurate meaning. But this time there was a problem. The king could not remember his dream. He could only remember that it had greatly disturbed him. So he demanded that his men tell him what he had dreamed as well as the interpretation. When they insisted he was asking the impossible, his anger spewed out in a death sentence to any and all of his “wise” men.

Upon hearing of this, Daniel requested time to inquire of God what the dream was and what it meant. Daniel, and three companions, fasted and prayed and God revealed to him what only God knew. Daniel then stood before King Nebuchadnezzar and confessed that the king had indeed made an impossible demand on the men and then proclaimed today’s verse. What a contrast! Impossibility was met with BUT THERE IS A GOD IN HEAVEN WHO REVEALS SECRETS! The God of the impossible was revealed to the king of Babylon as the dream and its interpretation flowed from the mouth of Daniel.

The Word of God is filled with impossible situations in both the New and Old Testaments. Each was recorded for our benefit and encouragement. Each given to help us see that there is a God in Heaven who does the very things that cannot be done without His intervention. I praise Him that He is still doing it! No matter the situation God is still able to do the impossible. Whatever the need, God is able to meet it. No matter the length or depth of our problems God is able to do what needs to be done. All things are possible with our God!

Imagine saying to any person at any time, “There is a God in Heaven who can ______________.” He is not limited, powerless, or absent. Be it finances, health, relationships, areas of bondage, losses, or tragedy this same God is still in Heaven! The most amazing statement is that there is a God in Heaven who can forgive sin and make all things new! That is the God I serve and love. That is the God anyone can know and be in relationship with through Jesus Christ. Starting today, let’s determine to speak Daniel’s words over each part of our life and watch the impossibilities become possible.

Father, I have seen You do the impossible in my life and I gladly point others to You for the same purpose. Your name be praised! Amen.

The NOTs of Life

We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:8,9 (New King James Version)

I cannot explain how the words of the Apostle Paul become our experience in the midst of what we feel is going to do us in. My mind cannot wrap itself around the full concept of peace in the midst of storms, strength in weakness, and peace that passes all understanding. The “nots” of this passage are amazing! Not in despair. Not forsaken. Not destroyed. These are only possible statements by the grace of God!

Trials and difficulties are not fun, enjoyable, or desired by any of us. As I stood in the kitchen of a friend’s home last night and listened to the hard-pressing, perplexing, and striking down circumstances she and her husband are experiencing I was over whelmed by her present furnace of affliction. We spoke of God’s faithfulness and presence. We prayed and thanked Him for what would come of all of this. It was truly a moment of looking to His father’s heart instead of man’s provision and wisdom. There was no where else to take her but to the throne of grace. I trust that while her heart was heavy, her spirit was raised and poised for flight!

Someone once said, “When we come to the edge of the light we know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, of this we can be sure…either God will provide something solid to stand on or …we will be taught to fly.” I praise God for the Solid Rock called Jesus that each of us do stand on. And I praise Him for the way we will be taught to fly!

The flight comes as we allow the circumstances that are the most painful to drive us right into close intimacy with Jesus Christ. To know that when all human sources and resources fail to carry us, He becomes our refuge and strong tower. It is when we allow Him to enter into such a place with us that we are bathed in the comfort of words and promises that were penned by Paul but proclaimed by God.

Whether it is for my friend or myself, I am able to begin thanking God for all that He will do that neither of us can even see or fathom at this time. It is then that we can go from distress to anticipation of all that God has in mind and the ability to carry out! How He longs for us to realize how faithful, merciful, and available He is. Those things are best seen and experienced when we are forced out of comfort zones and security blankets into the abiding presence of Almighty God. The tears that flow actually water the seeds of faith and hope that He sows within us.

Father, I have no where else to lead hurting individuals than to Your throne room. I have no one else to entrust them to than You. Because of that I know it will be well with them. It will be well. Amen.

In Christ Alone

Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ. I Corinthians 11:1 (King James Version)

Paul penned these words to the converts in Corinth, Ephesus, and Thessalonica. His goal was not to have people ultimately follow him but to point them to the One who could be their Savior, Deliverer, Healer, Friend, Comforter, and Companion….Jesus Christ. Paul set an example for them to follow which would eventually lead them into an intimate relationship with God through Christ. Today, we have many people in ministry who would voice his same words to new believers as well. People are being used of God to mentor and encourage young believers in their faith until they reach a point whereby they are completely reliant upon God and able to then become an encourager to someone else. It is a precious system God has used and honored many times.

I have been the recipient of such encouragers. For over three decades I have been blessed by several significant relationships that had the flavor of Paul’s words. God graciously brought women into my life who saw something in me that needed to be nurtured and cultivated. Out of love they invested themselves into my life. I would not be the person I am today without their influence. If that were the entire picture all would be well in my corner of the world. Unfortunately what they never fully saw and what I never fully understood was an un-addressed issue in my life.

My area of struggle had to do with emotional dependency (also known as soul ties and relational idolatry). This is the case of one who looks to people and relationships to receive a sense of love, acceptance, significance, identity, and attention. All deep needs are directed toward the significant person who becomes their HOPE of getting those needs met. The relationship is for the sole purpose of survival. While I knew something was not right in the way I related to and looked to the significant people in my life I was clueless as to why I did it and how I could be free from it!

