Better Than Secret Love

Open rebuke is better than secret love. Proverbs 27:5 (King James Version)

I have never been a person who enjoys being rebuked. Does anyone? The first time I saw this verse I cringed. It conjured up in my mind an angry person glaring at me while spewing out harsh, condemning words. After the rebuke ended I would then walk away in shame and condemnation. Not a comfortable thought and not an accurate picture of this verse!

Last week I received an email that epitomized this verse in a beautiful way. While the person had to be direct with me and say some things that were difficult to read, it was done in a way that showed me her heart and desire for God’s blessing on my life. While the initial sting of rebuke was felt, my spirit quickly detected the truth in her email and that is what arrested my attention and my heart. I knew without a doubt that freedom and growth would come if I heeded her warnings and advice.

So what does an open rebuke entail? First, it should come about after much prayer. I believe this person prayed and desired God’s message to come across to me. Second, it should be based on truth! Her rebuke involved truth about my wrong choices, truth about the consequences if I continued in the direction I was headed, truth about what God really wants to do in my life, and truth about her desire for God’s favor and freedom in my life. Third, it should include a directive. She left no question as to what I should do….fully cooperate with God.

Call it tough love. Call it truth telling. Call it open rebuke. Whatever we label it, it is better than a love that sits idly by and remains silent. I don’t know about anyone else, but when I am headed in the wrong direction and in the process of making unwise choices I want what is best. Give me the open rebuke! But do it in love and with a heart that is living connected to God. Let me see that your words are not spoken out of impatience and with a ”last straw” mentality. Be the mouthpiece of God with absolutely no compromise of the truth.

On my part, I too must be daily connecting with God and desiring truth to be my compass and rudder. As God works and develops in me a tender, teachable spirit, I will have no trouble knowing when an open rebuke is coming from Him through another individual. I will have no trouble seeing the truth and then acting on it.

Will it be easy? Rarely. Will there ever be tears? Most likely. Will others understand? Maybe a few. But God’s voice and direction will be clear and the growth will be astounding. Like it says in John 8:32, “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”

Father, thank you for the one who was willing to speak the truth in love. Your message came through loud and clear. Keep my heart tender and teachable toward You. And when necessary, help my open rebukes to be as loving and truthful. Amen.