Taken the Wrong Way

Then Saul became very angry, for this saying displeased him; and he said, "They have ascribed to David ten thousands, but to me they have ascribed thousands. Now what more can he have but the kingdom?" Saul looked at David with suspicion from that day on. 1 Samuel 18:8,9 (New American Standard Bible)

A hero’s welcome for David ignited a spirit of suspicion, jealousy, and hatred in King Saul that eventually led him to a strong desire to see David dead. He never saw the truth of his own heart and therefore never dealt with the very thing that became his ruin. Ruled by his own sense of insecurity, loneliness, and self centeredness, Saul spent his life playing the comparison game. When women greeted David with songs of acclamation for his victories in war, they meant it as a celebration but Saul took it as a personal insult to himself.

There are times when God uses the weaknesses of others in Scripture to pinpoint and highlight areas of concern in my own life. I wish I could read this account of Saul and not have any idea where he was coming from but that just isn’t the case. I relate all too well with not only his thoughts and feelings but with his actions as well. Although I would never seek the life of an individual, I have entertained the worst of thoughts toward them. I have played out scenarios in my mind and embraced them as truth. The effects of doing so have brought about painful consequences.

This morning, God and I are delving into the undercurrent of taking things personal. It happens every time I attach a negative reason, motive, or agenda to another person’s actions or lack of actions. I presume to know what they are thinking and respond to that perception. What makes it so difficult is that what I am thinking is actually feasible….the enemy makes sure I know that. Once I have an idea embedded in my mind everything else seems to go out the window and I am on my way to the bedrock of my flesh.

God and I are looking over the list of offenses and disappointments that I have been harboring just in the last week. The discomfort of how that is effecting me is what is causing me to cry out to Him for answers. He has shown me the problem and now I look to Him to show me the solution. It will necessitate a heart change and a transformed way of thinking and those come only through His work in me and my cooperation with Him. I have been on this journey long enough to know that when God reveals an area of weakness to me it is to show me what He intends to work on rather than to condemn me. I rest in that thought.

Father, at times I do well in fighting the battles. At other times I drop all resistance and live in defeat. You have better plans for me and I look to you for the necessary change needed. Amen.

Praise You With the Dance - Casting Crowns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RjNcOqwpRk&feature=related

I welcome your questions and comments to any devotional thoughts. I am honored and delighted to share my journey with you and privileged to hear of yours.