I was forced to take a hard look at this issue when a mentoring relationship abruptly ended a year and a half ago. As I found myself recently heading into yet another dependency driven relationship, I became desperate for not only release from pain and captivity, but to experience God as my true Source for the meeting of all needs. When that became the cry of my heart, He graciously led me to freedom which is only found in Himself!

Some who do not struggle with this issue, might read what I have written and wonder what the big deal is. But to any who are in the stronghold of emotional dependency, I pray my words offer you the hope that freedom is available and possible for YOU! The two resources God used to show me my bondage and way to freedom were EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCY by Lori Rentzel and PLEASE DON’T SAY YOU NEED ME by Jan Silvious. To God be the glory for the writing of both and the effect they have had on my life. It is now my sincere desire to help point others to the only One who can and will set them free. That One is Jesus Christ!

Father, I cannot find the words to thank you fully for all You have done! I am free and I can’t get over the wonder of it! I praise You! Amen.

Staying Free

Of them the proverbs are true: “A dog returns to its vomit,” and, “A sow that is washed goes back to her wallowing in the mud.” 2 Peter 2:22 (New International Version)

What a vivid picture is painted with these words. As true as they are for dogs and pigs, they are more so for people. Experiencing freedom from bondage and sin is exhilarating, but oh the devastation to find oneself returning to the very thing you had been released from. The “vomit and mud” of our past can easily become part of our present if we allow it. For some, finding freedom may have taken years, but a return to the bondage can happen within minutes! Just one taste of what you begged God to free you from can entangle you once again. Whatever the addiction or sinful behavior was, is what we must continue to stand guard against and alert to. So how is that done? How do we “stand fast in the liberty in which Christ has made us free and not return to the bondage?” (Gal. 5:1) It necessitates seeing our enemy, our self, and our Source. Be AWARE!

Be aware that you have an enemy who knows you are free and desires nothing more than to allure you back into captivity. Just like the Egyptian army pursued the children of Israel with the intent on taking them back to Egypt and slavery, the enemy of your soul pursues you! You have won a battle for freedom but be assured there will be a war to fight in order to remain free. Satan is not going to just lie down and die. He is going to use every trick and tactic against you. He will use people, circumstances, weaknesses, temptations, counterfeits, and more to attempt to re-enslave you. Don’t give him what he wants. Always choose to stand and fight!

Be aware of your capability to return to bondage. James 1:14 says we are drawn away and enticed by our own lusts. That which first drew you into bondage still lives within you. Be aware of your areas of vulnerability and weakness. Set up limits for who or what you are involved. It will require the severing of unhealthy relationships and activities. Know the truth about your own sin nature and what you must avoid at all costs. Ask God to continually remind you of the pain you experienced that was used to birth in you a desire for freedom in the first place.

Be aware that your Source for continued freedom is Christ! Keep your eyes on Him and nurture yourself with the things that keep you close to Him. Feed on His Word, prayer, Christian fellowship, supplementary reading, inspiring music, and whatever else encourages your faith. Just as He set you free, He will keep you free as you cooperate with Him. Talk to Him, listen to Him, and yield to Him. He is passionate about you and your freedom!

Father, may I never forget the pain of bondage and the desire for freedom. Keep my passion for You foremost in my mind. May my bondage be to You alone! Captivate me with Yourself. Amen.

Hearing the Invitation

But I am poor and needy; yet the LORD thinks upon me. You are my help and my deliverer; do not delay, O my God. Psalm 40:17 (New King James Version)

My ability to see God as my help and deliverer begins with the realization of my neediness and bondage. Until I see the truth of my mindsets and internal world I will not see the necessity of allowing God to come to my aid. As long as I walk in independence of Him I will not be able to establish my dependence on Him. These truths became clear to me one morning as I journaled a note to myself and began to see the extent of my own neediness and God’s extravagant offer of fulfillment. What follows is a look into the first of many steps toward freedom for me. With tears and timidity I wrote:

You do not like feelings of loneliness and insignificance. When they come you seek to anesthetize them through contact with people. Although a phone call or good email will relieve you for a moment the feelings stay hidden in the shadows only to resurface a short time later. Let them be what draw you to God for comfort and company. Each can be an opportunity to cry out to Him for His filling and presence. God desires to fill you with an awareness of His deep love. You have yet to fully embrace that truth and live out of its experience. That is why you are still looking to other sources. All your desire for affection, attention, affirmation, encouragement, and security is legitimate but the way you go about attempting to receive it all is where the problem lies. Allow God to show you His availability and capability to be your All in All. Allow Him to be the One to nurture and protect you. Receive your true identity from Christ. This is not a matter of success versus failure. It is a process! You live in a fallen world and possess a fallen nature, therefore you will always be in need of Him. The deepest places in you need His touch. Open yourself up to receive all He longs to give you on a daily basis. Don’t feel that because you still experience these feelings and longings that you aren’t “getting it.” You have spent so many years looking to substitutes that looking to God needs to be learned and experienced. Whether it is every 5 minutes or every hour keep pressing in to Him. Keep looking to Him. Keep resting in Him. Let Him saturate your entire being so that relationships can be a joy rather than an attempt to get your needs met. Value the ones who are in your life at the present. Relate to them out of your relationship with your Father. You are precious in His sight and He will complete the work He has started in you. He is wooing you to Himself even now. Reach out and receive all that He extends to you. Accept His invitation to be completely loved by Him.

