Back on Track

Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You I wait all the day. Psalm 25:5 (New American Standard Bible)

I have a passion for God and sometimes that passion can head me off in some wrong directions. There are certain things I long for God to do in my life and in my eagerness to see Him work I can easily take matters into my own hands and find myself on a trail of my own making. Without a continual looking to Him and a patient, expectant waiting on Him, I can simply get off balanced and off track. I can even divert my attention from His leading and teaching to that of others.

How do I know when this has happened? My stability gets shaky, my joy diminishes, my energy wanes, confusion sets in, and I begin to feel lost. A heaviness affects my walk and my heart. When any of these things begin to mark my day I know something is amiss and before long I am in search of an answer. God is gracious to give me the answer as soon as I direct my attention and my questions toward Him. Such was the case yesterday.

I recently became aware of the personal effects that stem from being brought up in a home with alcoholism. I didn’t realize that there are similar characteristics for those who shared a parallel background. There is even a name for it……Adult Children of Alcoholics. They have books. They have meetings. They have information. As I began to make some connections between my thought processes and actions as an adult with the events of my childhood, I plunged into a river of information. The trouble was that it was too much too fast and what should have been a helpful tool became an overload on my emotions as well as my spirit.

God’s solution? Set it all aside for now and return to the truths of Scripture. While God can certainly use the books, meetings, and experiences of others to help me understand myself better, He wants me to know that ultimately the healing and wholeness will come from Him. So yesterday I began re-reading a book by Neil Anderson called Who I Am In Christ and last night I went for a walk and immersed myself in some life-giving music. I can already sense a return to ‘normal’ as I once again look to God to lead me and teach me. I wouldn’t want it any other way!

Father, keep drawing me back to Yourself every time I walk a path that is not of You. I want deep healing that comes from You rather than one I attempt through self effort. I wait, watch, and rest. Amen.