No Longer Separated

But your iniquities have separated you from your God; and your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear. Isaiah 59:2 (New King James Version)

So there I stood with my decisions made and feeling I was able to do some things I really wanted to do. That sense of well being lasted a couple hours until I began to notice some distance between God and me. What I wanted so badly was not His desire for me and the sense of His withdrawal was both evident and painful. I had a choice….hold on to my will or exchange it for His will. I will not revisit the many times I chose the first, for it never turned out well. But I will say, I have been on this journey long enough to know nothing (absolutely nothing) is worth more than close, intimate fellowship with my Heavenly Father. I have also been on this journey long enough to know that God is always ready and willing to forgive the wrong choices I make. He received my words, my tears, and my repentance. Even before I could act upon what I knew I had to do, His forgiveness was extended and received. Reconciliation is a wonderful part of being His child!

I want to make something very clear. The things I had decided to do were not sin in themselves, but they were sinful choices in that they were not God’s will for me. He has certain things He is doing in my life and a specific journey He has me on. In order to be the beneficiary of both those things I must embrace His will at all times and at all costs. When I place His will and opinion second to anything I am in the wrong. And according to Isaiah, that will be enough to separate me from Him as well as cause Him to hide His face from me and close His ears to me. As His child I will be able to tell when that has taken place and there will be no rest or peace until I return to Him. My salvation is not lost but the intimacy and communion are!

I do not want to lose the sensitivity His Spirit has birthed in me. At the first sign of His withdrawal I want it to be enough to get my attention and cooperation. How I thank Him that each time I stray He chooses to redirect my steps and my eyes back in His direction. Today I have tasted the bitter fruit of disobedience and the precious fruit of reconciliation. I walk satisfied!

Father, closeness to You is what I crave! Thank you that all barriers to that closeness are easily removed by Your grace. Amen.

Standing Firm

It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1 (New American Standard Bible)

A pastor friend in Canada shared this verse with me last night via email. I didn’t read it until this morning and the message within this verse is different for me than it has been in past readings. In the past, I would have seen this verse as a warning not to be re-enslaved to legalism and performance in my Christian life. But today my “yoke of slavery” has more to do with the opinions of others or rather my constant need to know what others are thinking of me or my plans.

I have spent so many years running ideas past people and desiring to know their opinion that taking steps and moving forward were often limited or hindered by my uncertainties and insecurities. I thought more highly of another person’s ability to direct my steps than in my ability to search a matter out with God. I made decisions based on what they said should or shouldn’t happen. While the Bible clearly encourages us to seek wise counsel, it can become off balanced if we are not discerning. If my seeking is driven by my own weaknesses and phobias than I am not walking by faith. I am walking by fear, frustration, and doubt but not by faith.

God has certainly placed people in my life as encouragers, comforters, and guides, but He never intended for them to be the primary sources in any of those areas. He is to be the primary source and they are simply His conduits!

The past couple of days have been an opportunity for me to make some decisions without consulting people. Even my Canadian pastor friend was not given specifics as to a decision I would ultimately make. And what came of the decisions? I don’t fully know yet. But I do know this, the decisions were between God and me and that in itself gives me a wonderful sense of strength and freedom. I sensed my spirit muscles develop a little more and a smile of peace graces my face this morning. As I choose to live outside my “yoke of slavery” I realize some decisions will be wise and some will be unwise, but just as I learned as a young child to walk amidst many falls, so I will learn this kind of walk as well.

Father, no one desires victory in my Christian life more than You! Therefore, I stand in the confidence that You will be my faithful Guide and Companion. Amen.