I had to ask myself, “How do I refuse an offer like that?” I am finding that not only does God extend such a radical invitation to me, He does amazing things when I dare to take Him up on it. As I am learning to look to Him for comfort and direction, I am able to let my friends off the hook for being primary need meeters in my life. To God be the glory because without Him THAT would never have happened.

Father, I never rested long enough to hear Your words of invitation to me. I now turn to You to find what no one else could supply for me. Amen.

Sought Out

As a shepherd seeks out his flock on the day he is among his scattered sheep, so will I seek out My sheep and deliver them from all the places where they were scattered on a cloudy and dark day. Ezekiel 34:12 (New King James Version)

If I read the 34th chapter of Ezekiel and see it only as a passage spoken to and about the nation of Israel thousands of years ago, it will have little affect upon my Christian life. It will bring me little comfort or hope. That which would put me in bondage and fear will appear indestructible and inescapable. BUT if I allow God to speak those same words to me and I own them for myself then they become promises I can claim as my way of escape and victory. I choose to do the latter!

I enjoy being the recipient of God’s seeking, feeding, nurturing, deliverance, and care. He knows me intuitively and intimately and stands ready and willing to meet every need I would bring to Him. He is a tender Shepherd full of compassion and mercy. No matter my situation, no matter my stronghold, no matter my depravity, He makes Himself completely responsible to shepherd me emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and socially. I will never find Him unavailable, disinterested, distracted, or distant. His ear is always open to my verbalized and non verbalized cries for help. As I learn to press in to Him on a daily basis, I am experiencing an aspect of the Christian life that I never knew could be experienced. That of taking my deepest needs to the only One who can meet them.

This morning I drink in His precious words to me and to any who would receive them for themselves. These are the words I embrace and find hope in with delight: Behold, I, even I, will both search my sheep, and seek them out. I will feed my flock, and I will cause them to lie down. I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick. They shall be safe in their land, and shall know that I am the LORD, when I have broken the bands of their yoke, and delivered them. They shall dwell in safety, and none shall make them afraid. Thus shall they know that I the LORD their God am with them, and that they, are my people, saith the LORD God. (Ezekiel 34:11, 15, 16, 27, 28, 29)

He has given us His word that He will do all of this and more for us if we will but let Him. We need not fear that He has ever withdrawn His offer. His back will not be turned. His ears will not be shut. His welcome mat will not be pulled in. He has freely offered to be our Deliverer. All the glory goes to Him as He brings us to the place of accepting His invitation.

Father, thank you for your words of life and the grace that helps me receive them for myself. Amen.

And the Scales Fell

And immediately there fell from his eyes as it had been scales: and he received sight forthwith, and arose, and was baptized. Acts 9:18 (King James Version)

Saul (later called Paul) had been physically blinded by a bright light from Heaven and spiritually blinded by the realization that everything he based his spirituality on was counter to the very God he thought he was serving. He was bankrupt of any eternal treasure he thought he had stored up. Blinded and broken was his condition when God sent Ananias to lay hands on him and speak a blessing of healing over him. The result was instant sight as the scales fell from his eyes. What started out on a road to Damascus ended on a path through life that included preaching, prison, and penning many books of the New Testament.

This morning I am seeing correlations of Paul’s life in my own. Although I have never been physically blind, I have faced the realization that my own “spirituality” has often been faulty. That which I thought was bringing me closer to God was actually hindering me from really knowing Him on an intimate level. For decades I was on a road strewn with legalism and performance. What I thought would gain me God’s love, favor, and acceptance actually left me bankrupt and empty. Once I realized God’s love was not dependent on what I was doing, I stepped off my road of self effort and knew I was on a different path. For a time (two years to be exact) I thought all was well. God has been gracious to reveal to me the truth.

While I was no longer “performing” for Him, I was still detoured in many ways. Not by religious activity but by meaningful relationships. I had unknowingly mistaken the high of friendships for closeness to God. A life time of looking to individuals to meet my deepest internal needs for love, approval, affirmation, and acceptance was finally exposed in a painful way. Saul waited three days for the scales to fall. I waited a year and a half! Tears, confusion, and fear marked my path as I slowly came to grips with the depths of my own propensity toward idolatry…not of statues but of significant people. I thought the truth of this would do me in but instead it has laid the ground work for freedom.

I am presently on a journey of discovery. It entails seeing the areas in my life that need God’s touch of grace and redemption as well as coming to know a God who can truly meet every need I have and satisfy me in a way that I have never known. The scales have fallen and what I am seeing for the first time is taking my breath away!

Father, I use to fear exposure but now I welcome it. In Your presence I am free to see the truth about myself and ecstatic to see the truth about You! Amen.

