Seeing My Need to Ask

"I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 (New American Standard Bible)

Jesus’ words are encouraging me this morning like bookends for my spirit. Apart from Him I can do nothing and through Him I can do all things. In order to fully embrace those truths I must first realize my own internal bankruptcy. For unless I am absolutely convinced of my inability to do the very things I am told to do, I will live daily with an “I can do it myself” mentality that is futile at best.

I use to look at such things as loving one another, forgiving one another, preferring one another, encouraging one another, and so on, as things I was to somehow manage and muster up on my own. As long as I thought that was what God was expecting of me the pressure was on to perform. Yesterday became a wake up call to me that those things will not come naturally to me and will not be realized apart from Christ working in me. In order to see that, I had to be given a long, hard look at my own heart.

I came across a situation whereby irritation, selfishness, judging of another, and preferring myself over another all rose up within me and out of me. It was a moment of truth for me that was not pleasant to look at but led to a powerful revelation. I knew at that moment that I could change some actions but true heart change could only come through the Spirit of God and the Word of God. Asking for God to help me and do a work in me was what He had been wanting me to do all along.

Surely, God must have been delighted to finally hear me say, “I can’t do this without You! I cannot change my heart without You and I cannot live the Christian life without Your help!” Those words became the key to open the door to reliance and dependence upon the very One who said, “Come unto Me, seek Me, lean on Me, ask Me, trust Me, rest in Me, abide with Me, learn of Me, look to Me, and talk to Me.” I have been hearing His commands but missing His invitation all along. What He wants me to do is what He offers to help me do. Whether it has to do with my actions toward others, resisting temptation, breaking strongholds, purifying my mind, having right motives, or any number of things, I can do nothing apart from Him and all things through Him. Praise God! It is not about my personality, natural abilities, or temperament. It is about me seeing my need of Him and I do.

Father, I am shaking my head in amazement at the many times I have tried to live independent of You and thought I was doing the right thing. I joy in finally admitting I NEED You! Amen.