My Deliverance Has Come

But You, O GOD, the Lord, deal kindly with me for Your name's sake; because Your lovingkindness is good, deliver me; for I am afflicted and needy, and my heart is wounded within me. Psalm 109:21, 22 (New American Standard Bible)

I rejoice when a present experience becomes a past position. Up until this week, I lived the poignant words of this Psalm….afflicted, needy, and wounded in heart. Wanting desperately to believe deliverance would be mine I had my doubts that I would see it in this life time. I wondered if I would ever be able to say God had delivered me from my pit of despair and sorrow. David testified of it all through Psalm 108. Others have tasted of the freedom that came with such deliverance. I could only view it as an outsider to the experience. When the people in my life tried to assure me that God would in fact deliver me and I would one day know the joy of such a deliverance I wanted to believe it was true but could not see it happening. The affliction, neediness, and wounding were too deep. Too painful. Too dark. Too much.

I have spent the past two years in a wilderness. During this time I have continued to go to church, read necessary books, seek godly counsel, listen to Christian music, write devotionals, pray, seek, and stay in the Word. But all the while the internal darkness abounded and the dependency issues prevailed. I spiraled in and out of emotional pits on a daily and weekly basis. I felt more like a failure than a success. I saw no way out and often resigned myself to the belief that things would never be different for me. That somehow I would spend the rest of my life this way.

I have never been so hopeless in my life and yet it was in this state of mind that God helped me to open my heart and hands to Him and He lovingly took what I thought would be housed in me until Heaven. When I finally saw that I truly needed no one but Him, when I finally desired Him to be the core and center of my life, when I finally fixed my eyes fully on Him I felt the effects of Psalm 107:13, 14 which says, “They cried out to the LORD in their trouble, He saved them out of their distresses. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death and broke their bands apart.” This week I was brought out of my darkness and the bands were broken!

I have now experienced God as my Deliverer. God did what I couldn’t do for myself. Now when I hear of other people’s problems, plights, and pain I can say with all confidence that the One who delivered me can and will deliver them also. It will be the platform on which I stand and minister from this day forward.

Father, I am in awe of You! Amen.

My Deliverer - Chris Tomlin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmGeeNDJzx0&feature=related

Getting into God's Word and letting God's Word get into me one truth at a time.