Given and Received

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27 (New King James Version)

A troubled heart and fear can be two very disturbing things in the life of a believer. We all experience them in one way or another. Today, Jesus desires for us to hear Him whisper His words of peace over any trouble or fear that we are presently sensing. Whether it is with finances, health, relationships, occupations, possessions, dreams, or any other area, His words apply. The same Jesus who spoke to the storm at sea and instantly the wind and waves died down. The same Jesus who raised the dead, healed diseases, fed thousands with a single lunch, and came back to life. The same Jesus who gives the peace speaks the words of peace. It was not and is not a cliché or pat answer. It is still promised today just as it was to His disciples and it is offered to all who will receive it for themselves.

I was once again reminded of the need to make wise choices. My troubled heart and fearful thoughts are presently stemming from my own thinking and the suggestions of the enemy. He never comes in full force, but instead brings slight movement to my internal sea of emotions. If I don’t do battle at the first sign of trouble the stirring gets more profound. The longer I wait, the more fierce the storm that brews. I am learning not to let it get to the point of a full force hurricane! I can no longer claim ignorance to his methods and persistence. As long as I am drawing breath on this earth, he is going to be prowling and looking for the most effective way to attack me. I do not have to let him and I do not have to allow my heart to become troubled because of him.

I also do not have to fear that somehow I will fail the tests, lose the battle, be abandoned by my Abba Father, find myself alone and defenseless, or be completely removed from the precious journey He has me on. Each attack, each struggle, each battle, becomes a means of strengthening me for the next. I am continually learning better ways to fight. I no longer feel like a sitting duck. At least now I am a moving target…and one who is praying Scripture and singing praises as I move. I am learning the power of my words and God’s Words. At times I have believers who come along side me to cheer me on and straighten me out. I value them highly. But at ALL times, the God of Heaven and Earth stands with me in incredible ways. I revel in that!

Father, I claim Your words as my own today. I receive the peace You offer to me. Anoint me afresh! Amen.

Taking Charge

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5 (King James Version)

The purposes, thoughts, perceptions, and schemes of my mind are significant. They are powerful enough to direct the course of my day. If left unattended they can run rampant and cause major trouble for me. Until recently I was not too good at taking charge of the things that entered my mind or the things I proceeded to dwell on. Once a negative thought toward myself or another individual became a part of my thinking process, I either let it take over or had some ineffective battles with it. Usually my attempt at controlling my thoughts was to simply counter them with better thoughts. If it was a lie I would try to think on what was true. If it was negative, I would try to think of something positive. If I couldn’t ignore it I felt I could at least replace it. I thought this was what the Bible meant when it said to take every thought captive. At best I was barely staying ahead of the mental games. My thoughts were still more in charge than I was.

God has had to open my eyes to something I was missing. He did so by bringing today’s verse to mind. Within it are housed two essential steps for finally being in control of my thoughts. Step one is to cast down the subtle imaginations and speculations that come across my mental path. Much like a wall the enemy is attempting to build with one “brick” at a time, I am to pull down and demolish the construction of the wall. Step two is to then lead the thought away like I would a prisoner. And where better to lead the thought than straight to the throne room of God, where He will then cast it into outer darkness. It is not only a demolition, it is a dethroning!

The incredible part is that this does not take a long time to do. As soon as I am aware of an approaching dangerous thought, my effective prayer is as follows: I cast that thought down and command it to go right to the throne room of God! I ask for a fresh anointing of my mind by the Spirit of God and the blood of Christ. I take authority over my mind and my thoughts. In Jesus name I pray, amen. Sometimes the prayer may vary but the content remains. This prayer was birthed in me just three days ago and I am in open mouthed wonder at the powerful effect it has had on me. I gladly offer it to any who are barely battling their own thoughts. I am breathing the first precious breaths of emotional and mental freedom that I have known little of in my Christian life. To God be the glory!

Father, I praise You for the power of effective prayer. Rule my life as I reign in my thoughts. The many trips to Your throne room each day are a delight! Amen.

All Inclusive and Possible

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” Mark 10:27 (New International Version)

Jesus’ answer to His disciples regarding their confusion over something He said, is quickly becoming a needed ray of hope for me. While I could have quoted this verse with ease many times, I am finding there are places in my life where I have failed to appropriate it and believe it with confidence. Like the rooms of a house, there are areas I have conveniently closed the door to with the mind set that those parts of me will never change. I have come to view them as permanent and unfixable. Although the desire for transformation has been strong the hope has been non existent. While I could express it in many different ways, the bottom line is that I didn’t believe God would ever do a radical work in me. Others could be changed, healed, and set free but not me. I felt like my particular strongholds, addictions, and weaknesses were my permanent lot in life and it would simply be a matter of asking for the grace to fight them. But true change and deliverance was not what I dared to hope for.

It was this realization of resignation that God has used to actually give me hope. In light of today’s verse, I can now see that what I believed to be hopeless and permanent was simply another bold faced lie of the enemy! When God says “all” He means ALL! All things are possible with Him and that includes (not excludes) my personal areas of struggle and sin. I am not an exception. I am not a lost cause. I am not unfixable. I am not an impossibility. I am a prime candidate for His miraculous work of transformation and deliverance. In my day to day life, I can experience old things passing away and all things becoming new!

