Mustering or Asking?

If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him! Matthew 7:11

Last night and this morning I have become acutely aware of my tendency to try to muster up what I perceive God is expecting of me. Commands are often viewed as something I need to perform out of my own determination and ability. All the things I still lack in my life become lists I think I need to find in myself to fulfill. Whether it is loving God with all my heart, soul, and mind, having a passion for souls, desiring His Word above all other literature, consistently demonstrating all the fruit of the Spirit, praying without ceasing, loving others with pure motives and tireless willingness, finding complete satisfaction and delight in God alone, looking more to Him and less to people, or any number of other abundant life qualities, I have so often felt God would be more pleased with me if I could manage these things without asking for His help. I viewed Him wrongly as the parent who was impressed with the child who could “do it all by himself.” What I have come to realize is this is the trap of legalism at the heart level. It is still performance based Christianity and polar worlds apart from what God intends.

What I am viewing as personal failures in my life are actually God’s invitation to ask His help! He knows I do not possess the capability to love Him and live for Him without His assistance. He is not looking for me to act independently of Him, but rather to come to the place of realizing how much I need Him to give me the very things He is asking of me. Every time I read something in the Bible that shows me what I should be doing needs to become a call for help! The passion must come from Him. The desire must come from Him. The ability must come from Him.

Several years ago I was astounded at the truth that God’s love is not dependent upon what I am doing. Today I am just as astounded at the truth that without Him I can do nothing! He has been wooing me to Himself and waiting for me to see my need of Him. My inabilities do not disappoint or disgust Him…He already knows my personal poverty! He stands with gifts of help to bestow on any who ask! He is willing to do IN me what He wants OF me. It must be a cooperative relationship whereby I ask Him for what He longs to pour into me. I receive what He willingly gives. My tiredness is finally being exchanged for His rest. Surely I am not His only child who has had it wrong all this time!

Father, continue to clear up the misconceptions I have of You and the Christian life. I lay them all at the foot of the cross and extend open hands to receive Your help. Amen.