And the Scales Fell

And immediately there fell from his eyes as it had been scales: and he received sight forthwith, and arose, and was baptized. Acts 9:18 (King James Version)

Saul (later called Paul) had been physically blinded by a bright light from Heaven and spiritually blinded by the realization that everything he based his spirituality on was counter to the very God he thought he was serving. He was bankrupt of any eternal treasure he thought he had stored up. Blinded and broken was his condition when God sent Ananias to lay hands on him and speak a blessing of healing over him. The result was instant sight as the scales fell from his eyes. What started out on a road to Damascus ended on a path through life that included preaching, prison, and penning many books of the New Testament.

This morning I am seeing correlations of Paul’s life in my own. Although I have never been physically blind, I have faced the realization that my own “spirituality” has often been faulty. That which I thought was bringing me closer to God was actually hindering me from really knowing Him on an intimate level. For decades I was on a road strewn with legalism and performance. What I thought would gain me God’s love, favor, and acceptance actually left me bankrupt and empty. Once I realized God’s love was not dependent on what I was doing, I stepped off my road of self effort and knew I was on a different path. For a time (two years to be exact) I thought all was well. God has been gracious to reveal to me the truth.

While I was no longer “performing” for Him, I was still detoured in many ways. Not by religious activity but by meaningful relationships. I had unknowingly mistaken the high of friendships for closeness to God. A life time of looking to individuals to meet my deepest internal needs for love, approval, affirmation, and acceptance was finally exposed in a painful way. Saul waited three days for the scales to fall. I waited a year and a half! Tears, confusion, and fear marked my path as I slowly came to grips with the depths of my own propensity toward idolatry…not of statues but of significant people. I thought the truth of this would do me in but instead it has laid the ground work for freedom.

I am presently on a journey of discovery. It entails seeing the areas in my life that need God’s touch of grace and redemption as well as coming to know a God who can truly meet every need I have and satisfy me in a way that I have never known. The scales have fallen and what I am seeing for the first time is taking my breath away!

Father, I use to fear exposure but now I welcome it. In Your presence I am free to see the truth about myself and ecstatic to see the truth about You! Amen.