So starting TODAY I am choosing to believe God for a number of things. I am believing Him for transformation of my mind and heart. I am believing Him for the breaking of ALL strongholds and addictions. I am believing Him for freedom. I am believing Him for a new way to live life. I am believing Him to do all that is impossible for me to do. By God’s grace I am point blank believing Him. And with that belief, I choose to live with a renewed hope. My self imposed life sentence has just been revoked and I am stepping out of the prison of lies and limitations. I am now ready to live as if the miracle has already taken place!

Father, I confess my sin of unbelief to You. I look to You to do what only You can do in me. I receive Your promise of healing and wholeness. Amen.

Choosing to Refuse

Do not receive an accusation against an elder except from two or three witnesses. I Timothy 5:19 (New King James Version)

My opinion of another person needs to be based on truth. That is the reason God established the principal that accusations must be based and received on the basis of several eye witnesses. Whether it is within the walls of a church, a place of business, or ones home a spirit of accusation is alive and well and must be recognized and rebuked at all times.

I can think of three sources of false accusations that I must be acutely aware of and on guard against. They would be other people, Satan, and myself. It is imperative that I not allow the words of one person to sway my opinion about another person, especially when it puts the other person in a bad light. I would be wise to consider the fact that what they are saying may not even be true. Since we cannot see another person’s thoughts, heart, intentions, or motives, we have to be careful when someone claims to know such things. Often the things we are hearing are based more upon what someone else said to them, rather than on what was actually witnessed by them. Giving the accused the benefit of the doubt would go a long way.

Scripture refers to Satan as the “accuser of the brethren” and he takes his role seriously. He is a master at accusing us before God and one another. He loves to twist and distort things until someone stands in the worst possible light. Many have been the number of relationships ruined because of lies fed to us by the father of lies. We would be wise to ask God to reveal to us whether or not Satan is behind the spirit of accusation that runs rampant through our minds and our conversations.

While I must be careful not to receive accusations that come from people and Satan, I must be even more careful to question and reject the accusations that are birthed within my own mind from my own places of brokenness and sin. In times of personal disappointment my mind can readily think up many false accusations about another person and then proceed to dwell on them. I must be on my guard during the times I begin to read between the lines, misinterpret another’s words or actions, or draw wrong conclusions based on unmet needs. While there may be times my perception is right, there are many more times it is not.

When I find myself changing my opinion of another person based on one of these three sources, I must ask God to give me discernment as to whether or not I am hearing the truth. If I am uncertain, it would be best to reject the accusation rather than believe and receive it. May I be willing to give others the benefit of the doubt and guard their reputations in my mind.

Father, I cringe at the times I have too readily accepted a false accusation about You, another person, or even myself. Help me to walk in the light and hold to the truth every time. Amen.

Owning the Words

And he said, “O man greatly beloved, fear not! Peace be to you; be strong, yes, be strong!” So when he spoke to me I was strengthened, and said, “Let my lord speak, for you have strengthened me.” Daniel 10:19 (New King James Version)

To see yourself as God’s greatly beloved and to receive strength and encouragement from Him, is when the Christian life becomes one of intimacy, growth, and security. For decades, I knew very little of either of these experiences. Rather than look to God for my identity, completeness, and encouragement, I looked to people. Their view of me and words to me could either put me on a mountain of high emotion or plunge me into a valley of despair. The tranquility of my soul rested solely on them. I did not know what it was like to sense that God viewed me as precious, desirable, beautiful, valuable, goodly, or His treasure. I did not know what it was like to receive from God those things my soul craved. Although I knew Jesus as my Savior, my attention and internal appetites were directed toward people rather than toward Him.

Even in the midst of my present journey which began in February of 2004 this has often been the case. While I have taken in wonderful truths about God and seen Him birth a devotional ministry out of those truths, there was still something missing. It wasn’t until I began reading a book by Henri Nouwen called THE INNER VOICE OF LOVE that I understood the continued battle. It is a book that adequately portrays me. Within its pages I was able to finally see myself. While I was learning the truth about God’s love and His desire to fill me with that love, I was not living out of the experience of embracing it for myself. Many times they were still words on a page to me. That is why I continued to look to other sources. I was still thinking that knowledge of God equated relationship with Him. There were times I would experience the relationship but for the most part my need for people was still over powering my personal connection with God.

The few people I would confide in could see this and I believe they have been lifting me up in prayer. The real turning point came when I finally admitted the truth to myself and to God. It has been through honest dialogue with Him that my heart and mind are changing. What use to fill me with shame, I now share openly with you. I am learning to receive His love and His words to me as His beloved. And I am learning to verbalize to Him what is going on inside of me so my needs can finally be met by Him. Instead of feeling exposed and vulnerable (as the enemy would hope for), I feel free!

I love the song YOU RAISE ME UP and treasure it more as I come to realize God is the One Whom I now look to, to raise me up!

Father, I am finally finding my home in You. Amen.

