Not Allowed to Stay

But Ruth said, Do not urge me to leave you or turn back from following you; for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. Thus may the LORD do to me, and worse, if anything but death parts you and me. Ruth 1:16-17 (New American Standard Bible)

God knows, if given the chance, I would have spoken these words to every significant person He ever brought into my life. I wanted each relationship to last a life time! Unlike Ruth though, I was never allowed to continue to stay with or follow my ‘Naomi’ persons. Due to moves and changes, I usually saw the separations as necessary and a part of life. Before long a new person came along and I would thrive in the new relationship.

A year and a half ago, the scene had changed dramatically. There came a time when I was urged (forced) to leave the care of a person I highly respected and upon whom I greatly depended. No more following, no more interacting with, no more counsel, no more support. My desire to stay was not granted and the relationship was promptly put to death! It took awhile for me to come to see the necessity and truth in all of it. I had to go through a season of grief and tears but in time God slowly opened my eyes to His purposes, desires, and hand.

I thought the ending of this relationship would lead to other ones, but I have become aware of something my Father is intentionally doing that He has never done before in my life. He is limiting my access to significant people and He is doing it out of a heart of love for me. While I still have people involved in my life, God is blocking my ability to derive from them what I have always sought in relationships……security, significance, attention, availability, and affirmation. The time I spend with them and the questions I bring to them is limited and the reason is clear to me now.

God’s intent is that I learn to walk out the truths He has spent decades teaching me. To learn to live each day in dependence upon Him and in connection with Him. He wants me to see and hear things for myself and thus gain the spiritual muscles needed to have a walk and life of faith in Him. I have strained at it (and still do at times) but I am coming to a place of accepting it as a good gift from His hands. He knows there is strength and wisdom I will never possess until I am willing to walk most of the time alone with Him. What I have seen in others and desired for myself comes only by a solitary journey of two….my Father and me. I finally agree.


Father, this life lesson has not come easily or without tears. What I have fought so hard against, I now embrace and accept. Things will never be the same and I see now that is a good thing. Amen.


Kathy Troccoli sings "My Life Is In Your Hands"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlmYxZAgrGI

He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food.