Being Mindful to Move On

And truly, if they had been mindful of that country from whence they came out, they might have had opportunity to have returned. Hebrews 11:15 (King James Version)

Where my mind goes my heart will follow. Often were the times the children of Israel longed for a return to Egypt even though it was a place of bondage. When life became difficult and they couldn’t see what lay ahead, they wished to be back in another place and time. This longing kept them from fully experiencing the present and anticipating the future. The heroes of faith listed in Hebrews 11 knew better. They knew that allowing themselves to think about the places they had been to rather than where they were at could affect their faith and focus. Their sites were set on what lay ahead rather than what they left behind.

I must determine, by God’s grace, to follow their example. As the terrain and lessons of my journey go through changes it is easy to think of the comfort zones of my past and yearn to have them back. There are certain circumstances and relationships that nurtured and strengthened me years ago and if given the chance I would probably opt for a return. But if that happened, growth would be stunted and moving forward would be impossible. Imagine a person forever being in kindergarten! Imagine an adult still being held and carried by their parent. What was at one time good and necessary for us would be an absurd hindrance now. The same is true in our walk of faith. It necessitates a ‘letting go and moving on’ lifestyle and mindset. While I may still recall pleasant moments in the past, it is imperative that I not allow the thoughts to consume me and captivate my attention. My main focus must remain on what God is doing in my life now and the direction He is taking me.

While God has used many individuals to help bring me to this point, I am aware there has been a shift. My ability to find my true identity in Christ and fully receive His unconditional love for me is requiring a letting go of many things. Allowing Him to meet my needs and satisfy me at the center of who I am will not be possible if I “return” to the past securities and shelters He once supplied for me. The growing pains of maturing in Christ are felt at times and it is then that I must take hold of Him rather than reach out for what use to be. My faith and my focus must ever be in and on Him.

Oh, to live out the truths of Philippians 3:13, “Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.” May my desire be for Him.

Father, I treasure the memories with a realization that moving on is necessary. Many relationships have changed but growth continues. Help me to look to You for the care and nurturing my soul craves. Amen.

The Reward of Death

I die daily. I Corinthians 15:31 (King James Version)

I have spent the last year and a half keeping alive something in me that needed to die. It was an attitude of my heart and I gave it life every time I recounted the loss, pain, and disappointment. I breathed life into its existence each time I reviewed it in my mind or in conversation with others. While I wanted freedom from the effects it had on me I was unwilling to put it to death…..until recently. God brought me to a point where I saw the attitude for what it was and I realized the price I was paying by keeping it alive.

It is not that I had never confessed it before. I had…many times. It is not that I didn’t want freedom. I did…often. It was that I chose to hold on and refused to let go. As God showed me what I was doing to myself and all that I was missing out on in His kingdom, my hands opened in submission and my heart broke in relinquishment. I knew there was forgiveness but I was not prepared for the sense of freedom that would come. That which I had struggled with and wondered if I would ever be free from, lost its grip as I released mine. I felt like my entire chest cavity had just been cleaned out and an antihistamine had been infused into my spirit. There was no longer the desire to harbor the attitude and feast off its presence.

Jesus said in John 12:24 that “unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it will abide alone. But if it dies it will bring forth much fruit.” Putting to death this attitude in myself through confession, brokenness, and release, has begun to bring forth fruit. The fruit is being seen in different areas. My perspective is coming in line with God’s perspective. Peace and joy are being experienced. And my prayer life is taking on a new dimension. As I intercede for others who battle attitudes of the heart I realize afresh the activity of the enemy in their life, the real source of their pain, and the needed work God will have to do in them. The bondage I lived in and the freedom I experienced will now be used to minister to others.

God has truly brought me through the most difficult circumstance of my life so far. There were times I wasn’t sure deliverance would ever be mine. So often I felt I was a terminal case and hope waned. But God knew better and so did many believers who came along side me and consistently told me the truth. I thank each one of them and praise a God who was intent on my “death.”

Father, I am still in an “I don’t believe it is finally over” mode. My heart is over whelmed with gratitude to You. While there is still work to be done in many areas, I have tasted of freedom that can only come from You. Amen.

Uprooting the Root

Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled. Hebrews 12:14,15 (New King James Version)

I am becoming acutely aware of the fact that my biggest problem is not the circumstances or people in my life. My biggest problem is my own heart. What my heart chooses to hold on to and justify will be what places me in bondage. Until I recognize that and take the appropriate steps to rectify it I will not walk in freedom or daily connection with the heart of God. Neither will I grow or move forward in my Christian life. Today’s passage in Hebrews warns of a root of bitterness which can cause trouble and defilement (contamination).

Like a tangled web of disaster, a root of bitterness can grow to the point of completely covering my heart and my spirit. It can easily bring me to the place where truth is unable to get from my head to my heart and transformation is hindered. Along with that, it can connect and tie me to the very things I want to release. Things like painful experiences, wounds, and heartache. Unless I see the truth of this and act upon it, I will mistakenly focus on the outward circumstances of my life and walk with a victim mentality. It is a place of no comfort, no joy, and no freedom. The Christian life is reduced to empty, painful living.

Why is that a route I and so many others choose? I believe there are a number of reasons. To admit it means I must be honest about what is in my own heart…what I am really like. Once I admit the truth about myself I must take responsibility for my actions and attitudes that have gone awry. With responsibility comes an awareness of a need to change. As long as I can blame my circumstances and others for the way I feel and live, I can somehow hold them responsible for the condition of my life. But that will never bring about change or freedom. That will only keep me in bondage.

If I allow Him, God will expose any root of bitterness and through confession will begin to clear away the tangled mess. As I embrace His forgiveness and mercy there is an ability to open my clenched fists and closed heart which finally releases me from my own prison of pain. While it may take awhile to come to this point, the deliverance is instantaneous!

Father, I praise You for exposing my heart and root of bitterness. I receive Your forgiveness and dance in Your freedom. Amen.

He Knows

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are ~ yet without sin. Hebrews 4:15 (New International Version)

Recently, I took comfort in the words of author Henri Nouwen. As I read the following words I could tell he KNEW how I felt. After the demise of a deeply satisfying friendship he wrote, “Intellectually I knew that no human friendship could fulfill the deepest longing of my heart. I knew that only God could give me what I desired. I knew that I had been set on a road where nobody could walk with me but Jesus. But all this knowledge didn’t help me in my pain.” He went on to warn about two extremes to avoid in the midst of pain, “Being completely absorbed in your pain and being distracted by so many things you stay far away from the wound you want to heal.” I drank in his words because he had been where I am at and I finally felt someone understood! It is through his personal hurts, agony, and sorrow that he can so eloquently address mine. Although he no longer lives in this world, his books are strengthening and comforting me as so few people seem to be able to do.

This is the same picture I need to get of Jesus. He can sympathize with me. He understands even better than Henri Nouwen how I feel. He knew heartache, abandonment, and rejection in far greater ways than I will ever experience, and yet He will not treat my circumstance as unimportant. He has healing for me and knows I have yet to fully experience it. He sees the times I try to anesthetize the pain with more relationships, more activities, even more intake of Scripture. He knows the search that seems to yield so few results. He knows the struggle I have to implement what well meaning people advise. He knows how easily I want to hide or deny my own thoughts and feelings. He knows the times my spirit and my shoulders slump in hopelessness. But He also knows none of this is the end of the story. He already knows the day truth will finally set me free.

For now, I hold on to the hope, hand, and robe of my High Priest who identifies with me and upholds me. As one song so aptly states it, “His strength is perfect when our strength is gone.” He continues to whisper His reminders to me and listens as I whisper my thoughts back to Him. In the aloneness of every day life, He is my constant Companion and Confidante.

Father, may You speak to and touch the deepest parts of me. Amen.

Getting Out of the Way

“O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter?” says the LORD. “Look, as the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in My hand, O house of Israel!” Jeremiah 18:6 (New King James Version)

I have often enjoyed watching the program CLEAN HOUSE. The idea is for the designers to come into a house that is a complete mess, sell as many items as they can in a garage sale, use the money to help finance a house make-over, clean the house, and present the home owners with an unbelievable improvement. I have watched as people get their first view of what has been done. Mouths drop open, tears fall, and gratitude is abundant. But sad to say, there are actually people who get in the way and limit what the designers want to do. They have a hard time giving up anything and once they finally allow things to be put up for sale they are out there reclaiming the items. They had two problems. They resisted change and they didn’t trust the designers. In the end the designers are not always able to do all that they had wanted to do.

It has not taken much for God to show me the similarities between these people and myself in a spiritual realm. I, too, have resisted change, reclaimed things I once yielded, and found myself blocking the Designer of my life. I say I want to be transformed. I say I want God to have His way in my life. I say I want Him to do what is for His glory and my good. But when it comes down to the actual process I see myself resisting His work. Like the people on CLEAN HOUSE, I often resist change and lack trust in the Designer. This revelation has woken me up!

I don’t want to get to the end of my life and realize God had so much more to do in me and through me than I allowed. And I don’t want my time here on earth to be spent embracing the very things He wants to replace. His ways are higher than my ways. His plans are better than my plans. He understands my tears and my fears and with each He simply says, “Trust Me. Cooperate with Me. Yield to Me.” Whatever or whomever He chooses to remove from my life, He removes with nail scarred hands and a love filled heart. His exchanges are NEVER a down scale interaction. They are always an improvement!

So this morning, I once again take His hand and choose to embrace His grace rather than my pain. His freedom rather than my fear. His joy rather than my sorrow. He never said it would be easy but He did say it would be worth it! I am ready to get out of the way as He works to woo me to Himself and make me like Himself.

Father, You know me better than anyone else does. I am finally ready to trust You with abandon. Have Your way and will in my life. Amen.

A Banner to Wave

To Him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before His glorious presence without fault and with great joy. Jude 24 (New International Version)

Many have been the times I have looked at my Christian life and wondered if I was doing anything right. The enemy would parade my failures and poor choices in front of me and the procession who bring about shame, condemnation, and guilt. He had me convinced much of my growth and journey rested on my shoulders and I had to somehow muster up the energy to keep pace with demands and requirements. It was like wearing cinder blocks on my feet and lead chains on my spirit. Burdensome, hard, and nearly impossible were the slogans that greeted me along the way. But the twenty-fourth verse of Jude makes a clean sweep of that way of thinking!

This morning I once again take in God’s involvement in my life and the end result of His involvement. He has the capability, strength, and willingness to keep me established in my faith. He is like a father who has a firm grip on a toddler’s hand and keeps him upright and moving forward. His eye is on every move I make! As I was reminded earlier this week, we are each ordinary people who serve an extraordinary God! He invites us to take His yoke upon us and He will carry the vast majority of the weight. Even though I am aware of the necessity for me to cooperate with Him and walk in obedience to Him, He is the one infusing me with the power to do so. It rests on Him and He takes that very seriously!

But I am also aware of the end of the story. I do not have to fear standing before Him one day and wonder how I will be viewed and accepted. Because of His work in me, I will stand before Him without reproach, fault, blemish, or blame and while I do so, He and I will both have extreme joy over it! He will be the reason for the celebration and exultation! His grace, His mercy, and His transforming work will be the basis for my stability and my stand.

So the next time the enemy of my soul invites me to his distorted parade, Jude 24 will be my banner of triumph to wave and my sword to wield. His view and his interpretation are no match for that of my Father! The same is true for any who know Him as Savior. Christ longs for us to finally see the truth and to embrace it!

Father, Your Word is what I hold up today as my shield and my sword. May I remind myself and the enemy of what You say about my life in You. Amen.

The Results of Practice

But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil. Hebrews 5:14 (New American Standard Bible)

Our actions and words are driven by our thoughts and intentions of our heart. Change the thoughts and you change the actions. That is what Romans 12:2 means when it says, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” And Philippians 4:8 gives us a list of what our thoughts should be directed toward: whatever is true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of a good report, and praiseworthy. Those words should not only describe our thoughts, they should also describe our words and actions.

So how does one go from thinking, saying, and doing the wrong things, to thinking, saying, and doing the right things? Practice! If I want to become good at discerning between good and evil, I must put into use the right choices on a daily basis. Each time I act upon what I know to be true and think upon what I know to be right, I sharpen my senses for discernment and sound judgment. If God is going to change my life it will be through the reformation of my mind. But it is imperative that I take the things He is showing me and I put them into practice as the opportunities arise. This will not happen by accident. It must be purposeful, determined living. My will and thinking must give way to His Spirit and His truth.

Old ways of thinking will only lose their hold on me as I choose to release them. Often that is easier said than done. I find there are times I will readily take in truth but releasing what has been comfortable or familiar to me is what is difficult. Change is forthcoming when the results of my way of thinking are no longer enjoyable. As Anais Nier so aptly stated, “And then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” My blossoming happens every time I allow God to expose the lies I have come to believe and then choose to replace them with the truth. It is a necessary process I go through EVERY time my feelings, emotions, and thoughts become skewed. Any more, when I have a negative response to something that is said or done to me, I automatically start searching for the lie and then the truth. That practice is maturing me in my walk of faith. Because it has taken me so long to learn this and because it is still so new to me, I marvel each time it works! The freedom astounds me and the change moves me to a deeper appreciation for the work of God in my life. The doubts I once had as to whether or not this could work for me have been replaced by tested experience! I praise Him!

Father, guide me through the steps of sound practice and good choices today. I know the results will be powerful as I cooperate fully with You. Amen.

Back on Track

Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You I wait all the day. Psalm 25:5 (New American Standard Bible)

I have a passion for God and sometimes that passion can head me off in some wrong directions. There are certain things I long for God to do in my life and in my eagerness to see Him work I can easily take matters into my own hands and find myself on a trail of my own making. Without a continual looking to Him and a patient, expectant waiting on Him, I can simply get off balanced and off track. I can even divert my attention from His leading and teaching to that of others.

How do I know when this has happened? My stability gets shaky, my joy diminishes, my energy wanes, confusion sets in, and I begin to feel lost. A heaviness affects my walk and my heart. When any of these things begin to mark my day I know something is amiss and before long I am in search of an answer. God is gracious to give me the answer as soon as I direct my attention and my questions toward Him. Such was the case yesterday.

I recently became aware of the personal effects that stem from being brought up in a home with alcoholism. I didn’t realize that there are similar characteristics for those who shared a parallel background. There is even a name for it……Adult Children of Alcoholics. They have books. They have meetings. They have information. As I began to make some connections between my thought processes and actions as an adult with the events of my childhood, I plunged into a river of information. The trouble was that it was too much too fast and what should have been a helpful tool became an overload on my emotions as well as my spirit.

God’s solution? Set it all aside for now and return to the truths of Scripture. While God can certainly use the books, meetings, and experiences of others to help me understand myself better, He wants me to know that ultimately the healing and wholeness will come from Him. So yesterday I began re-reading a book by Neil Anderson called Who I Am In Christ and last night I went for a walk and immersed myself in some life-giving music. I can already sense a return to ‘normal’ as I once again look to God to lead me and teach me. I wouldn’t want it any other way!

Father, keep drawing me back to Yourself every time I walk a path that is not of You. I want deep healing that comes from You rather than one I attempt through self effort. I wait, watch, and rest. Amen.